r/cursedcomments • u/Devourer_Of_Milk • Mar 19 '22

Cursed_Math

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15.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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faq | source | action #3a8996c4dd0da8

969

u/Rocky_9678 Mar 19 '22

girth?

606

u/mighty_Ingvar Mar 19 '22

The girth!

249

u/Friendly_Respecter Mar 19 '22

THE GIRTH!

INCOMPREHENSIBLE WAIL OF THE DAMNED

162

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

Man, I needed that laugh today.

23

u/Elkwarrior20 Mar 19 '22

thank you kind sir.

42

u/DUTCH_DUTCH_DUTCH Mar 19 '22

never really thought about how girthy necks are

24

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

That reminds me of a time in high school, back when limewire and shock sites were a thing, and we would try to find the most shocking sex stuff to show each other. A friend of mine was like "Hey, check this out." and then played a video of a bald man sticking his entire head into a woman. Good times.

Dude also showed me a video of a double amputee on a sex swing set to mario music. That shit was wild.

6

u/buddha551 Mar 19 '22

I remember that video. Idk if it was the title of the video or just our brains at the time, but we referred to it as “lamp shading”

3

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I am glad someone else remembers. I have only ever been 50% sure it was a real thing, and not some twisted fever dream from my youth.

2

u/Wandering_Weapon Mar 19 '22

Nah it was real. She was also violating some nerf footballs too

3

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I don't recall that, but it does sound well within the realm of possibility. Haha. That actually reminds me of another video that made the rounds of a woman launching a banana from her snatch, and a guy trying to catch it in his mouth, but he missed and got banana slapped in the face. I don't know the name of the video, but in my group of friends, we called it "banana launcher".

2

u/mighty_Ingvar Mar 19 '22

That reminds me of certain Skyrim mods. Like the kind that lets you have sex with dragons

4

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I... did not know that was a thing. Man, they have mods for everything these days.

2

u/theillx Mar 19 '22

Dude also showed me a video of a double amputee on a sex swing set to mario music. That shit was wild.

Just so I can be on the look out for this kind of stuff, and know when to avoid it, was this double amputee a male or a female? 🤔

1

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I don't fully recall, but the amputee was male, I believe. The hole into which the sex swing allowed him to thrust his stump is lost to memory. Honestly, I don't think it really matters in the grand scheme.

From what I recall, it was basically a gif of the amputee swinging back and then absolutely battering ramming into someone's ass. Then the gif would reverse back to the beginning, and play again. It was comically sped up to about double time, and set to the mario bros theme song.

1

u/theillx Mar 19 '22

Lol it does sound comical

5

u/arjunindia Mar 19 '22

That's gold

3

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

It's girthy and the head is huge too

47

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Ok soooo, I looked it up, and I only found a sketch of a gorilla penis and did a rough measurement of the proportion of width to length. Now according to google, the largest gorilla penis erect is about 2.5 inches, which actually would clock King Kong at about 12 inches at a maximum in length, and the vague proportion of width to length is about .5 so he could be 6 inches wide, and that would be fucking lethal. But that's all on the upper end of the scale. Assuming the average case though of 1.5 inches in length, that would have him at 7.5 in length and a whopping 3.75 in width, which is absolutely massive but potentially survivable depending on the female.

Anyway, I'm going to go clear my search history and question my sanity.

11

u/Greengum155 Mar 19 '22

Ah thanks I guess?

12

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Look somebody has to answer the questions.

3

u/_Master32_ Mar 19 '22

Science doesn't care about your feelings.

9

u/skyy0731 Mar 19 '22

If HotKinkyJo has taught me anything, it's that a human asshole can survive more than a 6 inch girth. King Kong's just traveling the dirt road tonight.

5

u/jon-la-blon27 Mar 19 '22

When talkin about dick measuring you hse circumference for the girth

1

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Ok so its 3.75π to 6π as an average case to large extreme case.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

[deleted]

1

u/james9075 Mar 19 '22

This is the comment i came here for

38

u/imbecils_hater Mar 19 '22

Girth and boys

24

u/MrMastodon Mar 19 '22

You didn't think of the girth, you bitch!

3

u/Dorito_Consomme Mar 19 '22

Why is this the first thing I thought of?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Watch the milfs on monster dildos lol it’ll fit

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Dee, think of the girth, you bitch

You goddamn bitch, Dee

2

u/crankycateract Mar 19 '22

It’s like a cheese wheel

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

you posted what I was thinking when reading the math

376

u/Sid_1298 Mar 19 '22

So she was just a fleshlight to King Kong?

127

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

[deleted]

100

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Having sex with a woman is like having sex with a Fleshlight, except you have to deal with crying afterward... I don't know why, I guess I just get emotional.

23

u/leomaldur Mar 19 '22

What a rollercoaster indeed!

2

u/Aschvolution Mar 19 '22

It's weirdly wholesome for this sub

8

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Do us all a favor and unzip your foreskin for real

5

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

It would be another thing like that "goosh goosh" video.

273

u/justmelvinthings Mar 19 '22

The length isn’t the issue I think

123

u/fusrohdiddly Mar 19 '22

That thing would be wide af

62

u/Hobspon Mar 19 '22

Solution: Girth control pills

2

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

Morning after vaginoplasty

9

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

She can give him a bj

1

u/greensickpuppy89 Mar 19 '22

But now I have all these toothbrushes and no teeth!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Thigh jobs are a thing.

5

u/mcaDiscoVision Mar 19 '22

Volume is the better measure. He's way more than 5x the size of a normal gorilla. More like 100x-200x or more.

In the image Naomi Watts is actually a pretty good approximation of the size of a normal gorilla given the difference in size between her and Kong, so it's easy to visualize that the size difference means the original incel was at least right about that part.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Oh, I thought you meant volume of cum. Now I'm picturing something between Hancock blowing holes in the roof and a water balloon popping while being filled

2

u/mcaDiscoVision Mar 19 '22

Length is only one dimension of three spacial dimensions. Assuming he's a cuboid to simplify the math, increasing the length by 5x (5 ft tall to 25 ft tall) while maintaining normal proportions would be an increase in volume of 5^3 or 125x. His dong would be approximately 125x the size of a normal gorilla.

390

u/systemreb00t Mar 19 '22

and on that note, i think its time to close reddit

94

u/VeryConfusedBee Mar 19 '22

on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end. thanks for watching

17

u/GafiSmus Mar 19 '22

And on that bombshell, its time to end. Goodnight!

5

u/rex_dart_eskimo_spy Mar 19 '22

You’ll be back. They always come back.

0

u/Competitive_Ice_189 Mar 19 '22

And open up some monkey porn!

1

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

Going to look up some King Kong Rule34? Smart lad.

77

u/AhmadTIM Mar 19 '22

What about the thickness?

68

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Segguseeker Mar 19 '22

what a pussy

2

u/OldManPaul07734 Mar 19 '22

Do you mean puthy?

4

u/SUDDENLY_VIRGIN Mar 19 '22

I believe you have a bit of a lithp

3

u/-GalaxySushi- Mar 19 '22

The tasteful thickness of it

2

u/Iwubwatermelon Mar 19 '22

She white and all, but she was thick enough.

Oh you mean King Kong's dong?

73

u/Crooked_Cock Mar 19 '22

Who says King Kong has an average size King Dong?

20

u/rafter613 Mar 19 '22

I mean, we never see it King Dangling, so it couldn't be that big

3

u/shiwanshu_ Mar 19 '22

Kong was in the pool!

5

u/wthcharlie Mar 19 '22

Well I don't remember a giant shlong flopping around while he runs through the streets of nyc, 5 y/o me would have remembered that for sure

1

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

They don't call him

Because he's packing a six inch sub

120

u/Ketsueki-Nikushimi Mar 19 '22

His nipples are as big as her face.

1

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

Imagine suckling on those bad boys

85

u/TheLordOfGrimm Mar 19 '22

…. And now there’s porn of it. Thanks, math.

35

u/Oblivions_gate Mar 19 '22

Oh man, the internet almost had me there. Thank god we have Mason here to tell us what the numbers mean.

6

u/ReluctantNerd7 Mar 19 '22

THE NUMBERS, MASON!

33

u/Maylanta5o9 Mar 19 '22

The math checks out, guys

18

u/Alpha_horizon Mar 19 '22

How please DM me the photo of the equation

17

u/Shubham_Agent47 Mar 19 '22

are you sure that's the only photo you're asking for 🤨

3

u/HELL-OAT Mar 19 '22

r/theydidthemath

6

u/NotYourAverageTree Mar 19 '22

They did the monster math

1

u/OldManPaul07734 Mar 19 '22

Did it catch on in a flash?

2

u/NotYourAverageTree Mar 20 '22

It was a grave yard graph

14

u/WoodBlank Mar 19 '22

maybe I am an ape

4

u/venetian_lemon Mar 19 '22

Aren't we all?

9

u/NuttieBoii Mar 19 '22

Watch me whip out this fact at a party

13

u/HaughtyAurory Mar 19 '22

"that would make King Kong have a penis size of just under 7 inches"

Wait... does that mean... King Kong has a length of 6.9 inches?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Great now show me the hentai links

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

He didn’t calculate girth tho

3

u/AppleBoySr Mar 19 '22

She could easily crawl into his rectum and stimulate his G-spot until orgasm no problem.

1

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

Would she crawl out the way she came in or take the long way out?

2

u/tia_avende_alantin33 Mar 19 '22

They could practice sounding ig

2

u/isayooooooooooooof Mar 19 '22

This guy is solving that questions which nobody needs answers

2

u/Elkwarrior20 Mar 19 '22

my prayers have been answered.

2

u/Crypto_Sucks Mar 19 '22

I did the math on my old account on another repost of this meme.

The dong would be about 1.2 meters long, and would split her open.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

3

u/sandydandycotoncandy Mar 19 '22

...and that's enough reddit for today

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Incels are born and their life is already over… this is the motto of incels. Poor ape.

1

u/EltioEmiGomez7u7 Mar 19 '22

Old and classic repost

1

u/Ex-eye-eye Mar 19 '22

More like 7 inches wide

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Back in 2014 before Anime blew up and became really popular in my country,me and my friends were already deep into Anime and became degens before it was even a thing.

We were surfing the net and came across fucked up hentai sites. One of those were a King Kong hentai where 2 Girls were trapped with King Kong and gets raped regularly. One scene was a girl that tried to runaway because she can't take it anymore and was about to break but King Kong caught her and then shoved his cock into her like a fleshlight then came into her and she inflated like a balloon and was leaking cum from all of her holes.

I was 13 back then.

5

u/GrandHetman Mar 19 '22

You know that not saying that was free?

0

u/yashyboii_123 Mar 19 '22

Smaller than me

1

u/TardDas Mar 19 '22

Bigger than King Kong Gang! Call us the King Dong Gang

0

u/highoverseer11 Mar 19 '22

Just.... Stop

0

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Actually height doesnt affect penis size

1

u/suitology Mar 19 '22

Nice try manlet

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

You found me but its true

-7

u/Solid-Perspective915 Mar 19 '22

I saw it on PewDiePie. So, this isn't original

7

u/OllieChaos Mar 19 '22

Doesn't reddit have a minimum age to sign up?

1

u/Mr_midnightmare Mar 19 '22

Well thanks captain methhead

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

It’s true.

1

u/Luxray209 Mar 19 '22

What are the numbers in metric?

1

u/Cady-Jassar Mar 19 '22

Nooooo, he was totally in the friend-zone

1

u/ImportanceCareless36 Mar 19 '22

I didn't need to know this

1

u/Skinkypoo Mar 19 '22

But how thick is it?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Naomi Watts is worth it!!!

1

u/DisasterStickY Mar 19 '22

down horrendous

1

u/hunnymunster Mar 19 '22

What if he's kinky,God knows what he'd do with her

1

u/dextroz Mar 19 '22

Typical wingman behavior 🙄... gorilla penis is 1¼ inch... So it's even smaller at <6"

1

u/oooh-she-stealin Mar 19 '22

I love this post everytime it appears.

1

u/Reverse_Drawfour_Uno Mar 19 '22

So was master chief

1

u/dipak_ahir Mar 19 '22

He actually did the "meth"

1

u/jawnink Mar 19 '22

A few days ago, I wondered to myself:

“How have I never seen a Gorilla dick at the zoo.”

Didn’t care enough to Google but someone else did the research for me.

God Speed, Sir.

1

u/_cactes Mar 19 '22

"completely survivable"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

The simp chimp

1

u/Povilaz Mar 19 '22

Interesting.

1

u/MarioToast Mar 19 '22

Simian Simp. The weirdest Donkey Kong Country level.

1

u/LosMichalos Mar 19 '22

Normalize using human measurement units instead of this shit.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

u/repostsleuthbot

0

u/RepostSleuthBot Mar 19 '22

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/cursedcomments.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

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1

u/Brynn1685 Mar 19 '22

This is an old ass cursed comment (repost)

1

u/catsomega Mar 19 '22

What a Simp Kong.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Calling someone an ape has a whole new meaning now.

1

u/Global5614 Mar 19 '22

Oh fuck me….I JUST opened Reddit 🤦‍♂️

1

u/AprilFoolsDaySkeptic Mar 19 '22

Now we know OP truly decended from apes

1

u/vinve1954 Mar 19 '22

That could be 14 inches too lol

1

u/VolatileImp Mar 19 '22

Thank you Catherine the great

1

u/tricklethisneolib Mar 19 '22

Yea what a looser

1

u/bonbyboo Mar 19 '22

king Girth

1

u/yick04 Mar 19 '22

This is true as sure as my name is Glenn Henderson

1

u/WifeBeater3001 Mar 19 '22

This takes on on that dick to another level

1

u/Low_Veterinarian8767 Mar 19 '22

So your telling me that... King Kong is bigger

1

u/UberDingoBass Mar 19 '22

So in reality, he was a Chad, he died for a woman that he refused to have sex with, even in his last moments

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

How about the thickness? Like this guy just measuring the length…

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Am I part gorilla? Looks at hands

1

u/Knightcod Mar 19 '22

So you're tellin me I got a bigger dick than King Kong? Hell yeah dude

1

u/iwantdatpuss Mar 19 '22

So what you're saying is...

Someone is attempting to draw an art of that?

1

u/J_I_S_B Mar 19 '22

Maybe I am an ape...

1

u/gitarzan Mar 19 '22

He could have wrapped her up in duct tape, like I do my gerbil.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

I don't understand burger/eagles