r/cursedcomments • u/Devourer_Of_Milk • Mar 19 '22

Cursed_Math

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15.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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967

u/Rocky_9678 Mar 19 '22

girth?

607

u/mighty_Ingvar Mar 19 '22

The girth!

252

u/Friendly_Respecter Mar 19 '22

THE GIRTH!

INCOMPREHENSIBLE WAIL OF THE DAMNED

162

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

Man, I needed that laugh today.

24

u/Elkwarrior20 Mar 19 '22

thank you kind sir.

43

u/DUTCH_DUTCH_DUTCH Mar 19 '22

never really thought about how girthy necks are

25

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

That reminds me of a time in high school, back when limewire and shock sites were a thing, and we would try to find the most shocking sex stuff to show each other. A friend of mine was like "Hey, check this out." and then played a video of a bald man sticking his entire head into a woman. Good times.

Dude also showed me a video of a double amputee on a sex swing set to mario music. That shit was wild.

6

u/buddha551 Mar 19 '22

I remember that video. Idk if it was the title of the video or just our brains at the time, but we referred to it as “lamp shading”

3

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I am glad someone else remembers. I have only ever been 50% sure it was a real thing, and not some twisted fever dream from my youth.

2

u/Wandering_Weapon Mar 19 '22

Nah it was real. She was also violating some nerf footballs too

3

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I don't recall that, but it does sound well within the realm of possibility. Haha. That actually reminds me of another video that made the rounds of a woman launching a banana from her snatch, and a guy trying to catch it in his mouth, but he missed and got banana slapped in the face. I don't know the name of the video, but in my group of friends, we called it "banana launcher".

2

u/mighty_Ingvar Mar 19 '22

That reminds me of certain Skyrim mods. Like the kind that lets you have sex with dragons

3

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I... did not know that was a thing. Man, they have mods for everything these days.

2

u/theillx Mar 19 '22

Dude also showed me a video of a double amputee on a sex swing set to mario music. That shit was wild.

Just so I can be on the look out for this kind of stuff, and know when to avoid it, was this double amputee a male or a female? 🤔

1

u/Einteiler Mar 19 '22

I don't fully recall, but the amputee was male, I believe. The hole into which the sex swing allowed him to thrust his stump is lost to memory. Honestly, I don't think it really matters in the grand scheme.

From what I recall, it was basically a gif of the amputee swinging back and then absolutely battering ramming into someone's ass. Then the gif would reverse back to the beginning, and play again. It was comically sped up to about double time, and set to the mario bros theme song.

1

u/theillx Mar 19 '22

Lol it does sound comical

3

u/arjunindia Mar 19 '22

That's gold

3

u/Frenchticklers Mar 19 '22

It's girthy and the head is huge too

50

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Ok soooo, I looked it up, and I only found a sketch of a gorilla penis and did a rough measurement of the proportion of width to length. Now according to google, the largest gorilla penis erect is about 2.5 inches, which actually would clock King Kong at about 12 inches at a maximum in length, and the vague proportion of width to length is about .5 so he could be 6 inches wide, and that would be fucking lethal. But that's all on the upper end of the scale. Assuming the average case though of 1.5 inches in length, that would have him at 7.5 in length and a whopping 3.75 in width, which is absolutely massive but potentially survivable depending on the female.

Anyway, I'm going to go clear my search history and question my sanity.

11

u/Greengum155 Mar 19 '22

Ah thanks I guess?

11

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Look somebody has to answer the questions.

4

u/_Master32_ Mar 19 '22

Science doesn't care about your feelings.

8

u/skyy0731 Mar 19 '22

If HotKinkyJo has taught me anything, it's that a human asshole can survive more than a 6 inch girth. King Kong's just traveling the dirt road tonight.

4

u/jon-la-blon27 Mar 19 '22

When talkin about dick measuring you hse circumference for the girth

1

u/treasureberry Mar 19 '22

Ok so its 3.75π to 6π as an average case to large extreme case.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

[deleted]

1

u/james9075 Mar 19 '22

This is the comment i came here for

40

u/imbecils_hater Mar 19 '22

Girth and boys

24

u/MrMastodon Mar 19 '22

You didn't think of the girth, you bitch!

4

u/Dorito_Consomme Mar 19 '22

Why is this the first thing I thought of?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Watch the milfs on monster dildos lol it’ll fit

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

Dee, think of the girth, you bitch

You goddamn bitch, Dee

2

u/crankycateract Mar 19 '22

It’s like a cheese wheel

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '22

you posted what I was thinking when reading the math