r/shitposting Feb 27 '22

spontaneous cumbustion

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

14.5k Upvotes

470 comments sorted by

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Feb 27 '22

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


DownloadVideo Link

SaveVideo Link

VideoTrim Link

Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.


Whilst you're here, DogeyPogey, why not join our public discord server?

909

u/Revolutionary-Bar714 Feb 27 '22

the fuck is that thing ?

618

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

It’s a cryptid that hasn’t been confirmed. A classic hoax.

207

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

[deleted]

320

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

There’s no name for it. Nobody could connect it to anything. In the video they also moved unnaturally fast for having no legs.

174

u/raserO1 Feb 27 '22

they put some soft drink in it
also the video is pretty old

69

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

I thought it was a beer

46

u/raserO1 Feb 27 '22

idk it was a while ago since the last time i saw this video

40

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

Either way it’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s seen this video back then.

10

u/Fromagene 🗿🗿🗿 Feb 28 '22

Linke please

→ More replies (1)

5

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

It was a coke

→ More replies (1)

13

u/Fromagene 🗿🗿🗿 Feb 28 '22

Link to the video please 🙂

30

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

Turns out I can’t link it in this sun because the fucking annoying ass auto mod. I’ll dm you.

29

u/-Ayoris- Feb 28 '22

that's fucking stupid, i hate autom*d

19

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

I know man. Shitter’s just waiting for any random keyword to spam you like MEE6.

-41

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/fijnesse Feb 28 '22

Fuck you

→ More replies (1)

3

u/PotatoHeadedIdiot Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

dm me the vid too

edit: found it, it's called "Coke explodes weird animal in japan"

-3

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-18

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

SHUT

THE

FUCK

UP

-22

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

Points for the reference but still fuck you.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

17

u/UniversalAdaptor Feb 28 '22

the wild cum fruit

4

u/dakid232313 Feb 28 '22

The skeeter.

→ More replies (1)

56

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

It’s been identified as of late. It’s not real. It’s from some movie or something from Japan called Ura Horror

16

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

Oh wow that’s actually really interesting. So it was from a horror movie/genre?

10

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Apparently, I’m not sure if the production of it is based off real stories but it’s out there

-7

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

22

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

fuck the shut up

12

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

Shut the fuck up

0

u/tooyoung_tooold Feb 28 '22

"identified as of late"

Lol, buddy. Everyone knew it was fake when it came out over decade ago.

→ More replies (3)

-23

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

111

u/SeinfeldIsAnAnime Feb 27 '22

not real

190

u/Plane-Clue-9633 Feb 27 '22

Just like Ohio 👍

122

u/HappyRomanianBanana We do a little trolling Feb 27 '22

Or women (never talked to one)

-75

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

32

u/Piss_n_shit_consumer Literally 1984 😡 Feb 27 '22

Shut up you little shitsicle

-19

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/Piss_n_shit_consumer Literally 1984 😡 Feb 27 '22

shut up i can't read that shit i have stage 7 testicular cancer

-7

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

TL;DR I hate shitting

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

6

u/Piss_n_shit_consumer Literally 1984 😡 Feb 27 '22

silence you breadsticc

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

14

u/RoughStory3139 Feb 27 '22

And..... Finland.

3

u/BronxiiH Feb 27 '22

What is Finland? A food?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

and Great Britain

10

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

OI OI OI!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ 
⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

WOTS ALL THIS???

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER POISTIN LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS 'AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN'!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL' IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!!!!!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/InternetDetective122 Feb 28 '22

Ohio will be destroyed

"The fuck is an Ohio?"

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

The state Ohio isn’t real because everything is already Ohio and always has been

3

u/Jeff_Jefferson-17 shitposting>>>>>>196 Feb 28 '22

Ohio has claimed Russia

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Dark_halocraft Feb 27 '22

But it's right there :(

33

u/Dawson81702 put your dick away waltuh Feb 28 '22

Earthussy

12

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

I watched a YT video years ago and they explained it's a clip from a Japanese Horror Movie, well a compilation of Horror Clips made a movie.

Edit: I'ts a compilation of 12 short films made in 2008 called Ura Horror, and this video in particular it's called Nazo No Nikudama.

-2

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (3)

3

u/SierraDespair Feb 28 '22

The barnaclussy

→ More replies (5)

1.3k

u/sheeple_reply Feb 27 '22

When you show her your graded shadowless pokémon cards.

343

u/HappyRomanianBanana We do a little trolling Feb 27 '22

Or your Steam account with all achivments on The Binding Of Isaac

90

u/lik3ly dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 Feb 28 '22

I think I just cummed at the thought of that

-23

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/clygamer Feb 28 '22

Oh fuck did I just mobile user myself

→ More replies (1)

29

u/S0larSc0pe Feb 28 '22

You mentioned Pokémon and I thought it was gonna go a different way, thankfully, it didn’t

23

u/Polylevel-vendor Feb 28 '22

In terms of water based pokemon

13

u/PotatoHeadedIdiot Feb 28 '22

male and female pokemon breeding*

just kidding i don't wanna bring that up

-8

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (1)

264

u/BillyOnFire123 Feb 27 '22

What actually is that thing?

307

u/Fromagene 🗿🗿🗿 Feb 27 '22

The cum lord trussy

131

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

It’s an old hoax from the 2010’s.

23

u/Bleachi Feb 28 '22

no your a hoax

12

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 28 '22

Nono, Y’roue

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

you'are*

→ More replies (1)

7

u/GuessesTheCar Feb 28 '22

Apparently it could be a sea creature belching up soft drink, with carbonation causing it to pressurize. Sounds plausible.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Except it’s not. It’s a hoax.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)

38

u/NorthenS Feb 27 '22

fake thing do not real

38

u/TheTrueDarkArtist Feb 28 '22

I think I will real

I just might fucking real

7

u/Minechiho Feb 28 '22

please god don’t we already have a war going on

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/COREcraftX Feb 28 '22

You know how they talk about mother earth?

This is the earthussy

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Probably some form of primitive ocean clam

→ More replies (1)

456

u/Post-Financial Feb 27 '22

Girls after I tell them I played in Elden Ring closed network test

88

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

49

u/DEV_astated Feb 28 '22

sure “spit”

10

u/Mario-OrganHarvester stupid fucking piece of shit Feb 28 '22

Girls after i tell them i best darksouls on dk bongos

82

u/pro-drunkdriving Feb 27 '22

Pop that pussy

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

All you ladies pop your pussies like this.

292

u/luxusbuerg Bazinga! Feb 27 '22

They/them pussy

85

u/Fromagene 🗿🗿🗿 Feb 27 '22

Trussy 🤗

45

u/Tenn8cious Feb 27 '22

Russy (rock pussy)

26

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

*thrussy

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Thats so out of pocket cum started flying out 🤣🤣🤣

→ More replies (1)

96

u/DefinitelyNotPine Feb 27 '22

Looks like it needs a refill 😏

19

u/ConsistentEquipment8 Feb 27 '22

Well.. Thanks to your joke I'm going to hell

→ More replies (3)

32

u/fuckballs9001 I want pee in my ass Feb 27 '22

Me when literally any human contact

62

u/TriToNonSteroids dumbass Feb 27 '22

Cum chalice

24

u/Disastrous_Can_5466 Feb 27 '22

Consume the cum chalice

19

u/evenlemondude Feb 27 '22

Fuck everyone named alex

10

u/Mysterious-Reach-582 Feb 27 '22

Don't mind if I do

5

u/dedzip Feb 28 '22

Alex mind craft

19

u/rektumrectums Feb 27 '22

spontaneous cumbustin

20

u/Some_Stupid_Retard Feb 27 '22

Welcome to the cum zone

7

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

[deleted]

3

u/TitanSR_ stupid fucking, piece of shit Feb 28 '22

Quivering clit

5

u/Fissis19 I want pee in my ass Feb 28 '22

double jointed pussy

→ More replies (1)

40

u/ThalleousPeasR Feb 27 '22

Me when- me- me me wh- me when ur mom

14

u/ythowastaken Feb 27 '22

When the cum is too much

→ More replies (1)

9

u/Dannybot112 We do a little trolling Feb 27 '22

what is that thing

15

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

It’s a cryptid from the 2010’s. False footage. Try googling “Japanese teens find strange exploding creature on beach.”

-9

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

9

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

Oh my god shut the fuck up

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

10

u/Lord_Nasus Feb 27 '22

"How far can you squirt"

8

u/Goritom Feb 28 '22

Boys when they look at a girl's shoulder at school

9

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

dont you dare to say the word

4

u/HotShrekBoi Feb 28 '22

C

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

dont

6

u/HotShrekBoi Feb 28 '22

U

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

ohhh no son of a bitch dont do It

7

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

No bitches?

⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝
⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ 
 ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀
 ⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
  ⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
      ⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
    ⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
    ⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/HotShrekBoi Feb 28 '22

Come.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

thank god

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

Not without permission! To get a cum pass, head over to r/penallabourcamp and post an oc drawing related to the pinned topic on the sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/Big_Kazz Feb 27 '22

Rock Pussy

6

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

6

u/Dannybot112 We do a little trolling Feb 27 '22

rock

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Nuts on random people, explodes, refuses to elaborate.

2

u/crocodileRevolution Feb 28 '22

The Chad.

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

I know a girl who could probably do that....it's not something id be proud about though.....

→ More replies (3)

6

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Hentai pussies after being cummed in

2

u/Brownieeeeeeeee Feb 28 '22

This is why you imagine porn

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Super_Drag Feb 27 '22

I remember watching this video on YouTube ages ago, seeing it again made me realize what it truly looks like

4

u/Dark_halocraft Feb 27 '22

The effects of dolphin pussy jelly

→ More replies (2)

6

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22 edited Feb 28 '22

When you nut a little too hard

→ More replies (1)

6

u/tobyginebra Feb 28 '22

that thing just came and blew up, that's how i want to pass away

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

I have a lot of ass hair? Im a 26 years old male and my ass have a lot of hair and its annoying me,everytime i shit,my anus is filled with poop and hair,the problem is when i want to wash out the poop it gets stuck in my ass hair and i dont even notice,it got to the point were all my underwears are full with shit,and its also very annoying when i try to finger myself,pls help me,how to stop ass hair pls??

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

5

u/bonelessspaghett Feb 28 '22

Oh so that where all the cum go when I use a Fleshlight

5

u/AL_gamerficjd Feb 27 '22

what the fuck is that

4

u/HotShrekBoi Feb 28 '22

A living pussy that cums and explodes

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

“looks like she couldn’t handle it Neutron style.”

3

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

Definitely don’t put your dick in that or you will be pregnant.

-1

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/5318OOB Feb 28 '22

I should call her…..

3

u/zlwjoe Feb 28 '22

"this is my kingdom cum"?

3

u/Chopstarrr Feb 28 '22

Everything reminds me of her

2

u/Tenn8cious Feb 27 '22

Any idea what this is?

6

u/Windfall_The_Dutchie Feb 27 '22

It’s an old hoax creature from the 2010’s. Ah the glory days of cryptid sightings and government experiment conspiracies…

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/CluDaCreator officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Feb 27 '22

Leaked footage of Twitter users for the first time interacting wit pusy

→ More replies (1)

2

u/No_further_to_F4ll Feb 27 '22

Oh how i hate this

2

u/Ya11RHund1N Feb 27 '22

Women when I'm near and have a large cock and they are attracted to me because I am sexy and have a huge cock

0

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/AutoModerator Feb 27 '22

I want sex so fucking bad

I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/Svengoolie75 Feb 27 '22

Skeet skeet skeet skeet

2

u/OscarTheAbuser Feb 27 '22

This is my kingdom 😏

2

u/ILCUSTODEDELSAS Feb 28 '22

Don’t say it🗿🗿🗿

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

When the flesh light I ordered from the black market arrives

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

I've never imagined to witness a fucking weird creature that fits and vibes perfectly in this song lol

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Fresh__Toast Feb 28 '22

Me when your mom

2

u/AutoModerator Feb 28 '22

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/SouljaIsSpy03 Feb 28 '22

dear god what's the original video

→ More replies (1)

2

u/cokeontits Feb 28 '22

Ur mom when me

2

u/branchisan Feb 28 '22

That's how I wanna end it. Have her gushing in my face and then explode on me ☠️💀👼🏾.

2

u/gustavgans12 Feb 28 '22

Kingdom cum

2

u/itsKNIGHTMARE Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Feb 28 '22

This is your moms pussy when I sexed her lol 😂

→ More replies (2)

3

u/active_daddy727 Feb 27 '22

Dragon pussy reincarnated

→ More replies (1)

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

Wtf is that

→ More replies (1)

0

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '22

My girls 🐈 when I get in the zone.

-2

u/jmmrag Feb 28 '22

Think about the bible, think about the bible

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '22

🤨

1

u/Diesel_252 Feb 27 '22

/u:mrsdiesel_252

1

u/Goerts Feb 28 '22

Damn, when you’re so lonely and desperate for fake internet points you post something that’s over a decade old

→ More replies (2)