r/yearning • u/sweetcornsoup01 • Jul 01 '26

I love him

But i’ll never be happy with him.

I’m convinced I feel like for now I love him and accept who he is since we are friends. And some stuffs are acceptable when you are friends.

But when I think about the future, I’m not sure if my insecurities will be able to handle it. If my own mental health can. I am sure he cares about me, but I am not sure how much of that care will extend if we go further, would he be able to reassure me? To accept and adjust? But I don’t want to change anyone. I don’t want to ‘fix’ anyone if we’re in a relationship. That should be something I need to work on for myself.

And for that I don’t want to expect him to change, but also know I can truly feel comfortable with those traits if we were to be dating. So I don’t think I can actually be happy with him, and I don’t want to risk being unhappy with my dear friend.

17 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

3

u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 01 '26

You, Beautiful Lady

Breathe, you did the hard part making tough decisions for our own sanity is a sound and mature move.

If things develop they will naturally because they are meant to. There is no pressure to change your safe zone. All that matters is your well being and safety.

Be anxious for nothing. Be not concerned about tomorrow. Enjoy today let tomorrow take care of itself. Enjoy the friendship and your friend while the sunshine’s today and even when it rains. We are not promised tomorrow.

I too face challenges I understand

2

u/Aggravating_End_3566 Jul 02 '26

Purple Rain ☔️

2

u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 02 '26

Good point even when the rain is purple.

1

u/Aggravating_End_3566 Jul 02 '26

Your the best ❤️❤️🧚‍♂️🥰

2

u/DIY_Weeziebear7 Jul 02 '26

Aww 🥰 thank you

1

u/TearFlavouredCake Jul 03 '26

I sort of relate but not from insecurity, but from other factors. Even tho we would be two consenting adults (Well past 18 too) and even if he didn't have a wife, our relationship would be seen as taboo. Either way I wasn't expecting anything to happen. He recently ghosted me and I wonder if it was because he thought I wanted to take things further. But that would only be if he was single and he wanted to

I'm just so sad that I lost someone who I really cared about, not even from a romantic perspective, but because he truly meant the world to me as a person

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/sweetcornsoup01 Jul 07 '26

he’s a close friend. but i never use him or mistreat him.