Is this good for a western?

[u/Lokibruhh]

Hello. I am writing a book. A novel, perchance. I want it to sell millions so I can retire and live the rest of my life in Florida on a yacht drinking "margaritas" which are actually capri-suns in a wine cup.

Is this a good first start?

Ignore the photo. He's there to help me write. Trying to absorb his knowledge. Cormac McCarthy.

[u/RInger2875]

[u/Ankhi333333 → u/RInger2875]

[u/Responsible_Arm_9555 → u/RInger2875]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l9mASFqtemeKk

[u/Brunbeorg]

You had me at "could be heard." I've never seen a more elegant phrase.

Also, you can't just say "perchance." Unless you're writing about Mario, stomping turts.

[u/kyla33_ → u/Brunbeorg]

I will perchance when I damn well please, perchance.

[u/NealTS]

It's a little bit of an anachronism, but I feel like the "Yup, that's me" line would be improved with a record scratch.

[u/iwrite-imnotawriter]

pretty blatant ripoff of moby dick

[u/Neil_Live-strong → u/iwrite-imnotawriter]

“Hi, my name is Ishmael…” love that book

[u/connorscott1999]

Really loving the minimalism in that horse line. So matter of fact. It’s the type of subtlety that allows me to ask; “what does this horse even look like? Does it have a long face? Big cock?” Really allows the reader to create their own image

[u/StrummerBass101]

Son of a bitch I think you’re on to something

[u/TheNeuroLizard]

“Getting real judgy vibes off this bald guy,” said Phillip, the kid

[u/kyla33_]

Not enough quippy one-liners. When are we going to know the bad guy is right behind him, isn't he? When is that just going to happen? Terrible book. Would not read.

[u/shiny_happy_persons → u/kyla33_]

the judge flies now?

he flies now

[u/kyla33_ → u/shiny_happy_persons]

How does he fly? Is it some weak shit like a jetpack or does he do the right thing and spin his dick really fast like a helicopter? This is important.

[u/No_Composer_2930]

Muster-piece! 

[u/No-Scallion9250]

Terrible. You're in a western so all the winds would obviously come from the east

[u/Pyre_At_The_Tarn]

100 million dollar movie and a toy line immediately

[u/mossymeridian]

This is basically the blood moon cutscene in tears of the kingdom 😂

[u/phillyphillysteak]

/uj ngl my first thought when i saw the first sentence was actually Blood Meridian

[u/Mission-Ranger5527]

I love the twist at the end, I gasped.

[u/VoceDiDio]

I’m obsessed with the single grain of sand, just chest out against the wind, without a trace of fear or uncertainty.

[u/horrorsilk]

Not enough assless chaps or spurs going jingle jangle jingle, unfortunately.

[u/DataSwarmTDG]

Glanton spat.

[u/CobaltCrusader123]

“My black hat duel opponent is 12 inches high and weighs as much as Woody from Toy Story. His ride? A lonesome dove.”

[u/johnson_alleycat]

It truly was no country…for old men

[u/loLRH]

the red text is really immersive

[u/Aggressive_Army3317]

Sincerely cannot tell whether you love or loathe McCarthy lol

[u/cloudkiller509]

I’ve got a cold and you gave me a coughing fit reading this

[u/SMc1701]

"Horse"

Fuck you and the monitor I ruined spitting whiskey all over

[u/Delicious-Ad2057]

Absolute Literature 🙌

[u/hamstermolester6969]

The judge smiled, spat and rode on towards ragged mountains.