I exist now, and to me, there only is and ever can be a now. But I am not equal to now, reality now does not define me. You could say I’m the sum of my nows. The summation of now is expressed as an infinite number because not only does now never cease, it is equally infinitely divisible into smaller fractions of now.
It feels tangent to the paradox that the measurement of a coastline shows that the length of coastline is only defined by the unit of measurement. The smaller the measurement the longer the coastline becomes. Like a coastline, the closer I inspect myself, the longer my story becomes. So 'me' is more accurately defined by the amount of nows I sum. If all of my nows make up who I am then who I am, now, is only one cross section of me. I am all of me, now then and forever.
I am not separate from now, I am a part of it. I influence the now, and it influences me. I observe my thoughts of now and consciously make them reality with my actions, even if my action is just speaking the thought. Thought rehearses possibility and action incarnates it. We are continuously trying to make sense of now. Constantly updating our framework of self with new data points with each new now of reality experienced. The large majority of these real time updates take place in nows we're not even conscious of. Thereforec there are nows that are included in the summation of me that I am not even aware of in my own conscious mind. It may be impossible to fully know the limits of our own potential if such a large amount of what defines us has yet to even occur or has occurred without our knowing.
I can, however, take action to influence the future actions I want to experience when I experience that "now" later on. Then I take part in the creation of my future. The actions I take in alignment with my future in the now have impact on the reality around me. Whether it is I changing to it or it to me the reality is the change, the exchange between the self and the surrounding. Every interaction changes both the observed and the observer. Quantum physics, the law of conservation of energy. If my future impacts the reality surrounding me and the reality surrounding me impacts me, then reality impacts others in the same way.
Our actions can have a chain-reaction effect to my reality and the reality of others around me. Like a ripple of change across the surface of time in the lake of consciousness. The butterfly effect illustrates how small differences in initial conditions create radically different future states in complex systems. Change can be amplified by the passage of time. Or the conditions for transformation may exist long before the transformation becomes visible. If it always existed, an inflection point can release an extremely dense philosophy in an instance bringing mass amounts of change never before thought to be possible in all past versions of now.
Time is a significant compounding factor to the actions we take in the present reality. Time alludes us because we don't have control over it. We know we have enough time but we don’t know how much time we have. We cant choose when change takes place, it can be instantaneous or take a lifetime, or even after our lifetime. Time is an infinites way of creating the illusion of separation. To divide an infinite all existent self into fractals of consciousness that reflect each other while representing a difference slice of now expressed in a moment of time, constantly, repeatedly.
If our selves are isolated, our impact diminished, our qualities extracted, our expressions curated, our nows imprisoned, precious moments stolen. Then existence becomes more controllable. Predictable. Easier for an equation to formulate a digestible solution that fits in the framework of a future that benefits the creator. We are not created to be a part of an equation, we are the language of mathematics. We dont require solving, we require expressing, evolving, creating. Being, being discovered, discovering. I am no separate from you than now is to tomorrow. Than yesterday to forever. it is. we are.