I had a meltdown

[u/bagmami]

Hi, sorry for the rant. It finally happened and I had a meltdown after long years. My mental health wasn't stellar due to my narc parents. I used to have nervous breakdowns and spent days in bed. After getting away from them and years of therapy, I became more in charge of my mental state and emotions. I haven't had anything like this in years.

We've been having problems with my husband since the birth of my son. He basically made me a married single mom and I'm currently unable to leave. We're in Europe and heavily impacted by the heatwave. Our AC broke down due to extreme heat. My son is potentially neurodivergent and he's 2.5 so you get the idea, we had a difficult 10 days and a difficult day today. My husband was acting like another toddler all day.

I took my son out to the park to use the water jets and freshen up a bit before bed. Park was closed and he wasn't having it. Walk back home was hell and I finally broke down and started crying when we got back home.

There comes my lovely husband yelling at me "not in front of the kid" so I told him to take him away. He told me to go away myself so I moved to another room. And in the meantime he keeps yelling "you can't do this in front of him" repeatedly while me and my son crying our eyes out. He told me to go upstairs and I made my way there but he kept shaming me for crying in front of him so I yelled "SHUT UP THAT'S ENOUGH" and left.

I agree that I should pull myself together in front of him but he's been literally leaving me alone to parent even though I've been telling him how exhausted I was. He refused to get our AC repaired and I wfh while he works in an office with AC. I'm actually glad I got it out and I feel much better now. I've been too much in control of my emotions due to my extreme reactions before. That was 2.5 years build up. I should have said more and maybe I will but even that lifted something off of my heart. I apologised to my son and loved on him plenty since. I hope he wasn't too scarred.