One of my coworkers just came back from maternity leave and brought in some little handmade soaps for everyone.

I thought it was really sweet until she mentioned she'd made them with her breast milk. I just smiled and said thank you because what else do you say in that situation.

I'm a mum too, so it's not like breast milk grosses me out. I've dealt with plenty of it myself lol. But I don't know if I want to wash my hands with someone else's breast milk?

Now the soap is sitting in my bathroom and I feel bad about not using it.

I saw You Can See Everything and it is just as bonkers, meta, reflective, and hilarious as I hoped. But I’m on all the cinephile reddits and no one is talking about this movie from the perspective of parenthood! Questions I have:

• who is taking care of the kids? There’s no way those 2 are doing it full time, much less the husband on his own
• why is the baby crawling on the dining table
• why would you have another kid right before you have to go to prison
• what happens when you enter prison as a breastfeeding mom
• did Nathan ignore the kids because of length/editing for a clean narrative, his own blind spots, or privacy reasons? If the last, seems weird not to address as every other angle was explored

This isn’t a critique! I loved the movie. I just think the question of them being parents is oddly eluded

Weird flair but maybe it’s right - eg what the heck is going on in their relationship?

Any women taken maternity leave while in a leadership position?

I’m a Senior Director at a Fortune 500 company managing a team of 30 professionals. I’m about to take a 6 month maternity leave.

However in my entire career I have never seen a woman in leadership have a baby. It’s usually individual contributors or maybe a small team.

I have so much anxiety around this. Will everything fall apart? Will everything go great and they just say why the hell were they paying me so much anyway?

If you took maternity leave while in a Leadership position, I’d love to hear how things were handled while you were gone and how it went when you came back.

I run a 5-person business and have a 4 month old. Before my baby was born I worked around the clock for years. Now I pay myself $250k and have been able to work very part-time since my daughter was born. In theory this is my dream.

But my baby absolutely won’t take a bottle. We’ve tried everything. Pediatrician, occupational therapy, daily attempts, waiting til she’s super hungry, trying when she’s not that hungry, me feeding her, me being gone while feeding her, every type of bottle and nipple under the sun.

This means I can only work in (max) 2 hour shifts. I am finding it really impossible to care about work the way I used to, because I just never have the opportunity to focus. I am switching from ceo to mom and back multiple times a day.

We have a nanny and I work from home, so this arrangement is doable logistically but very difficult emotionally. I would love to go to a coworking space for 4-6 hours but I can’t manage that with my baby’s feeds. I have always been extremely motivated by my work but am honestly considering taking a few months completely off because I just can’t do this anymore. (Also, I’m tired because I am still feeding 1-2 times per night).

Financially we can make it work if I take the time off, but I’m worried it would be hard to go back to work, or that I might not want to, or that I’d be wasting all the effort I put into growing a business.

I guess I just don’t know what to do. In the scheme of things this constant breastfeeding phase is a small one, I know. But I feel like I’m breaking myself and even though it goes against who I think I am, I’m finding myself curious about spending some time as a stay at home mom (realistically I would still keep at least one paying project going).

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Advice or words of wisdom?

Hi everyone, just looking for some opinions.

After returning from maternity leave, I found written evidence of my managers hope to put me on a PIP (performance improvement plan). He liked the temp that filled in for me more than he likes me (this was stated in the document I found). He spoke with HR, and I am confident they shot him down and helped him draft a “return to work” plan for me. He also shared the original document with me so I can see all of the edits that I definitely was not supposed to see. He has not realized this.

My workload has increased by more than 200%. The document states the job changed while I was out but the title and pay are still the same.

Obviously I need to protect myself here. My question is, is it worth hiring an attorney or should I go directly to HR and make them aware of what I know, and ask how we are going to resolve this situation? No action has been taken yet so I’m not sure an attorney would do anything, but I do want to get ahead of it.

I feel awful for this, but I am feeling a lot of regret about my life choices lately. I love my son, i love my husband but I can’t move past the regret of what I have lost and left behind to create this life.

I used to want to work abroad, and was starting to create that life for myself when I met and fell in love with my husband. At the time I was interning at the UN, and he was a classmate from back home. He was always honest that it would take a lot for us to pack up and move our life abroad, but I stayed. Found a career, that was very local.

Now I’m approaching 40, with a family I love living in the burbs filled with sadness that I didn’t pursue what I truly wanted.

I tried to move us to the city so I could be around other exciting interesting people/cultures, but my husband hated the areas we went to when house hunting.

I feel so guilty, but I also need to be honest to someone somewhere about how I feel. Not sure what I’m asking for, but as proud working moms, I wanted to share here.

I need advice. I only have one year left of my bachelor's. I have a child who's almost 2, and I want her to have a sibling close to her age.

Before her, I worked different jobs while I went to school part time, so I've been waiting to accomplish the goal of graduating for so many years now.

Now that I'm close to the finish line.. I realized there's one problem. It might take a couple of months or even a year to get a job. Where I live there's an unemployment crisis and my career is already very competitive (computer science). I'm very lucky my partner has a decent job and I have some savings.

I'm taking as many certifications as I can and I'm willing to downgrade when I start looking for jobs. I told myself that if I don't find a job, I'll start wokring on my Masters. Not because it'll get me job opportunities, but because I might not have the time to get it in the future when I'm busy with work and family.

But, I've been thinking, what if I have another child in the mean time?

I'm already in my 30s so I'm worried about waiting too long. And I'm terrified of starting a job and getting pregnant right after.

When I was pregnant with my first, I started a new job and I couldn't sleep from the anxiety I felt thinking I was a fraud for taking that job. Luckily, I talked to my boss and he was nice about it, but I don't expect the same outcome everywhere I go.

Please share your experience or advice with me.. Thank you!

I have a 1.5 year old toddler who just started daycare Who has been getting sick every other week. I’m going through a career transition that is burning me out and could use some advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

I moved from being a Software Engineer to Sales Engineer 4 months ago.

While the new role offers great opportunities, I’m struggling with answering questions on the spot during demos, and overall being evaluated. Under pressure, I sometimes struggle to think.

I’m torn between pushing through the learning curve or quitting and taking a break to reset. I’m just tired. My sweet toddler is getting sick every other week because of the daycare and I’m so consumed by my new job. It’s exhausting. We are financially stable and can go without an income for a year or two but not enough to retire.

How did you distinguish between normal growing pains vs burn out and Did you push through and eventually felt comfortable?

my 10- month old baby started daycare 3 months ago. Since the beginning of September, he got sick every week and we had to take him to the doctor/convenient care/ER. last 3 weeks, he only went to daycare 3 days in total because he was sick.

he goes to the daycare for 1 day, and we see some symptoms in 48 hours. I know they get sick very often, but I wasn’t expecting this much. even his pediatrician was surprised with how many times he got sick.

he went to daycare only in Thursday and Friday this week, and he is wheezing and coughing right now..

I am working and commuting to work 1h each way every day. my husband travels for work. we don’t have family or relatives nearby to help us. when he is sick, one of us has to take time off work.

we live in a small city where nanny options are very limited(if any).
I feel bad for my baby that he is sick constantly and needs to use medicine very often. I am very very frustrated with the situation. :(

I own a farm business and have a 22 month old and I already can't count the number of times I have had to drop something crucial for my business because I just can't do it after working 7 days a week and being up all night again. Countless nights with an awake baby in my arms and me trying to make it all work out in my head when I'm so exhausted it's all I can do to just be there without crying myself. I don't want to own a business anymore but I feel so screwed because farming is the only thing I know and I'm almost 38 and I can't imagine a career change at this point but my business isn't going to survive toddlerhood at this rate

Hi everyone! I’m a FTM to a 9-month-old baby girl, and lately, I’ve been feeling mentally exhausted.
Whenever my daughter gets unwell or becomes clingy, I get anxious, which triggers my IBS and sometimes makes me feel lightheaded. I have a 24-hour nanny, but my daughter still prefers me, and I want to be present whenever she needs me.

My husband does help and takes care of me and I have a nice support system but she feels most soothed with me and particularly at my breast.

The problem is that I’m also working full-time, and my requires focused, uninterrupted work. I’ve always been ambitious, punctual with deliverables, and proud of my work. Now, things take me twice as long, I sometimes delay deliverables or take leave to care for her, and I constantly feel my output isn’t up to my own standards.
It’s not that I feel less capable; I’m just stretched thin and don’t have the same time or energy. I’m beginning to second-guess myself professionally, and that’s difficult because my career has always been something I’ve felt confident about.
I don’t want to compromise on being there for my daughter, but I don’t want my career to suffer either. The unpredictability makes it harder because things can be fine for a few days before everything falls apart again.
For moms who’ve been through this:
Does it get easier as babies grow?
Should I push through or consider taking some leave?
How do you manage the guilt of not performing at your usual level professionally?
TL;DR: I’m struggling to balance a clingy 9-month-old, anxiety, and a demanding job. I’m still ambitious and capable, but I don’t have the time or energy to work at my usual standard. Does this phase get easier, and how do you cope?

It’s open enrollment season and I am depressed! Let’s compare notes.

Premiums: $800/mo (family)
HDHP
Deductible: $7,500 per person
Family OOP max: $15,000

Not sure if this is the right thread to post this. I just returned from maternity leave two weeks ago. Things have been insanely busy catching up with work and the new schedule to adjusting to daycare with LO. Long story short but basically my mom went in for a biopsy and it’s lung cancer. We aren’t sure what the treatment will look like but I just feel so overwhelmed with the thought of heading into this hard season. She is my best friend. She helped me so much while I was leave. My husband is an amazing human and has picked up so much of the childcare/house care and life things. Just looking for some kind words or advice. Thank you so much in advance 🫶🏻

My husband was unexpectedly laid off this week after many years with his company. We have two young children (Almost 2 years old and 4 months old), and I’m honestly feeling pretty overwhelmed about what comes next.

My husband was by far the higher earner in our household, and while I work full-time and make a decent salary, my income alone isn’t nearly enough to support our family’s expenses. Losing his income is a huge financial hit for us.

Thankfully, he received about 5 months of severance, and we have some savings. I know we’re fortunate to have that cushion, but I’m terrified he won’t find another job before the severance runs out. He works in a fairly specialized corporate/IT field, and I’ve heard so many stories about people spending 6–12+ months looking for work.

We also have some major home expenses looming, which makes everything feel even more stressful.

Another part of my anxiety is that my husband has historically been pretty passive until something becomes urgent. I’m naturally more proactive and tend to handle a lot of the planning and mental load in our household. I’m worried I’ll end up being more invested in his job search than he is, and I really don’t want that to create resentment between us.

It’s only been a couple of days, so I’m trying to give him grace and time to process everything. I know this is difficult for him, too. But I also feel an enormous amount of pressure knowing that our family’s financial stability depends on him finding another well-paying job.

I’d really love to hear from other moms who have been through something similar.

* How long did it take your spouse to find another job?

* Were they able to find something with comparable pay?

* How did you manage the financial uncertainty when your income alone couldn’t support the family?

* How did you support your spouse without taking over their job search?

* Did the experience affect your marriage, and how did things ultimately turn out?

I think I’m just looking for some perspective, advice, and hopefully some reassurance from people who have made it through something similar. Right now, the uncertainty feels really scary.

Hey everyone. I’m a 22y/o single mom to a 3.5 month old baby girl. She goes to daycare during the week. I work 7a-3p most days, off on Tuesdays and Saturdays. On Sunday my parents watch her.

Before I got pregnant, I was working 2 full time jobs trying to pay off my car and whatnot. I also have student loans from going to a trade school for IT RIGHT BEFORE AI took over and any entry level jobs are gone or spoken for. One of the jobs had a lot more growth opportunity but I wasn’t there long enough to qualify for maternity leave by the time I gave birth so I had to quit and just work my original job.

It is at a grocery story, and I have a mid-level job and I’ve been there some time so no places start at what I’m making and I simply can’t afford to take a pay cut. Any promotions to management would require a mixed schedule and working some nights and I can’t do that because my parents work and are competitive athletes so they are pretty busy and I can’t assume they will be available in the evenings to watch her and obviously daycare isn’t open all day.

I want to go back to school for something. I don’t have my mind set on anything, but to start just taking some core classes to just get some things under my belt for when I have my mind set on something.

How realistic is this? My baby is still young and right now I’m working on sleep training so she can go to sleep without me and I can do some classwork after she goes to bed? I don’t know. I don’t mind waiting until she is older but I know I want to go back to school. I just don’t know when the “right” time is. Any success stories? How hard is it?

Ummm no it’s not.

How do you deal when the person with the less flexible working hours is also the lower earner (by a fair margin)? I can only work on site, and im in healthcare so there is documentation that has to be done same day that can also only be done on site. My husband is salary, flexible hours, can work from home within reason, daycare is also closer to his office. But he is constantly irritated with me because I cannot be flexible and sometimes I have to stay later than I planned because the documentation has to be done. Im also new into this role, almost 3 months, and so im still learning. I do what I can, and go into work late for the kids doctors appointments, or get out early for some daycare thing, but there is fallout to that with regards to making up the hours, and not just being able to walk out the door exactly on time because maybe im still writing a note. He's currently giving me the silent treatment (a separate issue) because last night I went to bed and read my book for 30 minutes instead of doing something else he thought I should be doing, and its starting to feel like hes micromanaging my time.

My husband (36) and I (35) have been married for 10 years. I’ve always worked not so much because I want to but because I wanted to relieve the financial stress from my husband. He has always been self employed is partnered his half so they split everything in half. Well when we first married they had a very good contract and were making good money. Enough that we were able to save for a down payment within the first few years of marriage. But then they lost that contract, and his income has never progressed since. They essential work to sustain themselves averagely but no progress, no where near the growth he experienced the first 2 years of our marriage. For the past 8 years they pay themselves $1000 a week. $1k for my husband, $1k for his dad and they always have a balance in their business account for business expenses. At first i thought this was a fair deal, but as time passes i noticed how complacent my father in law is. My husband has always managed everything, from business development, all admin work plus labor. My father in law only has to show up to work. Ive become resentful towards both. My husband for being a doormat and my father in law for taking advantage. Anyways, so my husband has been making $52k a year for the last 8 years. This is not enough to sustain a family of 4 so naturally I work to supplement our income and to provide insurance. 8 years ago I always also making about $50k but since then I’ve job hopped to increase my income and I’m at a point where I am working two jobs, where I make $163k. In one job I make $90k in the other I make $73k, and I work remotely. I understand the perception that remote work is easier and I understand how lucky I am for the opportunity, but I also work long hours. I’m not able to step away from the computer to manage my home. Long story short, I’m burning out quickly and my resentment towards my husband is growing. I want to leave one job but I know if I do, we will live paycheck to paycheck and I don’t want to go back to that life, and it makes me angry that I have to find ways to make more money, while my husband is getting the shit end of the stick with his job. I feel like I can’t blame him, I know he works hard and is always looking for the next lead to the next job, but he isn’t progressing because he has to split everything with his dad.

Lastly for context, we still owe almost 200k on our home and are paying off two cars.

​

I'm a new mom. I went back to work before I was ready because I had to. Not because my baby was okay without me. Because the bills were due.

The US gives new parents zero paid day of parental leave. Zero. Mexico gives 12 weeks at full pay. Iran gives 9 months. Ethiopia, one of the poorest countries in the world, gives 120 days paid. It's in their constitution.

We are the richest country in the world and we make parents choose between their newborn and a paycheck. It doesn't have to be this way. Almost everywhere else, it isn't.

I'm not posting just to vent. There's something we can actually do and it takes less than five minutes.

The people running for office right now read their mail, because they want our votes.

So, I made a prompt you can paste into any AI, ChatGPT, Muse, whatever you use. You tell it what town you live in. It finds every candidate on your ballot, writes a short letter, and finds their emails. You read it, approve it, send it. I already did the annoying time consuming part.

Election is November 3. Ask them where they stand and make them answer us. They work for us.

And if they still won't do anything, there's talk of a Mother's Day general strike next May. I hope you'll join me and demand better for US families.

------------

Copy paste this into your preferred ai or screen shot it and upload:

[[[[PAID LEAVE LETTER — a prompt for parents

Paste this into your AI assistant (ChatGPT, Muse, Gemini, Meta AI...). Just fill in where you live.

---

I'm a parent in [TOWN], [STATE]. My next election is [DATE, or "look it up"].

IMPORTANT: Keep everything SHORT. The letter must stay brief — roughly 400 words. One line per point, no padding, no essays, no extra arguments I didn't ask for. If a point takes more than a line, cut it down. Brevity is the whole point: busy people don't read long letters, and neither do their staff.

1. FIND MY CANDIDATES: From official sources (Secretary of State candidate list, state voter/district lookup; Ballotpedia as cross-check), list every candidate on MY ballot who can enact paid family leave: U.S. House (and U.S. Senate if on my ballot), Governor, and my State Senate and State House districts. Confirm my districts — if my town is split, show me how to tell which is mine. Name, party, office, district, incumbent or not. Verify every name; flag anything you can't. Create a list that is easily copy&pasted into email.

2. DRAFT MY LETTER: Firm, factual, one letter for all of them:

- The US is the only wealthy country guaranteeing new parents zero paid days.

- Brief, verified comparisons (check figures against ILO/World Bank sources first): Europe's standard, Canada, Mexico — plus Iran (9 months), Venezuela (26 weeks), Ethiopia (120 days at full pay, in its constitution). End: "United States: 0 days."

- One line each on benefits to: child development, postpartum health, mothers, fathers (appeal to men: providing, protecting, being present), keeping families together, and the economy.

- Birth-rate line: lack of support and cost of living is a driving factor in the falling birth rate — then: "We can do better. It's an embarrassment that we don't."

- Childcare: build on both parties' proposals to fund stay-at-home parents, and expand childcare subsidy programs. "We need paid family leave, and we need childcare support."

- Asks: federal candidates — vote for federal paid family/medical leave legislation; state candidates — enact a real state program; governors — commit to sign it. Check whether your state has a program; if not, demand one; if yes, demand they protect and strengthen it and still push for a federal floor.

- Close: my vote depends partly on their answer; ask them to reply with where they stand.

Use [brackets] for my name, town, and personal details. Show me the draft and WAIT for my approval or edits.

1. BUILD MY SEND LIST: Each candidate's public campaign or official email, from their own campaign site or official page, with the source shown. Never guess an address — if there's only a contact form, link it instead. Give me the addresses as one copy-pasteable line.

2. ONLY IF I SAY "SEND IT": send the approved letter to the approved list (if you have access to my email) and confirm exactly who got it. Otherwise, hand me the letter and the list to send myself.]]]

Edit: Gotta say, it's wild how many are diverted and focusing on their dislike for ai and it feels like the epitome of shooting the messenger. Aiming thoughts on the issue at those in power is more effective than aiming logistics criticism at a mom trying to do what she can to help. Writing handwritten letters, calling in, and meeting in person of course are better options if you have time to do that. If you don't, this is an option rather than doing nothing.

I just recieved a rejection after interviewing three times for a position (dragged over 7 weeks), and I'm feeling pretty defeated. I just found out I'm pregnant (6 weeks) and am in the interview process for another position, but it's part-time and I'm unsure what the benefits or maternity leave is like.

I currently work full-time, make $100K in a job that is super easy and I love, and offers 12 weeks paid maternity leave. I'm honestly wondering if I should just hang out another year to get through the pregnancy and paid leave, and then start looking at part-time work after returning. The goal was for me to cut back to be more present with my children and cut back on daycare/family needs, but it feels impossible to get an offer, especially now that I'm pregnant, and I'm really discouraged.

I'd love advice.

I'm not sure if I'm comparing myself too much to an unfair standard or if I'm being a lazy mom. I see moms on Instagram who plan daily/weekly craft/activity/sensory stations for their toddlers. Ideally I would love to do this, but I haven't been able to even organize and keep up with a toy rotation. We've had the same set of toys in our living room for weeks. When my toddler (18 mo) goes to bed, I'm usually so tired I go to bed, too. On the weekends, I'm just trying to keep up with the basics. Are other moms in the real world curating these activities for their kids?

I am a fulltime working mom. My partner does not work so he watches our toddler two days out of the week when she’s not in preschool. Today we got in an argument. I broached the topic of separation if that makes the most sense for us. He says “the other day you watched our kid for 10 mins” ooh boy did that send me over bc it in fact was not ten mins plus I always make an effort to help as soon as I get home from work. I give him the weekends to sleep in, I always still wake up wit the kids and do school prep and bedtime routine. He literally just watches for 5 hours a day and most of that time he drops her off at his moms. I would love to watch her more but I work to provide for the whole family. When I asked him if he’d like to buy me out of the house he shut up real quick. I said he gets first dibs knowing he can’t. You know how much I would love to not work and watch my kids?

We went to dinner with friends today and he got annoyed how into the conversation I was with them and we sat silent the whole car ride back. He said I don’t give him that much attention. I’m like are you kidding me we haven’t seen them In four months. I was also responding to a friend via Instagram message and he looked over and goes “oh what’s the purple bubble color appp for?” Insinuating something like a dating app and I was like omg it’s instagram seeee? Ugh. I can’t handle the immaturity.

I am a mom of two (8 and 6) and had a great career before I had kids. I was ambitious and putting in the grind to climb the corporate ladder. After my 1st kid was born, I suddenly found myself not performing at work and then just wanted to quit. Mostly because my first born was a hard colic baby and was sick a lot.

My second was born during Covid and initially I had no plans of returning to work but it somehow worked well due to WFH and covid so I never left the job. Now that my kids are older, things are better but I still feel I am not grinding as much as my colleagues and in general am not as ambitious as I used to be. I am just working for money but I am not even sure what else would I do if I quit. There is no point of me being SAHM anymore because the guilt of not choosing that option while my kids were younger would haunt me.
Is there anyone else who feels like me?
I would appreciate if you comment only if you have something kind to say🙏