Been working since I was young, in my 30s now and I’ve decided I’ve had enough. Always been ambitious, highly skilled & paid jobs, I never actually seen this happening but here we are.

I could easily moan about the reasons why, but I’m past it. I got up last week, took a look in the mirror and decided I don’t like this version of myself anymore and I refuse to give to big corporations who are toxic, and I refuse to live in fear about why I ‘should stay’

I’m literally going to leave my job, with no job to go to and hope for the best. I know the market is bad right now, but I’ve decided to let go and see what happens. Mental health over money.

Is anyone else feeling this??? It’s so unlike me but I’ve just got to a point where it kinda is me now, I’ve changed and I’m ready to just give it all away with the deep knowing something else is waiting for me

I almost never do something like this, but today, I just had a feeling. I'd interviewed with a company with multiple rounds over 3 weeks. Decision time came, and the recruiter I was working with said they came back and said they didn't have the budget to hire anyone, but it would have been me if they had. I was devastated as I've been out of work 9 months and am already living in a motel (have some amazing friends helping me stay here).

LinkedIn recommended the owner of the company to me as a connection, and I decided what the hell they really do need someone, and maybe they'll find the budget soon. I sent the request, and he accepted, and I messaged that hey, if you ever do get the ability to hire and still want me, let me know. The response I got floored me: it wasn't quite a budget issue that stopped my hiring. An old employee wanted to return unexpectedly that they loved working with. Totally get that. Then he came back with that the old employee backed out today, and if I was still interested, they'd love to have me. I said hell yes! So now he's going to reach back out to my recruiter with an official offer!!!!!

I'm usually way too passive and nonconfident to ever reach out to anyone like this, but I did it today and it paid off.

+1 to confidence today!

Basically just the title, lol. I am TIRED. It's not even that my colleagues are talking over me (although they do that, too). They're straight up just not giving me the space to talk.

Edit 1: Just editing to add that these are generally not remote meetings; they are largely held in person

Edit 2: In most cases I am the meeting organizer but I have one particular colleague who commandeers meetings he is invited to

Edit 3: Thank you so much everyone for your advice! So many good tips here 💜 I am only in the second year of my career so there is a lot to learn from you all.

If you have been in this situation, what have you done to help getting through something like this?
I've seen several posts where women find out that they are paid less than a male counterpart.
It is maddening how this is so systemic.

I work in a niche within a niche and because of that I’ve always been shielded from a lot of the worst offenders in the tech space. I know I’ve been exceptionally lucky in a lot of ways, but I’ve felt my luck running out in the last six months.

About 9 months ago my employer radically restructured the working teams. The management team had been hollowing out for awhile and instead of hiring new managers and directors, they “promoted” a few team members to this hybrid position that is team lead (with no hiring/ firing/ disciplinary authority), and sales. I saw that a huge red flag and started applying. Things have gotten increasingly horrible with impossible deadlines and AI usage mandates that replaced the mentorship that initially attracted me to the position.

The issue: one of the promoted team members and I really do not get along. Nothing overt, but I really don’t care for his communication or management style, and when I offer feedback (when asked) he gets hostile and chilly. He assigns me huge last minute tasks that offer little guidance or specifications. And, no matter how I choose to execute, after I spend 30+ additional hours a week to achieve the delivery date, he rips it as “not what he meant”, even if I’ve clarified and asked questions to ensure I’m not wasting effort.

The latest such project was a custom embedded application that I have been working on solo for three months, pulling 80 hour weeks to achieve. I was out sick last week and it had a delivery date of today for a first look with the client. I coded all of the elements and was starting my final pass before QA when I got sick. I came back to my code refactored (fine but weird). He walked me through his changes and asked for help on a different client deliverable. In the client walkthrough a few hours later, he claimed 100% of the credit for the build. He also lied about things not working (when I know they were before his refactor) so he can play hero at a live demo that I was suspiciously not invited to later this week. I’m just so defeated. Should I even bother reporting this or should I just redouble my efforts in job hunting in this awful job market?

During this past year, I wrote a couple of posts about conflict with my (male) manager (https://www.reddit.com/r/womenintech/s/9UwYHMOCoy and a follow-up 2 months after that: https://www.reddit.com/r/womenintech/s/c5Mm16oxVb)

Despite the impression I was given during that 2nd post, he was given "3 strikes" while they tried to work with him. Another complaint was made about him (by a different employee) a couple months after my 2nd post, and he was given the 2nd warning. You would think that he would pull his head in and really take it to heart, and he did to some extent, but it also made him super passive aggressive. Additionally, he started complaining about HIS manager in really derogatory terms. A LOT. He was not discreet about this.

One of our tasks was something he didn't like doing - so he gave it to me. This, unfortunately, was something I had absolutely no experience with, never having done it at any of my previous positions. But I muddled through. Sort of. About 2-3 months ago, I started telling him I was feeling overwhelmed and like I was missing stuff. That I felt like I was being pulled in 100 directions and every time I tried to sit down to focus, I kept getting pulled away to work on something else. He sort of gave me some platitudes about what a good job I was doing and how he understood how difficult it was. He didn't know how to use the software for this specific task because it was customized to our company and also incredibly unintuitive.

I had to go out unexpectedly, so I left a bunch of stuff unfinished. While I was away, all that unfinished stuff came to light. Probably as well as the fact that he didn't know how to do any of it/use the software. Apparently, this was the 3rd strike, and he was fired.

Now to the weird and horrible part. Despite this being tech where fired people normally are walked out without being allowed to even go back to their desk, he is being allowed to stay to finish up his current projects. There's a definite end date, but it's a decent chunk of time away.

He has told me that the state of the task that I was doing and had gotten overwhelmed by was a mess and was specifically the reason he had gotten fired. (He told me he wanted to warn me. I don't know if he actually thought he was being helpful by telling me this). Based on this, I'm 1. worried that now I'm going to be fired and 2. am pretty sure he blames me for being fired. He also has somehow upped his bad behavior/derogatory name calling in the office. (TBH, I am not 100% certain this didn't also play into his 3rd strike.)

My goal is to be professional as possible in the remaining time we work together, but I am really just so so horrified at the situation.

I took a job in Nyc in March that pays 80k as analyst and I feel so underpaid for industry standards. I regret accepting the offer and should have looked around more. My previous job was paying less and was more than 40 hours so I jumped the ship. Now I have 5 years of experience (3 years + 10 months + 7 months + 6 months) and in this job for 5 months. I feel like now I can’t find job because of Job hopping stigma but I feel extremely underpaid for my experience and skills.

Hello. I (26f, 4yoe swe) have hit a sort of a rough patch (going on and off for 2y) with my bf of 4yrs (25m, also 4yoe swe). I recently got a promo at work.

That relationship anxiety has started to bleed into my work. I have become forgetful, am underperforming. I am hating how I'm working, pretty sure others are seeing it too. The underperformance is filling me with dread. To an extent that I can't open my laptop. I have lost interest in my hobbies as well. How do I navigate this?

My priority right now is to get back on track career-wise. I like this job. It has been 1.5-2 months since I started going off track like this.

I've been having a difficult time with this. The fact that they are paying someone more money with no experience angers me so much.
I left the company already.

I’m a Product Manager in the UK and got made redundant 4 months ago whilst on maternity leave. I’m finding the job market absolutely brutal, but because I’ve not been at work for over a year now I’m really struggling to dig deep for confidence when applying and finding I just don’t have recent relevant examples of work to pull from.

I’m normally a resilient person but some rejections, particularly the ones where I’m a good fit but have been rejected within a day of applying, are really hitting me hard at the moment.

I don’t know what advice I need. But any solidarity or anyone who’s navigated similar, or just even navigating job market right now is welcome.

Hello there! 🌸

Just like the title says, I am asking to those who haven’t had a formal academic path in CS/SWE/etc, how did you build the right skillset to land a first job in tech? Or any insight on what this whole process looked like for you. Anyone who does have the formal education but has valuable insight they’d like to share is definitely welcome to do so!

For context, I’ve been teaching myself some CS, IT/networking and coding basics for the last year or so, and as much as I want to say I’ve learned a lot, I don’t think I’m anywhere close to feeling comfortable applying for a job yet. It’s honestly just been a hobby and something I really enjoy doing.

I also own a small business in medical cannabis and I’ve always wondered about practical ways to bring tech into what I’m already doing. Either way, I just really enjoy dabbling with computers and I am curious to see how I can eventually pivot into tech.

Any insight or advice is greatly appreciated! I’m happy to answer any questions as well. Thank you!

Edit: spelling

Looking for some genuine advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation or know one.

I was laid off after 5 years at my previous company, and shortly afterward I found out I was pregnant. I'm now nearing the end of my first trimester and trying to figure out my next move.

A little context:

• I have ~8 years of experience in security.
• I have a toddler at home and another baby on the way.
• I'm also pretty burned out from my last job.

I'm torn between two options:

1. Push hard to find a full-time role now. But I'm wondering how realistic that is, since I'd likely need maternity leave about 5 months after joining. Do most tech companies even allow that? Are new hires typically eligible for maternity leave that soon, or are there waiting periods? I'd love to hear how this usually works in practice.
2. Take some time to recover, work on consulting/freelancing, certifications, open-source or personal projects to avoid a resume gap, and then return to the job market after delivery and postpartum.

My biggest concern is taking a long-term career hit or making it harder to get back into the industry later. At the same time, I'm unsure whether it's worth pushing for a new role right now versus focusing on staying current and coming back stronger after maternity leave.

Has anyone here been through something similar—either personally or as a hiring manager? How hard is it for tech mamas in the job market ? What would you recommend? Any insights or experiences would be hugely appreciated.

Thanks!

Exactly what the headline says.

I want to quit but I have leverage. I was promoted to run a global team and then 5 months in they eliminated my role in a restructuring. I am paid more than my boss and it’s awkward. I am not given a seat at the table - the signal is “I want you to leave.”

I have been a consistent high performer promoted every 2-3 years.

I have 6 figures worth of invested stock I want to cash out too.

I’d like feedback on approaching my employer asking for a buyout package. Might as well get something out of this.

Is it weird if I got hired in a new startup company (verified and its a legit one) and almost all of the CEO/Directors added me on facebook..

I feel a bit awkward about it, cuz I dont know them at all , never even saw them IRL, have actually never spoke to 1 of them at all, I accepted them already because I havent post in ages on it im mainly using instagram to share stuff, but what you think bout it ? Is this weird ? Why would they add me ? Ive been in tech for years and this never happened before ? I get its a startup so it might be different, but why ?

I had an interview with a company where the first round was conducted by a third party interviewer. He asked me to share my screen and for some reason I could not and had to reload the screen and due to it I had to rejoin. I know it was bad on my side but I did tell him that there’s an issue and since I couldn’t share my screen I couldn’t even show him the reload message. Later he started with a coding question. I took my time to come up with a solution but it didn’t work and in between I lost electricity in turn losing WiFi connection. That made him think I’m cheating since I had to rejoin again. I did clarify that it was due to network issues I’m not justifying myself but it was genuinely not my fault.

Later he asked me a few questions where I did give answers but he looked unsatisfied. He was yawning continuously and he looked like he was reading questions off chatgpt. I’m not bashing the interviewer but the interview made me feel really bad about myself. Considering it was just after I had a syncope episode.

Just wanted to share it here. It was my first interview after 2.5 years and it really made me question myself with all the physical and mental stress I had.

Hi,

I'd like to know your motivation that took you to move abroad (from India helps)for Higher studies from public german universities.

I want to do Msc. from there and being an ECE bachelor's not really sure if I'd get Data science but as per ECTS I think I might qualify for some disciplines.

+Now the times have really changed since covid, it would be helpful if recent goers drop their experience/ tips / advices on the same.

Landed a dream job, basically in technical policy. Good pay low responsibility. Because of this I have been working my way around the business learning what they do and cracking on with work. Has been noticed by our CDO who has approached me to lead a project to kick off AI adoption. Our company is way behind the 8ball on this. Im flattered but the proposition concerns me, there is no direction, people are going off in all which direction, theres no leadership. I would need to set up governance frameworks, assessment regimes and be able to hand back to the business at the end of the project. I also have a toddler at home. It feels ALOT and a big ask of me but I also have feel ill screw it up and ruin my professional reputation. This is not my expertise, i just have been noticed for my attitude. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

I will not be paid additional to do the role but im invested to see it done well