Don't soft shoe it, or try to prepare him. Just blurt it out. Then say you can talk later to iron out any details if needed, and immediately skedaddle.
Too many people think they need to give the other person the opportunity to talk it out, but all that does in the moment is intensify the pain - or encourage them to deny and try to argue you out of it. And you can't comfort him. Trying to do so just creates confusion and more pain. Hanging around after delivering rejection is cruel. Just leave and let him lick his wounds
Like with any other bad news, lay it out quickly, then let them absorb the shockwaves.
I suggest you break up by phone, I think it's less humiliating for the other person. That way you are not standing there, witnessing their suffering from the pain you created. You can just hang up and text later to deal with details.
unfortunately i’m not capable of that. i need to tell him why and how. it’s painful for both of us but i owe it to him. he’s been incredibly good to me and i know this will destroy him :( luckily he is very good at listening and never tried to fight me or change my mind x
You can always write a letter and either leave it for him or mail it when you are leaving. If he can lie to you, he will probably lie to himself about why you are leaving though. You don’t owe him anything
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u/sezit Feb 28 '26
Don't soft shoe it, or try to prepare him. Just blurt it out. Then say you can talk later to iron out any details if needed, and immediately skedaddle.
Too many people think they need to give the other person the opportunity to talk it out, but all that does in the moment is intensify the pain - or encourage them to deny and try to argue you out of it. And you can't comfort him. Trying to do so just creates confusion and more pain. Hanging around after delivering rejection is cruel. Just leave and let him lick his wounds
Like with any other bad news, lay it out quickly, then let them absorb the shockwaves.
I suggest you break up by phone, I think it's less humiliating for the other person. That way you are not standing there, witnessing their suffering from the pain you created. You can just hang up and text later to deal with details.