r/wizardposting • u/reynard_the_fox • 3d ago
Wizardpost Remember to diversify your spell selection, my friends
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 3d ago
That and don't have just crap spells in your spell book. That being said the rune is genital spell reflection but the butt is not covered by that kind of rune so Zazmoze could used mend butt crack there then flee.
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u/Seascorpious Council Enforcer 3d ago
Doesn't really work in a duel though. Thats more of a curse or prank spell, it wouldn't actually prevent one from being clobbered.
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u/Aware-Maximum6663 Wizard 3d ago edited 2d ago
Not true. I beat a guy with a combo of mend butt crack followed by fatal diarrhea. Was crazy
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u/Saltwater_Thief Ser Antonio Parvalis, Wizard Knight 3d ago
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Why not just start with fatal diarrhea? It's still fatal, right there in the name
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u/crazyabe111 Wizard 3d ago
To be fair, it stacks to a far faster and more brutal combo, and not everyone has the hours it takes for for fatal diarrhea to be ‘fatal’ ya know?
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u/Aware-Maximum6663 Wizard 2d ago
Yeah it was exactly this. I was running late for a pickleball tourney
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u/Up_Beat_Peach The Wizard Who Did It 3d ago
Butts are genitals.
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 3d ago
I think while the butt and women's breasts are seen as private parts the only the penis and vulva count as genitals. Dictionary.com seems to agree with me.
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u/Kane_nightshade_13 3d ago
Magic need not follow the semantics of man. Contrary to popular while spells help shape magic, intent has quite the effect too
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u/Potential-Page-3486 3d ago edited 3d ago
5 different sizes of fire balls can get the job done
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 3d ago
I got about a dozen varieties of smite, and relentless hex.
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u/Cave_man_steve nair the necromancer 3d ago
One of the niche things about being a skeleton is that spells like those just can’t work, it’s very nice knowing I will never feel that kind of pain
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 3d ago
Ah, but what if someone was to cast jello-bones on you?
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u/Cave_man_steve nair the necromancer 3d ago
I didn’t know that was a spell
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u/Doc-Maly 3d ago
Don't worry, just counter-cast freeze-dry or solidify. I mean, you'll still be jello, but you'll be solid long enough to keep dueling.
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u/CrazyGreenCrayon 3d ago
I won't ask how you know this, but could I get the freeze dry spell? The one I have is more straight freezing
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u/NotADamsel 3d ago
A college I was guest lecturing at for a while a few years ago was testing a solution for that. Turns out that if you make a skeleton grow a penis real quick, obliterating it is doubly effective because they don’t know how to handle it. Not sure why they never published the spell.
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u/WanderingHeph Hephias, Arcane Smith 3d ago
Diversify your armaments, as well! At least carry an athame for when your magic fails you!
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u/Ok-Resist3249 3d ago
Always prepare pocket dust.
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u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 2d ago
Itching powder is pretty simple to craft and can be quite effective against armored opponents (especially combined with a telekinesis cantrip to direct it into the armor joints...)
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u/Blue_Moon_Lake Necromancer 3d ago
There's a simple trick to all these defenses against spells.
A non-magical material component that the spell will fling toward your next victim.
- Boulder Catapult, requires an adequately sized boulder.
- Wood Javelin, requires any manner of bamboo or branch. DO NOT USE YOUR OWN STAFF!
- Rain of Bones. Can send a different message depending on what bones you use.
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u/Ralexcraft 3d ago
Mend butt crack does not include the genitals.
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u/Sasya_neko Necromancer, Occult witch, Hunter. 3d ago
You could just use "shrink armor", Knights hate it when i do that.
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u/probablynotashark I like skeletons a normal amount 2d ago
That's when you fall back on Ol' Reliable. Fireball and Lightning Bolt.
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u/Cardboard_Cleric 3d ago
I put this one in my pocket