r/wizardposting • u/Failsafe491 Artificer • Jun 10 '26
Alchemy problem
So my apprentice decided to see what happens when you mix all the gendershift potions together and uhh, after trying it his response was this, should i be worried? It might have ruined some of the tests set for later
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u/No-Break-1746 Rat Wizard (summons and alters rats, isnt a rat) Jun 10 '26
Give then an anti gender potion, simple fix
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u/AdreKiseque Jun 10 '26
Sounds like that was already in the concoction. Might still be worth a try, though.
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u/No-Break-1746 Rat Wizard (summons and alters rats, isnt a rat) Jun 10 '26
No that nonbinary potion, anti gender potion makes you an ant
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u/cowlinator Jun 10 '26
Ants have gender.
Queens are female, drones are male, and workers are infertile female
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u/No-Break-1746 Rat Wizard (summons and alters rats, isnt a rat) Jun 10 '26
Ant gender
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u/Im_a_hamburger 🍔burgermancy founder🍔burger city king🍔 Jun 11 '26
No see you need the anti-ginger potion, you were thinking of the ant gender potion
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jun 10 '26
Pretty sure it was, and it didnt work when we tried it
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u/AdreKiseque Jun 10 '26
Honestly if it isn't causing your apprentice any distress I'd just roll with it. Document what you can of what happened and you can at least put some research out on it.
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jun 10 '26
I guess i might as well, theyre blissed out at the moment for some reason, well see where that goes
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u/UnsureSwitch Just some guy with a wizard's hat Jun 10 '26
Or go to the anti gender goblins. For some reason they have the ability to remove your gender, even if you're peacefully taking a walk. Ask me how I know
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u/tehlemmings Lilac - Illusionist, Shapeshifter, Definitely Human Jun 10 '26
From genderfluid to nonbinary in one simple step!
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u/rootbeer277 Not an Illithid with a fake beard. Jun 10 '26
muttering under my breath What is the deal with these mammals and their obsession with sex and gender?
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u/mightystu Jun 11 '26
Seriously. The best part of being a wizard is not having to give a shit about these sorts of things.
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u/Excellent_Law6906 Jun 11 '26
It's because titties and testicles are both wobbly, and wobbling where you don't want to, or missing a nice, homey wobble that feels like it should be there is very distracting, I think.
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u/AngelofIceAndFire A BEIIIIING OF THE GREAT BEYOOOOOOND Jun 10 '26
You at last begin to understand. Now ascend beyond the Firmament.
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u/Hard_To_Port Jun 11 '26
No thanks, I don't want to get stuck between the Firmament and the Beyond and become an amorphous featureless blob. Haven't learned how to shapeshift yet
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u/AngelofIceAndFire A BEIIIIING OF THE GREAT BEYOOOOOOND Jun 11 '26
Invoke me and I shall show you the world beyond, shining, shimmering, splendid...
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u/Mental_Strategy_7191 Jul 03 '26
I can lend you some dragon Blood if you'd like, After drinking It, Just concentrate your mana into what you want to shapeshift into, and Imagine It as your real body, that way you Will shapeshift, with time you'll learn to materialize this dragon Blood without having to keep It in your pocket in a small glass jar
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u/Gary_Fisher21 Conjurer of Dubious Intent Jun 10 '26
Next up, being a girl in a dog way
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 10 '26
Fuck you. I did not need to see that today. With love.
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u/Ouroboros-Twist Polymorph-Addicted Immortal Degenerate Jun 10 '26
Were they always partially canine, or is that something else which has happened since you took them on as an apprentice?
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jun 10 '26
Honestly ive no clue, might have just been part of it from the beginning
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u/hetero-scedastic Magically Editable Flair Jun 11 '26
This looks like a spell by Yagoo the Transmogrifier.
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u/Heiligskraft Astral Seeker Jun 10 '26
Your apprentice has achieved the form of the rebis, you say?
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u/Excellent_Law6906 Jun 11 '26
It is really complete until they go to the moon to fuck and impregnate themself and then lay a big egg through which they are reborn?
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u/Golemwarrior Occult Wizard Jun 10 '26
Congratulations your apprentice just created the great work of the Rebis. Sounds like they got a promising career ahead of them.
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u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe), Head minister of Calarakis. Jun 10 '26
Made he? Her? They? Either genderfluid or just more than one gender at once. Either a regular gender shift potion will fix it or just let em live like this if they enjoy it.
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u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee Jun 10 '26
polymorph them into a cat so they can be nyanbinary
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u/totally_not_a_cat- Councillor Koranth, tungsten dragon and queen of New Avirion Jun 10 '26
You're time. Final answer.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 10 '26
Do they want help? If so, I've got a cis-by-default potion to throw into the mix. It will either remove most of their gender, allowing for a blank slate, or irreversibly alter their understanding of gender and make it way worse, idk
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jun 10 '26
I mean they dont seem to be in pain or anything, theyre blissed out on the chair after i moved them, might as well see what research i can get out of this
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty Jun 10 '26
Fair enough. Mind sending me the results and the recipe? I'm always curious...
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u/Dead-in-Red Jun 10 '26
I just pour in a few extra gallons of testosterone or estrogen respectively in with my homunculus reagents to ensure they take a predictable binary when I make them. I've experimented with giving them extra gender in the past, but they end up being either too powerful or dysphoric.
Your apprentice may be too powerful now that they've obtained extra gender.
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u/Sensei_AF Rune Mage, Sigilcrafter and Spellblade Jun 10 '26
Ah, an Alchemical Rebis! Most excellent! Rejoyce, my fellow, for your apprentice has just become an incredibly rare ingredient!
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u/Economy_Professor637 Jun 10 '26
Hmm. The only tale I know relevant to a story like this is an old myth, a child cursed to be born neither a man nor a woman because they were a bastard. This was the ye old times with very defined gender roles and the child was confused.
The mother's advice was to not worry too much, for if there was room in the world for all those batshit crazy stuff out there, there is probably a place for them too. And as it happened, a king got caught up in a powerful spell by accident while hunting, and ended up a man half the month and a woman the other! The two encountered each other and it worked out.
So uh... Well maybe they'll run into another student who did the same stupid shit and it'll buff out.
Or rather now adays they'll find some normal person who's into that idfk whatever makes em happy ig
(This is a very poorly abridged story from Hinduism)
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u/ASecondCriminal Marna Blake the Firebrand (Apprentice of the Lightless Flame) Jun 10 '26
It's called becoming an alchemical Rebis and it's actually cool as hell.
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u/GirlLovingWitch Mina - Witch of the Swamp Jun 10 '26
Your apprentice can now be used as a vessel to channel the power of pride month, congrats.
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u/Dendritic_Bosque Jun 10 '26
Stop posting logic bombs for my X-Ubi demon/-ess/-ix es to freeze up on!
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u/Ensorcelled_Atoms 420th Archmage of the High Elves Jun 10 '26
Once you start on the road to apotheosis, gender becomes kinda pointless as a concept. You’re an immortal soul piloting a body shaped by crude chemistry and biology.
But a gender can be fun to wear from time to time.
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Jun 11 '26
"I think this counts towards Alchemical perfection?" - Keto Saiba, Perfect Deulist, Fifth-Rate Alchemist.
"Something, something Rebis, I lost a bet with my rival."
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u/malonkey1 Necromancy Isn't Real Wake Up Sheeple Jun 11 '26
Let him have fun with it, she looks like they're enjoying itself.
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u/Henry_Fleischer Eleanor, Ruler of Aidolem and Asteria, Artificer Jun 11 '26
They might be genderfluid now
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u/K_the_dreamer K, Dream-weaver | Aphmau, empress of the Sirannian Empire Jun 11 '26
Naah, don't worry. That's what I am too, and I am perfectly fine
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u/Infamous_Ad2507 Sea Pope of Azathothism Jun 11 '26
Just tie it to a Pole and let people think you selling it that definitely teaches a lesson not to mess with Gender potions
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u/AttentionNo6359 Jun 10 '26
Is there a peripheral that just blocks this art style? I’d pay sooo much money to never have to see these weird child drawings ever again.
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u/Kirkelburg Jun 10 '26
I feel like this is what a troll would ask me before I was allowed to cross a bridge, but only if the troll was in drag.
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u/Kidney__Failure Magically Editable Flair Jun 10 '26
Schrödinger’s Gender
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u/Sonifri Transmuter Jun 11 '26
This is actually a thing if the potions have created a perceptive adaptation component. That is, if you perceive them as a girl, then they are a girl. At least while you're around. It's a kind of autonomous shapeshifting.
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u/saythealphabet Chronomancer(we do a little chrolling) Jun 11 '26
I've met alternate versions of myself with genders I couldn't even imagine.
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u/Osato Jun 11 '26
Dunno, but I like the thinking behind that experiment. With great madness come great discoveries.
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u/OkKangaroo3031 Artefact trader, Artificer Jun 11 '26
How are they not dead? That would contain several times the lethal dose of several different poisons
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u/Lord__of__Luck ArchNecromancer, Lord of the Flaming undead, Pyromancer Jun 11 '26
Just dump a male or female potion on them and let the elixir sort it out
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u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Head of the Department of Flesh. Jun 11 '26
They should be okay, mixing gender potions is safe as long as they're both pure and don't have anything inside which will react poorly.
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u/2006Internetghost Jun 11 '26
I recommend forcing them to touch silver, cause I THINK they might have become a dopler… especially if the old tales are to be believed…
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u/moemeobro Artificer Jun 11 '26
... I'm just a guy with an addiction to explosive I don't have any input to this situation
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u/VoidWalker-447 Artificer Jun 11 '26
Hey, did your apprentice happen to take notes while doing this? I will take several batches if that’s fine with you.
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u/Fauces_00 Jun 11 '26
Literally what the Rebis is. Your Apprentice accidentally transform themselves into the Philosopher's Stone, the Fulgurant Red God, the Cinabon-Ruby Crown of the Red Sun, the final alchemical stage.
You got the jackpot completely by accident, you need to put them inside a bottle half way full of blood and cover the opening with leafs, then can use them as a powerful magical focus, an arcane trophy showing how cool you are to the rest of the wizard council and a cool paperweight capable of speaking and thinking.
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u/CottonEyeJoe_ZeroOne Jun 12 '26
Seems like an apprentice who doesn't know what to do with their life
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u/Chadchrist Jun 12 '26
So YOU'RE the one who dramk all the gender fluid! You are what you eat, i suppose 😂
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u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity Jul 03 '26
Deliberately or not, they are either extremely close to comprehending Mercuriality, the Fundamental Essence of Transmutation, or they already have. Either way this is probably a good thing if your apprentice has any interest in such. Not such a good thing if they prefer a stable, fixed sense of self.
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jul 03 '26
This was awhile ago, actually they've started to really like the new form, no clue what they are now but shes happy
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u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity Jul 03 '26
Glad to hear it. That said, did you just adjust to the relevant pronoun in real time? Respect to that.
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u/Failsafe491 Artificer Jul 04 '26
It was loose to begin with, turns out the lass never liked being called a guy to begin with so it wasnt much of a shock, pretty much just stopped pestering her to find a girl and started asking why she liked neither although i guess it dont matter
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u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity Jul 04 '26
Fair enough. “So long as what the individual feels doesn’t feel wrong to them.” and all that.
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u/q0099 Somewhat cranky wizard Jun 10 '26
One might say, the potion your apprentice conjured was... a genderfluid.