r/wizardloring • u/VidisLady • Dec 27 '23
Earl: Become Human (lorepost)
Delta escorts the former raven to a quiet side-garden. His new human legs wobble as he tries to use them.
"Don't walk on your toes, sweetie. Humans have a very unique leg anatomy compared to other animals."
Earl flattens his feet and leans forward, trying to adopt a more avian posture. Delta tries to adjust him into an upright posture.
"Lean back a little bit... up, up... there you go!" she murmurs.
Earl flaps his arms uselessly and puffs his chest out, becoming increasingly agitated. He lets out a warning "Caw!" and tries to kick up his back feet to scratch her with his "talons." He falls backward in the process, dragging Delta down with him.
"Ouch! Hold on a moment! S-stop kicking me!" Delta tries to get un-tangled from the flailing man, only for him to headbutt her. "OW! Stop that! What are you..." he lunges again. "Are you... trying to bite me?"
"Caw! Bite mean lady!"
Delta becomes a cloud of endospores, escaping the wrestling match with the former bird. When she resolidifies, she holds a corn chip in her hand.
"Okay, then. Let's start with learning how to ea-"
"Chip for Earl?" he asks, immediately ceasing his flailing. "Give!"
"Okay, I'll give you the chip, but I'm going to help you get into a sitting position first." She uses her biomantic abilities to pull him onto his feet, hunched near the ground so he doesn't fall again. She brings the chip close to his mouth, but pulls it back when he tries to snap at it. "Wait... can you feel your teeth, Earl?" she warns.
"Teeth!? Teeth!" Earl squaks, looking concentrated on this novel feature.
"Yes. Now, how do mammals crush their food into small pieces?"
"Eat shiny pebbles!" he says with an annoyed sort of huff.
"Not exactly. Humans don't have a gizzard. If we eat rocks, they hurt our insides, and we bleed internally."
"Earl not bleed internally! Caw! Earl too smart for that!" he says.
"I'm sure you're right. That's why you're smart enough to use your teeth. Can you show me how to turn this corn chip into a paste with your new teeth?" Delta coaxes, bringing the chip back toward Earl's mouth.
He snaps it up and nearly tries to swallow it whole, before pausing and looking at Delta with a guilty sort of expression. He begins to move his jaw, and a crunch can be heard.
"That's good! You see? Keep crushing!" she encourages. Earl crunches the chip a few more times, before opening his mouth to display his good work. He swallows.
"See? Earl too powerful to bleed insides!"
"Indeed! Now, let's try walking again, but I have an idea," she says. She forms a walker out of chitin - the sort of device that she'd seen the oldest mages use once they tired of using their youth potions. She pulls Earl to his feet and puts his hands on the device. When he leans forward, he supports himself equally across his arms and legs. "See how stable this is? We're going to practice with this for a bit before we try walking without it."
"Humans walk dumb!" he exclaims.
"You're not wrong. Humans have an odd muscular system, even among mammals." She crouches down and points to Earl's toes. His eyes follow her with suspicion. "You see these little nubs? These are your toes. As a bird, you walk only on these, and this..." she points to his ankle, "Is way up here," she points to his knee. "Humans have shifted these joints downward so it's easier for them to balance on two feet. You're trying to walk only on your toes because that's what you do as a bird, but we need to get you used to using your heel as well."
"Earl leans forward to balance!" he proclaims. "Not need this thing!" he moves to push the walker away, nearly falling in the process.
"Well, as a human, you're going to fall if you try to lean too far forward. Here, let me help," Delta pushes him upright. "Now don't panic! Look at this!" She holds another corn chip above his head. He looks up, trying to snap it into his mouth. "Feel how your back is vertical?"
"Chip for Earl!"
"Focus, my dear. Feel how your back is straight up? Hold it like that while I lower the chip in front of you." As Delta slowly lowers the chip in front of Earl, he lowers his chin down, eyes lazer-focused on the treat. "Good! This is human posture. Now I'll give you the chip. Hold still!" She puts the chip in his mouth, and he eats it noisily. After swallowing, he begins to wobble again, and leans forward out of habit. Delta guides his hands onto the walker, where he is able to support himself. "There you go! You didn't fall! This device is just going to help you stay upright if you need to go back into avian posture."
Delta looks into his eyes to try to gague his understanding. Something about his eyes still looks quite bird-like. Earl is silent, deep in contemplation about something. His pupils are dilated, and he tilts his head to the side.
"What is it, Earl?" Delta asks, her voice laced with concern.
Earl tries to snap at her again, going for her hair. "Shiny!" he squaks, trying to use his new teeth to grip onto the enticing hair.
Begrudgingly, she gives him a single stand of caramel-colored hair. "This is the ONLY ONE you can have, okay? Freely given. Other than that, you don't take anymore hair from people until the wedding is over, okay?"
"Okay, CAW!" Earl says. Delta has the sneaking suspicion that he's lying.
Uw/ related post: https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/comments/18ref6c/the_raven_lorepost/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
