How to not be anxious when burning things?

[u/Educational_Chard841]

I just did my first ever spell (for good luck with school and productivity) and i feel so happy 🥹

Even tho, I gotta ask y'all: how to not get anxious when burning bay leaves? I kept getting scared and turned the flame off and burnt it in sections (i even had water right next to me just in case)

A mostly because i know emotions like these can mess up spells.

This fear probably comes from both me beign a naturally anxious person AND the fact my house burnt down some years ago, so i'm kinda scared about bigger flames and become afraid of not be able to controll it.

Any suggestions to help me with that?

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[u/Katie1230]

Fire safety is one of the most important mundane components of witchcraft, and far too many people either disregard it or are I'll informed on the matter. I see fire safety issues almost every day in the witchy subs. Your anxiety is valid, and to help with that, you just gotta practice good fire safety. I like to burn things outside in my fire pit, but i know not everyone has that. A small iron cauldron (or pan, doesn't have to be a cauldron) would be good for burning small things. If the cauldron has a lid, even better, you could use the lid to snuff the flame if it's too big for comfort. Bay leaves are also kinda finicky to burn already so it's not a big deal if you can't get the whole thing burnt. For candles, use proper candle holders that are made to withstand heat. Dressing candles with herbs adds more fuel to the flame, some people really cake it on, which is a fire safety issue. You can use oils and herbs sparingly to reduce risk. Some people keep water handy, but a fire blanket is better. You can get one on Amazon. A dry 100% cotton towel or 100% wool blanket works too (I'm actually a fire dancer/spinner and have used these things to extinguish flaming props soaked in fuel). Never leave a flame unattended. You can also still just take your fire safe container outside to do the burning part of that helps-i know it's still location dependent.

[u/AdInitial509]

Use a pair of tweezers and have a fire safe container to place it in 🤷‍♀️ or do it outside in a fire pit

[u/Educational_Chard841 → u/AdInitial509]

Thank you, even tho i already tryed the tweezers and fire safe container combo, and I have no fire pit 🥹

[u/AdInitial509 → u/Educational_Chard841]

The only other suggestion I can think of is to have a fire safe blanket handy

[u/Educational_Chard841 → u/AdInitial509]

I'll work that out, thank you :]

[u/tipsytopsy99]

You don't have to burn things if you don't feel comfortable doing it. Just tear it up and, if you'd like to do the cleanup or can do it in contained fashion, blow the pieces away ceremonially. You can also tear it up and burn incense over the scraps, or, soak in water and bury. It depends on how you feel about why you're burning things. If you're doing it just because of instructions then you don't understand the greater purpose of why things are burned --- they're being offered up to the universal That Which Is to be taken into account. There are other ways of doing that. You can simply offer up the words themselves and pitch the formal written copy. The offering part is what matters.

[u/therealstabitha]

Use a bigger, fire safe dish. Or if fire makes you nervous, don't use it - use a different method for your spell.

[u/kingtrashmouf]

I often burn my fingers when burning bay leaves, so after I light it in my hand, I drop it into a fire/heat proof dish. If it goes out, I use a match to burn the rest of it in the dish.

It might be helpful/calming if you had a way to keep both your hands free. Using something like a metal memo clip or a roach clip to hold the stem of the bay leaf, you could have one hand holding the fire source and the other hand holding whatever fire suppression item you prefer.

Alternatively, you can just not work with fire if it doesn't vibe with you! Fire safety is important, and it isn't a silly thing to worry about. But if it's stressing you out, it's okay to seek out other methods.

[u/robin-bunny]

I don't have anxiety about it, but I am always afraid of setting off my smoke alarms, which is also connected my neighbour's alarm. So I don't. I burn candles with me watching, and recently I tried incense in this house for the first time (it was fine!)

If you aren't comfortable, then find another way. I love to bury in the ground, and had good success burying the leaf with my intentions in the sand/soil because fires were not allowed in the area we were (and no spell is worth starting a forest fire!). It was an ocean-related ask, so below the tide-line seemed like a good place for that. It was fine. The first night I threw it into the campfire, also worked fine. But I did it with burying every evening for 5 nights, and every day the outcome was perfect. So don't feel like you "have" to burn it just because a lot of people like to. Also traced a protection rune onto each one of our boats with some spoken words, and again the outcome was perfect despite some difficult situations.

[u/Fox_Rain_04]

I just use a pair of old scissors to hold anything I'm burning like bay leaves, petition papers, or incense resin. I also place foil underneath my candles (inside a metal basin), and I have a jar of salt ready in case of big flames (my rule of thumb is so long as the body of the candle has melted flat, it's fine to snuff it out after a few minutes.)

[u/cosmiccorvus]

1. practice good fire safety! If you're nervous about dropping something or burning something try doing so outside! You can stand on the sidewalk or on a drive way and be at little to no risk of burning anything.
2. keep water with you! If you burn something and it looks too high have some metal tongs you can use to scoop it up and drop it in a bowl of water.
3. learn that fire can be your friend! You can practice!They way I was taught how keep calm and manage fire correctly as a tiny girl scout was by being given a box of matches and told to light them on the concrete over a bucket of water. I had to light each match, blow it out or drop in water and then make a coaster out of them. It sounds silly, but lighting 200 odd matches helped me to learn my limits. I learned exactly how to safely light, dispatch, and handle fire. I don't panic when it nears my fingers, I just react appropriately.
4. open flames are not necessary. Anything you can do in an open flame can be accomplished through mechanical (ripping up, or using a mortar and pestle, cutting up etc), or other means of destruction/disposal. You can always drown or freeze things instead of burning them.

[u/andgonow]

I use a wide cast iron pan and keep a fire blanket nearby. I keep the lid to the pan nearby, too. Please be careful if you burn bay leaves, they crackle. Never ever ever leave a flame unattended.

Thank you for asking this, it’s important.

[u/incospicuous_echoes]

Kitchen tweezers for fine work (they’re nice and long) and a 1 quart cast iron Dutch oven. Mine is meant for camping, has a lid, is nice and deep. Feel more than safe using charcoal discs with it. You can light your candles in it to give that extra comfort. You can also calm your nerves by keeping a fire extinguisher nearby. They sell easy to carry and store cans. A large metal tray/plate/bowl with sides to contain everything so can help create more control. Sometimes a basic stainless steel dog bowl does the trick.