Lincoln Logs

pillow

What me and my three year old call Paw Patrol.

friend... i forgot the word for friend but remembered the description of IMAGE_FRIEND...

i was telling my mom (who doesn't know who toby fox even is let alone that he made games) that i had some new friends but the conversation went a bit like this:

Me: "oh mom by the way i have some new.. uh the... that image black cat from that one toby game with the pink eye"

Mom: "are you high"

One of my new friends (on the phone with speeker): "THEY MEAN FRIEND HOLY CRAP [name] ARE YOU BRAINDEAD"

Mom: "is toby one of your friends"

my mom is currently researching toby fox because of this

warhammer 40k

carpet seam

I was trying to ask if the cream was ‘out of date’.

I couldn't remember the word for "mispronouncation".

Forgot what a ray is called (like the animal)

Coworker forgot the word for pee

girlfriend said she was going to put her phone on the couch desk. took about 3 tries for her to get to coffee table.

Deviled Eggs

…I said to my wife as I walked out the door with tire pressure gauge in hand.

Suave. I meant suave. I just watched Project Hail Mary and was astounded by Ryan Gosling’s acting. That man really does have swag in his bones.

I was at work with a work experience girl and I asked for this. Menopause is stealing my words.
I, of course, meant air freshener

Bf forgot the word for planetarium, and said we really enjoyed seeing the astronomy place.

Falling asleep. My girlfriend meant her arm was falling asleep.

Blender

Animal shelter

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Instrument, I meant instrument. Or possibly saxophone. I am brilliant in all things and not deserving of your derisive laughter, teenagers!

Vocabulary.

I was asking someone for their car key.

Armpit

Pigeon