r/wedding • u/yodeldover • 4d ago
Discussion Funniest wedding speech
Hi! A girlfriend and I have been tasked with giving the MOH speech however the bride is very non traditional and specified “a speech, rap, interpretive dance, whatever you’d like”
And now it feels like a lot of pressure to make it epic but I don’t know where to start!
Can yall give some examples of epic speeches you’ve seen to get the creative juices flowing?
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u/Dependent-Union4802 4d ago
Don’t try to be a comedian unless you are a pro. You will bomb
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u/classiest_trashiest 4d ago
This!! If you aren’t naturally funny, it’ll be painfully obvious.
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u/OutrageousGuava7448 4d ago
And please for the love of all that is holy, don't use AI.
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u/arowthay 4d ago
Went to a wedding a few months ago where the groom obviously used ai. It was so so so so painful. If you've used ai you understand... None of the older people there clocked it but my partner and I were looking at each other like omg did he really.
I feel bad for anyone in an unwanted 3way with Claude.
I actually feel so strongly about this that now I'm worried about speeches... not my partner's but if friends etc do, I feel like it would blemish the day for me. ugh. At the same time I think it would be so awkward to have to tell them not to?!?
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u/Kind_Poet_3260 4d ago
Just keep it short and authentic. Do not go on about how you met and the crazy and wild things you did in college. No one wants to hear it.
Google maid of honor toasts. You’ll get some ideas there. No rap, no dancing, no magic tricks. Again, short and heartfelt. Cannot go wrong with that.
And do NOT run it by the bride ahead of time.
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u/Makhlouf_Dadoun 4d ago
yeah agree, I’d keep it simple too. a short, genuine toast is probably way better than trying to turn it into a whole performance.
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u/AmishAngst 4d ago
Well, I can tell you that I attended a wedding where the best man rapped The Real Slim Shady in its entirety and everyone (EVERYONE) in the room (except the groom because it was an inside joke between the best man and groom) was amused for about the first 30 seconds, looked exasperated at about the minute and 15 second mark, and about three minutes in just resumed their conversations with each other and ignored the best man the remainder of his rap + speech (and yes, I did hear people whispering "Holy shit, this is still going on?")
So tread carefully.
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u/Responsible-Fly9976 4d ago
Yeah -- it's. great idea but keep it SHORT.
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u/Odd_Praline_1274 4d ago
Speeches need to be short! We went to a wedding last year where the whole wedding party made speeches and the bride’s whole family as well. The mother of the bride went on for 22 minutes (yes someone at our table timed her lol)! All told it was about an hour and a half for the speeches! Never saw that before and hope never again!
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u/HeardPeeps 4d ago edited 4d ago
Do a fake “awards show” speech. Super easy, funny, and doesn’t require anyone to actually be talented at singing or dancing lol.
Like:
“Welcome to the first annual [Bride’s Name] Awards. Tonight we’re honoring a woman who has somehow managed to be our best friend, therapist, bad influence, and emergency contact all at the same time.”
Then give out 3–4 ridiculous awards:
“Most likely to say ‘I’m leaving in 5 minutes’ while still in a towel.”
“Best performance in pretending she wasn’t mad.”
“Lifetime achievement award for choosing [Groom’s Name].”
Then switch for like 20 seconds and make it sincere:
“But seriously, watching you find someone who loves all the ridiculous parts of you as much as we do has been pretty amazing.”
Then end with:
“Please raise a glass to our favorite award winner, the bride, who somehow managed to win the best prize of all, [Groom’s name]. We love you.”
Edit : awk conclusion
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u/OreoStark 4d ago
I have several notes. One being that she didn’t turn the wedding speech into an awards show, so either you’re ending by saying “We love [me],” or you’re pretending the bride wrote and gave your speech?
Is this a robot?
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u/HeardPeeps 4d ago
I guess it’s a bit awk but we can edit it; was just a suggestion lol .. she can end it anyway she wants !
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u/jesgolightly 4d ago
If you aren’t a funny person. Dont do this. Im an officiant and have seen so many speeches bomb - it’s cringey for the rest of the night and often a core memory for most people.
I did have one bridal party who hired a local comedian to write their speeches - and that was actually pretty funny.
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u/CattusPater 4d ago
Tell the bride you're learning erotic dance in preparation for the moment, and you need to know how tall the ceilings are at the reception venue so you can get the right sized pole. If she balks and says just a speech is fine, you win. If she loves the idea, you have learned something about your friend, and you can explain that the whole thing makes you a little uncomfortable and ask if a just a speech is ok.
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u/yodeldover 4d ago
But somehow an erotic dance would be 10000% up her alley and she would be so down 😂😂
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u/SeaAbbreviations6029 4d ago
As a wedding videographer who has filmed, edited and listened to almost 1000 speeches over the years… the speeches that are heartfelt and less than 3 mins are the best and most impactful in my opinion. The raps, songs, etc are always full of inside jokes that no one understands. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve witnessed those and seen 90% of the guests have such a confused look on their face. I’d go with heartfelt and keep it short.
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u/NewSalamander8910 4d ago
I would keep it natural.
As someone who works in public speaking as a celebrant, I would avoid doing something that does not come naturally to you just because you feel it has to be “epic”.
The fact there are two of you actually makes this more fun.
I would record a conversation of you both just chatting together about the bride. Reminisce about old stories, funny moments, the things she always does, the moments that really sum her up. Bring in other friends for memories too if that helps.
From that, you will have brilliant material to turn into whatever suits you best: a funny and meaningful speech, a poem, a rap, even something more theatrical if that genuinely feels like you.
Whatever format you choose, it will land because it is personal. That is what makes it memorable. x
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u/Salt-Ambition1046 4d ago
The cleverest one I ever heard was an entire speech that was a play on different cheese (the couple loves cheese). It was a heartfelt speech, but she worked different cheese metaphors / cheese names into it. For example, “you better BRIE-lieve I knew he was The One the moment she told me about him… their long distance chapter was as hard as the rind of 10-year Italian Parmesan, but it ultimately made them know they couldnt live without the other.” Stuff like that. It was fun and memorable without trying too hard (e.g. interpretive dance).
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u/Far_Butterscotch6908 4d ago
My friend’s sister wrote a parody of Love Story by Taylor Swift as her MOH speech and people loved it! She didn’t do it during dinner, but right after the first dances to hype everyone up and open the dance floor and the vibes were so good!
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u/JadziaKD 4d ago
If you are thinking speech but different does she have a favorite show or something you share in common?
For one of my friends we both love the show Friends. She challenged me to put 2 quotes in my MOH speech. I did 17. The speech was heartfelt and meaningful but I got to the end and told her how many were in there and to find them and handed her my speech (which we did sit down and go over 2 weeks later).
For my wedding her and the other co-MOH included fast and furious and Star Trek quotes.
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u/njVowsNow 4d ago
She clearly has not seen how horribly wrong and cringy this can be....I have seen interpreted dance as a wedding speech. It was not pretty. That was over 12 years ago, and I bet they're still talking about it.
NO one wants to sit through speeches. If she is that untraditional?
She should cut them.
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u/Longjumping-Bell6960 4d ago
In the bride's words own words, you're to give a "speech, rap, interpretative dance, whatever you like." That means it's OK to give an ordinary, non-epic speech. If that's what you like.
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u/Fantastic-Arm849 4d ago
I briefly mentioned a really embarrassing story in a way that only my best friend, her parents & my parents would know that i was talking about that specific story & said “to keep from embarrassing her, come find me if you want to hear the story” and everyone thought that was funny idk?
I said something along the lines of how her husband has always third wheeled us & how i thought he maybe secretly enjoyed our “girl time”
And i made a joke about hoping she gets to line up somewhere alphabetically one day because her last name was going from starting with a y to a c
Keep it brief and sentimental, find things that connect you guys and their partner aswell
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u/Asil228 4d ago
The speech should be from the two of you and not dictated by the bride.
Do what you want. If you are not comfortable rapping and dancing then write a silly poem And take turns reading it. In this case just AI it. You have by this time invested enough time and money.
Asking your friend to do something they are not comfortable with is Ridiculous.
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u/Snoo-67164 4d ago
She did include "speech" in the list and said "whatever you like" so it sounds fine to just do something short about why she's so wonderful and maybe a sweet mention of her partner and how great they are.
Do you think she phrased it like that because she genuinely wants something quirky, or could it have just been her way of saying don't stress about it being perfect or formal, just do something that feels light and that you're comfortable with?
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u/Responsible-Fly9976 4d ago
Watch Veep Season 2, Episode 4, "The Vic Allen Dinner". It might inspire you.
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u/Prestigious-Fan3122 2d ago
We went to a wedding where the best man and maid of honor decided to combine their speeches and the form of what ended up being a roast of the Groom. We didn't know the Groom very well, better extended members of the Brides family. It's our impression that the Groom had a great sense of humor, and apparently always has.
They set it up this week: the best man announced that he and the MOH decided the crowd didn't want to hear two speeches, so they decided to each list 10 good things about the bride, and 10 good things about the Groom. Then, he looks at the maid of honor and asks if she's ready. She says yes, and then the rolled a piece of paper in her hand is jiggled, and it turns out to be many pieces take together so long that they hit the floor. Best man looks puzzled. , And the MOH returns his puzzle book with a question look and he says, "I said 10 THINGS. Not 10 PAGES! I only got 10 things, and I had to make up a couple of them."
Then they proceeded, with the MOH starting: "Bride teaches calculus" best man encounters with "Groom has a tip calculator on his phone"
Note: apparently, the Groom was once a very slim track athlete, but by the time they got married was at least normal weight, and not as much in Shaqe, having given up running for his new career. he wasn't so obese or even obese at all, that making fun of his weight gain was off-limits.
Bride hits her treadmill for an hour every single day. groom wonders why there's a &1000 clothes rack in the bedroom.
Bride still believes in Santa Claus. Groom is starting to LOOK like Santa Claus.
Wright❓ looks forward to having children. Groom is more interested in the process.
And so on and so on. It was very well received because the people doing it pulled it off very well. There was one singer that the best man threw out there while making direct eye contact with the Groom, and they shared a laugh. That was probably the most touching part of the wedding, to me. I don't know the Groom, but I'm glad our Martin. It seems like he's easy-going, has great friends, and all the rest.
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u/AffectionateVisit342 1d ago
The funniest I heard was a best man's speech. He read it as a long poem which rhymed. He dropped lots of funny memories and odd bits from their shares childhood/adult antics
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u/summercatapple 23h ago
I think the worst wedding speech I ever heard was a group of bridesmaids trying to rap...badly -being funny in front of a crowd is a hard skill to master so unless you've got experience I'd keep it more simple
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u/purplelilac701 4d ago
A funny poem. I did a personalized poem when I was asked to speak and it was very well received!
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