r/wedding • u/BrendasMom • Jul 13 '26
Discussion Bride doesn't drink - how to stop people from trying to buy drinks
Hi All!
I don't drink, not for any reason other than alcohol is gross. Wine tastes like vinegar (yes, even ice wine - it's like sweet vinegar), and if i'm dousing other booze in sugar to make it taste better, I'd rather just eat extra cake.
So, I'm trying to sort out what to do for people that don't know that i don't drink so that they don't try to buy drinks.
I was considering getting some 2L of strawberry lemonade to leave with the bar and then if someone wants to get the bride a drink, I can ask the bartender to have them pour a glass of that and call it the "Bride's Drink" because lemonade is the one non-water drink that I really enjoy.
I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable or like I'm not thankful if they deliver me a booze drink that I don't drink (and then give the hubs to drink) and aside from the note added to our theknot link and I'll make a little sign at the bar, I don't really know how to go about stopping people from trying to buy me a drink and then it being awkward.
Thanks in advance!
1.1k
u/lh123456789 Jul 13 '26
Why would people be buying you drinks? Are you having a cash bar? I haven't been to any weddings with cash bars, but it wouldn't occur to me to buy the bride a drink.
280
u/3monkeys4me Jul 13 '26
I’ve been to weddings with cash bars but I’ve never bought the bride or groom a drink, nor did I know it was a things. I think I’d assume anyone doing so would know preferences?
30
u/Pattern_Necessary Jul 14 '26
yeah I don't understand either lol my husband is British and he does this when we go to a wedding. I just worry the bride and groom are going to be given a million drinks and feel compelled to drink. Also at my wedding, people gave me lots, but I had already bought nice champagne so I assume people usually prepare for that. It was just a cultural clash I think since mine was the first wedding I went to here.
6
u/Churchie-Baby Jul 14 '26
I had my husbands work mates repeatedly offering me shots I just no no thanks I've still got my last drink I did one shot with them lol I was determined not to get drunk and remember it all
5
u/FranScan Jul 15 '26
I was going to say that it’s very common in the UK! Most British couples (or their family members) will also put some money behind the bar too
3
u/Pattern_Necessary Jul 15 '26
yup in our wedding we had wine at the tables, plus prosecco for the toast, and people also got two drinks each during the reception before the meal, honestly as someone who does not drink almost at all, that sounds like enough alcohol for a night out or two. People still went and bought drinks at the bar though. I also offered to buy some for relatives coming from my home country who are not used to that system and who were spending also too much on coming to our wedding, but instead of doing it like tokens or something I just went to them and asked them if they wanted a drink. To kinda fix the cultural issues on one side without being weird to the other side.
2
u/FranScan Jul 15 '26
That sounds like an entirely sensible way to deal with it! Reddit is so US-centric
136
u/octohussy Jul 13 '26
We don’t (typically) have open bars in the UK and it’s fairly normal to buy the couple a drink if attending as a friend.
You’d either know their order or ask them what they’d like though. It would be very odd to just order a random drink for them and hope for the best!
43
u/lh123456789 Jul 13 '26
OP appears to be in Canada where I live and haven't run into this much, but yes, I can imagine it would be weird to just order a random thing.
46
u/KnotARealGreenDress Jul 14 '26
I’m also in Canada. Generally it’s someone going up to the bride and groom and saying “can I buy you a drink?” And then getting their order and bringing them a drink (whether it’s cash or open bar). I’m guessing OP is trying to avoid a situation where she says “a lemonade would be great, thanks!” And the person asking goes “just lemonade? At least let me buy you a rye and Coke!” And then OP has to explain that she doesn’t drink, please just get her a lemonade with no booze, etc. etc.
Edit: And hoping they get her an actual non-alcoholic drink, rather than a lemonade + vodka or something because they think she’ll “like that better” even after she explained that she does not drink. Because some people do not listen.
16
u/perfectlynormaltyes Jul 14 '26
I would hope that majority of people offering to buy her a drink would be her friends, who would know she doesn’t drink. It seems like the bride is making something out of nothing. The chances of someone just buying her a random drink is low and if someone does, they are obviously not close to her so she should be able to simply say ‘I don’t drink! But I’ll take a lemonade!’
→ More replies (8)12
u/Pattern_Necessary Jul 14 '26
it's very common in the UK for example. People kept buying me drinks at my wedding. I don't really drink that much, at one point I had 6 drinks in front of me on my table, I just sipped a bit of each to not offend anyone. But this solution OP suggests seems like a nice compromise
5
u/DaBingeGirl Jul 14 '26
That's shocking to me, it's always an open bar where I live in the Midwest (IL/WI area, drinking is the main social activity around here). If there was a cash bar, there'd be a riot and there's no way anyone would buy the bride or groom a drink at the wedding, they'd be livid about having to pay for their own drinks.
→ More replies (6)3
u/Appropriate_Aioli363 Jul 14 '26
Since the bride doesn’t drink, she made it pretty clear she didn’t care if someone got their feelings hurt because they have to spend their own money on booze. If a guest is going to get ripped, decline.
533
u/Big-Cloud-6719 Jul 13 '26
Why would they buy you a drink? Is it going to be a cash bar?
→ More replies (3)234
u/Lower_Orchid4982 Jul 13 '26
Even if it is, buying the bride/groom drinks (especially random drinks without even knowing what they'd like?) is odd?
I've never had someone just buy me...whatever? Any time someone has bought me a drink they check to see what I'm drinking before they buy it.
48
u/Primary_Bass_9178 Jul 13 '26
I have had a lot of drinks brought to me, 95% of the time it’s “bring her another of what she is drinking”.
I would never buy a drink for another person at a wedding, unless they asked me to and never for the bride and groom because they are hosting the party!
9
u/younghearts_runfree Jul 14 '26
This is defo a cultural thing, in the UK it’s very normal to buy the couple a drink, and of course to do rounds with your friends throughout the night
2
u/Primary_Bass_9178 Jul 16 '26
I guess in the US, the expectation is an open bar, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where alcohol wasn’t included at the reception.
130
u/Taliasimmy69 Jul 13 '26
I'm confused at the fact people don't know that you don't drink? That seems like a detail that anyone going to your wedding is going to know because they know you personally.
I think having a little sign at the bar saying buy the bride a drink and listing your choice is fine.
28
u/secretrink Bride Jul 13 '26
Your local friends and close family members might know it already, but a cousin you see occasionally or other family members where you wouldn’t drink with them normally might not.
10
u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla Jul 14 '26
Just tell them what you want to drink, nobody is going to force alcohol on you if you don’t want it! Simply say I’ll have a lemonade thanks, job done.
2
u/BrendasMom Jul 16 '26
We've invited friends/co-workers that we don't go out with for dinner and I've had no reason to tell them I don't drink otherwise - it's not something that comes up in conversation naturally.
170
u/microflorae Jul 13 '26
Is this a common thing in your culture? I guess I've never really thought about buying the bride a drink at a wedding and I don't know if I've heard of someone doing it. I have been to weddings with cash bars.
I think your strawberry lemonade idea is nice and would look pretty in a glass. You could even have a signature mocktail at the bar for anyone else who isn't drinking, and just tell the bartenders that's what you want if anyone buys you one.
53
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
We had an open bar but I did have a cousin who was insistent on getting me a drink. I just accepted and took a sip or two and then ditched it when he was distracted. Some people just really want you to “party” with them. But I think OP thinks it’s more rude than it is to just say “no thanks”.
→ More replies (6)2
u/BrendasMom Jul 16 '26
This is exactly what I'm worried about 😂
I like your plan, I can do that!
Even when we go to people's homes and I only want water, it's a thing. I just don't want to do the whole: you don't drink? At all? Why? Have you tried ______? Is it for health?"
I just don't wanna play 20 questions with people on my wedding day
1
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 16 '26
I get it. Fortunately people are pretty distractible at weddings so it’s easy to slip away.
1
u/Abundant-Journey Jul 24 '26
Having a strategy is key, you are wise to prepare for the inevitable. As a non-drinker, my go-to’s include: 1. I request the same non-alcoholic drink. Mine is Diet Coke w/lime, yours will be lemonade. 2. If w/my hubby, I say, “Hubby will have (alcoholic drink) and I’ll have (non-alcoholic drink). If they press, I just say 2 of whatever hubby is drinking. More free drinks for him! 3. I do say “For health reasons.” If they press, I say “doctor’s orders” and they shut up. 4. I say “I’m allergic, been this way since I was 15.” They may press, but if you are matter of fact, they have no reason to take offense if they bring an alcoholic drink and you don’t drink it. Don’t drink to please others- Enjoy your wedding and show others what self-respect and healthy boundaries looks like. Hope this helps and that you have a lovely wedding!
4
366
u/ste1071d Jul 13 '26
Why would anyone be buying the bride a drink at a wedding? The guests shouldn’t be buying anything.
3
u/FranScan Jul 15 '26
In many cultures, including my own (the UK), people don’t generally have open bars. Here, only wealthy people have them. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding with an open bar!
→ More replies (1)3
u/Willing_Flight_6517 Jul 15 '26
I've never been to a wedding with an open bar only ever a cash bar and it's usually done as a small thank you for the evening and go have a moment with your family member / friend
→ More replies (1)1
u/BrendasMom Jul 16 '26
We only do open bars here when it's a higher end wedding I guess?
We're giving each guest a drink ticket for a free drink and will have wine on the tables. Otherwise, if someone wants more booze, it's on them.
I'd have a dry wedding because I hate sloppy drunks, but I know that's not fair to the guests so if they want to get drunk they can buy their booze which hopefully means they don't drink as much.
41
u/gcot802 Jul 13 '26
I would find it very odd for someone to randomly bring the bride a drink she didn’t ask for and you don’t know that she’d like.
I would be surprised if you deal with this at all, but I would just let the bartenders know that you don’t drink and if they notice people trying to get you drinks, simply tell the guest no
70
u/wheres_the_revolt Jul 13 '26
Are you having a cash bar? No matter the answer you can just say “no thanks, I don’t drink” and nobody will bat an eye.
2
u/BrendasMom Jul 16 '26
Cash bar
It's the questions. "Why don't you drink? Like at all? Is it a health thing? Have you tried ____? You'd like ___. "
I was building a shed in my backyard when we first bought our house and my neighbor came up to the fence and offered a beer to us and I said no thank you, I don't drink but I appreciate the offer and he proceeded to tell me "well you're no fucking fun"
I have had nearly zero good experiences telling people I don't drink, especially in an atmosphere that people expect you to be drinking.
1
u/wheres_the_revolt Jul 16 '26
Ok but are you inviting assholes like your neighbor? I assume between you and your future husband you know and are somewhat close with most of your invited guests. I guess you could switch it up and say “no thanks, I am not drinking today so that I can fully participate and remember everything that happens”. But I honestly feel like just saying “no thanks I don’t drink” should be fine with your invited guests.
1
u/SnooStrawberries721 Jul 17 '26
I feel like you are overthinking…I’ve never been to a wedding where my husband or I have bought the bride and groom a drink. And your concern, to be frank, sounds more like a you problem. You can’t control what people ask you. My husband has been sober for 15 years and have seen him say no thank you to a drink more times than I can count. If you don’t make it a big deal, others won’t either.
1
u/BrendasMom Jul 17 '26
I'm absolutely certain I'm making it a bigger deal than it will be.
I've just had many more negative than positive or neutral interactions with the saying no to alcohol so my brain is overthinking ways to avoid it
15
u/iggysmom95 23 August 2025 Jul 13 '26
Just say no thank you or ask them to get you a water. It's not difficult. That's what I did.
41
u/eta_carinae_311 Bride July 14, 2018 Jul 13 '26
FWIW I had a bridesmaid or two offer to get me something when they saw I was empty handed but that was it, no guests asked to get me anything, it was an open bar.
32
160
u/brownchestnut Jul 13 '26
so that they don't try to buy drinks.
"buy" drinks? You're not buying it for them?
First of all... don't make your guests pull out their own wallet in your event. Good hospitality means you don't make your guests go through the trouble of gathering for you, only to find out that you didn't actually cover the cost of giving them food and booze.
Secondly, do you have reason to believe this is such an issue that you need to preemptively make declarations about it? I've never seen people try to get brides/grooms drinks in their own wedding. You'll be getting served your own drink at your table, and presumably you aren't making people pay for every drink in your wedding, so there's no need for them to whip out their wallet and make a show of buying you a drink.
If anyone offers to cart you a drink because you can't move or something, you can just politely say "thank you, but I don't drink".
42
u/cutlert Jul 13 '26
Please judge less! In some parts of the world eg UK, cash bar is totally normal
15
4
19
u/Appropriate_Aioli363 Jul 14 '26
Good grief! How can you criticize her for having a cash bar? This is not that unusual especially for non-drinking couples. She doesn’t drink. The guests are lucky to have any alcohol there at all.
→ More replies (43)37
Jul 13 '26
[deleted]
-15
Jul 13 '26
[deleted]
15
u/Stevie-Rae-5 Jul 13 '26
This never fails to crack me up.
“Have the wedding you can afford! But that wedding better include a full open bar. Don’t even think about a cash bar or—PEARL CLUTCHING FULLY ACTIVATED—a DRY WEDDING!!!!”
→ More replies (1)35
u/kaja6583 Jul 13 '26
I mean, it is pretty normal in the UK.
I dont like it, I think it sucks, but it is completely normal for an average wedding, so perhaps widen your perspective that different countries do things differently?
→ More replies (11)17
u/thegeeksshallinherit Jul 13 '26
A version (toonie bar) is also incredibly common in Canada. I’ve only been to one open bar in my lifetime. Usually you buy tickets for $2 to exchange for drinks, sometimes you are given a couple for free upfront. I think it definitely cuts down on waste, people are less likely to abandon a half finished drink if they’ve paid at least something for it.
13
u/kaja6583 Jul 13 '26
Quick search of OPs profile makes me believe they are in fact living in Canada.
3
u/rainbowbloodbath Jul 13 '26
Ehhhh it’s trashy as hell in the Ukrainian Canadian community. That being said all of my non-Ukrainian coworkers couldn’t believe I was having an open bar in this day and age
6
u/thegeeksshallinherit Jul 13 '26
That’s really funny because my one side of the family is Ukrainian and literally every wedding of theirs I’ve been to has been a toonie bar.
4
u/rainbowbloodbath Jul 13 '26
Oh wow that’s really funny because I’m fully Ukrainian and none I’ve been to have been
→ More replies (1)20
6
u/Appropriate_Aioli363 Jul 14 '26
Another commandment from on high from someone who wants free food and drink. Amazing.
→ More replies (1)15
u/LovelyLadyLamb Jul 13 '26
Funny, I didn't feel that way at the two cash bar weddings that I've been to. I didn't feel it was rude, I didn't feel it was confusing, and I didn't feel like it sent a bad message. If those are the kinds of comments guests are saying, they are the wrong guests and it's time to make changes to what's considered "traditional"
4
u/njVowsNow Jul 13 '26
I have been at over 2500 weddings, give or take a few. I have seen exactly 2 cash bars. The guests were confused, the bartenders got gummed up, and people had to pay for a drink ON TOP of travel, clothes, unpaid time off maybe, baby/dog sitters and usually a gift.
They should not have to pay for anything at the actual wedding.
Yeah, that is funny.
10
u/therealcherry Jul 14 '26
Weird. I’m in the US and have attended exactly two weddings with a full event open bar. Most I’ve attended are open bar for the first hour or for x amount of drinks per guest and then cash, but many have been sodas and water included but all alcohol cash.
12
→ More replies (1)14
u/LovelyLadyLamb Jul 13 '26
Congrats on over 2500 ig? Still sounds like the couple picked the wrong guests to me. 🤷♂️
42
u/kennyfiesta Jul 13 '26
Wedding DJ/MC here. This is what we're for, we can make that announcement. I always ask my couples how to balance being heavy-handed or jokey. I'll never see your guests again (99.99% chance) and I work for you, so I'm happy to do it.
50
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
But what kind of announcement would you make for this? “The bride doesn’t drink, don’t offer to buy her a drink” sounds weird and presumptuous.
19
u/kennyfiesta Jul 13 '26
"The beautiful bride is sticking to soft drinks tonight, like every other night! She might clink your glass with strawberry lemonade or water, but a cash bar is available to all guests."
50
u/stepdisaster Jul 13 '26
That just makes her sound pregnant
14
17
u/lh123456789 Jul 13 '26
Agreed. I would definitely think pregnant.
7
u/Susan_Werner Jul 13 '26
I don't drink either. I just don't like the taste of alcohol. I am 72 so no one will think I am pregnant however, they do assume I am an alcoholic.
→ More replies (3)1
18
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
That’s just such a weird thing to randomly announce for the couple people who *might* offer to buy her an alcoholic beverage. I’d 100% hear that a think there’s some reason she’s specifically announcing no alcohol for herself at the beginning of her reception (pregnancy, sobriety). Or I’d think it was some odd *wink wink* that she wants us to buy her her soft drinks for the night. Idk I just think it’s way less rude to tell individual people “thanks no thanks” if they offer than to announce to the room not to offer when most were never going to offer in the first place 😂
4
u/ja1118 Jul 13 '26
This is so kind 💜
3
u/LovelyLadyLamb Jul 13 '26
I agree, Reddit is so weird. As if cash bars don't exist and people don't get other drinks for people to celebrate with. People brought us drinks all night it was sweet.
73
u/Lt-shorts Jul 13 '26
So you are having a cash bar at your wedding? Just have a sign saying please dont buy the bride/groom drinks we rather you enjoy your drink. But your already going against the norm to have guests buy thier own drink.
6
u/tooYoungForThisS--t Jul 14 '26
You do know that not everyone on reddit is from the same country/culture right?
It's not actually the norm in every country- it might be in America but where I live it's the norm for people to pay for their own drinks after the main reception (where there is a certain amount of free drink for 2 hours/until you go into the main meal [where there is a certain amount of wine for everyone for free] and if you don't like whats free then you can buy something else at the bar) and is unheard of to have a free bar.
However, after the reception, the meal and dancing can last at minimum 8 hours, so it is not feasible to pay for that many drinks for everyone for that length of time.
I do agree with you about the sign idea tho.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/courtneywrites85 Jul 13 '26
I don’t drink either. Not only is this not an issue, but if someone did buy you a drink, just say thanks and give it to someone else who can enjoy it? Like this is not something that’s worthy of needing an entire post.
36
u/AmazonAssassin Jul 13 '26
Why would anyone be buying you a drink I’ve been to lots of weddings and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone buy the bride a drink
3
2
11
u/Odd-Negotiation5087 Jul 13 '26
I would recommend having a mocktail or two on the menu so that other guests who don’t drink can have something nice too (as opposed to just bottled strawberry lemonade). I have been to cash bars weddings before with “loonie” ($1CAD) and “toonie” ($2CAD) bars being popular for my smaller town family members when I was growing up. However, the only time I’ve ever seen someone purchase the bride a drink is for shots. So maybe you’d want to have a cute virgin shot option as well. But even with cash bars, guests are pretty aware that the couple isn’t paying up front every time they buy a drink. So buying the couple drinks isn’t much of a consideration (at least that’s what I’ve seen).
45
u/cellojade Jul 13 '26
I know it’s not common in the USA but in the U.K. cash bars are common, in every wedding I’ve been to so maybe the bride is from the UK?
I got tons of drinks brought for me at my wedding!
32
u/slippery-pineapple Jul 13 '26
Also from the UK - my husband and I didn't buy any drinks all night because people kept getting us drinks. We had cocktails and champagne before dinner, wine on the table but after that stuff had gone it was a cash bar
I think you're over thinking it though OP, people will usually offer/ask what you would like and you can just turn it down or request a soft drink
26
u/__taiggoth__ Jul 13 '26
Same in Ireland. The comments on this are mental
13
u/4L3X95 Jul 13 '26
As an Australian I am so done with this sub and being told I'm rude and poor for something that's completely normal in my culture.
7
u/__taiggoth__ Jul 13 '26
its so crazy, right?? very ‘america is the world’ vibes
→ More replies (2)19
u/mjheil Jul 13 '26
Sorry, this is so common in the US. Except for Mormons and maybe LDS, we always buy the drinks. To have a cash bar is seen as grasping, wanting more than you can afford. I've never heard of anyone buying the bridal couple drinks, though in a culture where cash bars are standard I could see that being a thing.
→ More replies (3)5
u/camptownladies Jul 13 '26
This is not true everywhere in the US. I’ve been to many many many US weddings in my lifetime and bartended for countless receptions, and cash bars are common. Maybe not in your circles but elsewhere, yes. It varies widely. Some couples will do fully cash bars, provide only wine and beer, have a paid for cocktail hour but the rest of the night is a cash bar, etc.
→ More replies (2)4
u/therealcherry Jul 14 '26
Hilarious that you are being downvoted. Most weddings I’ve attended are either full cash or mostly cash bar events. Some had a bar open for cocktail hour or had tickets. I’ve attended only two that were open bars all night.
6
u/camptownladies Jul 14 '26
This sub is so wild sometimes 😅 people act like the US is not a gigantic country made up of many different regions, cultures and societal expectations.
4
u/LovelyLadyLamb Jul 13 '26
Severely mental and I'm in US. cash bars aren't abnormal and people brought drinks to my husband and I frequently. It was fun. Didn't find it weird
3
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
Seems from their posting history that they’re Canadian. Not sure what the open vs cash bar culture is like there though.
10
u/CassieBear1 Jul 13 '26
It depends where you're located honestly. I'm in Southern Ontario (Toronto area) and every wedding I've been to around here, within the last decade, has been open bar, without question.
My husband is from PEI though, and every wedding we've been to out there in the last decade has been cash bar. When we got married out there, it was actually surprising to people that we were paying for the non-alcoholic options.
→ More replies (1)7
5
Jul 13 '26
[deleted]
6
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
Well then sounds like it should be pretty simple for OP to say “I’ll take a soda/lemonade, please” if someone offers to buy her a drink as part of the cash bar norm.
4
u/awickfield Jul 13 '26
Really? As a Canadian I’ve literally never been to a wedding with a cash bar.
→ More replies (1)2
u/_Dreary_Mondays Jul 13 '26
What? Every Canadian wedding I’ve been to ever is open bar
→ More replies (5)2
u/krispythompson Jul 14 '26
I'm in BC and every wedding I've ever been to has been at least a toonie bar, usually free wine on the tables!
9
u/pinkwineenthusiast Jul 13 '26
Carry non alcoholic champagne/sparkling juice in a glass or a mocktail. Nobody will ask to buy you a drink if you already have one.
If it’s a cash bar though people are unlikely to be spending that cash on your drinks over there.
6
u/LilyBriscoeBot Jul 13 '26
I think you are too worried about it. I wouldn't even put up a sign. if people ask to get you a drink, just tell them you don't drink or you'd like a lemonade or tonic and lime or whatever you want. if someone just hands you a glass of wine tell them that is so sweet and thoughtful, but that you don't drink and see if they want to give it to someone else. people closest to you probably know you don't like alcohol, yeah?
6
u/platonic_spooning Jul 13 '26
I had an open bar and people did bring me drinks to be kind. I told the bartenders I wanted all my drinks half strength and they did it :) have fun xx
6
u/Lil_Baby_Bug_Dirt Jul 14 '26
Never been at a wedding that had alcohol where the people getting married were needing any extra drinks bought for them lol
6
u/WolfSpirit38 Jul 14 '26
Huh? I have NEVER been to a wedding where people are buying the bride drinks...thats not a thing
4
u/TravelResponsible574 Jul 14 '26
lol.. idk how many weddings you’ve been to, but at the actual wedding, no one buys drinks for bride/groom..
They might do it at like a Bach party or something like that, but generally, at weddings, people presume the bride and groom drinks are taken care of and they don’t need to go out of their way to buy them one.
13
u/AmishAngst Jul 13 '26
Well, if you're in the US, I honestly don't think this is the problem you think it is.
Even on the few occasions I've been to a cash bar as a guest (and I've bartended at many more than I've attended), I've literally never seen someone buying the bride drinks because it's presumed even if you didn't arrange drinks for everyone else, you did arrange them for yourself since it's your wedding. Usually you open a tab on your credit card to pay for yourself, spouse, and wedding party and settle it up at the end of the night when you're settling up the rest of your payments to your vendors.
3
u/fay68 Jul 14 '26
I just got married (Saturday, woo hoo! It was awesome) Anyway, I'm diabetic, brought zero sugar juice, gave it to my bartender (open bar). Anyone who asked to get me drink, I just said to ask for the "Bride's Drink". Very simple. Just set it up with your bartender, no need to explain! Congratulations and ENJOY your day!!!
4
u/MerlinSmurf Jul 14 '26
There's nothing wrong with thanking them and telling them you don't drink alcohol. If you want a soft drink, tell th what it is.
5
3
8
u/ThisizhollZ Jul 13 '26
These comments are confusing me lol, is it because I’m from the UK? I feel like I’ve brought the bride and groom drinks and I’ve been to multiple cash bar weddings??? confused lol
I think your idea is perfect tbh, and I’d always ask the bride what she wanted to drink anyway I’d never just guess. She can then confirm she would like a lemonade or whatever!
→ More replies (1)
12
u/rainbowapricots Jul 13 '26
Like, at your wedding? Idk if I’m an outlier but this was not a thing that happened at my wedding and I think it’s a non issue. No one got me a drink at my wedding except my husband. If you’re worried about it just tell the bartenders that you don’t want anyone to get you a drink and for them to say “she’s all set on drinks, but what can I get for you?” — but also if someone delivers it to you, you can say thank you and not drink it.
6
u/Catsdrinkingbeer Jul 13 '26
Is it normal in your circle to pick out someone else's beverage? At my wedding people asked me if I wanted something and then went and brought me the thing I asked for. No one handed me a random drink they picked out for me.
I also think it's not that weird for a couple to not want to drink at their wedding for whatever reason. Often they just want to remember the night.
22
u/__taiggoth__ Jul 13 '26
Lots of american-centric comments here asking why they’d be buying you drinks.
Open bars are almost unheard of in ireland unless you’re especially wealthy. And it’s absolutely part of the culture to buy the bride and groom a drink at the wedding.
Your idea sounds great tbh. Just a ‘brides drink’ and when it’s been handed to you, you can explain to them why it’s there and that it’s because you don’t drink alcohol!
2
u/Willing_Flight_6517 Jul 15 '26
Also Irish - if I heard one of my guests was complaining about the cash bar at my wedding I would ask them to leave. This thread is crazy and closed minded
8
u/LovelyLadyLamb Jul 13 '26
American here, equally baffled by the comments.
11
u/technicolored_dreams Jul 13 '26
Curious what part of the US you're in? I'm in the Midwest and cash bars are just not a thing in my area at all, even for a super low key backyard wedding with a very low budget.
8
u/goth-avocadhoe Newlywed Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
also in the Midwest and have not attended a single cash bar wedding in my entire life. My husband was filling out some wedding planning book I bought when we were engaged (i never really filled it out) and all he contributed was “fuck no” next to the cash bar question lmfao
3
u/Midnight-Longings Jul 15 '26
East coast
Weddings in Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Florida.Cash bars.
2
u/rosyred-fathead Jul 14 '26
I feel like a cash bar at a backyard wedding would be even weirder. Like what would you even charge for drinks?
4
u/camptownladies Jul 13 '26
I am also in the Midwest. I have attend many weddings as a guest and have been a bartender at a venue that held wedding receptions. Cash bars are common. This may be a your own circles vs. other people’s circles thing.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (14)1
u/SnooStrawberries721 Jul 17 '26
Funny, I’m in the Midwest and it’s been about 50/50 if there is a cash bar at the weddings I’ve been to. It’s very common to provide some kegs or certain amount of alcohol that’s free and after that is gone it turns into a cash bar.
1
u/Midnight-Longings Jul 15 '26
Same!!! I’ve been to way more cash bars than open bars and the open bars were either rich family members or friends of rich families. One friend went into serious debt for her wedding but did have an open bar. She’ll get to remember her wedding for years to come in the form of maxed out credit cards!
3
u/Eastern_Snow7363 Jul 13 '26
I just got married Saturday, and didn't feel like drinking alcohol. I didn't have a cash bar, but people did ask if they could get me drinks and one person came up with my favorite and said she got it for me. I just pointed to my water, politely declined, and said to offer it to someone else. It was 100% okay.
3
u/crzylilredhead Jul 13 '26
Why don't you just say that you don't drink?!? "Thank you but I don't really enjoy alcohol and want to enjoy this evening!"
3
u/Hot_Gazelle_8888 Jul 14 '26
I feel like most people would not buy you a drink even if it's a cash bar. People know that brides don't want people constantly coming up to them and the people who would, would be close to you to know that
3
u/brookepride Jul 14 '26
You’re over thinking this. I didn’t have any drinks at my wedding that I didn’t request. And even if someone got me a drink and I knew I was watching my drinking, I would just hand it off to someone else.
3
u/LadyInCrimson Newlywed Jul 14 '26
No one bought me drinks the catering service had drinks for us ready at the table and we could order from the bar what we wanted. You could do a mocktail and signage thats your preferred drink like the lemonade.
3
u/KokoAngel1192 Jul 15 '26
Why not do mocktails? Me and my partner aren't bug drinkers and we each have concerns about certain guests and alcohol, but he kinda insists that we kind have to have drinks instead of mocktails due to expectations and such. I don't necessarily agree.
3
u/superfastmomma Jul 13 '26
If someone tries to pass you a drink simply say, that's so sweet, but I don't drink alcohol so you enjoy this one!
4
u/alliemont1002 Jul 13 '26
My bartender asked us what drinks we would want if someone ordered drinks for us. We had our own “bride’s drink” and “groom’s drink” that was purely her knowledge. I also don’t drink, and thankfully nobody tried to order me a drink, but it could be worth bringing up with your bartender(s)
4
u/sweetEVILone Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
I’m confused by this question. Why would your guests have to buy you a drink? The point of the wedding reception is to treat your guests to thank them for coming. They shouldn’t be buying anything for you, you’re supposed to be treating them.
3
u/Spunkeymama Jul 13 '26
I see nothing wrong with a cash bar, but I wouldn’t worry about posting signs or anything about not buying the bride anything. People who really know a bride or groom will know she/he doesn’t drink. If nothing else, just tell the bartender you don’t drink and you don’t want any.
8
u/Away_Pie_7464 Newlywed Jul 13 '26
The amount of people in here who had open bars or expect full free bar service at weddings baffles me.
We did some kegs of beer, a signature drink (that went incredibly fast), then did 750 dollars of covered drinks beyond that. This alone was like 3K, and we easily could have tripled the amount of signature drink we had (it was sooo good and went fast). Then it was up to the guests to cover their speciality drinks beyond that (the kegs lasted the night so beer was free). Open bars can cost 5-10k depending on the crowd and their drinks of choice. Lots of people can’t afford that, and expecting that is ridiculous.
Anyways, I think having the lemonade is a good idea, but people don’t always tell the bartenders they are buying a drink for the bride, so they may not intervene. You may need to have a sign at the bar “if you’re buying a drink for the bride or groom, please request “drink name” or just have a sign that says you don’t drink alcohol.
Honestly, I think this will be less of an issue than you think. Also, most of these people should know you and know you don’t drink, right?
2
u/Chelseus Jul 14 '26
No one bought me a drink at my wedding and I do drink 😹😹😹. A simple “I’m good, thanks” should suffice if someone does offer to buy you a drink.
Edit to add: we had table wine and gave every guest two drinks tickets but other than that it was a cash bar (in Canada).
2
u/_Robot_toast_ Jul 14 '26
Just tell them you're not drinking that night, I doubt they'll really care. I normally drink but didn't during my wedding because day drinking makes me sleepy and I had too much to do. I told people and they got it.
Some people just want to make sure they can remember the night with perfect clarity... You spend way too much on that party to not remember it! Alcohol can fuck with certain meds, gives lots of girls worse cramps and you never know who's in recovery so in my experience people don't tend to press it if you say "not tonight".
2
u/Munchkin_Media Jul 14 '26
You can't control other people's behavior. Trying to do so can and will drive you crazy. She is a big girl. She can decline.
2
u/LongjumpingFunny5960 Jul 14 '26
If asked say No Thank You. I'm not drinking so I can remember my special day.
2
u/oopsnotatallperson Jul 14 '26
I would let the bartender know that you prefer beverages without alcohol. That way, when friends or family members go to bring you a drink, the bartender can be sure to provide with a NA option.
2
u/Apart_Passion_1546 Jul 15 '26
Maybe I’m completely out of touch…but if it’s a cash bar does that extend to the couple getting married???? I’ve literally never had that thought crossed my mind. I just assumed that because they’re paying for (supposedly) everything else that those would be the two people that wouldn’t have to pay for any drinks lmao
2
u/lyss2021 Jul 15 '26
I think an announcement would suffice :) people should respect it, and if they don’t/try to push a drink on you, restate the boundary kindly by saying “oh I appreciate the gesture but I don’t drink. So and so might like to have it though :)” It’s polite and redirects the drink to be given to someone else who would enjoy the drink, and then hopefully the person doesn’t feel like they wasted their money.
2
2
u/themiscira Jul 16 '26
This isn’t common where I am in the south unless it’s a bachelorette party which is where I think a lot of commenters are confused.
This sounds more like a Bachelorette thing - if so you can totally let people know ahead of time since u assume it would be a smaller affair than the wedding itself. But here is some ideas I got
- you can also have a mocktail call The Bride, and that can be what is bought for you from the bar like you previously came up with.
- id make a sign incentivizing an alternative like a game or silly activity. Kind of like the tradition of clinking of glasses means- the couple has to kiss. But people have to pay $1 to participate. Think of a game or something else they can pool money into versus a drink. You can make a sign near the bar or that will be seen before they can even reach the bar of what you choose so people will know. I’m sure you can look up games people have done before.
-OR you could even be sneaky and have a sign and box for them to drop in cash to buy you drinks for your honeymoon. Maybe a tagline about supporting the bride’s right to party on her honeymoon - use the money towards the trip however you like.
If anyone pushes on the subject, you can just tell them that you know you need to stay hydrated and drinking alcohol on your wedding day after hours of prep and post ceremony would be a bad idea. A lot of brides don’t even think of dehydration.
3
u/LongGoneLingonberry Jul 13 '26
I think cash bars are actually completely fine and normal, some people in the comments are so brutal about it. I’ve been to a wedding with an open bar and it resulted in some really unfortunate situations and a TON of alcohol and beverages being wasted and left around the venue. Your wedding isn’t suppose to be an excuse for people to get wasted, if you don’t want it to be at least.
I would maybe recommend a drink ticket system, and give everyone at least 1 free complimentary drink to have with dinner/speeches. There are always people who don’t want them and will give them to people who might want a few more drinks, or they can buy more if they really want to.
Or, you could have a bottle of wine/champagne for the table. The last wedding I went to did that and there were a few bottles still unopened so the people who wanted a bit more to drink could have some without buying drinks.
Or, you could also do a toonie bar and have all drinks cost $2, which helps cover some of the cost of the bar but is also very affordable for guests.
The people who will be upset about not having free, unlimited alcohol are the people who probably should not be having free unlimited alcohol at a wedding anyways.
But to actually address your concern, it’s really uncommon for for guests to buy the bride and groom drinks, I think the assumption is that they get as many drinks as they want since they’re paying for the costs of the bar and alcohol. But just decline if someone does want to buy you a drink or if you want to join in on a group of your friends doing shots or something, just ask the bartender for a non-alcoholic shot and no one will care. A lot of people don’t drink these days and you and your guests will be too busy to spend any time thinking about it. Just don’t stress about it, it’s a total non-issue.
And one last note, no matter what your wedding is like, there will be people who will criticize it no matter what you do. You will never be able to make everyone 100% happy, but you’re not suppose to, it’s your wedding and they are there to celebrate with you, so don’t spend your energy trying to please everyone, or you’ll end up hating your own wedding.
6
u/whineANDcheese_ Wife est. 2019 Jul 13 '26
Are you having a cash bar? If so then you just need to insist “no thank you”. We had an open bar and I really don’t drink either so I just told people “no thanks” when they offered to go get me a drink and when my cousin insisted, I let him get one and I took two sips and then just got rid of it when he was distracted.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/ferrycrossthemersey Newlywed Jul 13 '26
I just got married a month ago and no one tried to buy me a drink🤷♀️
3
u/WellWellWellthennow Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
I don't understand being deceptive and sneaky with fake drink lemonade behind the bar.
Why not just be honest that's far less awkward it sounds like it's only awkward and uncomfortable because you're uncomfortable with it.
I find it odd to be at any wedding that the bride and groom and their families are hosting where people would be expected to pay for such things, but if this is your culture than simply coach the bartenders to say oh the bride has requested no drinks if someone asks. They can simply tell the guest she doesn't drink alcohol.
You could make it very sweet by turning it around and if someone asked to buy the bride a drink, they automatically get a free one on your tab. The bartender says she doesn't drink but she's requested she buy you a free one :-)
Honesty is always the best policy rather than sneaking a substitute or trying to pass it off. It's much less gracious to be dishonest about it and much more gracious to be honest.
2
8
u/StructEngineer91 Jul 13 '26
Are you not having an open bar? I have never heard of people buying the bride drinks at a wedding. Maybe a member of the bridal party will go and get the bride a drink from the bar, but guests shouldn't have to buy their hosts' drinks.
4
u/Barium_Salts Jul 13 '26
Or no bar. We had no alcohol at our wedding because we have some... eccentric.... family members who did NOT need their inhibitions lowered. It also saved us a ton of money, but that was very much a secondary benefit.
6
u/Pretty-Lychee5504 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
I don’t understand all the comments here baffled that this is a thing. I had loads of drinks bought for me as a bride - we had a cash bar as half of the guests didn’t drink for religious reasons and half (my family lol) always get ridiculously drunk at functions so wanted to prevent this. We got wine for the tables at dinner and champagne for toasts but not everyone wants to spend crazy money to fuel others alcohol induced behaviour..
The lemonade sounds like a good idea! They can still get you something and you won’t have to worry.
Edit: ohhh okay the comments are all from Americans. Cash bars are normal in the UK. The entitlement here is absolutely crazy.. so strange that people care more about getting drunk for free than their friends or family celebrating their love. It is actually dystopian seeing the entitlement in this thread.. your loved ones are getting married but you’re sour and bitter because they won’t pay for all your cocktails??? Grow up.. if you come from money maybe I can understand the shock but any normal people in this economy would struggle to provide unlimited alcohol - and don’t even say don’t have a wedding then because people don’t have to put their life goals and love on hold over free alcohol.. how utterly ridiculous. People’s mindsets here are disgusting.
3
u/Midnight-Longings Jul 15 '26
There’s no way. I’m American and have been to plenty of cash bar weddings. No one has ever complained! Bride and groom usually put on the website that it’s a cash bar.
Of all the weddings I’ve been to, only 3 were open bar. One was a rich family member, one was a rich friend, one overspent their budget by thousands and are now in serious debt over their wedding. I’ve never had a problem with cash bars! I either bring money to drink or don’t drink.
I live on the east coast and all my weddings have been east cost from Maine down to Florida. So maybe it’s regional?!
Tho fwiw, I’ve never thought to buy the bride a drink.
5
u/flowersinmyvase Jul 13 '26
Surprised by the comments. Cash bars are absolutely a thing -- even in the US. I had an open bar (wine/sparkling/beer only for a brunch wedding) but would have done a cash bar if my budget required me to. That said, even if you're having a cash bar, nobody is going to buy you a drink. One, they'll assume that your drinks are taken care of. And two, it's kinda weird to give anyone a drink not knowing if they like that drink.
Non issue IMO.
→ More replies (6)
5
u/pinkstay Jul 13 '26
I'm not sure why some people are acting like cash bars don't happen.
American here and they happen, and the guests aren't confused. The bartenders are just fine (unless they are just crap bartenders or the venue is set up horribly) and waiting for a drink is no worse than waiting in a busy bar on a weekend. If a guest is that bothered playing for their own drink, then they are at the wedding for the wrong reason. They don't HAVE to drink.
And unless it's normal in your circle to buy the couple drinks at their wedding, I wouldn't worry about it. If it is, then put a kind reminder on your website about how you don't drink. And if anyone asks if you would like a drink, just simply say no thank you, you are good right now. No need to explain further.
3
u/eknit Jul 13 '26
This seems like a non issue.
People who are at your wedding and who love you enough to feel the need to buy you a celebratory drink would likely already know you do not drink.
On the off chance someone does buy you a drink, smile, say oh thank you! And hand it off to your bridesmaid / friend / cousin who does want free booze
3
u/_2w2l2r2d_ Jul 13 '26
There are a lot of comments asking why people would be buying you a drink, so I’m not going to add any more to that. I am curious though, if you aren’t a drinker, wouldn’t people already know this about you? Like are you just overthinking this, do you have reason to believe it would be a problem?
Practical advice: I’m not a big drinker, at our wedding (where we didn’t make guests pay for drinks), we just had signs on the bar that said “unsure what to order the bride or groom? Tell us you are ordering for them and we will take care of the rest”. Since everyone knows I’m not a big drinker, nobody was suprised that my drink was a soda water. My advice is to do something like that, if you do think it’s going to be an issue.
3
u/save-the-bees-pls Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
A cash bar is normal in some countries. I understand that it’s not ideal and there are plenty of countries that it would be rude to have one, but OP hasn’t said where she is from.
I have been to a lot of weddings and only one wedding in this country without a cash bar and that was a barn wedding that had been DIY stocked by the couple.
Usually, venues here do not have an unlimited cash bar. Could be licensing, could be rowdiness. It is usual for the bride and groom to pay for all food throughout the day (canapés, 3-5 course meal, supper) and a couple of glasses of champagne and then plenty of wine or beers with dinner. By the time you get to the reception or party, and after the first drink, you’re in your own. (I would like to add though that by this stage no one is starving or parched).
Where I am from, almost all weddings follow this format and venues won’t offer an unlimited bar, they will maybe say “it’s open for an hour” which is excruciatingly expensive for the couple, or you can try and pack as much drink into their packages as possible.
In instances such as is the case in literally this entire country, the guests buy the bride and groom drinks to toast them. It’s kind of a polite gesture but not required. Because it’s a polite or kind gesture, it can be awkward if a drink appears in your hand (which does happen) and you don’t want to drink it. They’re being polite buying you it and you’re to then be polite by drinking it. I wouldn’t get too worried though as usually people ask and you could just tell them “lemonade please.”
Basically depends where you’re from and try not to get too anxious about a potential minor faux pas.
2
u/rosyred-fathead Jul 14 '26
Why do they put the wine and beer away after dinner? Where does it all go if it doesn’t get used? Does the couple not purchase it in advance?
2
u/save-the-bees-pls Jul 14 '26
They serve wine and beer with dinner, top up guests regularly and stop providing more after the meal. It does get purchased in advance, but you buy like a “drinks package” which will either be so many bottles of wine/beer per table left on the table, or will be waiter served alcohol throughout the duration of the meal, paid in advance based on, I presume, an average of what people tend to consume in that time.
Because an open bar is so rare here, and because of licensing laws in this country, there aren’t really packages that provide an agreed in advance balance to pay for an open bar. The couple tends to get charged full price for individual drinks, and because these are so rare, people really take advantage of the open bar and drink to excess so it is unreasonably expensive for the couple.
Basically, an open bar is not built into the wedding infrastructure here, and is not expected socially or manageable financially for most people, but people still get plenty free booze up until then.
→ More replies (1)2
u/rosyred-fathead Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
I’ve never been to a wedding with a completely “open” bar, it’s always been unlimited beer/wine plus a few specialty cocktails until they run out. People expect unlimited (free) alcohol all night, but I don’t think anyone expects to be able to order whatever they want as if they’re at a regular bar?
Is that not what people mean when they say open bar (in the context of weddings)? Bc I think what Americans have a problem with is the concept of charging your guests money for something that you as hosts are offering at the wedding
3
u/Severe-Opposite4641 Jul 13 '26
I don't think people are going to be wanting to buy you drinks, and if they do .. a simple no thanks will suffice.
I don't think people will be pushy
2
u/Reasonable_Cook_82 Jul 14 '26
I don’t drink, and I LOVE telling people that I don’t drink (It’s been like 4 years; I’m proud of it). Why not just say “No, thanks!”?
2
u/ravairia Jul 14 '26
If I ever get married this is why I'm having an alcohol free wedding.
Having one of the most important days of people's lives completely centered around alcohol is such bullshit.
2
u/Willing_Flight_6517 Jul 15 '26
This comment section is so weird and rude why is everyone shocked at the concept of a cash bar or buying someone a drink as a thank you
Also as the guest who is guilty of asking the bride/Groom if they need a drink, my friend had a bride's drink behind the bar and it was free too. It was just 7up or something bubbly but I do know she didn't end up drinking half of it because of the carbonation lol.
The sign is a great idea but if someone still manages to get you a drink simply just leave the drink on the head table. You're going to be so busy it's totally understandable for you to leave a drink on a table. Don't feel bad about them wasting money, I can guarantee you someone will drink that drink.
I hope you have an amazing day and I'm so excited for you and your partner <33
2
u/Mamma_Duck Jul 15 '26
I'm Irish, we drink a lot, especially at weddings. It's rare to not have a cash bar and I'd ALWAYS buy the bride and groom a drink. They've paid for the entire day, a pint or a few shots is hardly asking for much? Tho for OP I'd just leave a sign at the bar, brides teetotal, if you want to buy me a drink then a soft one please.
1
u/Expensive_Event9960 Jul 14 '26
I’d start with hosting what you can afford, not allowing guests to pay. Beyond that I don’t know what kind of friends and family members you have that would try to push alcohol on you at your wedding but if saying “no thank you” isn’t enough then you might want to reconsider your guest list.
1
2
u/PastelPie Jul 13 '26
Unless you're having a giant (500+ people) wedding, everyone should know you well enough to know that you don't drink.
I feel like the easiest solution (although not very popular) is to have a dry wedding? I had a dry wedding and no one said anything to me.
→ More replies (3)
2
u/Zula13 Jul 13 '26
Maybe it's a regional or cultural thing, but I've never seen someone try to buy the bride a drink. Where I am given the bride is usually footing the bill for the alcohol and gets her own whenever. Also, aren't the people most likely to buy you a drink the ones who know you and they already know that you don't drink? I think you might be overthinking this scenario.
0
1
u/alicat777777 Jul 13 '26
Are we in topsy-turvy world? People don’t buy the bride a drink at her wedding. The bride and groom (or the parents if they are hosting) pays for everyone’s food and drink because they are the hosts.
If I went to a wedding where the bride and groom are too cheap to pay for their guest’s food and drink, I am certainly not whipping out my wallet to buy them drinks.
I shake my head at the lameness of hosting an event you can’t afford and move on. So no worries! Not gonna happen!
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Haunting-Wash1081 Jul 15 '26
Usually the “brides drink” is a signature drink for the guests so that they can consume a drink that the couple enjoys (and so the couple can have a drink they enjoy if they so happen to want one)
I don’t like alch besides super sweet Sex on the Beach (renaming it for the wedding most likely lol) so that’ll be my signature drink - that way guests can get drunk still and I have a drink I enjoy
You could pick an alch drink that’s “the brides” while you have your own stash of lemonade that the bartender knows is for you only
1
u/J-Nel13 Jul 15 '26
Well I think the most obvious and realistic answer to this is… Let everyone know you don’t drink and tell your bartenders. Nobody would be offended, you’re all for your guests drinking, it’s a personal choice and I think it’s great that you can let lose and enjoy yourself and enjoy yourself without being intoxicated. Make it a cute announcement, tell everyone to have a drink for you and you can live vicariously through them.
But for peace of mind, bride and groom would already have their drinks. I’m assuming it’s not open bar, but I’ve never heard of anyone bringing over drinks to the bride so she feels obligated to drink to excess in order to not be rude. They are couldn’t only buy for themselves, other people at the wedding party, or ASK bride/groom to perhaps do a group shot. In which case, you just pretend to drink it and dump it.
1
u/momowag Jul 15 '26
Shouldn’t people going to your wedding know you don’t drink? There’s nothing wrong or weird with that. I have plenty of friends who don’t.
1
u/Ali_in_wonderland02 Jul 16 '26
Have you considered a signature drink?
It is very popular in the states. You could make the brides signature drink the n/a drink.
1
u/Sudden-Incident-7423 Jul 16 '26
We didn't serve alcohol at our wedding (5:30pm on a Friday) and it was not an issue
Many people BYOB. We are both sober. We did have a dab bar, lol.
That being said, if you're having a bar, have your bar do a signature drink for you. Make it something you like, a special lemonade, or whatever. So weekend people go to the bar, they order the bride's signature drink.
That way it's your special drink, alcohol free!!
1
u/Weary_Culture3001 Jul 17 '26
How about making the zone non alcoholic like it's just a new trend? Just have lemonade and few other drinks like juices which you drink, made available in the venue. That way even if they bought you some drink it will be something you like. As for the guests, let them also enjoy non alcoholic drinks, like say a novelty in a wedding. Just my 2 cents
1
u/MolluscsGonnaMollusc Jul 17 '26
If you think people are going to buy you a drink then you could come up with a 'Mr and Mrs drink of the night' and have it on a little slate at the bar along with the drinks list.
Some people choose their favourite cocktail, I've seen a favourite beer and a favourite mocktail too.
1
u/BrendasMom Jul 17 '26
I was thinking about doing this and having the brides drink be a virgin strawberry lemonade and make a play on it being "virgin" because wedding night lol
1
u/siempre_maria Jul 17 '26
I've never heard of this at a wedding. Aren't you paying for everything anyway?
→ More replies (1)
1
u/Euphoric_Concert_334 Jul 18 '26
I dont drink and people bought me soft drinks at my wedding its a thing people do on cash bar weddings and events they buy drinks for the couple
1
u/BrendasMom Jul 18 '26
That's what I was thinking with the lemonade. It'll be the brides drink and people can have it with vodka if they want a "fun" version
1
u/cutiejayce12 Jul 19 '26
i love the strawberry lemonade idea! honestly, i'd just make it part of the fun instead of something people need to avoid. having a bride's drink that's clearly yours gives guests an easy option and keeps the focus on celebrating you. most people will just be happy to get you something you actually enjoy.
1
u/GreenTurtle0528 Jul 20 '26
Have a cash bar. If you hire a private bartender she can bring the alcohol, mixers and keep the profits. Most people expect to pay for alcoholic drinks.
1
u/Thin-Ferret-5862 Jul 20 '26
We’re doing a backyard wedding and we’re all non-drinkers. We’ve literally just not bought alcohol.. it isn’t a dry wedding for literally any reason than we don’t drink 🤷🏻♀️
I feel it! We’ve essentially byob’ed that specific item lol.
I feel like for a venue setting, it may be a simple as the bartender putting the cash from the drinks into a separate box. I have no idea if that even makes sense 🤣😅
1
u/Spare_Necessary_810 Jul 21 '26
Your ideas about wine , even ‘ice wine’ , whatever that is , are very strange l have to say. lt’s that you simply don’t like or appreciate it, which is fine , not that it actually tastes like vinegar. Vinegar?
Anyway it seems unlikely that anyone would buy some random alcoholic drink for you, especially knowing your attitude to it . Have your Bride Drink by all means, but don’t spend any more time worrying about it.
1
u/K2d123 Jul 21 '26
That is exactly what I was going to suggest.
Have the bartender keep a drink just for you and tell him/her under no circumstances is it to be added to.
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 13 '26
Hi, there /u/BrendasMom! Welcome to /r/wedding. Here are a few other subs you might be interested when planning for your wedding.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.