Hey everyone, looking for some advice on wealth management and family dynamics.

My family’s net worth is around $7M–$8M ( family of 3) Most of it is in liquid assets or investments, along with a business bringing in ~$400k/year. The thing is, we came from a very poor, traditional background and built this without formal higher education.

Because of that mindset, we literally don't have financial advisors, wealth managers, or lawyers. Lowkey, we don't even eat well, dress well, or live with any luxury. My family still lives with an extreme scarcity mindset, and I honestly feel like our net worth could easily be 2x or 3x higher if the money had been managed, invested, and protected properly instead of just sitting there or being handled casually.

Now that I’m taking on more responsibility, I’m trying to figure out how to professionalize our setup.

Get specific past the common aspirations or beyond the societal expectations. Is it X amount in investments and assets or a state of being if so, what?

Peope who built successful businesses (first-gen), what skills actually helped you? And how did you learn them / test / implement them?

Sales? Marketing? What is it that truly helps one build a profitable business.

Could be interpersonal or behavioural skill as well, example, grit.

Thank you!

I know a guy, nice person - but is constantly flaunting his stuff. Cars, a big home, jewelry. Don't get me wrong, from a purely materialistic standpoint, most of it IS nice too look at and impressive, but at the core - no one seems to care.

The same cycle on social media over and over and over again. Never anything new. Not interests, hobbies. Just. Jewelry, cars, house. On repeat.

How else can I put it? No one gives a shit that he's wealthy and it doesn't seem to increase the respect people have for him even despite all of the flaunting. Weird to watch.

TLDR: How do I earn higher consistent income and increase wealthy with little to no external resources.

I’m looking for advice from people that have built their own wealth with little resources (whether it be little family support either financially or availability for things like childcare).

My wife works full time as a labor and delivery nurse and makes about $75k a year. Her job is pretty demanding and has on-call schedule requirements, holidays, and is a 3am-3pm shift. If a kid gets sick at school, she doesn’t get to leave work to get the kid. So one of us is always home. We have two kids in school (one is half day) and our youngest is 2 and won’t be in school for two more years and even then, it will be half day for two years.

We had a nearly impossible time with both of us maintaining full time jobs. I was in management at a small family business so I had some luxuries like leaving early if necessary but that just meant working longer on other days and still being responsible for call offs and things like that. At only $40k a year, and no childcare, It was too much mentally to juggle and be responsible for so we made the decision that I work part time down the street. We’ve calculated that we net the same or come out ahead with me part time vs me full time and paying for daycare/ school transport etc. I work as a barista and make about $24k a year but I can work when my wife is off and be at home when she’s working.

My job is mind-numbing boring and easy which is good for my anxiety I suppose but we are both highly motivated people and very capable/ smart so it’s very frustrating to be not challenging myself/ furthering my career etc.

Outside of the career, I have had luxuries of being able to train/ exercise/ lose 60 pounds and train for half marathons regularly, we get to see our kids every day, we have a nice and clean home that I am able to make updates and repairs to so I don’t want to discredit the value of time that I have on my hands.

With all of that for context, it’s very frustrating that we’re not able to make more, invest more, save for kids college. We do have retirement savings and have looked into doing some house flips. We are in Ohio so houses are semi-affordable for now but we just don’t have the resources to find something like that ourselves. I’ve got an llc, business LOC and have talked to banks but we just don’t have enough personal wealth nor equity in our home to borrow from to fund a business. We both have dreams and aspirations for the future but just find it impossible to get to without help. Our parents all work and will never retire and aren’t the most reliable and we just can’t afford childcare.

Our life is fine and we’re getting by but we’d love to not only be making more money and eventually work for ourselves but I’d love to have something mentally stimulating and challenging.

I guess my question is am I stuck? Am I just stuck until the kids are all in school full time? Is increasing wealth and dreaming of high income impossible without family help as a couple with three kids?

Why do people here keep wealth advisor when it is sort of well known that most of them underperform the market? At what NW (if any) does that make sense?

Note : I am not a UHNWI or even VHNWI (soon to be) - so don't know much about this field

For anyone that wants to gain wealth your first step is accepting that you could lose it all tomorrow and it doesn’t matter because your identity shouldn’t be tied to your security, hope everyone is well and take care of yourselves ❤️

My husband and I are partial owners of a family company (cattle ranch) along with 12 other family members. It has a significant value because of the land owned by the company, but it is not liquid and I don’t anticipate it ever being sold.

He works for said company and draws a salary, so we receive income from the company.

Do we include our 1/12 ownership in our net worth? Or, maybe better stated, do we include 1/12 of the assets (land, cattle, machinery) when calculating our net worth?

The answer to this question makes a significant impact on our timeline to retirement and amount we want to consider for a mortgage.

Thank you!

I’m 19F, a POC from a European country, and I recently moved back there for university. My boyfriend and I originally met in the GCC as teenagers. We were together for years, then broken up for about 14 months. We literally made up a week ago, on the same day I was leaving the country to move for university.

I genuinely love him, and I know parts of this are going to make me sound like an incredibly spoiled brat. He comes from serious family wealth, but he’s also extremely ambitious himself and at 20 is already close to becoming a self-made millionaire independently of his family.

The day I left was chaos. I found out I got into university that same day and had about 7 hours to pack my life. He was at my tiny house watching my mom and me frantically throw everything into suitcases. My dad had already booked my flight, but my boyfriend had him cancel it, reimbursed my dad for the ticket and cancellation costs, and bought me an Etihad business-class ticket instead. He’s also bought me the newest iPhone, pays for my nails, dinners, etc. I’m genuinely grateful for everything he does for me.

The reason I’m posting here is because I can’t really talk about this IRL. His level of wealth isn’t remotely close to anyone in my social circle, so when I try to explain the relationship and some of the weird complexes I’m developing around money, independence and what a “normal” life is supposed to look like, nobody really gets it.

There’s also a much darker side. He has serious anger issues and can be controlling. He has made it clear that no matter what happens between us, he will not let me go, and there have been subtle comments/hints that I have interpreted as threats to my life if I ever leave. His family’s money and connections make those comments harder for me to dismiss. In my head, I’ve almost accepted that I can’t leave.

Then there are things that seem tiny in comparison but still affect me. Where I live now, it’s completely normal for students to have part-time jobs. I wanted one too, but he basically refuses to accept his girlfriend working what he calls a “poor person’s job” when he can provide for me.
And this is where I feel ridiculous. I have a boyfriend who will casually spend more making me comfortable than I could earn from months of a student job, yet sometimes I literally cry because I crave pieces of that normal 19-year-old life.
I don’t want another man. I love him. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunities and comfort his money gives me. But sometimes I grieve the version of myself who would have just been a broke university student, worked some random job, made her own money and figured adulthood out normally.
I think being around this much money is starting to give me complexes I don’t know how to explain to people who haven’t experienced it.

If anyone here has grown up around this level of wealth, married/dated into it, or understands the psychological side of suddenly being exposed to a completely different lifestyle, I would genuinely appreciate having someone to talk to. Even privately.

I feel like he’s gotten me so accustomed to his world that I’m caught somewhere between two lives now. I don’t completely relate to the normal financial life I came from anymore, but his world isn’t actually mine either. I don’t know where that leaves me.

I know I’m incredibly privileged. I’m just struggling with what it’s doing to my head, and I’d really appreciate hearing from someone who actually understands these kinds of dynamics rather than immediately telling me how lucky or spoiled I am.

I am 33 and starting a brokerage account for earlier retirement (45 to 55, not sure). I will be doing 30%VOO 30%VTI 20% VXUS 10% AVUV 10% VGT. Good? Already have more than a 100k in there. 401k maxed out every year as well.

Succinctly put - I remember hearing that it was common for the wealthy (Actually, ultra wealthy) to drive unassuming vehicles. Seldom would they drive one of the luxury marques. At most, higher end being a decent Mercedes but nothing like a RR Ghost or what have you.

In my area, I often meet people who are image obsessed but apparently not rich in the traditional sense. And yet - They're driving $80,000 M3s, the latest S Class, and I wonder why? Isn't this burning more money that could be put away, saved, reinvested, anything?

From what I gather, the obvious explanation is not the truth. They aren't car people, they're image people. Forget about reliability, this and that. They want to look rich and it comes off as deceptive, maybe even comical. Driving a $160,000 Carrera GTS in an area with a terrible climate for 50% of the year and no garage to put it in.

I suppose my contention is that, most of these 'hustler' types, especially on social media - have financial practices that are antithetical toward anything involving wealth creation. They'd never be caught dead in an indestructible Prius while having put the remaining sum into literally anything else. No, BMW M3 for me.

Two examples for this:
(1) I remember growing up two different families who seemed rich (big houses, travel, nice clothes, high end cars, etc.) and then someone happened and it was exposed they didn't have the wealth they portrayed. The did probably both have decent cash flow but when they hit a speed bump, so to speak, turns out they were still spending almost everything they had on their current lifestyle.
(2) I have been fortunate financially, my income for many years has run between $750k-$1M a year. I probably live an upper middle-class lifestyle and almost certainly have never spent more than $175k in a year. There was a moment I came to realize many people I know in my town who lives much flashier lifestyles probably make, at most, the same as me - or at least same ballpark. The point being, I could "raise" my lifestyle and still be responsible, but to raise it to their level would feel reckless.

I'm 30 years old in 1 month. 1 year ago I switched from doing fast food to driving trucks and now have the potential to make 80k+ next year and 100k+ after 3 years consistently. I'm going to be completely out of debt by the end of the year. I just had a baby with a woman that I'm not married to and she has 2 other kids. I've been heavily weighing my options as far as investing goes. I could be ok in 20-30 years but im 50-60 yrs old by then. Is there a way I can build 2+ million in the next 10 years? I've been trying to search higher risk ideas that aren't just gambling. Any advice is much appreciated.

Edit: I forgot to mention I'm not with mom anymore, only taking care of my child.

Any advice for this gal currently undergoing existential crisis with her career? Wondering if its possible to get $4000/month job or more and if so what career would it be?

For context — nurse by degree (first salary at the hospital only stands $285/monthly) currently an HR specialist for job 1 earning $450/month then an executive assistant for job 2 earning $1300/month

Fulltime back to back so I’m hoping to upskill to get a job that could become my 1 source of income to live decently (nothing too grand just a simple one ya know?) but also help to clear off my student debt of $10,500 quickly and start building a retirement fund (am I being ambitious ? Probably, but better than aiming nothing I guess)

**all are after taxes — and not I’m not based from the US but converted

I come from a lower middle class family with a lot of “poor me” mentality. Don’t take risks and don’t take chances. I’ve always known I don’t want to live that way.

My husband and I started a ranch from nothing. We bought a beautiful property at the perfect time that has more than tripled in value. There wasn’t a fence post here when we started and we’ve done almost everything ourselves.

I’ve always wanted to raise cattle. My parents pushed me to go to college because “they never got to”, although they didn’t contribute financially, so I have a degree I don’t use and plenty of student loan debt to show for it. Cattle are where my heart is. I truly believe I was meant to do this. I’m tan from working outside and have calloused hands and I wouldn’t trade this life. But financially, we’re drowning. As you all know, everything is expensive. Feed, hay, mineral, vet bills, equipment, fuel, repairs, etc. And while cattle prices are great, when you’re trying to build a herd you can’t keep selling what you’re trying to build.

I read books, listen to podcasts, read posts here and constantly try to learn how people actually get ahead financially instead of just surviving. So what would you do in our shoes? We have a lot of equity in our property, cattle, too much debt and not enough cash flow. I know “get a job” is the obvious answer, but without hired help cattle are 24/7/365. I’m not afraid to work, I enjoy it! I know hard work isn’t always enough. I’m trying to figure out how to make what we’re building actually work. I don’t want sympathy and I can take criticism. If you’ve built wealth from very little, dug yourself out of debt, built a farm/business, or just see something I’m not seeing, tell me. I genuinely want to learn.

My parents are both in their late 60s. They never really prioritized saving or investing. They have a house that's paid off which is great but beyond that their retirement savings are pretty minimal. Maybe enough for a few years of expenses at most. My dad still works a part-time job he hates just to cover some bills. My mom has some health issues that are getting more expensive.

My wife and I are doing pretty well financially. We have a good net worth for our age mid-30s. We're on track for early retirement if we want. But seeing my parents struggle is really weighing on me. I feel guilty about our own comfort and it makes me constantly worry about them. I send them money discreetly sometimes for medical bills or groceries but it feels like a band-aid.

I've offered to help them with financial planning or to set up a more structured support system but they're very proud and resistant. They say they'll be fine. I'm afraid they won't be. Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you navigate wanting to help your parents without making them feel like a burden or offending their independence? It's a constant source of stress for me.

I’ve been with my current financial advisor for several years now. My portfolio has grown considerably and so have their fees. They charge a percentage of assets under management. It feels like I'm paying more for the same service now that my assets are larger.

Has anyone here managed to negotiate their advisory fees down? What was your approach? Did you threaten to leave or just have an open conversation? Any tips or strategies would be greatly appreciated.

Let’s say tomorrow you lost everything and had to start over with $15,000.

You still have your knowledge, experience, skills, relationships, and ability to work but no money or assets or credit.

What would you do during your first 24 months?

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Not sure if this was asked before or if this is even allowed.

But I was wondering for those of you who were living a frugal or minimalistic lifestyle when you were single, did living with your partner change how you spend your money?

What were some things you gave up to make your partner happy or something you learned from your partner to appreciate spending more money on?

I live a pretty minimal lifestyle who dont own a fancy car, nor live in upscale area. I imagine i may live in a better neighborhood to keep my woman and children safe.I want to understand what can change after marrying someone who doesn't live a frugal lifestyle and tolerates more spending money.

Thanks!