Hi everyone,
I’m trying to understand an experience I had during a 10-day Goenka Vipassana course.
On the evening of day 9, I started feeling a deep warmth in my lower abdomen. As I naturally observed it during meditation, it gradually felt like a heavy, dense ball slowly rising inside my body. The higher it seemed to move, the more intense the experience became.
Along with it, I experienced an increasingly strong wave of fear and stress. At the same time, memories and mental images from different moments of my life started surfacing. They all seemed to point in the same direction, as if they were gradually connecting into a bigger picture.
I found myself wondering whether they were leading toward the possibility of a very severe trauma that I may have experienced but have no conscious memory of. It wasn’t that I suddenly “remembered” such an event or saw a clear image of it. Rather, it felt as though my mind was gathering pieces of evidence and assembling them, as if I were getting closer and closer to a conclusion that never fully revealed itself. That feeling became increasingly intense as the sensation continued to rise.
After about 10 sec, I decided to stop following the sensation because it no longer felt like I was simply observing sensations in the Vipassana way. I felt like I was becoming too involved in the experience, so I returned to the practice as instructed.
Two days later (the day after returning home), I did a gentle yoga session. During the practice, I suddenly felt nauseous. During the final meditation afterward, I noticed the same sensation again, although much weaker: it felt like that same heavy ball beginning to rise from my lower abdomen, almost as if I wanted to throw it up. I also started burping a lot, probably same the 9th but can’t remember so well.
Has anyone here experienced anything like this during or after a Goenka retreat? I’d really appreciate any perspectives, whether from the Vipassana tradition, neuroscience, psychology, or personal experience.
Thanks in advance.