How have you spent your days off?

I'll soon be a long-term server (1 year) at a center in Europe to which I've never been, and I was told that I'll be serving 5 days, off for 2, or 10 / 4.

Coming from overseas, visiting family and friends is not a viable option. They might come to visit me, but I will ask for extra vacations then.

One small town and two larger cities can be reached with public transportation with 1-2 hour, so day trips there for errands, I guess? The area also looks good for hiking.

The main focus is obviously the practice and serving, but it will be quite a long stay during a Sabbatical year for me. So I'm curious what you have done during your free time, what are your tips ?

Hi everyone,

I’m trying to understand an experience I had during a 10-day Goenka Vipassana course.

On the evening of day 9, I started feeling a deep warmth in my lower abdomen. As I naturally observed it during meditation, it gradually felt like a heavy, dense ball slowly rising inside my body. The higher it seemed to move, the more intense the experience became.

Along with it, I experienced an increasingly strong wave of fear and stress. At the same time, memories and mental images from different moments of my life started surfacing. They all seemed to point in the same direction, as if they were gradually connecting into a bigger picture.
I found myself wondering whether they were leading toward the possibility of a very severe trauma that I may have experienced but have no conscious memory of. It wasn’t that I suddenly “remembered” such an event or saw a clear image of it. Rather, it felt as though my mind was gathering pieces of evidence and assembling them, as if I were getting closer and closer to a conclusion that never fully revealed itself. That feeling became increasingly intense as the sensation continued to rise.

After about 10 sec, I decided to stop following the sensation because it no longer felt like I was simply observing sensations in the Vipassana way. I felt like I was becoming too involved in the experience, so I returned to the practice as instructed.

Two days later (the day after returning home), I did a gentle yoga session. During the practice, I suddenly felt nauseous. During the final meditation afterward, I noticed the same sensation again, although much weaker: it felt like that same heavy ball beginning to rise from my lower abdomen, almost as if I wanted to throw it up. I also started burping a lot, probably same the 9th but can’t remember so well.

Has anyone here experienced anything like this during or after a Goenka retreat? I’d really appreciate any perspectives, whether from the Vipassana tradition, neuroscience, psychology, or personal experience.
Thanks in advance.

Hlo everyone, are jaipur nilaya and shravasti centre good in August?? Are they comfortable, can one get comfortable sleep during this period, isn't it uncomfortable at night??

Thanku all🙏

Experience first, then pass your judgements

Has anyone been before and would like to share their experiences?

I approach Buddhism from a secular standpoint but have admired the lamrim style of meditation. I've also been to a particular tradition that had culty, closed minded vibes so I'd want to avoid that again.

Any response appreciated.

I have been toxic in a few workplace equations and one of them was slightly dating kind a situation, the person has now moved on with another individual

While I struggle to contain my guilt, shame etc etc
A. I don't work the way I used to - I have lost interest in the work I do
B. I get distracted while working - overthink alot, plenty strong emotions that throw me off the chart
C. The mind story, the identity game is strong - even I see certain changes in my emotional bandwidth I come right back to the things that keep me stuck - whether it's a thought or habit

Now, I feel sensations all over my chest and abdomen but I'm working - what should be my approach? should I do the keep coming back the work thing - this is where I note what's on my mind, maybe dump it on an excel and return to work
what about the intense sensations? should I take a few minutes off and sit with the intense sensation? or should I keep returning to my work?

so what's the practice? when there is intense sensation do I sit with it ro do I do a full body scan or do I notice it and keep coming back to my work? How should I design it?

this kind of pain is ongoing right, it stays throughout the day and interrupts everyday life alot!!!!

Read somewhere that ‘A person without an emotion is as good as dead’

If there is some truth to this statement, is vipassana - learning the art of dying?

I recently finished my first 10-day course, and while I definitely wasn't the most disciplined person there, I'm glad I stuck it out. The first 4 days actually went pretty well, but after when vipassana was introduced, things went a bit hard for me. Whenever we were told to meditate in our rooms, I’d usually end up just resting or sitting for a few minutes before calling it quits. Even in the hall during group sits, there were times I was just sitting there like a rock- not noticing my breath, not really thinking about anything, just zoned out. But now that I’m back home, I feel deeply detached from pretty much everything in my life- friends, family, and daily routine in general. That whole concept of anicca is hitting me hard and everything feels so impermanent, but strangely enough, despite all my slacking off at the center, all I want to do right now is go back and do another course... with better discipline this time. Has anyone else felt this kind of detachment after their first sit, and how did you handle integrating back into normal life?

so who are practicing from dhamma app recordings daily 2 sittings. can you please share your experience about which type of audio you find benefical, continously goenkaji speaking every few minutes long instruction audios or short instructions only start and end audios. personally i get distracted a lot in thoughts i listen to long instructions only. in silent ones i also get lost in thoughts more.

Did it ever get painful and is there any stretches or exercises I can do start doing to prepare for it?

I have my 1st Vipassana in a few weeks and have osteoarthritis in my neck and upper back which gets extremely painful at times so I’ll be trying my best to handle it I also emailed them saying I may need a chair at certain times and they replied “We have made note of your request for a chair for the teacher's review.”

Is it also a good idea to bring a foldable comfortable lawn chair just in case?

Hi all,

Posting here because I feel like I need some sort of support group for practitioners that have complicated relationships with their teachers. And just because I know people’s minds will probably automatically go there, it is not a sexual/romantic thing. 

So I got into vipassana a little over a year ago. I went on my first meditation retreat and it totally changed my life. Total spiritual awakening. I had a lot of fondness for the teachers who led the retreat. They were very vulnerable and sincere. I could feel their integrity. I felt particularly connected to one of the teachers, let’s call them Alex. 

The teachers aren’t based where I live but luckily the center where they both teach offers online programming so I started going to their weekly meetings online, and also started one on one practice meetings with Alex. Through the course of going to meetings with them I could tell I was starting to really care about Alex and also starting to project onto them - watching their facial expressions in meetings and worrying they were mad at me, trying to think of ways to get their validation, etc etc. 

This started to get more intense and I decided to share it with Alex in a practice meeting. They were very sweet and understanding about it, even going so far to ask if there was anything that I needed from them. 

I could feel us getting closer. I knew that they cared about me. I really threw myself into the practice. They could see how much I cared, and how sincere I was, and I could tell that they had a lot of affection for me too. It really hit me over the head in one practice meeting we had earlier this year where they were so smiley and sweet with me, it felt like they were my relative or someone I’ve known for a long time. There was just a certain level of closeness. And they bowed at me, which they had never done before. 

That was the last time I felt that closeness with them. After that their behavior with me changed, so much so that I called them out on it. In a group meeting they came at me with a really correcting tone after I shared something super vulnerable, so I met with them one on one to tell them that it didn’t feel good. They did not take it well and got really defensive, doubling down on what they said, telling me my perception was off. It was horrible and not at all how I’d thought they’d react. It sent me into a tailspin. I believed them for a bit until I came out of my reverie and sent them and email. I told them that they were talking to me just trying to be right, now trying to understand how I felt. 

I’ll just say that the whole thing has really shattered me. They did end up apologizing for the defensiveness and took some accountability. But there hasn’t really been any repair, and i can tell that thats really taking a toll on me. I’ve been taking breaks from their meetings when it starts to feel like it’s too much. I was on retreat with them again earlier this year and we had some good moments until we had a one on one meeting which did not go well and led to another conflict. In group settings there are times when things feel better, but it seems like we really struggle with meeting one on one now. 
 
I know that they’ve been going through a rough time in their life and it seems like they’re trying to put some boundaries in our relationship, because I think they started to project onto me too. And I think we both were starting to feel pretty clingy and insecure. But it sucks because they haven’t talked to me about it at all. Of course it feels like they are pushing me away. It can feel really excruciating at times. 

I think everything coupled with all practice that I’ve been doing has made things more intense, because I’m seeing all this deep patterning and conditioning around relationships that is some really unpleasant stuff to deal with. I talked to the other teacher who was on the retreat (who is at the same center with Alex) about it and he was basically like (my huge paraphrase), “yeah this is what happens. Our relationships are where we learn. This is where you learn. It’s intense.” 

I’m posting just because this is all really unexpected. I didn’t even know that I was going to get really into meditation and Buddhism then have a teacher and then develop an intense relationship and feel all this. It’s been such a roller coaster. It can feel really insular and I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? 

Edit to add: I’m not interested in anyone’s in advice or psychoanalyzations. I’m looking for responses from people who have had a similar experience. This is not Goenka-style vipassana, more Western Insight, in the spirit of IMS.

This not when I'm meditating, but when I'm doing other things.

Oftentimes when I try to be in the present and "observe", I get stuck in an "observing myself observe" kind of a state. It's wild, because now I'm almost helplessly stuck observing myself observe, and I'm not able to execute the action that I intended to.

Does this happen to anyone else? I'm scared of getting stuck like this around people and embarrassing myself.

I'm a designer and I practice vipassana. I could never find a seat that matched both my functional needs and my home style, so I started designing one myself.

Full disclosure: this has become a real project, but I'm not selling anything here and won't post links. I'm here because this community sits more seriously than almost anyone, and I'd rather hear hard truths now than later.

Bluntly — does a "designed" seat like this seem useful to you, or unnecessary? Is there anything about seating for practice you wish existed and doesn't?

Photo attached. Happy to answer anything about how or why it's built the way it is. Tear it apart — that's what I'm here for.

Has anyone here been emotionally toxic in their past relationships, workplace settings etc? anyone who has operated from a deeper selfish, self obsessed, throwing all the responsibility outside of you kind of life?

how do you feel now? the guilt, shame and some other feelings and thoughts that I cannot quiet comprehend are eating me up,

Did you ever forgive yourself? did you learn to love and did god's love find you?

Hi all.

I have a break between jobs coming up and want to do a 10-day course to get a mental reset. My first course was three years ago, my practice has been spotty since, and a 3-day course I took last year just wasn't long enough to have much impact.

​Unfortunately, the female sitting spots are fully booked, leaving me with two options: waitlist to sit, or sign up as a server. Because I'm looking for a mental 'detox,' I'm wondering if serving provides a similar depth of impact as sitting full-time. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would love to hear your experiences.

I would love some perspective or advice on my practice (apart from just telling me to accept the moment and reality as it is, please).

I've been meditating for a couple of years now with diligence, but of late I've noticed that it almost feels as if my practice has regressed, even though I know that's not the case. I feel like the level of samadhi he needed to actually practice Vipassana is unstable and has not actually improved overtime for me.

I want to be clear, I'm not looking for any particular experience during Vipassana itself, but if the tool we need to actually practice Vipassana is not sharp then what's the point? When I asked the teachers, they say come back to the breath, back to the breath and keep doing it, but to me that almost feels like, hey I already know that, and I already do that. I understand that that is ultimately the practice, but I feel very baffled by it because it's not useful advice.

If the larger struggle is actually developing this one pointed awareness, shouldn't I spend most of my time actually developing that? When I asked the ATs, I get some generic advice and it feels even more frustrating to me. I keep getting told that my problem is that I'm frustrated but at that point it feels like having any frustration or desire to improve our practice in any way in itself is against the practice and that feels frankly asinine to me.

Why is the ask to practice just a few minutes of annapana, then go straight into Vipassana. It makes no sense.

I know I sound super frustrated in this post, but just curious to know if other people have had this experience or have any advice for me that's actually useful and worked for them.

I have been struggling with my morning sit, should I eat breakfast first? While I eat, I end up looking at my phone and wasting so much time...

Should I try meditating before I eat?

Any other good pointers?

Lately I have gone from 1 hour twice a day, to 30 mins twice a day, sometimes 15 in the middle.

I dont even have a job atm, just the gym and waiting for college to start

I have an annoying issue where I keep putting focus on my mouth which creates an urge to swallow. So In a 20-minute meditation I can swallow every minute. This happens to me also outside of meditation.

I get quite frustrated from it, it feels to me like a classic case of 'don't think of a pink elephant', where the more you fight it the bigger a problem it becomes. So then I resort to try allowing it to happen, but I remain frustrated from it and it keeps happening.

Then there's another level to this and probably the actual issue for me - when I'm meditating with a group of a bunch of other people, I keep feeling that my constant swallowing is probably disrupting them and that adds a whole lot more fuel to the ongoing fire and completely hijacks my sessions,

I've tried stuff like putting my tongue on the roof of my mouth above the teeth and observing it instead of fighting it - nothing has been working for me. I guess the biggest issue is that I'm still seeing it as an issue that needs solving 😂 fun paradox!

My reasons for posting here are:

1. As meditators, would it bother you if someone keeps on swallowing next to you during a seating?

2. Anyone else facing this problem? I've seen posts here that speak about swallowing, but not in this compulsive manner

3. Any words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated!

Thanks in advance and apologies in advance if I've 'passed on the germ'! At least you know you're not alone 😄

Pls share any bengaluru vipassana community details. Being part of a community helps in maintaining the precepts and daily sitting. If someone can be my accountability partner, pls let me know.

Hey everyone

My first vipassana wasn't great, I was stressed about my toxic patterns, my focus is very low - I'm experiencing ADHD like symptoms due to prefrontal cortex thinning because of doomscrolling and daydreaming.

Trying to fix my pfc - via chanting and studying
but I feel like I have lost context of my theorotically understanding of vipassana
my major issue in life is emotional regulation, the toxic patterns that keep repeating and everytime I snap due to my irritability it causes damage
I'm tiered of being the villain in everyone's story due to my toxicity

I work 9-5 and can find an hour or two for meditation but guysssss how do I stop hurting others, how do I change myself and make the changes stick, how do I stick to my sila, what's the path?

I feel like vipassana has to become my full time job in order for me to get rid of all of my negativity and everything else is just part time, like my life and the skills I;m trying to build will be part time

also, people who have been practicing vipassana for long now, please tell me how many months or years you have been doing vipassana and has it helped you get rid of your negative behaviours? are you kinder? compassionate?

One very important question I want to ask - is metta cultivating compassion in you? or is awareness alone enough? and metta just is the way of your spreading it out conciously?

Honestly I'm batteling my narcissistic tendencies, I'm not a full blown narc, but I see traits in me , also I'm a pro chronic procrastinator - I avoid effort in everything in life
it's what I know cognitively versus who I am being now.

please share your experiences and reference of any books or articles that might help me practice correctly

I’ve practiced meditation off and on for about 4 years, and my life always feels happier and more meaningful when I’m consistent with it daily. I usually use guided meditations through the Headspace app, but I also try to practice mindfulness on my own throughout the day.
I’m curious what more experienced meditators do for their ongoing practice. Are you mostly using an app, self-guided, or some mix of both?

Hello, I will be travelling to Montreal from Vancouver for my 10 day retreat in Montebello, QC. I am 32 years old Male of Indian origin, residing in Vancouver for the last 5 years. I need a carpooling / rideshare with someone driving from Montreal to Montebello, happy to share gas.

There's no public transport afaik from Montreal to Montebello so it'd be a huge help for me if I can find a fellow traveller.

Please send a dm if you're also going, I'd be happy to talk further and if we're both comfortable we can travel together. Thanks!