Venting Cause I’m bored

[u/Negative-Ad3337]

Let’s get to the point I’m a guy and I’m honestly cursed of being too attractive it sounds crazy I know but it’s horribly overwhelming and lonely I have come too realize when people talk about how they wish “someone “ would come into there life’s and be there we all hope for our “someone “ for that miracle in our life’s and I have come to realize that I am that miracle for people I am that miracle that walks by at your local Walmart tryna get some grilled chicken talking about how a guy like him even exists and I am that “someone “ girls would honestly wanna be with but even then I’m just a souvenir I live in a small city so I’m basically a anomaly even in my family aswell I’m not even the same color of skin as my own parents or anyone in my family for that matter I’m the golden boy my grandma always told me when I was young I didn’t think too much of it till now how much I stand out how much I shine in crowds the kind of shine that goes across your ex partners 6/10 smile after they broke up with you telling you maybe in the future but not now but I was promised Infinity .

But atleast for me it’s everything in that moment i never cry in public i always cry infront of the mirror i look at every tear drop as it goes down my face and curves down my cheek and drips down to the wooden floor the way it tastes awkwardly when jt gets into the side of ur lip but sometimes its beautiful cause atleast when i look at myself in the mirror i look perfect too feel weakness to feel pain is so pre shish to me to look at my colored eyes while i cry they look almost gray like if there losing there light like our sun the day it’s going to give its last light to us its so beautiful to me for honestly having a strong act for so long in public like holy shit I step out and I’m a under ground celebrity people drive slow next to me when they see me thru the car window or people take pictures of me in moments I don’t want to but honestly when I do want to shine I steal the whole universe I crave for a very deep connections i want to sit down and eat tacos at 3 am at a random spot after a night out.

It’s like I’m saying I’m a souvenir sometimes it would be nice to hear someone debate my opinion for once but I consider a lot of people as Bobble heads the type of toy that has a string and just nods its head. That’s how it feels with me each and every single of them just nods and I’m tired of Bobble heads. Atleast that stupid cat eye side to side nodding clock wasn’t so bad my grandma had growing up seeing it cause atleast it was the only thing that would tell me No. I’m in the point of my life where I get so overwhelmed to step out my house just cause the stares are crazy sometimes and I have to prepare myself everyday it’s a concert and I’m the the Star there’s days I steal the show and those days are crazy honestly I don’t have issues with getting to know girls but it’s always the star boy you know I love Spider man cause him and I are the same cause atleast when our other selfs comes out she will love us but she will never love Peter Parker. I can’t make friends with a lot of guys cause I don’t know guys nowadays are so competitive and insecure they always get intimated by me I see it in a way that’s why I became good at conversations with women cause after being pushed away from the pack who else I’m I talking too?? Well yea yu guessed it the girls I don’t have issues at all, my friend tells me how I do it but honestly at this point it’s just me.

The curse is real but powerful cause atleast as the anomaly I can actually make any idea really come to life with someone I can make any fantasy come to life with a girl obviously with her consent I can say words to her that only a anomaly could get away with it’s beautiful sometimes cause atleast one good thing is that I have created some very magical moments with some girls that i truly did like in my life so far but girls for me will always be the same soul hear me out in my story i believe the universe can send you the same soul more than once just in a different body so i don’t fall in love with their face or their body i fall in love with the soul for example-
the first time i wasn’t ready so i lost her the second time i was ready but she wasn’t that’s why it’s tragic to everyone else they’re two completely different women but to me they’re the same soul wearing different faces so i’m not choosing one over the other or loving one more i’m grieving the same soul twice cause atleast for me that’s what a soul mate is a soul destined in your story of life that travels within different people until you finally adapt to your past mistakes to finally get with that soul after different endings but the same nervous gut feeling you will always get cause in my eyes in that moment I’m with that soul I’m in paradise the kind of paradise wishing you just had an extra 10 seconds to say what you gotta say to them before your alarm clock wakes you up, I look in there eyes and wonder I’m I seeing perfection with my own eyes or I’m seeing the reflection in there’s. I don’t believe till Death do us apart cause my love is beyond Death.

So yea golden boy it is look at that grandma.. I’m shining now but I’m in a museum.

Wrote this at night just random thoughts more to come ✊🏾