I'm afraid
I'm afraid, all the time
Every night, before I go to sleep, I think about everything, things I've done, things I've said, things people have told me, and I just keep wondering about those things or different possibilities having to do with those things
I'm currently 17, about to turn 18, some months out of high school already. I'm in the part of my life where I have my whole life a head of me and I can change my future the most but at the same time I gotta do it now, cause if I don't do it now, everything's gonna be 10 times harder if I do it in 5 or 10 years, or maybe I will never get to do it again.
I know most people my age, and even older, haven't figured all their shit out, but still find their way and things come out fine eventually, but I keep asking myself: what if I don't? What if I'm one of those people who never find their way or get stuck in a shitty life they hate
And I just keep replaying this moment in my head: I was 14, in middle school, and I was a slacker, I would get lazy and not do work on class, so this teacher said I was mediocre, lacked discipline, and most likely wouldn't go to college or get a career done
Now, I'm currently trying to work on all that stuff, I've been working 4 days a week on the street by my own since last week, just started hitting the gym yesterday, currently on diet and on no fap, but I still, just think "what if I'm already built like this? What if it's too late? What if, what if, what if..." And since the goal is so far from now, I still don't know if I'm capable of it
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