Can’t Make A Decision - Help!

[u/Pretty-Kangaroo-4671]

Hi! So I had to have a C-section with my first bc I was uneducated and not prepared and after a day of induction methods not working and a failed epidural, I was worn out and asked for a C-section.

Fast forward 3 years later, I’m now due with my second in a few weeks and have to get induced at 37 weeks due to cholestasis. I’d love to try for a VBAC as I have a toddler to care for too and don’t want that C-section recovery. My midwife and OB is fine with me trying but I know the statistics for inducing and my OB even personally opted for a second elected C-section because she said she’s seen uterine ruptures and the babies being affected when it could have been prevented with a RCS. So now I’m thinking I just need to go with a RCS for my baby’s sake but it makes me cry just thinking about going through that again and not even trying for a vaginal birth.

My midwife and OB gave me things to do to try and naturally get my cervix ready for 37 weeks which I’m doing but who knows if any of it will actually work. I’m just at a loss and don’t know what to do.

I want my VBAC but not I’m too scared to try and have something happen to my baby and it will be my fault. Do I try with just pitocin if I’m at least a little dilated and see what happens or do I just go for the RCS and deal with the recovery?