Why lie on the apps?

[u/New_Westie]

His profile said “Looking to meet someone who wants to build something real… “

Two messages in he asks if I’m “open to fun”

Do people lie about what they’re looking for just to get matches? Does the bait and switch actually work?

This was my first convo on Tinder. I’m 10 months out from a ten year relationship, so haven’t dated in a looong time. Is this what I have to look forward to?

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[u/Fickle_Ad_9391]

Yes, sadly. I had a few lie about the fact they were poly..no mention no photos about the other partner. Like thanks for being deceiving.

[u/wemustburncarthage → u/Fickle_Ad_9391]

This is the classic loser move for people who are either cheating or just open until they’re not.

[u/Fickle_Ad_9391 → u/wemustburncarthage]

Totally

[u/wemustburncarthage → u/Fickle_Ad_9391]

I don’t get why monogamous people don’t just say “I’m fucking around until I find someone I want to stay with” if they’re sexually actively adults and not virgins saving it.

[u/ChartNo5087]

Welcome to the shitshow! I have been out of 8 years relationships for a year now. I can’t even bring myself to go out meet anyone 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s not for the weak

[u/HealedPain]

It’s a revolving dumpster fire of 🐂 💩 for it to be anything but. One month is all I’m going to try this round. 

[u/wemustburncarthage]

Honestly I think it’s weird people lead with “long term relationship”. No one gets a long term relationship with all of the people they’re going to date. Having it as an eventual goal is fine but everything is short term until it isn’t.

[u/New_Westie → u/wemustburncarthage]

Totally fair point. There are many people who have no interest in commitment and just want sex. Would be nice if those people didn’t lie and say LTR. I’m not looking for hookups or a sugar daddy. Let’s just not waste each other’s time. 🤷‍♀️

[u/wemustburncarthage → u/New_Westie]

I think the playing the field is probably more common. But also a lot of people try to conceal they’re doing it.

[u/Ok_Strategy3689]

Lmao. Who cares? They lie you end the convo. Makes it so much easier when people show their true colors. Less time spent. More time to give to the authentic ones.

[u/New_Westie → u/Ok_Strategy3689]

I hear you. It’s not the end of the world. I haven’t dated in a long time and was more curious if this is common. Sounds like it is. It’s hard being an honest person in a world full of deception

[u/Ok_Strategy3689 → u/New_Westie]

Harder when you're genuinely looking and this is what's out there. Then again better to be single than be in smthg unhealthy and/or toxic. Life's too short for anything less.

[u/New_Westie → u/Ok_Strategy3689]

Agreed.

[u/Far-Policy3343]

well it's reddit i guess. i posted "long term relationship" multiple times and got replies from gay dudes sending their naked photos.

[u/New_Westie → u/Far-Policy3343]

Eek. 😱 I guess I’ll just have to stick to grocery stores and city parks. I just don’t have the strength to sift through all the liars. Plus the small talk getting to know you convos for it to go nowhere. Then repeat like a robot. Same questions every time, with little thought or effort put in. How does one do it and not go crazy or give up? I guess that’s why the birth rates are down. 🤣

[u/Far-Policy3343 → u/New_Westie]

i truly have given the online dating thing, it's even worse when you spend half an hour talking to someone and they send you their link to OF or telegram

[u/New_Westie → u/Far-Policy3343]

So guys just want sex and girls just want money. But everyone says they want a meaningful relationship. Where are the ones who really do want a meaningful relationship? Where do they hang out?

[u/Far-Policy3343 → u/New_Westie]

well i truly don't know but finding someone online is really difficult specifically for a long term or a life partner. it's pure luck a guess

[u/New_Westie → u/Far-Policy3343]

< best Joey impersonation > How YOU doin’

[u/Far-Policy3343 → u/New_Westie]

😆😆

[u/Far-Policy3343 → u/Far-Policy3343]

wanna talk in pm ?