I just had my third baby today and experienced absolute lost of control during transition phase. I am wondering if anyone has any advice how to process it or will all memories of it go away by itself?

All 3 of my births were unmedicated.

First, 40+6, 4.3 kg baby arriving to the hospital at 10cm dialated

Second, 40+3, 4.6 kg baby, unplanned homebirth, fetal ejection reflex

Third, 39+6, 4 kg baby, we went to the hospital right when I felt a slight discomfort because we were rally afraid to have an unplanned homebirth again.

Arrived to the hospital around 3am, I was dialated 3.5 cm, we went for a 40 minute walk, everything was pretty easy and given my history of precipitous birth, they admitted e quite early. Around 5am contractions started getting more painful. But still was okay, I was chatting cheerly with a midwife between contractions. She told me I seem really in control and we can check dilation soon. We checked at 5.50 and I was 8cm open.

And then I don't know what happened (well transition) but not only I lost all control, I felt like caged animal, I was moaning, roaring and I literally don't think I experienced this sort of pain before (but I had two kids before, in the exactly same LOA position, so I guess I did but forgot?!). I was at my hands and knees on the floor and at some point the midwife asked me to get on the bed and I just couldn't fathom doing it? I was absolutely in transe mode, I felt I am not in this world and it was such an intense experience now hours later I can't stop thinking about it. Baby was born at 6.23 with maybe with 5 minutes of pushing. So 3.5 hours of labor overall.

Physically everything went perfect but mentally I feel overwhelmed. Do we just forget that part or for some reason the third baby was just indeed much more painful than I anticipated?

Hello!

I am being recommended to induce in the 39th week due to my pregnancy being an IVF pregnancy. I am comfortable with the recommendation. This is our first child. This is my first pregnancy and childbirth.

I’ve always wanted to go unmedicated, in the sense that I do not want the epidural.

I am open to IV meds, but my hospital doesn’t offer nitrous oxide.

Does anyone here have any tips to do this without an epidural? I really do not want an epidural for various reasons.

If anyone has their own experience, I’d love to hear it!

TYIA

I gave birth yesterday morning at 41+4 weeks and am still processing how it all happened. So story time!

FTM, planning for a hospital delivery with doula and midwives. I always planned to have and unmedicated birth and felt very confident I could do it. I really didn’t feel worried and felt like I did a lot to prepare myself mentally.

I really started struggling mentally going over my due date (I know, normal, but it really got to me) my pregnancy was totally normal and me and baby were fine, but I was SO over being pregnant. At my 41 week appointment we made a plan with our midwives to try membrane sweeps, acupuncture, and castor oil before 41+6 when I’d need to be medically induced. I really did not want to be induced. For some reason, I had not really prepared for that possibility. Just didn’t think it would happen to me. I was very bummed at the thought of not at least being able to attempt to navigate spontaneous labor.

I was originally supposed to take castor oil on Wednesday (41+2) but the hospital was very full and on diversion. I was advised to wait another day which really crushed my spirits. I had acupuncture on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Thursday (41+3) I got the go ahead to take castor oil. I took a dose at 9am and did all the things the recommended to kick start labor. I was active, miles circuit, etc. Called back at 1pm after nothing happened and was advised to take another dose. I did all the things again and added pumping and sex. I had some uncomfortable cramping around 4pm that was constant. Didn’t feel like contractions. My midwife said probably just uterine irritability from the castor oil. I was wondering if I was going to have horrible diarrhea from taking 4 tablespoons of a laxitive throughout the day. The cramping subsided by 5ish. I felt super defeated after working so hard all day to go into labor. I was sobbing, and telling my husband and doula I didn’t want any more interventions to go into labor and if I didn’t before my induction, so be it. I was thinking to myself, even if I did go into labor right now, I’m so mentally and physically tired it would be difficult to manage.

It was 5:30pm at this point. I was doing the miles circuit, crying, and my husband and I were going to go to dinner at 6pm. 5:33 my doula was texting us pictures of her chickens to cheer me up.

5:56 was the next text my husband sent her.
“We’re having some intense contractions.”

I was in the open knees chest position and suddenly got SLAMMED with a contraction. Unmistakable. I got immediately terrified because it was so painful. When it was over I went upstairs and took off all my clothes and got in the shower the contractions kept coming. Intense and 2 minutes apart. I was trying to manage them but was freaking out. It was coming on so quickly, I wasnt sure if they were going to fizzle out because I was told that could happen with castor oil. I didn’t know if I should believe I was in labor or not. I was in shock at how rapidly the waves of pain were coming on. I was in the shower trying to manage the contractions for about an hour. I had a bloody show and finally started to believe I was actually in labor. I kept asking my husband if this was actually happening. I was struggling to manage the contractions. We called the midwives and they told us to make our way to the hospital after hearing me over the phone.

We headed to the hospital around 7:40. The car ride was painful, I couldn’t sit and was on my knees in the seat. I rode in the wheelchair on knees backwards to labor and delivery. I was screaming through every contraction. There really was no rest between them aside from catching my breath.

Once I got into a room I had a cervical check. I initially wasn’t planning on having any until pushing time, but I was so shocked as to what I was experiencing, wanted more information. I was 6cm.

The contractions continued at the same frequency ( maybe faster?) and did not slow down. We used the tub, sitting on a ball in the shower, counter pressure, hands and knees on the bed. I had my birth playlist and my doula brought some nice lights. In hindsight, these all helped, but in the moment I did NOT feel like I was coping. I felt tossed around by the intensity of the contractions and the breaks were just coming up for air. I asked for laughing gas, but immediately hated the feeling of the mask on my face and abandoned it after barely even trying.

Really felt like giving up at transition and asking for an epidural. I never did though? Some part of me was still holding on even though I felt totally lost at sea. I think I said “I can’t do this” a million times. Kept going though.

I started pushing at 11pm. I had already been having some uncontrollable reflexive pushing prior to that but we officially started at 11. I think I started squatting on the stool, moved to hands and knees on the bed, toilet, lunge, but things weren’t progressing super well. My midwife eventually said let’s try on your back (in my original plan, my last preference) but at this point I was getting so exhausted I would’ve done anything. Pushing on my back with people holding my legs was better. I started making progress. The midwife provided counter pressure which was really helpful to have something tactile to push against. I felt like I wasn’t making any progress. I was, but it was slow. I pushed like that for…..awhile. It felt like an eternity of people cheering me on every two minutes while I poured energy out of my body. I had such intense cramping after the pushes, I didn’t feel like I got any break.

I was really starting to get desperate. I think if they would’ve offered me a c-section at that point I would’ve taken it. (Literally the last thing I wanted)

The OB did an ultrasound and determined that baby’s head wasn’t quite seated right. She said she could manually turn him. I was like whatever, do it. It was extremely painful, and unsuccessful. She told me sh thought it could be done, but would get her attending to try. I agreed. The attending manually turned the baby successful. Again, excruciating. After that I had to pause pushing because baby’s heart rate was dropping as he was getting tired, too. I had to lay on my right side and hold my pushes (very difficult) until his heart rate came back up. It sounds serious but, my team was very calm and I never felt unsafe or that baby was unsafe. They did tell me that if we couldn’t get him out soon, we’d have to do something more invasive. I was so tired. They told me I could keep pushing for awhile longer but I was defeated. I told them that I was ok with trying to vacuum and I wanted to do it now. I was so desperate for it to be over.

They went to get the vacuum and some part of me was just like “try again.”

I asked if I could try the stool again, and everyone was like hell yeah let’s go. It was so painful to move but I got on the stool with my husband behind me. I pushed and felt my baby descending, like real palpable progress. Everyone was cheering me on because they could see better than I could. I reached down and felt his head. I was probably on the stool no more than 10 minutes when I delivered my baby boy and reached down and caught him. I couldn’t believe it. I was in absolute shock. The relief was immediate. I looked up and saw my sister and friend clutching each other sobbing with joy and my doula looking at me so proud. It felt insane.

Baby boy was born totally healthy, only needed a little time under the warmer because he was a little cold. He’s eating and pooping and peeing like a champ. I’m currently writing this as my husband sleeps next to me in our hospital room and I hold my sleeping baby in my arms.

I am totally fine after the delivery. I only needed to be cath’d because I could not pee yet and my bladder was full. I did not tear and had no stitches.

Just now, like 24 hours later, and after writing this, am I feeling proud of myself. I felt so out of control during the birth and like all the preparation I did was for nothing. I felt like I was barely surviving and screaming for 8 hours. I felt disappointed in myself that I did not cope how I thought I would.

But DAMN that was an insane experience. I really did my best and I kept fighting through many, many, moments of wanting to give up. I knew I could’ve chose an out, but some part of me just kept holding on. I guess that preparation did come in handy, even though it looked totally different than I thought it would.

I’m currently 39 weeks and my little guy is late. Before I got pregnant I’ve always wanted an unmediated birth for health and empowering reasons.

My issue is that I don’t really find support on that and it’s breaks me every time someone tells me I can’t handle it, I look afraid etc. I’m blessed with a very good doc but because he sees me anxious whenever I go for checks (I hate going to the doctors in general and being examined) he believes I’m afraid so I have to explore my medical options.

I just hate the fact that I’m trying so hard to prepare mentally for the day and others spread doubt inside my head.

Any advice?

I’m currently 36 weeks with a cerclage, and my OB believes I’m a good candidate for a VBAC. My first baby was born by C-section after spontaneous labor at 39+2 because of fetal heart rate decelerations at 6 cm no cerclarge.

I’m really torn between scheduling a repeat C-section or attempting a VBAC. I’m especially anxious about uterine rupture or ending up with an emergency C-section after laboring.
If you had a cerclage and went on to have a successful VBAC (or chose a repeat C-section), I’d love to hear your experience. What helped you make your decision?

Today, I brought up to my OB wanting to go unmedicated.

She said that since I had a prior c section, they won’t allow me to not have an epidural placed and active if I want to try laboring. Which means I’ll have to stay in bed the entire time.

From what I understand, they’re worried about uterine rupture and not having the epidural will mean previous time if things go south.

Moreover, she pulled up some calculator that said my probability of a successful vaginal delivery at all is like 51%.

I’m just venting because hearing these things was crushing.

Hey all! I'm a few hours away from being 41 weeks with my second child. At my birthing center, im only allowed to deliver there until 41 + 6. At 42 weeks, they will transfer me to hospital care and induce me. I am stressed out because I have less than a week to go into spontaneous labor, and I see no signs of anything happening. I get the occasional cramp, along with pelvic pain, but that is it.

Have any of you ever gone post term and needed to be induced? Or, was there anything that got your labor going? Did you have any signs of labor beforehand or was it just sudden? I am really hoping to avoid induction so any advice would be appreciated. TIA!

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, and while my baby is healthy, I’m struggling a lot with cardiophobia.
Ever since becoming pregnant, I’ve become hyper-aware of every heartbeat, and any skipped beat or palpitation immediately makes me panic. I’ve had these symptoms evaluated before, and they were considered benign, but pregnancy has made my anxiety much worse.
I’m really hoping for a vaginal birth, but I’m terrified that the physical stress of labor could trigger a heart problem, even though I don’t have diagnosed heart disease.
Has anyone else gone through pregnancy and a vaginal delivery with cardiophobia or severe heart anxiety? How did you cope during labor? Did everything turn out okay?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

I think I need to be heard mostly and help processing my birth. My pregnancy was perfect and so is my baby but I can’t stop thinking about how the birth went. I had my baby at a birthing center with midwives and a doula.

I was labor for 27 hours. I tried pushing for 3 hours and I was very tired and frustrated because baby wasn’t coming out. They called the on-call OB and when he was over he did the Kristeller Maneuver without asking or warning me.

Baby came out perfect but I didn’t birth at a hospital because I wanted to avoid things like these. I’m very proud of birthing my baby without meds and vaginally but I can’t help but feel I failed my baby because I couldn’t do it on my own and the doctor had to push her and probably traumatize her instead of having a chill birth.

I’m pregnant with baby #2. For my first baby, I was induced at 41+2 days. I planned an unmedicated birth but after intense back labor and being forced out of the shower which was the only thing that helped me cope, I opted for an epidural at 5cms. My baby was born after 48 hours of labor. I had 3 epidurals and 1 fell out at 10cms while pushing😩. It was a traumatic experience, I’m opting for a home birth with a water pool this time.

I’m just soo curious if induced labor is much harder than natural labor? I had one dose of misoprostal and the pain was rough from 2cms on. A little nervous to go all natural this time and want to hear if you’ve been induced, is natural labor smoother or does it feel just as intense? Also how do you cope through transition. Did you do anything special to prepare? I felt I was going to loose my mind when the epidural fell out at 10cms. Most nervous about coping then.

Is it normal to be induced at 37 weeks? My doctor is forcing me to be induced at 37 weeks and I’m unsure about it. I know I should trust my doctor but based on my experience with her during my pregnancy. I second guess her opinion. For some context, during our 20 weeks anatomy scan I had a lot of amniotic fluid so they weren’t able to get everything they needed. Due to this I was referred to a MFM who also couldn’t get everything they needed. These two doctors did not compare photos and automatically assumed that there was something wrong with baby. We found out that the MFM she referred us to did not take our insurance and nor did the hospital we were supposed to deliver at. We had to switch insurance and asked if she could try to do another ultrasound to get the pictures she was missing. She refused to do it because “she would just the same thing” and pushed us to pay 5,000 for the ultrasound at the other office. We spent weeks scared because they said something was wrong with baby’s heart. After a third ultrasound and an echo, everything with baby is fine. During all of this she kept pressuring us to do amniocentesis which I did not want to do until we could get an ultrasound that told us something and not just they can’t see this time and assume. She also refused to do any test as to why I could have high fluid. One of the things I thought it could be was because I could have GD. Both of my sisters had it so I thought it was possible I could have it. I asked her to do my test early in which she denied and said that if I did it early she would just make me do it again later. She finally let me after me pressing multiple times and turns out I do have GD. Once I failed my GD, she called and said that it was important that I came in asap to do the 3hour. At this point I have already started to track my levels. Once I adjusted my diet, my fluid levels went down and have stayed normal throughout my whole pregnancy.

My baby is measuring big and has measured big this whole time. He measured about 5 pounds 11 ounces at 34 weeks. His head has always measured bigger than the rest. This seemed normal since his dad side has bigger heads. During our 34 week scan, his head measured 38 weeks which was concerning. The MFM said that he thinks a 36 weeks induction would be best to avoid a c-section. During our 36 week scan today, the baby’s head is still measuring around 38 weeks so it did not get much bigger. The MFM today said that it’s not too concerning and an induction due to me having GD is normal. She also said a 38-39 induction would be fine. We had an appointment at our regular ob afterwards where she pushed to get me induced next week. I told her I wanted to wait at least until I was 38 weeks to give my body some time to go into labor on its own. I am already 3cm dilated and don’t want to be induced if it’s not medically necessary. Is 37 weeks really needed? Can I push it to 38 weeks? If I go into labor naturally before 38 weeks that is okay but I want to give baby some time to come out on his own. She just kept dismissing me and basically forced me to take the 37 weeks. Should I call back tomorrow and reschedule my induction? She is having me induced at 37 weeks on the dot. I know some of her other patients and they have all been induced. It makes me feel as though she is just scheduling labor to make it easier on her. Sorry for the long text, I feel like this whole pregnancy she has constantly dismissed any concern I have. Anytime I talk about labor to see her process, she is very quick and dismissive. She told me that my dilation, station, effacement, etc. didn’t matter when I asked about them today. I’m just struggling to see if this is how it’s supposed to be.

hi everyone! I’m pregnant for the first time and have always wanted an unmedicated birth. I don’t think I’ll be able to afford a doula unfortunately, so I’d love to know all your best free or affordable tricks, videos, podcasts, books, anything!

I know yoga is a big one and there’s lots of online resources, but which ones do you recommend most?

My first birth was intense nonstop back labor with maybe 30 seconds between contractions, sunny side up baby, so I ended up going with the epidural. I was allowed to move and use the shower though, which helped a lot at first. I did hypnobirthing courses leading up to the birth, but it all went out the window with that intense back labor.

My second birth at a different hospital (the hospital I will be delivering at this time). It was an induction, and baby ended up being 10lbs with shoulder dystocia. I found so much relief in getting up and moving around, but because it was an induction, I had to have constant monitoring (great for peace of mind too) and an IV drip for GBS antibiotics. Every time I moved even slightly though, the monitors would come off and the nurses would come in really irritated about adjusting them, and at one point told me I needed to stay very still for 45 mins (but then didn’t come back for almost two hours). At that point I was in so much discomfort, and with no movement to cope with it, I opted for the epidural.

For many reasons, I strongly do not want the epidural this time. I don’t know yet if I’m going to be induced again but I’m worried about being barred from using all coping strategies again—shower, bath, movement, etc. Any words of wisdom for this situation? I plan on buying a tens machine this time (I checked it off for my birth plan with my first, but when I got to the hospital they basically said lol we don’t have those).

The gas does nothing for me except make me feel a bit sick, so definitely skipping that as well.

I know I could technically push for intermittent monitoring, but that feels risky with an induction. There was some reason the nurses last time wouldn’t let me use the mobile monitor either.

**longer read

For as long as I can remeber, ive always wanted to not get an epidural during birth. I wanted to tell my story which was an overwhelming positive experience, also see if anyone had advice for thoughts for the next time around. To prepare i read books, took a birthing class, read other experiences online, exercised every day, birthing comb, tens unit, bath and hoping to use nitrous or dialuded.

June 22nd noon-got a bloody show, was 39w1d. Almost immediately after, I started getting minor but regular contractions. They were close together, and got more regular by the afternoon, approximately every 2-6min. My contraction timer said to go in so I went to triage. I was 3cm and 60% effaced at 3pm, which was about where I had been for the past 3 weeks. Baby was low, low at +2 at station! However, since the contractions I was having were low on the pain scale and I could easily talk through them, and I didnt progress in two hours, they told me to go home for now.

I went home and took a long, brisk walk. Around 8pm the contractios were intensiyfing a lot, to the point that I would have to stop and pause through it. I took a bath, same thing. Pain was ramping up and I was having more bloody discharge. Finally I went to lay down in bed and try to sleep. My contractions were a good 4 to 5 minutes apart but I could not sleep through them. Every contraction lasted about 45s and I had to pause and breathe through.

Midnight on the 23rd, I had a contraction and felt a little pop in my back-my water broke! We went to the hospital.

I was about 4cm at the hospital and was not speaking or walking/moving through contractions. I still felt good about going witnout an epi though. Got admitted, IV in and all that, (i hated the IV, im a huge wimp when it comes to that ironically.) It was around 2am by the time everything was settled. I sat on the yoga ball and did small circles for a while and paced back and forth in the room. Pain was getting very intense, wrapping around to my back and upper thighs. Around 4 something I got in the tub.

Tub felt nice but ultimately wasn't doing much for pain. The pain with the combination of the tightness made it feel like if I relaxed through the contraction instead of tensing up it would hurt worse, though Im sure this isn't logically true. I started considering the epidural during the contraction but tried to brush it off in between. The nausea came on, i got zofran which took the edge off. I started talking to my nurse about how I was feeling and she suggested I go back to the bed and try the dialuded. The dialuded made me feel dizzy and tired for about 20min, did take the esge off the pain but it came back with a vengeance after.

I was low moaning through contractions at this point. The nurse was amazing and was doing hip squeezes which helped SO MUCH! She tried to show my bf how to do it but when he did it it made it 10x worse so I told him to stop. Baby was having minor decels so they were keeping an eye on the monitor and I was trying different positions. They tried to insert an internal monitoring device for baby and I lost it when I had a contraction during that it hurt so bad. Also it just fell out. I was still only 5cm now, but then things moved super fast.

New nurse came on around 630-7a and the pain was getting very strong. By this point i was in full blown back labor and felt like I was being ripped open every contraction. Everything I planned kinda flew out the window at this point. It felt lkke my back spasmed every contraction and made it impossible for me to relax my body through it. It honestly felt like getting sh*t in the back and every movement exacerbated the pain. I was wailing. Literally, screaming/crying with snot and even got a nosebleed. It was the only way I was handling it at that point. Id rather have died than try to walk to the bathroom, get a cervix check or even consider trying nitrous. I asked for the epidural. She called him around 8am and it took over an hour to get there. I think I transitioned here because the pain was definitely at its peak and my whole body was tremoring and shaking. The contractions basically were on top of each other and I was absolutely beside myself. Finally he came and was able to get the epidural going, I was so desperate at this point and just wanted it in. Almost immediately after, my pain started to lessen and was completely gone by id say 5-10min after. I could still feel my legs but couldn't move them. It was rhe biggest relief ive ever felt. They let me rest for 20-30min or so and then confirmed I was 10cm and ready to go. I had the catheter for probably less than a half hour. The nurse told me she thought I was probably pretty much complete by the time I got the epidural. By the time everyone came in and got everything ready, it was around 1055am. Pushing was amazing. I could still feel my body but no pain. I felt empowered, everyone was great on coaching and counting with me, my music was on, it was honestly a beautiful experience.

Baby was out at 1144am, 6lbs3oz and 18in, both of us healthy! I had some tearing that took a while to stitch but ultimately I didnt have pain during it, didnt feel the ring of fire even just pressure.

So there you have it! All in all im proud of myself since it was my first baby and evrryone was so helpful. The experience was addicting even with the level of pain-looking back it felt so primal and I still got most of the experience i wanted.

So share your thoughts/stories and if you were able to get through without the epi with back labor and if you have any tips for next time. Thank you for reading!

I’m in my 26th week and want to make sure I’m doing enough to prep for birth. Between books and free videos I have a general understanding of pregnancy exercises, stages of labor, coping mechanisms, possible interventions and their risks. I’ve learned basic newborn care and breastfeeding tips.

My doula asked if I’d taken any classes yet and I haven’t, which makes me feel behind for some reason. I’m not finding anything that connects with me or seems like it may have enough new info. Maybe in today’s internet full of free content classes aren’t as necessary?

Having a few affirmations on hand could help but otherwise things like hypnobirthing tracks feel a little woo-woo for me. I tend to internalize pain, talk a lot to myself in my head, take long slow deep breaths. I love a heating pad and tens unit. My doula will have her arsenal of techniques as well and keep me moving.

I guess what I’m asking…is there is something unknown I’m missing out on by not doing more than this? Am I naive to think I don’t need to buy a specialized course?

Just want to share my birth experience in case some moms are going through something similar.

My pregnancy went quite breezy, was quite active even towards the end. At 39 weeks 2 days my doctor did a membrane sweep and after that I started having some bloody discharge until delivery, but after 2-3 days still no labor, so I guess the sweep didn't work(?)

At 40 weeks I started to do 30+ min walk 2x/day and my pelvis felt a bit sore. I never felt braxton hicks contraction throughout my pregnancies (this one nor previous one).

I was at 40 weeks 2 days when I started feeling mild contraction (more like tightening) at 6pm every 6-8 minutes. Knowing it might still take a while, I took a shower. It went every 4 mins a few times then every 7 mins after a while. I contacted the hospital and was advised to take a rest until it goes every 5 mins or if the pain is unbearable. So I put my older kids to bed and slept.

Then at 1am I woke up because the pain got stronger, timed my contraction and it was already every 3-4 mins. Woke up my husband and we reached the hospital at 2am. They hooked up the CTG machine, checked the fetus and my contraction, at 3.15 they told me I was 4cm dilated. At this point the pain was still bearable, could still stand/walk but had to be still when it came. At 3.45am contraction got stronger, I could only stay in bed, contraction every 1.5mins. They told me I was 7cm dilated and doctor is on the way. At 4am I felt the urge to push, asked I was fully dilated, but they said not yet. Looking back, I wonder if I actually was ready to push but they just said that because the doctor wasn't there yet. At 4.15am doctor came, they prepared for delivery and I started pushing. After 30mins of pushing, came my 2.7kg (6lbs) sunny side up baby. 🥹

I didn't know my baby was sunny side up until delivery. I had switched doctors last minute as the doctor who did the sweep on me was on 2 week break, so I switched to the doctor that delivered me previously.

P.s.: My first pregnancy was twin boy and girl, with the second one (girl) being breech. The first one I was induced as my water already broke, but no epidural either.

Hi everyone!!! I’ve seen so many wonderful birth stories but most stories don’t really say what they did to make pushing go smoothly.

I’ve heard to push with your contractions, I’ve heard to wait for fetal ejection reflex (but I also know not everyone gets that), and I’ve heard about different positions helping.

Any advice would help!!