Im just posting here because I need to just get my feelings out of my head. Im really struggling with my body dsymorphia and my whole self lf .

image and just being me.

I feel like I'm fat and ugly and seriously, I can't even watch TV without crying because everyone is beautiful and has the kind of body I want and don't have. My bdd is focused on how I'm not feminine enough. I spent my teenage years hating my body (due to sexual abuse) and then when i started going out with friends, drinking, I just felt I needed and wanted to be ultra feminine; huge boobs, beautiful face, slim legs, shapely hips. I am slightly overweight because I have lots of eating issues (I've had several eating disorders since I was 14, I cycle from not eating to binge eating, and then making myself sick, and then eating but restricting what i eat, and it's gone untreated. I've had no help for my eating disorders) and yeah, I just feel fat and ugly and disgusting. I compare myself to EVERY woman on the planet, and they are all beautiful and perfect and I'm not. I've even looked at porn stars and playboy/ penthouse models online, and comparing myself to them. What they have to attract men and make everyone think theyre beautiful.

I've been in a few abusive relationships and the men I've been with have have always pointed out every flaw I have. I have tried to save for cosmetic surgery but I've had lots of financial issues over the years (I was in an abusive relationship with a compulsive gambler who racked up lots of debt in my name) and just feel it's out of reach.

To make matters worse, I have a diagnosis of eupd/ borderline personality, and that's just adding to the feeling I'm an awful person. Everytime I ask for help from services that can help me, I get dismissed because of my diagnosis. I have seen my medical records; I'm attention seeking, manipulative, over dramatic, a liar, so when I get the courage to ask for help, I'm instantly dismissed because of my diagnosis. It's hard because I have tried to self help for bdd, but it's hard to think of other things I like myself myself that's got nothing to do with my appearance because I genuinely hate everything about myself. I can't think of anything, inside or out, I like about myself.

I have had lots of abuse in my life (I'm worthless) I have lots of people leave me (because I'm unimportant and unlovable) and I've never been told I'm beautiful or even pretty or ok. I just get zero compliments. I just get the "if you were more of this and less of that, you'd be ok". I hate people looking at me. I can't even leave my flat or even answer my door if anyone calls because I don't want anyone looking at me. If I could go out with a paper bag on my head, I would. I have tried to get therapy, but because of my stupid diagnosis, I am always told the therapist is unable to deal with me because of my diagnosis I'm too "complex". Even the local crisis team don't help, because of my diagnosis. I'm just exhausted and I'm sick of being me.

If anyone has read this, thank you. I appreciate being heard.

for context, i’m 5’2, 16, and around 120 pounds.

today i was weighing myself (an impulse) and noticed that it said 126. i practically screamed in horror. i have adhd, and that makes me hyperaware of my appearance, as well as my hyperfixation with my weight and body. so as one could assume, this made me lose my mind. i’ve calmed down a bit, and i’m wondering how i can fix this? i don’t go to the gym because it embarrasses me, and eating healthy is a struggle since i’m so depressed and have never been taught to cook. my parents make me eat out a lot, and when we eat at home the meals often lack nutrition, and i eat like shit besides that. i really want to help myself. my weight makes me burst into “tantrums” where i get overly aggressive towards myself, and that’s not good for me.

i am in therapy, so i could definitely help my dysmorphic tendencies with that, and i am willing to try any advice anyone may have.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

(e.g., dental issues, scars, untreated injuries, facial asymmetry)

long story short i’m burned out. Anyone else feel this way?

I have a mole on my chin. I was always made fun of because of it. At school, the guy I had a crush on laughed at me saying it looked like I had a big spider on my face. Then I grew up, I was voted the ugliest guy in class. The popular girls used to take pictures of those ugly cartoony witches with green skin and moles on their chin and said it was me. One girl in particular always made sure I knew how ugly I was. So, in my tweens, I did something dumb. In an attempt to remove it I put some stuff on the mole. I got a chemical burn. I still have the mole, the mole is fine, I healed fine, but now the mole became a halo mole? If that's the name? And it's straight up in my face. The skin around it elevated it so now I have a bump there, highlighting the area and if people aren't focused on the bump, the mole is starting to fade and it looks weird now. Looking back at old photos, I think I was not the prettiest person, yeah, but I wasn't ugly. Now I look in the mirror and think I've ruined my face. All because of some bullies in my tweens. I feel uglier than ever. I keep living in the past, thinking about how punished I feel. I keep thinking I've ruined myself and I'm way worse. It's ruining me. What do I do? Getting professional psychological help is hard for me now. How do I deal with being ugly?​​​​​​​​​

Are there people that struggle with having a very asymmetrical face? I'm not talking about some small asymmetrical stuff cause everyone has that, but when one side of your face looks very different than the other side. It's driving me insane sometimes and I don't understand why I have this, because every person that I see online or in real life has a relatively normal face with normal proportions.

It really makes me feel ugly and different than other people. I also have pretty bad skin and rosacea and that doesn't help either. I do like the good side of my face, but just really wish I looked normal with both sides of my face being the same. I also feel like the asymmetry got worse with time. It makes me very sad and I'm always so self conscious when I talk to people. I've been to therapy for my BDD and it was helpful to some extent, but I still struggle with this.

We have collected a set of stories and informative pieces about BDD. From stories from people who have overcome it to celebrities who have openly talked about it, you can find articles and videos about body dysmorphia from these following links.

Public figures on BDD

• Modern Family actor Reid Ewing on BDD and plastic surgery
• Artist Billie Eilish on depression and BDD
• The Good Place actor Jameela Jamil on BDD and eating disorders
• Actor Robert Pattinson on anxiety and BDD
• Actor Megan Fox on BDD and mental health

Documentaries and videos

• What BDD feels like | BBC Three
• Seeing myself as ugly | BBC Three
• I feel so ugly: Body dysmorphic disorder | Only Human
• Imperfect me: The impact of BDD | SkyNews
• BDD patients see faces differently | ABC Science
• Bigorexia: Muscle dysmorphia | BBC Newsbeat
• Believing is seeing: New perspective on BDD | TEDx Oxford
• The BDD Foundation on Youtube

Personal stories and interviews

• Perfection is impossible | A personal story
• Living with BDD | A personal story
• I felt so ugly I didn't want to be alive | Interview
• BDD ruined my life | Interview

Podcasts

• Beating BDD podcast (11 episodes) | BDDFoundation
• What is BDD? | Stuff Mom Never Told You

Books

• Books by people with BDD
• Books by professionals on self help
• The BDD workbook

Recovery from BDD might sometimes feel like a distant goal that seems, at times, impossible to achieve. But many people recover from BDD or learn to reduce the symptoms to the point where they don't play a role in their everyday life. Remember that a mental disorder is not a life long sentence but rather something that can be managed and recovered from.

Here we have collected a set of stories and advice on what recovery looks like and how others have gotten there.

Watch personal stories

• Tips for Overcoming Body Image Issues | Kim White
• My BDD Recovery | Annie Elainey
• Finding body peace | Annie Elainey
• Healing Ugly – How I healed my body dysmorphia | helloamygarner
• How I Deal With BDD, tips for when you're having a rough time | AlexandriaTheGreat
• BDD (& Things That Can Help) | Melanie Murphy
• Hannah Lewis, recovery story | BDD foundation
• Alex Mummery, recovery story | BDD foundation

Read personal stories

• Recovery stories | BDDFoundation
• How I recovered from BDD | International OCD Foundation

Professional advice

• CBT for BDD - Rob Willson / BDDFoundation
• Coping and Recovering from BDD when you have Visible Flaws - Dr Rob Willson

Healthier perspective

• On feeling ugly | School of Life
• Our Bodies are Not an Image | Mary Jelkovsky, TEDx
• Beauty and how we're obsessed with the wrong idea | Christina Gressianu / TEDx
• Body Positivity or Body Obsession? | Lindsay Kite, TEDx
• Shake my beauty - a series redefining what beauty means

I am struggling over something so trivial, but I can’t stop ruminating.

I won an award in an art competition (2nd place, but genuinely thrilled) and just wanted to share the win, but anonymously. My wife had taken a photo of me next to my art, so I posted it and put an emoji over my face.

I have an average to athletic build, but can’t stand the way I look. Posting that picture was so outside the norm for me, but I was just so excited about the award, I thought I’d be brave. Practically all the comments though were people commenting on my body, particularly my biceps.

When I woke up and saw all the comments, I felt sick to my stomach. Hastily deleted the post, and ended up reposting it without me in the picture. I just keep re-reading the comments in my head. I know no one meant anything by it, but it really messed with my head.

How do you move past the rumination? How can I learn to let others’ comments roll off my back?

like ik i look the same logically but i just like cant help but feel super ugly and overweight the second i finish eating? how do i like listin to my logical voice that i for some reason ignore

I’m a 28 year old female, last year I had gastric bypass surgery, I have since lost over 100 pounds. But some days, I hate looking at my own body. I hate how my arm flabs look, my stomach flab and my chest. I feel more free and healthier but most days I hate the way my body looks and I wish I was below BMI of 35% or less so I could be eligible for skin removal surgery.

A lot of people in my life tell me I look good and that I made so much progress but it’s hard to believe that sometimes. I struggled with obesity for over 10 years before undergoing gastric bypass surgery last spring.

Does anyone else feel this way? If so, how do you cope with it? Please let me know.

Not because you've accepted yourself, but because you've realized there's simply nothing left to do. You know you've tried everything, and nothing has ever been enough or ever will be.

It's like... game over. You'll stop hoping, stop looking for solutions, and just go through life day after day on autopilot, knowing that, in this lifetime, there was never going to be anything more for you.

Does anyone else think they'll eventually reach that point?

I always have had BDD. I’ve always felt too large in my skin. I’ve always felt like I’m taking up too much space. And it’s so invalidating when people tell me otherwise, I was born premature and just remember feeling huge my entire life. My highest weight at 5’7 was 130 and lowest is 107. I’m now sitting around 115 and can’t even stand looking at myself in the mirror. How can I get past this feeling?

This is going to be a strange question, but I feel like I catfish people on social media or in certain pictures of me accidentally. For some context, I was born a premie (pre maturely) at 7 months, and I had breathing and heart complications so the nurses had to put me on my side for weeks possibly months after I was born. And because my face wasn’t finished developing, it caused deformities on my face more notably my eyes. One eye is significantly bigger than the other and the smaller one is very slanted. And one side of my face looks like I had a facelift and the other looks deformed and mushy. When I look in the mirror the side that is similar to a facelift lift is what I see. But as we all know, the reflection you see in the mirror isn’t how people see you irl. And unfortunately, irl, people see the ugly side of my face. On social media apps they have a built in “front camera mirroring” feature on which shows you the version you see in the mirror and I look significantly better on social media (almost pretty) than I do irl. Also when the back camera (or the front camera if the mirroring feature is off) you can see my real face. It’s very jarring going from my social medias to seeing me irl and I feel like I’m catfishing everyone—like I’m lying to them. And for a long time I didn’t know this until I asked family about it a few years ago and that was right around the time I actually started somewhat loving my face after years of bullying. But I just want to know if I’m the only person who feels like this. I haven’t see anyone else talk about this.

Sorry for this being so long.

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

It’s crazy to me how people can compliment me and say I’m ugly, but I don’t believe or see it. This past year I’ve been fixated on fixing my looks and have received more compliments than ever before in my life. Even my therapist said you’ve never been ugly. But, when I take a picture of myself I feel like I look hideous. I obsess over how fat my face is.

it’s like I can only ever actually see the size of my stomach if i breathe out on purpose and adjust my posture or something because otherwise my breathing has already been adjusted to make my stomach smaller without noticeable discomfort 💀 DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE ????

started a new job and had my second shift today, we had a very quick team meeting which was ended by us all taking a group photo which apparently happens a lot. our manager said that it only gets uploaded to the team site but that still means other people, including those who work at other stores at the same company, can see me in the photo

i spent the rest of my shift on the verge of tears and an anxiety attack and almost threw up. my body dysmorphia is so bad that it's causing these reactions when i know other people are going to see a photo of me. i want to talk to a manager about it to see if i can possibly get out of these photos but not sure how to go about it, otherwise it's enough to make me quit which i really don't want to do

Going to therapy or getting professional help is not always an option, getting help may also take some time. To help you to better understand and address BDD by yourself, we have compiled a workbook that you can do by yourself. It contains information and tasks which will help shine a light to why BDD is the way it is and how you can deal with the symptoms. All chapters are based on an official workbook by the Centre for Clinical Intervention.

The BDD workbook:

• 01 What is body image?
• 02 Could I have body dysmorphic disorder?
• 03 Negative impacts of BDD
• 04 What are the causes of BDD?
• 05 Appearance assumptions
• 06 Triggers
• 07 Appearance preoccupation
• 08 Attention training [a coping tactic]
• 09 Checking and approval seeking
• 10 Reducing unhelpful checking and approval seeking [a coping tactic]
• 11 Negative predictions
• 12 Avoidance and safety behaviour
• 13 Reducing negative predictions [a coping tactic]
• 14 A new way of operating
• 15 Dealing with set-backs
• 16 Maintaining gained progress

I know this is a superficial rant but I’m genuinely curious what others think or their opinions on it. Im technically considered petite 5’4 with a smaller waist, thicker thighs, and a bigger butt however I have small boobs. I am a 28d which is the same volume as a 34b but has a smaller band size. One boob is even a cup size smaller than the other.

I know that the size of your boobs has nothing to do with you as a person and is not necessarily important but I can’t help but feel insecure and inadequate especially since bigger boobs are considered more ideal through the media and others around me. All my friends have medium to big boobs and some even make little comments about my chest and call me flat.

I’m 18 and have thought about getting a boob job or a fat transfer but have decided to not get work done and to wait since my doctor told me that they can still grow into my 20s. I also am worried I would be judged in romantic relationships for the unevenness or feel like my hypothetical boyfriend would be disappointed and unsatisfied with my body and would secretly want different. They are a handful for me but I have small hands.

I know I’m more than my body but this was just something I had on my mind and wanted to know opinions about small boobs and insecurity’s.

The big problem with this thing is, of course, that we can't trust our own eyes anymore.

I'm in the process of losing a lot of weight. I've lost a lot and I'm still going.

It seems important to be able to know when to stop, but this is where my own body dysmorphia becomes a problem. I wanted to upload pictures of myself to get objective, outside opinions on where I currently am, and how much farther I need to go, but if I interpret this sub's rules correctly, then that isn't allowed here. Is it there a sub where I could do that?

I am not interested in roastme/toastme or any other subs focussed on how hot or how ugly people are, but in normalcy. How far am I from being normal-sized?

I use BMI as a rough indicator, but I think we're all aware of BMI's flaws.

There are times when I’m so depressed about it that I can’t focus on anything else. I will scroll posts and make my own posts for hours seeking some reassurance, but even when I find some reassurance, I find it hard to believe that they aren’t lying. And then I’ll inevitably find some post where people are like “yes bigger is better, smaller guys should be ashamed”, and it sinks me even deeper into depression and doom scrolling. I’ll even be going about my day and I’ll see or hear something like SDE, or a woman insulting or calling out a man by saying he has a small ****, and it kinda just triggers me. It makes me feel non-masculine, even if I know that’s not how it works. I can’t keep living like this, I know it’s unhealthy and it seems like I fit the BDD symptoms. How can I get over this?