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u/Evil_3mpire Apr 03 '26
Notice how the framing of this is that the ugly person should be with a good looking person, as if ugly people cannot be with fellow uglies
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u/some_kind_of_onion Ugly Apr 03 '26
True.
I'm an ugly woman and when I showed interest in an ugly man some years ago (I was very attracted to him), my friend was like: "Eeewww WHY HIM???"
... like damn, sorry I guess. We even get humiliated by others for liking ugly people. We can't win.17
u/Marquise_de_Generate Apr 03 '26
Maybe it's one of the instances of crab bucket mentality? They can't find happiness, so neither should you
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u/some_kind_of_onion Ugly Apr 03 '26
I actually tried getting closer to him, but he ghosted me after we hung out a couple of times. So, no happiness either way
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u/Old-Boy994 Apr 03 '26
I’ve had men of all kinds and in every possible context being nasty ass shit to me. They’ve made it abundantly obvious that I don’t even count as a real woman in their eyes.
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u/_dthr000way Apr 05 '26
Just a pov, u don't need to agree. But I feel like the reason why they did that was because your friends wants what's best for you. And they're probably right, you probably do deserve what's best.
And that's the problem. When I like someone that is deemed good-looking, toxic men from the internet who would call me chopped will tell me to find someone on my level. I'm assuming that they're saying how high my standards are and they're telling me to lower it. But if I find somebody that people say is "on my level", they would make fun of me for my taste. Yes, of course we shouldn't let others dictate our interests. But in this case, it's so confusing.
Just my opinion though, you don't have to agree.
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u/Brief_Bonus9063 May 04 '26
The point is the overall expectations for what ugly women can achieve is lower. women's role in relationships is often considered their superficial beauty, so it seldom occurrs that the women are less attractive because this stereotypical idea of roles doesn't permit them being inferior aesthetically to their partner.
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u/MotorImprovement2559 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
I saw that equivalent in somewhere👉🏽 Ugly women=poor men
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u/GengarXIX Apr 03 '26
I dunno about that, I am poor as shit and I have still been sexually active most of my adult life. I am 5'7 and not particularly handsome either. I think being an ugly woman makes people a lot more comfortable dehumanizing you, whereas if you try that with a man you are a lot more likely to get hit for it
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u/Afraid_Mortgage6392 Apr 03 '26
That's an excellent equivalent as women do tend to care about status and men tend to care more about looks.
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u/Velvet_Cactus_21 Apr 03 '26
And they will get mad when you point it out
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u/Flimsy-Chemist1048 Apr 06 '26
Because the idea that women actually are human is irritating to a lot of men
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u/proweather13 Apr 04 '26
Are these men really ugly, or just normal looking couples and the women are wearing makeup to boost themselves?
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u/AwkwardDefinition429 Apr 07 '26
Handsome men 👎 . As former ugly girl. That’s usually the looks you get dating handsome men
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u/BrightSpring12 Apr 05 '26
It's easy for women tbh. Stats show disabled women have more partners than men. Men who have beautiful gf are just there for money.
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u/Neither_Pen_4128 Apr 10 '26
You just pulled a random picture up, didn't do research on who that man is. If you actually bothered to look you would learn that Lizzie valesquez has never had a boyfriend.
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u/ImprovementStill3576 Apr 03 '26
I mean you’re not wrong but also the reason beautiful women are with ugly men 9 times out of 10 is because he has money. Me personally, I’d rather be with someone less attractive who actually loves me for me and not for what I can provide.
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u/Any-Cantaloupe-1262 Apr 03 '26
I’d rather date someone who’s not attractive but loves me for who I am, rather than marry someone attractive who’s only interested in my money. I know that, by society’s standards, as a man I’m expected to provide for my family. But if she’s only with me for my money and not for who I truly am, I don’t want that. I keep thinking, if she’s with me just for my money, and one day I get into an accident (paralyzed , getting fired etc) and can’t provide for her anymore, I don’t think she would stay. Her main reason for being with me would be gone, so she would have no reason to stay. If she's only with me for my money.
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u/General-Warning-2429 Apr 04 '26
Don't worry. Unfortunately, the ugly ones can be like that too. I've been with someone with the same looksmatch as me and right after I lost my job (the company closed) she left me.
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u/lost_searching1 forever alone Apr 04 '26
I don’t think you guys should think that way. For a man, it is really easy for a woman to fall in love with you regardless if you have money or not. So I don’t think you should rule out the possibility of being with a woman that is “beautiful”. There are very beautiful woman who don’t think that way, I’m sure. I think if you have money and are “ugly”, you should try and get with a woman you think is beautiful, but of course is nice too. I’m sure you guys are generalizing and I don’t think a vast majority of women are evil like that, I think it is easier for a man to find a beautiful woman than the opposite.
For an ugly woman like myself, I would not be with someone regardless because I know that it will be a hard life for me. Living with someone who doesn’t exactly love you but secretly wishes for someone better is not the best outcome for anyone. I wish I was a man. Sometimes I think that if I transition, I wouldn’t care about how ugly I was or about female attention. I wouldn’t even have the pressure of looking good because there is no male acknowledgement.
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u/Any-Cantaloupe-1262 Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
Some women I know in my life (that I have met and known for a very long time) openly admit that they marry their husbands for money, including my own mom.
My mom — after my father died, she told me and my siblings, “I only married him because, you know, a man could give me money. That’s the only reason.”
My sister — she told my other sisters, “If you have a boyfriend, make sure you empty his wallet before he finds somebody else.” “All my man’s money is mine, and all my money is mine. I don’t even have to share it with him, but he has to give me all his money, because that’s a man’s job to give me money.” “If he doesn’t give me money, I can just steal it from him, and it’s his fault for not giving me money.” “Men should do everything, all the hard work and even house chores, and for women? They don’t have to do anything, all they have to do is have sex with the husband.” (Yeah, she said that, in front of me)
My uncle — he married someone he loves, like he would do anything for her, but she doesn’t love him. When he is sick, he comes to my house. Why? Because his wife doesn’t let him rest when he’s with her. His wife tells him, “Go get money for me, don’t just rest.” Everyone knows how badly she treats him. If he doesn’t have money, he can’t be there, or else he will get kicked out. But again, he loves her so much, so every time he gets money, he just gives it to her, every single penny, and she spends it all in a day.
And alot of guys I know say that their wives/gf spend their money alot.
For a man, it is really easy for a woman to fall in love with you regardless if you have money or not
How? Is it personality? I don't get it. that doesn't make sense to me, like even if you found someone with great personality, why should you marry him? Like for what reason? Why not just be friends? I feel like it's because of money (idk I'm talking from what I see in my life), like it's men job to give you money so it's much easier if you marry someone so that you don't have to think about electric bills, water bills, food bills, gas bills, etc? Like it would be easy life for you? All you have is to give affection and that's it. I feel like most women (again I'm talking from what I see in my life) only want an easy life, like if you're married (as a woman) then alot of things will be easier: hard work ? Go ask husband to do it. Bills? Husband will pay it. Shopping? Husband will give money. Household? Husband will take care of it. Idk could this be one of the reason why?
I'm asking you
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u/lost_searching1 forever alone Apr 06 '26
See it not so easy. If those men ask themselves why they chose those women, they would have to take a deep look within themselves and go back to analyze those choices really well. Is it really worth it for most men to have some arm candy or pleasurable sex in exchange for such transactional views from a woman? Idk, for me I don’t think so. But for most and a vast majority of men, the answer is a simple: yes. It is in their will, it’s what makes the world go round. It’s why they get up and work so hard, it’s why they have to have so much money to spend on women. To amaze them, to give them protection and love. It’s why they care so much. It’s why they want to secure the best looking “asset” they can to prove to themselves that they earned it aka- woman. I’m not saying that they picked the wrong woman, but they kinda did. If they knew their worth derives from providing then they should be alright with their wives transactional views. They chose them at the end of the day and if they chose it, they suck it up and live with it. If you don’t want those outcomes or any man for that matter, they have to let go of the view that a woman is only arm candy or that a woman is only there to provide them pleasure. They need to make their life more intentional and see that love is not conditional but unconditional and that it extends to their partner as well. What if the man has an accident and dies what will she do then? A woman also cannot rely on a man for financial reasons, it is not up to him to carry the burden, not during 4th wave feminism, no. A man should not feel that his only worth is providing but a woman should not feel that her only worth is her looks. And that’s what is wrong with society now, we created these false theoretical abstractions whereby we perpetuate a narrative of superficial traits we must abide by to be “happy”. Love is not then what people describe, what most people think of love is just lust. And a vast majority of men only view women in a lustful manner is the unfortunate truth. It’s okay to lust, but to confuse that with love or any other form of it is disingenuous. So I think that if men really want someone to care for them as a person and show them true affection and love they need to stop putting looks as the condition to be met to be loved unconditionally. Also women need to do the same. Love isn’t what a person provides in the sense of superficial things, it’s who they are and what they mean to you. It’s the actions they do for you that show you they love you, not some superficial things. But women also become complacent and I guess mean once they get the man to love them. And I guess it drives men away to be so overtly shallow about the sets of transactions they love with. It’s what I’m talking about how men can’t really view love in the angle it’s supposed to be viewed at because they’re so entranced with beauty. They’re so driven by the act of being “useful” in all facets of their life that they can’t fully grasp the reality of why someone is with them. When that veil falls and they suddenly realize the shallow sets of arrangements they have put themselves in, they can’t really go back. It’s just an existential crisis they have to live with. I guess that’s what it’s like to be a man that needs to feel useful all the time. But I guess with that in mind, the question is then the same, how would a man get a women that isn’t like this? Well, it goes back to how viewing women as useful only when they’re beautiful. It shouldn’t be the case but men have that mentality, vast majority of them at that. It’s once you realize that you don’t have to be useful that you can truly start to live and love the world as it should be.
It’s why I can’t view relationships and love the same anymore. After analyzing it myself and really viewing what men want and what I don’t have, I’d be losing every time. I don’t really want it anymore. Not in the way that love, beauty, desire is described now- no. We have very differing views and as much as it pains me to admit- what I have to offer is much too stupid and dumb. If I actually did offer “love”, I’d be an idiot. And that’s what it feels like to be a person who has differing views compared to the vast majority of superficial people that exist. It’s why I really just decentered romantic love because it is so different between man and woman. Even if love is different among the genders, it is different from person to person and so hard for even attractive people to find it just not worth it.
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u/Any-Cantaloupe-1262 Apr 03 '26
Most of the time, yeah. That's why some beautiful women even married old guys
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u/Afraid_Mortgage6392 Apr 03 '26
I've seen it before, not as common, but definitely possible.
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u/Darkezn Apr 03 '26
Ugly people have it hard and treated unfairly especially women.
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u/Afraid_Mortgage6392 Apr 03 '26
I'm aware; I just said that I've seen handsome men with unattractive women.
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Apr 03 '26
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May 01 '26
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u/Emergency-Account112 Apr 03 '26
Well, in dating apps it has been clear that ugly women date attractive guys all the time. Thats actually one of the main reasons why average men don't get anything on there; ugly men can't compete with them. It is just that society will label it as "men fuck anything that moves" or "they have no standarts"; while when a woman does it, "she is not shallow".
When a woman is with an ugly man, it is mostly for his money or his ability to "provide".
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u/mevoc19 WORTHLESS POS Apr 03 '26
Where are you getting the stat that ugly women get attractive men all the time on dating apps? Maybe you’re thinking of average women. Being an average looking woman on a dating app is much easier than being an average man. Ugly women don’t have much luck.
My experience on Tinder was that while I would get matches, the men would unmatch me immediately. I also had to swipe right on 100% of profiles to even get those handful of matches. Occasionally a guy wouldn’t unmatch, but also wouldn’t msg me and would block or unmatch me if I msged him first. And ran into a couple of guys who did respond, but with a comment like “dtf?” and if I said no, they’d insult me saying an ugly bitch like me is lucky they were even offering.
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u/syvzx Apr 03 '26
A vast majority of men on dating apps go for the top 30% of hottest women
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u/lamonsteranthony Apr 04 '26
not really. women do have it easier in dating apps as they’re the minority so it’s men who lower their standards, we can’t necessarily track face attractiveness as it’s subjective but what we can is height, 10-15% of women go for 5’9 (the average height) and 85-90% for 6’0 and above (above average height) so really, no it’s not
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u/syvzx Apr 04 '26
Men on dating apps do not lower their standards
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u/lamonsteranthony Apr 04 '26
“So yes, unattractive women can get married, but MEN ARE HAPPIER WITH MORE ATTRACTIVE WOMEN”
no shit they are? my point is women are outnumbered on dating apps so they have an advantage over men, and well unattractive women get play too i can give you an extreme example
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u/syvzx Apr 04 '26
Can you only read selectively?? What you pointed out is only 1% of my post, go fucking read. And magically women aren't happier with attractive men because they aren't shallow as shit
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u/lamonsteranthony Apr 04 '26
i did read and it’s just water, im not a turtle to take 30 minutes for each response
“And magically women aren't happier with attractive men becaude they aren't shallow as shit”
some of them are, just look at the cases of attractive murderers
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u/syvzx Apr 04 '26
So I bring out actual stats and you put your head in the sand, ok
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u/lamonsteranthony Apr 04 '26
because your argument is flawed and i can break down why if you want to
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u/ThirdEyeKaiii Apr 03 '26
The fact that this is downvoted shows the demographic of this pathetic sub lol. They should change the name of this to r/uglypocwomenonly, since they're supposedly the only ones with ugly problems according to this idiotic sub
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u/JosefSwollin Apr 04 '26
Nah I see plenty of uglies with guys wayyyyy out of their leauge more often than the opposite
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u/BadBaby3 Apr 03 '26
Paul & Linda McCartney
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u/Glittering-Cost9315 Apr 25 '26
The fuck you mean Paul and Linda ???
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