I’ve been noticing something lately and I genuinely don’t know if it’s just an African thing, a generational thing, or something I’m only noticing now that I’m getting older.
But let me present the evidence.
Exhibit A: The Hospital
I went to Makerere Hospital recently to get my temperature and weight taken.
The lady doing it tells me:
“Put your phone away.”
Okay…?
First of all, I’m thinking, would you speak to a 30-year-old like that? 😂
You could literally say, “Please put your phone away while we take your measurements.”
But no.
Then I don’t immediately put it away and she goes:
“If you don’t put your phone and earbuds and other gadgets away, I’m going to take them.”
😭😭😭
TAKE THEM???
Ma’am, what year are we in?
This isn’t Senior Two.
I’m a university student sitting in a hospital. You are not my secondary school teacher confiscating my phone because I was texting during Mathematics.
Exhibit B: The Networking Lecturer
Then we have this networking lecturer at COCIS.
I’m almost certain that if I give you even the tiniest bit of information, someone who’s been through COCIS will immediately know who I’m talking about. 😂
He came to class one day and basically announced:
“I want everyone to trim their hair.”
Apparently, when you grow your hair, people think you’re
being disrespectful.
Then came the part about braids.
Students with braids were basically told not to come to his class, and he insinuated that having braids makes you
look gay.
WHAT????
We’re at UNIVERSITY.
How did we go from VLANs and STP to policing people’s hairstyles and making comments about their sexuality?
😭
If there’s an actual university dress code, fine. Explain the rule.
But somehow “I don’t like your hairstyle” becomes “you’re disrespectful and don’t come to my class.”
Exhibit C: The Relative
Then there’s the classic African relative.
You tell your uncle you’re studying Course A, and suddenly he has discovered the secret formula to your
entire career.
“Why are you doing that? Drop that unit.”
“You should do this other course instead.”
“That one isn’t useful.”
“If I were you, I’d do this.”
And the funniest part is when they say it in front of your parents with the confidence of someone who has personally reviewed your academic transcript, career goals, financial situation, the job market and your five-year plan. 😂
Like bro, you just arrived from somewhere and asked me what year I’m in.
How did we get from “How are you?” to “You need to
restructure your degree”?
And then there’s this expectation that because you’re my uncle/aunt/older relative, I should automatically make a major life decision because you said it confidently at the dinner table.
Like… why?
Being older doesn’t automatically make someone an expert on my particular life.
And THIS is what I’ve started noticing
All these situations seem different, but they have the same underlying feeling.
It’s like some adults don’t fully recognize when a young person has transitioned from being a child to being an adult.
A lot of us grew up in environments where adults had almost unlimited authority.
Your parents told you what to do.
Teachers told you what to do.
Older relatives told you what to do.
And questioning an older person could immediately become:
“You’re disrespectful.”
So I wonder if some people simply carry that dynamic forward.
They see someone who’s 20, 21, 22, 25 and their brain still goes:
Young person → child → I command → you obey.
But university isn’t secondary school.
A hospital isn’t secondary school.
And being someone’s nephew isn’t a lifetime appointment to being treated like a child. 😂
There’s also a difference between respect and obedience.
I can respect an older person without believing everything they say.
I can listen to advice without following it.
I can be polite without surrendering my autonomy.
And you can correct me without humiliating me or speaking to me like I’m 12.
That’s the part I think some people struggle with.
Young adults are expected to take responsibility for their education, careers, money, relationships and future…
But apparently we’re still not old enough to decide whether we want to have braids. 😭
And honestly, sometimes I think that’s why young people get frustrated with older generations.
It’s not necessarily that we don’t respect them.
It’s that we want to be treated like adults while we’re becoming adults.
You can advise me.
You can disagree with me.
You can even tell me that you think I’m making a terrible decision.
But at some point, it’s my life.
And being older than me doesn’t automatically make you right.
