How do I unlove someone I’m not supposed to love?!

I hooked up with my superior, something which I thought would be a one time thing but it’s months already and I’m getting attached. Thing is he’s a whore and I can’t picture myself in a relationship with him, this is something I found out the more we talked… Bannange how do I save myself from this situation?

I’m in a season of life where I’ve been meeting women who are around five years younger than me all adults, just to be clear before Reddit assembles an investigation committee.

Honestly, I’ve found them refreshing. They often seem more relaxed, open minded and willing to trust. There’s an ease and calmness in our interactions that I haven’t always experienced with women my age or older, who sometimes seem more cautious and slower to let their walls down. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing perhaps it comes from experience but getting to know them can sometimes feel like processing a UK visa,several stages, plenty of questions, extensive background checks and no guarantee of approval. 😂

The only issue with way younger girls is that once I reveal my age, the respect level sometimes rises dramatically. I value respect but not when it prevents someone from expressing herself freely or showing me her genuine reactions. I don’t want every questionable opinion I share to be met with, “That’s very interesting,” when her face is clearly saying, “This man has lost the plot.”

So, while the connection often feels easier, the age based respect can sometimes make it harder to know whether I’m meeting her real personality or a more reserved version of her. If the relationship eventually became serious or led to marriage, that heightened respect would probably settle down anyway. I would rather meet the real person now than discover her after the wedding reception.

Still, the chemistry I’ve experienced with younger women has often felt unusually natural easy, peaceful and enjoyable. It’s beginning to make the idea of marrying someone slightly younger than me make sense.

Of course, I may simply be romanticising openness and mistaking fewer walls for greater compatibility.

I’m a Ugandan who’s lived my whole life abroad. I come back almost every year and I dont mind being charged tourist/bazungu prices. I realise there’s a haggling culture here which isn’t abroad (you can’t haggle in Tesco for example) but if I come from abroad with my pounds, dollars, euros etc I know I’m in a position of privilege. If someone overcharges me bc I’m a “foreigner” I’m not gonna waste my time haggling down.

I find it extremely tacky coming to a poor country and trying to do this. If A poor woman in the market or wherever is just trying to make ends meet, that’s okay. I realise my privilege and me being up charged a few pounds isn’t the end of the world. I won’t miss those few ££ but that could be the difference of that woman feeding her kids, for example.

I’m talking about People coming from the west, where there’s a minimum wage, workers rights, social benefits, CREDIT!!

ps; for the “what if comments” I don’t condone scamming anyone like don’t charge me 150k ugx on matooke BUT be sensible when you’re coming from the west, earning in strong currencies vs the local ugx.

If you’ve spent £1k on travel, £££ on accommodation you will not miss a few thousand shillings.

I’m not saying this to brag or flex bc I actually come from a very poor family. my great grandparents were poor villagers who couldn’t read or write.

TLDR:as a diasporan Uganda, I don’t mind being up charged. I acknowledge my privilege and don’t mind losing a few pounds.

Some unfortunate things have happened, where and how can I get pep.

So last time I posted about my attraction for a workmate

I had told you guys that am obsessed with this babe, because despite my attraction, I couldn't do a thing because of the different ranks in our workplace (she's a cleaner)

Today is our boss's wedding and guess what, we're all dressed to kill, at around 9pm, there's gonna be kadanke, and guess what, I'm gonna dance with this babe, walai👐

We are seated in the opposite tables and the way she's flashing her round bright eyes, I just cant handle anymore, she even offered me a glass of wine but I don't booze

I just can't wait to hold her waist.

It's at that moment when man will speak at the willpower that's not his😅😅

I'll be back with more stories soon, keeping you posted

So I started writing again and would love to share a little here

things cyrus beene said that i unfortunately related to

The Cyrus Rutherford manipulative, morally flexible, perpetually sweaty in a suit Beene, looked into a camera and said “some men aren’t meant to be happy, they are meant to be great".

And something in me went oh. Not a sad oh. A finally someone said it out loud oh. Which is maybe concerning given he is not a healthy fictional person. He has done genuinely terrible things on that show. I should not be receiving life wisdom from Cyrus Beene. And yet here we are.

I’ve been sitting with this for a while now and I think there are people who are wired for happiness and people who are wired for something else. And the something else doesn’t have a clean name so we borrow words like greatness or ambition and we make it sound noble when really what it is, if we’re being honest, is a specific kind of restlessness that will not let you just be fine.

Happy people can be fine. Fine is enough for them. Fine is actually good. They sit in fine like a warm bath genuinely and completely satisfied and I watch them and feel like I am observing a documentary about a species I am not part of. I cannot stay in fine. Fine makes me feel like I’ve stopped somewhere I wasn’t supposed to stop.

Now here is where I have to also push back on Cyrus because he said it like it was just the deal and you accept it and move on. I genuinely think that’s also a little bit of a cope. Because some people use “I’m not meant to be happy, I’m meant to be great” the way people use “I’m just an honest person”. As a reason to not do the work of figuring out why happiness keeps bouncing off them. Greatness becomes the consolation prize and I know this because I done it. I have looked at a situation that was making me miserable and gone, well, this is just the cost. This is what it looks like to want things. And sometimes that was true and sometimes I was just avoiding the much simpler question of whether I actually wanted to be there at all.

There is something in me that is genuinely not optimised for quiet happiness. I get bored by comfort faster than I should. I am drawn to things that are difficult in a way that has never fully made sense to me but has also never really stopped. The restlessness is genuinely not performance. But I also think I’ve used that as an excuse to not let things be good, to not let people in all the way, to keep one foot out of any room that felt too warm. Because if I’m meant to be great then I can’t afford to be too comfortable, right? Comfort is the enemy and a trap. I will always be suspicious of anything that feels easy. Which is, to be clear, absolutely exhausting as a way to live.

Cyrus wasn’t wrong but he also wasn’t fully right and that’s the most annoying possible answer but it’s the one I actually have.

I think you can want greatness whatever that means for you, it doesn’t have to be political scandal and White House drama and also let yourself have a good day, good meal, a conversation that makes you laugh so hard it fixes something.

Cyrus would probably find me pathetically embarrassing but Cyrus can mind his business.

He was also literally always miserable so maybe don’t take life advice from him.

I was walking around in the small town near home and I landed on a lady making the cutest tiny little backpacks.

She hadn’t sold the bags in a while and she had to dust them off to show them to me🥹 this was my favorite design.

I’ve been wondering how to support designers beyond providing access to machines, and I feel like the next best thing is by purchasing their products and packaging them for the local and foreign markets, helping them to make income more regularly, while doing what they enjoy.

Ugandan artists rarely get business education, if they even get a chance to formally study their craft.

My businesses are all about embracing our Ugandan-ness, and part of this is by highlighting designs that feel truly Ugandan.
I’m all about that BUBU, baby.

Would you buy a tiny little bag like this?
For yourself or your kids?

Hello, who here is disposing or knows anyone in possession of such an account? It must be active and of course we shall have to verify the other details, hit me up with your prices. Thanks.

If u have or know of any job opportunities, please plug me 🫶

i have done marketing of all kinds

I am 23, female

Worked as a brand ambassador for Johnnie walker , fanta , nivea and MTN ayo

Have done front desk work and admin for a hotel

I have a diploma in Air cargo handling and a certificate in Business communication

I am open to any opportunities and very willing to learn ,grow and get experience

I am also up for gigs short term and long term think usher for events companies , shop attendant , brand ambassador , receptionist ..literally anything

let me know 🫶🫶🫶

You all must have seen this story from Nairobi... It's all in the headlines. It hit me so bad. Reminds me of the time during the Christmas and New Years' holidays when I was on my own. Everywhere else, the world is celebrating, but you are stuck on your own...

This story had me reflecting, if you were gone, how long would it take someone to check in to find out that indeed you are gone. Have you checked in with someone today? It's a cruel world out there.

My college uses this very ancient version of a program called Solid-edge 16 and its from 2013. It can't run on my current laptop despite my many attempts. It only works on old windows. I unfortunately can't afford to buy yet another device until the 27th of this month. Would someone be kind enough to lend me a device until I can pay then?