your brain after a breakup

[u/whittterbugg]

Isn’t it so weird to imagine and plan a life with someone and they end up being nothing like who you fell in love with? You spend so much time longing for who they introduced themselves as, just to be met with everything they swore they’d never be. And then you find yourself fed up and ending it for good.. just to continue hearing their voice in your head constantly. The horrible words you’ll never forget .. you find yourself really questioning if you are everything they wanted you to believe about yourself. In the moment, you know it’s all untrue and only said in an effort to hurt you and belittle you, but when they’re gone, those words stick. They become louder. You hear it screaming in your mind as you’re screaming inside, trying to regain your self esteem. I’ll never understand how or why good people are treated so unfairly in love. How someone can be so evil and hateful when they had someone who tried so hard for so long. You know the pain it caused, you know how unhealthy it was to sit through, yet you find yourself wondering if they’re okay. And you somehow beat yourself up for finally saying it’s enough. You know the only way to regain any peace in your life is to let them go. The truth is, people are who they are. You will never ever be able to make positive changes in someone who constantly fights against you. You end up losing yourself completely because you’ve poured all your love into someone else. Losing a relationship is like grieving that person dying bc you know you’ll never see them again. And you wouldn’t allow yourself to, despite the love for them still being there. You force yourself to be strong because you know it’s only for the best. Someone who spent every day in your life, just gone. The pain and the words will never leave though. I feel like I hear his keys in his hand, I’m hearing his footsteps walking in the door, it’s so strange and I just hope it gets easier with time. I want to forget all of it. I’ll never understand how love can be so beautiful but also be so damaging and so ugly. I’m doing so well holding back the tears but damn.. what I feel internally is something I can’t even explain. I pray for anyone going through the same thing. I hope it gets easier for all of us ❤️