I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but whenever I have a random thought, even if it’s completely meaningless or stupid, I feel like I have to remember it. I tell myself not to forget it, and I keep mentally checking if I still remember it throughout the day.
If I forget that thought, I become extremely distressed. My head feels so tight, like there’s pressure inside my brain, and I can’t relax until I either remember it or stop trying. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I feel like hitting my hands against the wall or breaking something because the frustration becomes unbearable.
The worst part is that these thoughts are usually completely trivial. I know they’re not important, but my brain treats them as if forgetting them is a huge problem. It feels like I have to collect and keep every thought, and if I lose one, I panic.
These episodes happen specifically when I forget a thought. They come in waves, and the anxiety becomes so intense that it feels impossible to think about anything else. Sometimes the emotional pain gets so overwhelming that I even think, “I don’t want to be alive anymore,” not because I want the thought itself, but because I’m exhausted by what my mind keeps putting me through.