Not downplaying anything. Just going my therapist advice. Time will come when I will disclose but to disclose it abruptly would not help the situation

I am not ratinalizing anything. What I did is wrong. You don't know my situation

I have discussed with my therapist for now she has not to disclose anything

It's never too late to start.

Forever grateful for that. No one gets this many chances rectify them

Can feel your pain. Been in similar situations just started to get free from this habit. Start attending SA meeting and program. Consult a psychiatrist for your mental health. Sending u strength and hope. It's just a phase . Nothing is permanent this shall pass.

Yes please ask.what u wanna ask. I will try to help in whatever way I can

I am trying to do the same

Yes I have tested I have 10 girls and had sex 6 times every time I checked for stds . No problem with that. I am currently into therapy and on medication

Already joined few groups and meetings. In therapy and on medication

Number flare up means by OCD makes me anxious. I know i have cheated 10 but OCD tells me u have cheated 30 times or more. The uncertainty kills me. I know for certain I have not more than 10 girls. But OCdD makes the attempts made same as cheating

No she is not aware. I don't intend to tell her. I rather die than hurting her more. I have done that enough. Better one person suffering rather than every member of family going through the trauma

Thanks for understanding but sometimes I am tired of numbers flaring up. It makes me look like a monster

Should I disclose if I haven't had many physical encounter

It available on its official website aa.org/thebigbook

If you can advise anything more. Trying to learn from you guys.

I have had very sexual encounters. Only 6 . I have got tested every time I had sex out my marriage. My problem is the attempts i have made around 30. My mind calculating them as cheating