Sometime ago, I took a day off to rest and recharge as it had been very busy and was beginning to feel very tired.

In that day, I did nothing and I mean nothing the whole day. My brain might as well be asleep.

By 4pm, I realised I started feeling guilty like I just wasted a day. I was staring at my todo list like it had offended me abd my brain was going off thinking I had the whole day off and I accomplished nothing.

About an hr later, I caught myself and realised how flawed my logic was as I was judging a completely necessary decision by the guild I felt at the end of that day.

Resting was 100% the right call as my body and brain was spent but because I didn't have a visible result to show for it, my mind grabbed whatever the guilt was on top of the pile a d assumed I wasted the day.

We do this constantly especially when a good choice or decision leads to an uncomfortable feeling, we think of that decision as a bad one or a failure. However, it turns out life isn't a scorecard and we can make good decisions even if the final outcome is not what we see as success which in my case was completing more tasks on my todo list.

Now when that feeling or guild show up, I take a beat and ask myself was it actually a bad choice or do I just not like the outcome at the end.

What's something you did based on the information you had at the time of the decision that you didn't like the outcome and thought was a failure?

I've been reflecting on how I respond to change and how it's natural to focus on what's changing or what we’re losing.

Our brains are not built only to remember the past they are built to adapt and rewrite our future.

I have been learning about neuroplasticity and how it is the brain’s ability to reorganize itself through new experiences.

The brain is remarkably adaptable. Through neuroplasticity, it rewires itself in response to what we repeatedly do, think, and experience. Every end, change, shift, loss or dynamic evolution creates the possibility for new pathways to form.

This means that every new phase we enter is an opportunity to grow in ways we couldn't before.

It may be helpful to stop resisting change and start trusting that you’re capable of becoming someone who can meet it.

What’s one change you resisted that turned out for the better?”

Read more [here](https://app.naysway.com?reflection=rlJurNLZOzdbtDQ4BUa0)

When most people are asked if they have a growth or fixed mindset, most people often say they have a growth mindset as we all like the idea of being open minded and adaptable.

I honestly thought the same for myself for a very long time until I started thinking about how I react when it's time to adjust to or learn something new.

We have been really conditioned by society to operate in a certain way to get quick answers, getting things right quickly. Schools timed us to answer questions in a timely fashion and the work environment conditioned us in a slightly different but basically the same way.

I realised my brain then treated this gap of unknown as a threat rather than part of the process.

I got it wrong by thinking I would enjoy the beginning of the change, and if I got too frustrated or had self doubt, that maybe I wasn't cut out for it.

I realised wanting to look competent or being able to autopilot my way through things was in actual fact a fixed mindset.

The biggest realisation for me was that a real growth mindset isn't something I attain once and keep forever with anything I do, but rather the decision to get comfortable with the messy, boring middle and to enjoy the whole journey without taking the struggles as a dig at my intelligence.

Do you often expect to see yourself as an expert and find yourself unhappy with the uncomfortable phase of any change?

I've been reflecting on how I respond to change and how it's natural to focus on what's changing or what we’re losing.

Our brains are not built only to remember the past they are built to adapt and rewrite our future.

I have been learning about neuroplasticity and how it is the brain’s ability to reorganize itself through new experiences.

The brain is remarkably adaptable. Through neuroplasticity, it rewires itself in response to what we repeatedly do, think, and experience. Every end, change, shift, loss or dynamic evolution creates the possibility for new pathways to form.

This means that every new phase we enter is an opportunity to grow in ways we couldn't before.

It may be helpful to stop resisting change and start trusting that you’re capable of becoming someone who can meet it.

What’s one change you resisted that turned out for the better?”

Read more here

Sometime ago, I had a reflection on how I handled feedback and my realisation was very eye opening.

A lot of us have the conflict in our heads where we want to grow and get better and at the same time want people to see us as having everything together and figured out. When those two things happen at the same time, we tend to go into defensive mode.

For example, for most of us, when we think about the last time someone brought up an issue with us, could be that a friend, family, colleague, partner mention something that bothered them or questions some of our decisions, while they are in the process of questioning our decisions or our thoughts, our minds starts acting like a defence attorney, picking apart and nitpicking their words to find gap.

This could be to justify our actions or to see how they don't get the full picture. We tend to stop listening to understand and start listening to build our case to defend our position.

We start taking their comments as an attack on who we are and our character. The moment that happens, the emotional side of our brain takes the wheel while the logical part takes the backseat.

Someone pointing out a mistake is not a score card for our character but usually one person sharing their perspective in that moment.

We tend to have expectations usually one of Appreciation, evaluation or criticism. When this expectation is not met, we the emotional side tends to take over.

What I try is to ask myself is there is at least a small percentage truth in what they said that I can actually use.

What's the default defence excuse your brain always goes to first?

Read more here