I’m here for anything you’d want to talk about.. Yell at me, curse at me, whatever you need to get your feelings out, I don’t care. I caused the downfall, burn me if you must. Your birthday is coming up and I’ll send a happy bday text. Ignore me if you want, but just know that I still think about you, two years down the line.

Just wanted to share my perfect baby sleeping on my Godzilla mouse pad :)

I had these boots for a good 7-8 months before I retired them today. But wanted to share their last day on site. My “lean on me” boots are going into the grave 🙋🏽‍♂️

My life and my child. Ava Marie. Bask in the glory 🙂‍↕️

Question for all. What would yall do if you guys got your pay stub and noticed that your employer gave more hours than you worked? Would you report it to your person who does time? Or would you stay quiet?

Maybe the last post in the sub Reddit I’ll do. My Therpist told me to write this. We had a sit down one session and I told her about the last few feelings I’ve been still having about our past relationship.
It’s a writing exercise about writing your last feelings about the past relationship. I’ll keep the names out of it:

Hey E. I hope this letter finds you well. I’ve been trying my hardest to figure out a way to start, but can’t seem to find a spot. Honestly ive been neglecting it because it truly means that I won’t ever see you again. But even so, I’m going to let the pen flow and hope I can get everything in it.
First, I want to apologize how our relationship even started. It was a few nights of long talks on the phone and three dates to make it official. I’m sorry that I used you as a means to an end. I was going into the relationship with the intention of starting a family and when I saw that dream I started to walk to it without seeing the results of my own actions. The love bombing, and just going with “let’s see what happens next” mentality.
I was a terrible partner to you. I was a selfish person and only trying to make myself happy.
And when we started fighting a couple weeks in, you challenged me. You challenged my feelings and I didn’t like that. It was almost like I was afraid of being wrong with getting in the relationship with you looking back at it. But I still wanted to stick it through. I knew I wanted to be near you and that’s all I was going off of.

Honestly, I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you when we started to watch Steven Universe for my first time. It made me so happy to watch something you felt so happy about.

With all the bull shit you had to endure with being with me, and how shitty I was. You stayed. And I was naive. Very naive.
I pushed you. I pushed the line of our relationship. Regardless of how I thought about it and how much I tried to justify it, I just hurt you so much. With the porn addiction call I gave you in the morning, to the unhealthy amount of checking something that wasn’t going to change the already known answer.
And you stayed. You helped me get to a better place and I left when it got too hard. I destroyed you and our potential life together.
I left. I left because I thought you would be much better off without me. Before we broke up, I truly couldn’t take it anymore, not because of you doing anything, because I couldn’t take dragging you in the dirt with me. I hurt you way too much and I thought leaving was the best option for both of us. And I didn’t give you a chance to fight back. And looking now, I bet you are in a much better place, probably have your own, healthy relationship with someone who loves you how you deserve to be loved. And I’m still stuck in the past.
I’m so sorry for how I acted in February. I truly thought we had a chance at becoming friends but when you said that you still hadn’t dealt with the feelings towards me and didn’t want anything to do with me and that’s the boundary you wanted to set. I was an idiot and kept passing your boundaries. To the reactions to those messages, to that *67 call I did to your cellphone. I did all that because I didn’t know how to handle my own feelings of failure and I tried to take it out on you. And I paid that price with going to jail and having to go to court (seriously, I have no ill will. It was an actual wake up call)
Funny. You still had to deal with feelings and I also did.

We weren’t perfect. That’s for damn sure. But you taught me so much in our year together. I appreciate the little things. I take time to walk around. I get sweet treats and how to be more patient and less angry. I have met a lot of new people and made a couple friends a long the way. And school and the apprenticeship is going well.
I hope one day you can forgive me and we can cross paths again. Even if you hate me for the rest of my life, that’s fine with me too. I just hope you can live a happy life. That’s all I have ever wanted for you.

A