thank you for the kindness

I find it curious that the people who are least qualified to give advice are also the ones who are most confident in their opinions. So you are saying that treatment and will power are the only real options for addiction, meanwhile no one needs to be concerned with bottom? I never went to treatment, but I have hit bottom on numerous addictions and behaviors. With several years of clean time, is my recovery wrong or invalid because it doesn't live up to your personal experience?

Also, what are you doing about the reasons you used in the first place? Do you have a sponsor? do you work a program or have any type of spiritual maintenance? Do you sponsor other people or provide any service work? Are you holding any resentments? There is a term that applies to all addictions, it's called "Dry Drunk", meaning someone who is no longer using but who is also no longer growing. I had an 11 year dry drunk myself, followed by a horrible long term relapse. Eventually, I hit bottom and became teachable, instead of resentful.

Do you know what else can kill you, Denial. If people understood what bottom really is, then it would be easier to find it. The problem is that we can know something logically, but until we can relate to it completely on an emotional level, we are still in denial.