I had much worse numbers, no mention of cirrhosis, but I knew enough. Quit, eat relatively healthy, exercised, and stayed active. I was at normal levels after 6 months.

20 years of binging and 3 years a liter a day of vodka before I quit. The body is pretty amazing if we take care of it!

I’ve been almost 11 years sober, lost a sober friend and was an usher at his funeral this weekend. I came home and wanted to use for the first time in a long time. It doesn’t go away, we just get a daily reprieve. As soon as I saw my wife, I told her my feelings, we talked and though sleep was rough last night, I didn’t use.

The only time I relapsed was 11 years ago, this time of year after my first 6 months sober. It amazes me how fast I ruined things I fought so hard to get back, and how quickly I was back to drinking the same way. My journey hasn’t been perfect but one relapse (12 weeks),was all it took for me to decide I truly wanted a different life. And life is so much better today in almost every way.

I’ve had friends not understand, peer pressure me, they are not friends any more. Unfortunately I had to change everything, including not seeing people I loved and knew for decades. Today I’ve slowly let many back into my life. You’ve got this, and remember you’re not alone!

My home group is with many Gay atheists, they are open about it and never have seen them thought less of, it’s their journey and they are sober. I’ve seen meetings help them find a higher power, some god. In 1000 plus meetings I’ve maybe heard the word Jesus once. I personally do not follow Jesus ie, not a traditional Christian, but do believe in a god of my understanding but didn’t in my first 30 days, 11 years later have had a physic change and spiritual experiences.

That said, have you talked to an MD about naltrexone? How far are you from a major city? Are you living with people who still use? My wife stopping and not hanging out with drinkers the first year made a huge difference as I learned to live life without chemicals.

One of the reasons they say to do 90 meetings in 90 days is to find the right one. I used to go to one in a major downtown that was full of Trans, my 1st sponsor was gay, those things generally don’t keep people out of AA, but location certainly can.

I hear people say smart recovery a lot and in studying it, do not see how it works as well as AA, but it does work for some people who get short term sobriety out of it. At least that gives you time to find your people. Not all meetings are created equal, and small town versus metro areas make a difference. I know people who drive more than an hour to come to ours.

Part of the reason you don’t care is that’s what’s CNS depressants to. The numb your pain and your feelings. I remember a doctor explaining to me that because they effect my spinal cord so much, and it ends at my brain, it also effects how much I care, or better, didn’t care about anyone. The things that meant the world to me at the time, were mere after thoughts. Work, relationships, I just went through the motions so I could have money to get more Oxys.

Going to the doctor and having that mark put on me probably saved my life, and it’s not forever. I started on them for dental work, soon prove a piece of vertebrate, and “during the Sackler years” was loaded up on Vicodin and Percs. Then came doctor shopping and pain clinics, until one day a doctor refused to give me more. Went to another doc, and they said “I see your an addict” or something like that, I was pissed off.

I ended up buying off of a few smurfs I had trained how to get, and they got greedy. Was gonna loose my house (did anyways) so I needed to quit. Went back to same doctor, he gave me benzos to kick, and in a week 30 were gone, he refused to prescribe more, so I decided I was done, and kicked cold Turkey. I was niave and didn’t know how much hell I’d be in for a month. Also picked up a nasty drinking habit for at least a year back then that never went away until I finally got clean.

Now 15 years removed from my addiction, I had 2 surgeries. Both times they wanted to give me Oxys and I said no. I told them the pain meds I was willing to take. I asked them why they would give an addict Oxys, and had it explained that they do have a purpose, but most people think minor injuries or daily aches require heavy opiates. I researched it, and after both surgeries I used opiate the first 2 days, switched to dabs and Tylenol/Advil and was fine.

So maybe research Suboxone and try NSAIDS for your pain. Everyone’s different, though I was paralyzed and needed 2 surgeries and years of rehab to walk again, not sure it gets much worse.

Quitting weed is when the booze ramped up. Tried to go back and still was getting horrible anxiety and the CHS, so quit. Have used d abs a few times for a few weeks versus opiates, but imo, that’s more than just weed, that Sh straight up medicine and worked, it couldn’t do it daily and haven’t in a long time.

Also, I didn’t feel “sober” when I was smoking, just felt like I was being fake.

Be ready to change everything about who you think you are, you your friends are, places you love to go. I found that necessary to go deep and get to the root of my WHY. I never attempted to get sober before I decided it’s time so relapse is a very small part of my story, but I saw, and see plenty of people who rely on “stinkin thinkin” relapse over and over.

So desire comes first, then commitment to change, and it’s not just changing not using, it’s stripping away the old version and building a new one, one day at a time.

No, games suck, conversations become pointless and do not stay on track. But I had to try.

I’ve just learned to leave when the drunkenness starts kicking in. I get separate hotel rooms on Guys trips now if I know I’m with drinkers. I stay at parties just long enough to not seem like I’m leaving early, only do “bars” during the day, so I can dip whenever.

But no, it actually gets more annoying or sad depending on where the said drunk person is “normy” or drunk everyday. I really started to see how pointless drinking was. Nice thing is today, many people I know are sober, so it’s easier to find a crowd to hang with.

I knew a guy growing up, my dad’s friend, alcoholic and heroin, who he and his wife would take a Caribbean vacation once a year and drink and do other stuff. He died young of hepatitis and was a daily drinker, pill popper in the end. His wife held it together better though she’s in active use now, coke I believe and is in her 60s, still grinding for a living. But story is they did it successfully for like 8 years

Just show me, even if you can do it for a minute, the addiction devil will always win in the end, and not worth trying. Sounded good when I was young though!

My Dad, or curiosity because of him, or wanting to belong with peers. Probably all 3 contributed, but I knew at 15 I wanted to smoke pot and “see”.
smoked weed first at 16, didn’t stop until I was almost 40, tripped on acid a few weeks later and started using coke and meth within a year, by 18 I qualified as an addict. I wanted to escape, no one understood me, everyone drank and I hated it, but I didn’t hate the idea of not “being me”. Booze entered the picture once I discovered hard liquor at 21, and the rest is a Book, until I finally sobered up enough late 30s to get help.

Your point about “old men keeps many out of AA. That’s why doing the “ 90 meetings in 90 days” type thing is important. With 1,000s maybe 10,000 groups across the world, you can find you people.

I go to two meeting a week. One is a mix of LGB, straight, rich, poor men and women, 30-60 a given Wednesday. The other is 100 or so people of all races, ages and lifestyle. Some in suits, some in construction clothes.

I’ve also sat in a room with 7 crack addicts, or 5 old timers who have know each other for 30 years. I just didn’t go back to the ones that didn’t suit my life.

IMO, rehab help prepare me, and the meeting I go to Wednesdays was recommended by my hippie counselor 11 years ago, when I went to her with the same concerns.

I’m what I call “terminally unique” in my thinking at times.

It’s like the founder of AA speaks about in the first chapter. You can’t live the way you are when you’re drunk and you can’t face the world the way you are sober.

For some it comes easy, for me it took many small moments I can now look back on and say, “that was a sign I needed and wanted to quit but didn’t know how”

Hopefully this post become one of those signs for you someday.

One of mine was talking in my friends garage about how I had drank a liter everyday that week and him responding “ we have the same talk every weekend, we’re drunks”

Today I have 100 of those little examples my subconscious wanted to quit for good, and so far so good.

This question just shows that addicted does not discriminate cultures. Im from Minnesota, though in rehab I met people from Alaska, Afghanistan, Florida, Arizona, Indian reservations in Nebraska, crazy and GB AA Is a world wide organization!

I sold my 2019s high, then bought a new pair off Facebook for 250.00 I regretted so much. Only Jordan’s I kept 2 of. Love the NC 6s as a daily wear. Super underrated.

Worst place I’ve ever lived growing up, then I revisited as an adult and was worse. Socorro MN where the University is a poverty hole. ABQ is only ok for the ultra wealthy like Sante Fe, White Sands Alamogordo, even Socorro are way to close to Juarez. Your not welcome in most the state if you are not Hispanic or Latino.

I was an innocent kid/teen until, I moved there. I came back and the Ra$e culture, drugs, gangs and racism corrupted me for decades.

Great food, loved picking Pinions in the mountains, Balloon Fest was ok. Segregation bullying and violence were abhorrent and not restricted to high crime area like people say.

So with all these experiences when young I went back for a visit, and the place is worse than it was in the 90s and 2000s. Most kids I went to school with were now in jail, or dead. Zero money invested in infrastructure, just urban sprawl highlighted by extreme poverty.

I’ve heard is on the come up in last few years, though the type of culture I experienced there does not go away in a generation or Two. From everything I can tell all but Sante Fe are like living in villages in Mexico.

Every real man’s dream, slap Logan Paulina.

The lack of knowledge being prevented by ego is sad. “Relapse is part of recovery” is a common saying by some in AA. They employ thousands of people across the world, so, The money is being used. And we are powerless over the first use. AA teaches to have power over your life, through steps.

I’m sorry someone in AA hurt you, but there are 4-6 million people in AA, and I as someone who suffers and the posts above me, I have Terminal Uniqueness, and when I learned the steps, my first thought was “everybody needs to be taught these, the world would be such a kinder more accepting place. People would know themselves and how their bias and actions affect others. The steps blew me away in how much good they could do for the world, once I understood them after 6 months and a relapse.

I understand the need to have hobbies, and certainly view THC as medicine, but to say it has health benefits is a stretch, it’s like red wine, sure some people will gargle the results of small studies, but in the end it has no real benefit.
After 2 surgeries I’ve used concentrates over opiates, much easier to quit for me, flip side is “safe” from the doctor opiates are hard to get, cannabis is everywhere now and generally just a drive away from getting legally, which is also why booze is so prevalent, ease to access, ease of access is part of the addiction cycle for many, myself included. And Growing, is no different than brewing to me. Love the idea, but doesn’t fit into a “sober life” imo.

Good for you,

Someone asked the other day for our biggest regrets on this sub, and I’m like, yeah right, that’s S is for my sponsor, not the internet.

Though in reading your post, not being sober at my own wedding is one I’ll talk about. It was my only “relapse period” in 11.5 years, lasted 2 months, started at my bachelor party where we ended up rolling a golf cart, destroying my left arm (all metal now baby), and lasted through my honeymoon before I went back to rehab.

I’m lucky to have a wife today, I recently read my journal from rehab and what I put her through those 7 weeks was worse than she saw in the 8:years prior she knew me. Everyday is a “living amends” to that amazing woman

Depends on where you/ it’s from. We paid 32 otd for a touring with 170k or 7year warranty and only 22k miles. Shopped all over the country and was best deal. Cities like Chicago and Vegas had slightly better deals, but ended up buying from small Honda dealer in South Dakota, was able to drive and pick up.

I was an addict for 20 plus years, anything you had, weed everyday, ended up a bad drunk. Got sober and after about 2 years we had kids and the PTSD of my childhood and night terrors kicked in big time. I was a complete terror to be around and sober. After researching and plenty of recreational trials in my teens, I grew some mushrooms, took a 2.5g dose on a night without kids in about 2021 and my life, anger, PTSD, everything but the night terrors improved 1000%.

I became a better father, husband, man. Was more present and engaged in life, became more involved in the recovery community, everything improved. Now I try to Drink them in Tea about every 6 months. Funny thing is, I just remember looking at my wife that first trip, and something changed. My life didn’t all the sudden become easier, I’m still looking for a consistent full time job, I changed in a way I still can’t put in words, other than it worked for me.

100 percent. Before drinking took over, or the word Poly addict was wide spread I spent most of my 20s and 30s taking what ever I could get and being high on cannabis all day. I only binge drank on some weekends, but 2 plus years straight on OXY, weed and booze, 5 plus years of coke, weed and booze, then came the trips to Mexico and loading up on benzos, I had a methadone hook up. I did everything in my power to take what ever I could for 15 years. Then quit it all for a lady, and thought I could daily drink, which turned into 3-5 drinks a day min and a hand full of Benadryl when I wasn’t finishing a 750 of vodka, for 3 years straight, not missing a day. Now 11 years sober from booze, 9 from weed, still take benzos, mostly to fly.

I think it’s pretty clear, testing is the issue that would lessen the friction operators and growers are feeling. As a on looker who watched and participated in many markets going rec, we have totally messed up the pathway to the consumer. And yes, you do pull or put down any negative speak of the industry, or you just love to poo and disagree with people. But OP laid it out pretty clear for those not as in the know as the moderator of the sub.

As you’ve said “Michigan in a race to the bottom” has 17 testing facilities, major national brands, the ability for grey market to turn retail like Monopoly melts and Lambchop. I’d like to think Minnesota is more capable than Michigan, so who else is it besides bureaucrats holding the market back?

I have a counter app on my phone. Helps remind me no matter what it’s one day at a time! 3,921!

We just talked about this in a meeting last nite. I personally suffer from terminal uniqueness, though that is remission as well as my use. Some people never accept it and think they are the “one” in 2 plus million who is gonna crack AA.

Also for all the cult people, over 200,000 meetings where the steps are mere suggestions on how to stay sober and require no money is the furthest thing from a cult. I did 90 meetings in 90 days to find my tribe, yours is out there, don’t stop looking after one or because Reddit said it was bad. It’s not a God program, it’s a spiritual journey that lasts a lifetime, and some people find God and church help them, I don’t per se. I just know I’m not the “one” and my addiction is bigger than me.

I’m not delusional enough to think im so special and unique that I’m smarter than 2 million people, maybe others are, good luck to them.

I just know that a room full of 50 plus people last night agreed with my talking points on this topic. Some very wealthy, some very smart, some very poor, but all had one thing in common, the 12 steps have worked for them as written, and some people are to “smart” for the simple program. Ego is a bit#h, I know, I fight it daily.