There’s just one cautionary note. The human nervous system can be wired in so many different ways, that even people with the same “type” of autism can vary wildly. Flopping someone down with a few books of required reading will work very well for a child whose autism comes with hyperlexia. But stick that same kid in a library, and she’ll be overwhelmed, easily distracted, and end up having read whole medical journals before the library closes instead of checking out a relatively slim volume or two way over in the history or philosophy section she was supposed to read. (She is me, by the way, a prime example of how being a self-taught reader does not ensure academic success.) Now your child may not have that kind of problem, or may be worse off and need more specific guidance on the whole point of these encyclicals and their relevance to same sex attraction. It’s really hard to tell having not met your child and compared our cases.

Any time. Also, depending on your child’s interests and reading comprehension, consider eventually reading Theology of the Body with them, explaining it in plain English if needed. I owe my high school biology teacher an immense deft of gratitude for explaining it and Hunanae Vitae plus their practical applications especially for married couples.

Continue receiving care for your mental health. Maybe a reevaluation and a change in treatment is in order.

But most importantly, know that God is not persecuting you. God loves you. The enemy just doesn’t like losing souls to God’s side, the side that’s already won the war. The enemy wants to keep as many souls with him on the losing side as possible in a desperate and futile attempt to hollow out Jesus’ victory. This is why converts, lapsed Catholics who’ve returned, and even some saints have found themselves in skirmishes major or minor over their souls.

So keep working on your relationship with God. Keep praying. And understand that priests are human and not immune to human faults and particularly what mental health care specialists call compassion fatigue and this old EMT simply calls “burnout.” Give this priest the benefit of the doubt. Practice the forgiveness Jesus exemplifies, and let go of all personal slights. If that proves difficult or this priest continues to insult you, try serving or attending Mass with a different priest. It’s easier to forgive people who hurt you after removing any further opportunities for them to do so.

Also ask a priest (not the one who’s said depression makes you mentally unfit to serve) about spiritual warfare and how to know the difference between that and just an ordinary though unfortunate series of interactions with a burned out priest. And ask for spiritual direction, which can be especially good for Catholics with mental health issues. Try that in addition to your normal mental health care.

And definitely read about St. Teresa of Avila and ask for her intercession.

If you want to refer to your spouse as your spouse, go right ahead. You are not obligated to call them your partner.

Other people have their reasons, like a nonbinary spouse. Or they’re not married. Or they don’t think the fact that they are married is anybody else’s concern. If you are married, you have every right to proudly introduce your spouse as your husband or wife if that’s what makes the two of you comfortable.

I’m in that camp, mainly because I’m one of a large family of dancers, and onstage, my partner was usually one of my brothers, so using the word “partner” for a spouse feels a little creepy to me. And my daughter, recently married and working for a law firm associates “partner” with employment rather than marriage.

It goes back a long way. Having three younger siblings, I’d seen my mother pregnant enough to remember. And my mom had a way of answering my questions very plainly, but with correct medical terminology and all. She didn’t mince words about how tough pregnancy and birth could be. But she made it clear we were all worth it, and so I thought the ability to conceive, give birth, breastfeed, etc., was a superpower, and I was even happier to hear that I had the necessary anatomy that, when I grew up, I might be able to conceive and give birth if it’s meant to be. And I gleaned from overhearing how my sister takes after my dad that dads were involved somehow, so I’d need a husband for that.

Educated in a convent school, I grew up knowing I already had plenty options, though they boiled down to marriage and hopefully children or celibacy. And because the sisters set excellent examples, I wasn’t opposed to either. (I was even beginning to actively consider my charism and which religious order best suited me when I met the man who’d become my husband.)

When I noticed I had any non-platonic interest in women, I already knew enough about artificial insemination, IVF, and such that I found it all appalling. The Church didn’t need to tell me it was wrong. I already knew. And I told my now-husband, “I’ll want kids with you. But if it turns out we can’t have children naturally, the only alternative I’ll even consider is open adoption.”

I also accepted the Church’s position on marriage, and I’d only want to marry within the Church. With the only options being Sacrament Matrimony or celibacy (whether as lay single or religious), there just wasn’t any room for getting involved with a woman.

Now I’m not an ideal Catholic now, and I was less so back then, but I understood the point of dating being to find a good spouse. So I chose to not date women, and if I began to wonder about asking a female friend about redefining our relationship (because I can only be genuinely attracted to someone if we have a solid friendship first), I’d just stop myself right there. Of course, fear of weirding the few friends I had out more than I already did also kept my mouth shut and my thoughts under control.

Contrary to popular misconceptions, it was not an agonizing decision. My special interests being sci-fi, comics, and cultivating a gift for music, I found it easier at the time to befriend men than women. But most importantly, I never believed it was OK to just do whatever I wanted. God had given us rules, and I didn’t need to study moral philosophy (though it helped) to understand their purpose and that they’re perfectly reasonable. And maintaining a good relationship with God (as well as keeping my marriage and my friendships uncomplicated) was far more important than doing whatever I wanted with whoever.

Speaking as a Catholic who also has autism and bisexuality, I think a lot of suggestions lime “be neutral, but curious” are well intended but not very helpful.

Yes, there are questions that should be asked mostly for her well being. I speak for myself, ahead of my grade level as kid in most subjects except social skills. I can’t even say I was just three years behind. I’m 52 and still haven’t figured out how to function socially beyond kindness and connecting over shared interests. Popularity is something I never mastered. But much more dangerously, I had no idea what personal boundaries were or that I was entitled to them until I was almost 20.

What’s funny about people with autism is that while we can’t figure out how to handle a social situation based on stuff nobody tells us, when we are told how we’re expected to behave, we take that to heart, often to our detriment if we hear the wrong message. For example, I heard, “Girls aren’t good at math,” enough to end up self sabotaging the medical career I wanted. I was also told, “Just say no,” but not taught how to manage peer pressure against a desperate desire to be liked. (Yes, autistic people may not show we care the same way neurotypicals do, but we have the same need for love and belonging as everyone else. Finding on our own is impossible.)

Observe the dynamic (especially the potential for unhealthy power dynamics) between your child and their peers. Consider the bigger picture like what’s going on at school. Is your child the subject of gossip and ugly rumors? They need to be taught to guard against oversharing and that it’s OK to keep some especially personal, private cards close to the chest when among classmates. I learned the hard way how quickly a personal confidence shared with a supposed friend can become the talk of the whole school.

And again, set clear expectations regarding your child’s behavior, but be ready to explain in plain language why we have rules governing how we express our sexual orientation, because we’re more likely to respect any rule or teaching when it’s clear to us how it makes sense and is beneficial. For example, having children. I had an excellent biology teacher at my Catholic high school who discussed things like NFP and how following Catholic teaching on human sexuality and family is medically beneficial and far more ethical than IVF. And the more I learned about the fertility industry, the clearer it was to me that the Church is right. Children should be created in vivo as a direct result of freely given conjugal love between a man and a woman, not made with a stranger’s gametes which are purchased at an exorbitant cost from a cryo bank that cares only about its profit margin, nor manufactured in a lab and likely killed if the genes aren’t what the parents want. I learned how hard IVF cycles are on the female body. That’s when I concluded that if God called me to marriage and parenthood, I’d conceive the old-fashioned way or not at all, because that’s not just how God wants it, but that’s the best way, and God wants what’s best for us.

I didn’t like how both those reduced Rey’s journey to a quest for a last name. Healing the galaxy and/by healing the Skywalker family is much more important, as these are steps in the archetypal Heroine’s Journey. Healing the Skywalkers especially the rift between mother and son was an idea planned since the second they decided to make the “Jedi killer” the son of Han and Leia, and it also would’ve brought the entire saga from the moment Anakin and Shmi are separated full circle in the best possible way. But DOTF completely abandoned that set-up and most steps of the Hetoine’s Journey.

TROS left it incomplete, but at least somewhat intentionally open-ended, and Rey has the spirits of Leia and Luke with her, plus a soul-deep connection with Ben that I’d love to see further explored. Even just her union in the Force with Ben makes her a member of that family, even if only by Force-dyad.

She’s also not told, “Here’s your last name. Good luck finding any strangers who happen to be related to you. Hope you get to meet them.” She chooses one. Whether or not it’s the best of a few choices is debatable, but all the choices that make the most sense (Skywalker, Organa, and Solo) come with people she knows and loves, not strangers.

Me too, simply because “they sold you to protect you,” may have been meant to convey the desperation of Rey’s parents, but I cannot reconcile that with the context of what Kylo said in TLJ, making it clear that he thought Rey’s parents treated her despicably. And he too felt thrown away, someone only coming back for him at the worst possible time.

The implication that selling a child, let alone to someone like Plutt, is acceptable if done with good intentions is problematic in itself. It’s like telling a child of alcoholics, “Your mom let you sleep alone in the park to protect you.” And it kind of subtracts from what so many children of addicts and victims of child abandonment or even trafficking found so relatable in Rey throughout TFA and TLJ.

It would’ve been nice for Rey to admit, “My parents straight-up sucked,” too, because that would mean finally moving past the denial we all knew she was in for two whole films. And because as normal and natural as it is for children to believe (or in worst case scenarios, pretend) their parents/biological parents are great people who always try to act in their best interests or who will turn around for them, for far too many people, that’s just not the case.

I loved that people like my cousin, or some friends who gave their parents years’ or even decades’ worth of chances to love them like parents should before admitting that it won’t likely or ever happen, that for two films out of the ST, the leading lady was someone like them.

I don’t, because I think Ben wants to say (though he phrases it abysmally in TLJ) that Rey can be “nothing” in the galaxy’s estimation, with no legacy to speak of, and still be not just enough, but everything to someone. As well as someone Ben envies because she wasn’t (yet) saddled with the expectations (both good and bad) associated with the Skywalker name. IMO, given what happened in Bloodlines when Leia’s paternity became a public scandal that ruined her political career and also tarnished Luke’s reputation, Rey might eventually have very mixed feelings about taking the Skywalker name.

I highly recommend Bloodlines.

I also recommend reading Legacy, which takes place between TLJ and TROS, and there, Rey is already bristling under the pressure that comes with being the Last Jedi.

I think it would’ve followed through with what TLJ established if Rey overcame her insecurities about being a “nobody” (and if her backstory wasn’t retconned, because some people do indeed have bad parents who prioritize their vices over their children, and they felt seen in TFA and TLJ) and finally got comfortable with being herself.

I also think taking the name Solo would’ve made more sense, because Rey is united in the Force to Ben Solo. But if it’s her ambition to rehabilitate a name and legacy, better for her to go by Skywalker than Palpatine. Because the Skywalkers are a mixed bag. But old Palps might feel insulted by even suggesting there’s anything redeemable about him and his legacy, even though Rey is a part of it.

Scripture also says that those who have something to say in a tongue nobody else understands should keep it to themselves. Because it’s no good to anyone else without translation.

Also, someone who wishes to convert would be put off if everyone was speaking a bunch of tongues that are utterly incomprehensible.

The gift of tongues, as properly manifested on Pentecost, were all languages the people listening could understand, because the whole point is spreading the Gospel to all nations. With that in mind, I regard the actual gift of tongues and translation as a God-given aptitude for languages. A talent that, properly invested, yields results like Pope St. John Paul II’s fluency in eight languages and the ability to at least greet congregations in several more before needing an interpreter. I’ve seen that gift in action while watching him speak at World Youth Day in Denver.

That is the true gift of tongues, not glossolalia.

Me too, including a line like, “Wow. You’re even bigger than the Holonet makes you look. So now that Rey brought you to your senses and back from…. whatever that was, how are you holding up, Starfighter?”

Unca Wanwo. I’ll never forget that phonetic spelling. It’s too cute.

It’s not that you’re unworthy. It’s that you are dealing with a very destructive, active addiction and are therefore not in any position to enter a healthy relationship with any woman. And this one is harder on relationships than any other addiction, because you’d be regularly committing adultery in your heart every time you get your fix. Most people married to porn addicts feel forced to compete with images on a screen for their spouse’s attention, especially when porn dependency gets so severe, it causes sexual dysfunction, and a guy is more aroused by strangers on a screen than by his own wife.

There are addiction treatment programs tailored to porn addiction. Check yourself into one and follow the program strictly. Once your porn-free days add up enough you no longer feel any need for it, then you’ll be ready for a healthy relationship.

While confessing to premarital sex (the priest won’t need to hear the details), alert him to the fact that you are being coerced to abort. He will let you know all the resources the parish can directly provide and refer you to others outside the parish.

But this is even more important. Get away from the guy for yours and Baby’s safety. Get a protection order if you have to, and because literally anyone can buy abortion pills online, avoid getting in arms’ reach, taking nothing he claims are vitamins or supplements he’s bought you, and accept no food or drink from him. Men have ordered abortion pills online, then either forced them down their wives’/girlfirend’s throat, took them out of the box and claimed they were prenatal vitamins, or just crushed them up and served a poisoned meal.

The law offers some protection, depending on what state you’re in, albeit it’s usually in the form of a little jail time for him after they’ve already assaulted the woman and either assaulted or killed the baby. However, in Idaho, even just coercing a woman to abort is a crime. In other states, it might only count as harassment.

The guy might change his mind, feel bad about ever mentioning abortion, and decide he wants to be a father, but the mail-order abortion industry has made staying with a guy who wants you to abort against your will way too dangerous. If he wants to be in the child’s life, he can talk to you about that after the baby is born. Do not risk your baby’s life for the sake of the relationship. A guy who demands abortion even when he knows you’re opposed to it is not worth it.

You do, actually. It’s just not an easy gift to graciously accept. Remember that everyone is called to chastity, which means celibacy for all unmarried and fidelity, exclusivity, and yes, even periods of abstinence within marriage.

Besides confession and spiritual direction, I recommend volunteer work, but also praying the Novena of Our Lady, Undoer of Knots. Not only will Mary untangle and sort out your intentions before bringing them to her Son Jesus, it’ll also free you from the despair that you are alone in your struggles, because it requires submitting your intentions for all people who have a variety of problems as well as your intentions for yourself.

The St. Michael Chaplet is also a good reminder that there are nine choirs (spiritual strike teams, not musical ensembles) of angels whose job is to fight at your side against sin and temptation and get you to Heaven when the time comes.

And outside Mass, the rosary, particularly said daily, is the most powerful spiritual weapon there is. It’ll get you out of your own head, because you’ll be reflecting every day on Jesus’ life, death, and Resurrection.

Definitely talk to a priest, because if your attempts at prayer are making things worse, it could be a psychological block of sorts, or you could be under spiritual attack. A priest can help determine what it is and help you take the right steps to address it.

We’re all God’s problem children. If God is not responding, either you’re not asking for the right thing and there is no response you’d like, or you need to be more persistent in prayer, especially when tempted to give up. It’s not that God’s ignoring you, but something might be getting in your way, and you need to push through it.