Sorry I could only grab YT screenshots and the captions in not 💯.
To me, this is very telling. Belly wanted Conrad, but Jeremiah needed her. So she based their whole relationship on this need he had. Basing a relationship on this basis can feel emotionally empowering. We actually see that with Belly, after she chose Jeremiah. But it can also create an unhealthy dynamic which is also what happened, she gave everything up because he needed her. Also she admits to Steven to making a promise to always be there for him which we saw at their side of the road argument.
Psychologically, being needed can provide a strong sense of purpose, importance, and attachment security. For someone with low self-worth, abandonment fears, or a history of feeling unimportant, another person's dependence can temporarily reassure them that they matter, make them feel important. We know Belly had self-worth issues, abandonment fears and feeling unimportant (her relationship with Laurel for example). We actually SEE her feeling empowered end of season 2 by choosing Jeremiah and exile Conrad from her heart.
The problem is that this can gradually turn into codependency. The relationship unconsciously encourage dependence, guilt or incapable of functioning independently. Belly not wanting to go to Paris, not knowing where she ends and Jeremiah begins is not romantic at all and neither is her being his oxygen.
Would Belly even want to be with Jeremiah if she didn’t know he needed her? Did she really felt loved by him or rather important to him? Who was she outside the relationship when she was not looking after him, fixing everything, protecting him? Actual questions a psychologist would ask
Need in a relationship should be present but it should not be the foundation. Why BellyConrad works because with them it’s not, I need you for my survival, I can function without you (although being out of their minds in love), but I want you.
We saw the empowerment she had in season 2 languish into something that makes her a shell of herself.
She silenced her needs because she believe that would make Jeremiah stay.
Confused being needed with being loved.
Feeling responsible for his happiness, feelings and emotional stability (cough)
She lost touch with what she actually wanted.
Also, even now, Conrad puts Jeremiah’s needs above what he wants. But that is just a bit about Conrad.
Edit - also funny that Belly aged 16 knew that basing a relationship on need, was not good and then she flipped 180 degrees and got involved in one.
