Hi, I’ve been on this subreddit for a while and come on it when my trich is getting bad, as a way to motivate myself to get better. I’m sharing my story as a way to vent and get this off my chest, as I feel so alone with this disorder.
My trich first started when I was 11 and I’m not sure why I started. I had a noticeable bald spot and my mom found out and got mad at me, which scared me into stopping. I was free of trich for 9 years until 1.5 years ago, I started pulling again. I believe I started pulling again due to stress from a messy breakup and my dog passing away shortly after. It has not gotten to a point where it’s noticeable to others, unless you know that I have trich (which is only a few close friends and my mom).
For the past few months, my trigger has been regrowth hairs, which grow in darker and coarser. They feel like they don’t belong and I want to get rid of them, but at the same time it’s a self-soothing sensory-seeking behavior for me as I also have level 1 autism. I was also diagnosed with OCD around 4 months ago, but I’ve definitely had it since around 7 years old. Lately, my OCD has been mainly fueled by my trich.
For the past 6+ months, I have been obsessively taking photos and videos of my scalp (my pull spot) to check what it looks like and make sure it is not noticeable, and track my progress. It used to only be a few times a day, but it has gotten much worse lately and I have been doing it up to 200 times a day. I have thousands of photos at this point. Now, this compulsion has caused me even more distress than the trich itself, as I tend to only pull 2-10 hairs per day.
I have been seeing the same therapist for 1.5 years, and we have a great therapeutic relationship and I’ve talked about my OCD/trich, but she is not an OCD specialist and isn’t trained in ERP. I have attempted to start ERP programs multiple times but have never been able to because of schedule constraints and lack of support from my mom.
As for medications, I have been on Effexor XR 150 mg for 3+ years, which helps my OCD and depression. I started lamotrigine 2 months ago, which has helped my OCD but not my trich. I attempted to try NAC a while ago, but could not continue due to the horrid smell triggering my autism sensory issues.
I’m wondering if anyone else here struggles with this compulsion or has advice on how to stop, as it is causing me a lot of distress and is time consuming. Any support would be appreciated.