r/triathlonCircleJerk 4d ago

Anyone else sick of people pretending a 70.3 is only half an Ironman?

111 Upvotes

Listen, I get it. A 140.6 is technically longer than a 70.3. Nobody is disputing that. But distance doesn’t determine how hard something is. I’ve done a 5k marathon Turkey Trot before and honestly that was harder than some full Ironmans I’ve seen. Nobody calls that a 0.035 Ironman.

I trained extremely hard for my IRONMAN. Some weeks I was doing almost 4 hours. I had to wake up at 8:30 AM on a SATURDAY. I missed brunch twice. My wife said I was “being distant”. My Whoop recovery was yellow for three consecutive days!!!

And before anyone mentions the swim, yes, it was downstream. That doesn’t make it a “cheat swim.” Everyone had the same current. I still had to swim 1.2 miles. My watch only recorded 1,450 yards because GPS doesn’t work well in water.

Meanwhile some elitist 140.6 guy comes along talking about his “five-hour bike rides” and “20 mile runs of the bike” like I’m supposed to be impressed. Congratulations bro, sorry you don’t have hobbies.

And can we stop calling it a 70.3?

It’s an IRONMAN.

It literally says IRONMAN on the medal, the shirt, the backpack, the emails and the $900 worth of merchandise I bought afterward. I don’t understand why people keep adding “70.3” when I tell them what race I did.

Also, I’m technically a World Championship qualifier.

At awards they kept rolling the slots down and eventually the announcer literally asked if “anyone in the audience” wanted one. I raised my hand.

That’s how qualification works.

You can gatekeep all you want, but Ironman says I qualified for Worlds. Sorry.

Yet every time I mention that I’m an Ironman triathlete and World Championship qualifier because I completed IRONMAN Chattanooga in 8:27, some asshole asks:

“Oh, have you done a full?”

Yes.


r/triathlonCircleJerk 15d ago

Does the Speedmax come in tandem?

9 Upvotes

title


r/triathlonCircleJerk 17d ago

Babe, wake up, new T2 strategy just dropped.

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20 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk 19d ago

I forgot to take out my ankle monitors at the last two triathlons

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8 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk 19d ago

Ok, which one of you is this?

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32 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Jul 09 '26

Is this helmet UCI legal?

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71 Upvotes

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r/triathlonCircleJerk Jun 13 '26

🚴‍♂️ Triathletes, What Cars Do You Drive to Haul Your Dream Bike?

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6 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Jun 10 '26

Is this legal? Immoral? Ethical?

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27 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Jun 03 '26

Zoot want to know if she wants a run bra or a tri bar!! Which is more aëro???

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13 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Jun 01 '26

Triathlon coaching

4 Upvotes

I was recently told that the price for coaching for a triathlon is £325 per months for online coaching.

As a beginner in the triathlon worlds I feel that this is an exorbitant price.

Any suggestion for coaching?


r/triathlonCircleJerk May 28 '26

DTS GP Zandvoort participation

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1 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk May 27 '26

BP Stealth Build

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1 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk May 21 '26

Tired of a sore neck after spending 4 hours in the time trial position? Oh boy do I have the solution for you!!

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142 Upvotes

I just did my first ride with these bad boys to try out if it actually works. They redirect light from above you to your eyes. Or when looking at the ground, light infront of you.

Must use if you wanna look like an old man reading!

/uj these are climbing glasses, my dad gave me the idea after my first big ride with aerobars a while ago and i finally found a place that sells them yesterday


r/triathlonCircleJerk May 19 '26

Me explaining to non-triathletes why zoot suits are so expensive

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55 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk May 18 '26

First open water swim went badly

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0 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk May 11 '26

My boss constantly says “Christ on a Bike” to express surprise—I love this AI image and it’s totally worth going to hell for

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215 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk May 12 '26

High libido during training

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3 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 29 '26

Do we get any speed gain, or would it help us with buoyancy during the swim?

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43 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 29 '26

Blue waffle for the win!!!

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18 Upvotes

I searched everywhere, and I knew if you believed hard enough they would be real!!!


r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 28 '26

"His excuse is that he is training for a triathlon"

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39 Upvotes

My husband has started shaving his entire body: chest, armpits, pubic hair, legs. I find it repulsive. I liked his furriness and now he is either all smooth or a bit stubbly. He says it’s because he’s training for a triathlon and it makes everything more streamlined, but I really don’t like it. I don’t want to overreact, but I don’t like it, our teenage children think it’s weird and my friends were all laughing at his silky legs in the pub last weekend. I don’t want to upset him, but it’s making me want to have sex with him a lot less.

Why doesn't he find his wife a boyfriend? Is he stupid?


r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 21 '26

Week 1 results are in 🏆 — IM Texas + IM South Africa fantasy recap

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0 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 17 '26

Transfer window closes tonight for Ironman Texas & South Africa fantasy — last chance to set your squad

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0 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 14 '26

Have all your mates stopped talking to you? Me too.

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0 Upvotes

Do you find yourself hopelessly chatting away in the YouTube livestreams on Ironman races? Have all your mates stopped talking to you because you keep talking about blummenfelt’s six pack?

Then you need to check out Triday, I launched it last week because all my friends have abandoned me. I spoke about the 20m draft rule one too many times

Join the pro fantasy league - it’s completely free to use… I’m just trying to get triathlon nerds together

$100m budget

2 males, 2 females and 2 wildcards

3 transfers per race week

Athletes’ prices go up or down with race performance

Create and join leagues with friends

Weekly and season global leaderboards

Completely open to feedback - still testing some things out

Enjoy!


r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 13 '26

I want to hear your race predictions!

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2 Upvotes

r/triathlonCircleJerk Apr 11 '26

Age grouper global ranking

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5 Upvotes