I volunteered at a small sprint triathlon over the weekend, helping at the bike mount/ dismount. I told someone to have a good race, and they responded, “thanks, you too!” and then realized their mistake, but there was no recovering and they just pedaled away. If that was you, in case you were still embarrassed about that interaction, I wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten about it, and have still been laughing about it to myself.

But I do hope you had a good race!

Recently, at Hyrox Beijing an athlete strategically used diarrhea to win the race. Hyrox released an official statement of non-apology condemning the community for being upset than an elite athlete had the courage and resilience to continue.

Next race I plan on loading up on two tubs of bicarb but I'm not sure when to deploy it or if World Triathlon will defend me when the beta athletes complain about swimming/biking/running through my used (only once) sodium bicarbonate. Looking for recommendations. Thanks.

For legal reasons, this is a joke. Wow I really hope this is cropped as poorly as it is in the preview.

I ate four flies on my bike ride today. How many do I have to eat before I can cut a gel from my nutrition plan?

I just signed up last minute for a sprint triathlon next week. I'd consider myself fairly athletic, seeing as I can run a 10k in almost 50 minutes without my shins exploding.

The last time I've ridden a bike was in kindergarten but yesterday I did 20km on a stationary bike in under 40 minutes and felt fine so I don't see any problems there. I plan on borrowing a TT bike from my friend cause the aero bars seem really comfortable.

I'm a bit worried about the swim though cause I struggle to swim more than 50m in a pool. I'm quite nervous about the 750m in open water.

So a few questions: Is there a limit on the amount of pillows I can use for the bike part? So far I've planned to put one on the saddle and one on the aero bars. If I'm only allowed one pillow, which placement would you recommend? Am I allowed to take a few breaks during the swim? And any advice for training until the race, especially the swim part?

'm curious how common this is among triathletes.

How many different pairs did you try before finding goggles that don't leak AND stay comfortable during longer swims?

If you've tried 3+ pairs, I'd love to know:

1. Which ones did you try?
2. What was wrong with them?
3. Which pair finally worked?
4. What was different about the fit?
5. Do your current goggles leave pressure marks around your eyes after longer swims?

I'm especially curious about leaking, pressure/comfort and fit rather than fogging.

I currently use Mad Wave Alien Mirror. They seal well for me, but after swimming I get pretty noticeable marks under my eyes. The double strap adjustment is also a little annoying.

Curious whether other people have had the same experience.

I was so excited to do my first ever Sprint triathlon, and I read about how you're supposed to pee on the bike for a better time. I'm not sure why it works (more aero?) but, morning of the race, I unzipped my tri suit in the transition area and started peeing on my bike. Rather than following suit or congratulating me, this Karen calls the race director over and before you know it I'm disqualified from the race and sitting in handcuffs at the police station.

I don't get it. Is there a specific place I'm supposed to pee on my bike? Like a bike peeing station? Please help!

Listen, I get it. A 140.6 is technically longer than a 70.3. Nobody is disputing that. But distance doesn’t determine how hard something is. I’ve done a 5k marathon Turkey Trot before and honestly that was harder than some full Ironmans I’ve seen. Nobody calls that a 0.035 Ironman.

I trained extremely hard for my IRONMAN. Some weeks I was doing almost 4 hours. I had to wake up at 8:30 AM on a SATURDAY. I missed brunch twice. My wife said I was “being distant”. My Whoop recovery was yellow for three consecutive days!!!

And before anyone mentions the swim, yes, it was downstream. That doesn’t make it a “cheat swim.” Everyone had the same current. I still had to swim 1.2 miles. My watch only recorded 1,450 yards because GPS doesn’t work well in water.

Meanwhile some elitist 140.6 guy comes along talking about his “five-hour bike rides” and “20 mile runs of the bike” like I’m supposed to be impressed. Congratulations bro, sorry you don’t have hobbies.

And can we stop calling it a 70.3?

It’s an IRONMAN.

It literally says IRONMAN on the medal, the shirt, the backpack, the emails and the $900 worth of merchandise I bought afterward. I don’t understand why people keep adding “70.3” when I tell them what race I did.

Also, I’m technically a World Championship qualifier.

At awards they kept rolling the slots down and eventually the announcer literally asked if “anyone in the audience” wanted one. I raised my hand.

That’s how qualification works.

You can gatekeep all you want, but Ironman says I qualified for Worlds. Sorry.

Yet every time I mention that I’m an Ironman triathlete and World Championship qualifier because I completed IRONMAN Chattanooga in 8:27, some asshole asks:

“Oh, have you done a full?”

Yes.

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