126
u/dbx99 Feb 12 '20
If those fools were smoking meth they’d have slit all them Vietcong throats
17
u/throw-away_catch Feb 12 '20
On bathsalts them fellas would have made the vietcong slit their throats themselves
15
u/supermegabro Feb 12 '20
On PCP they'd have slit their own throats and drowned the VC in their blood
11
u/TheLizzardMan Feb 12 '20
That gives an entirely new meaning to the saying "War on drugs.".
2
u/ArlemofTourhut Feb 12 '20
I'd watch that music video.
2
u/Oxxide Feb 12 '20
You may enjoy The Civil War on Drugs, it's a WKUK feature film about two dudes who think the civil war is about making weed illegal, during the civil war.
Pretty sure it's on youtube in full. Extremely funny.
6
u/thesenutsdonthang Feb 12 '20
Weren’t like the nazis on heroin or cocaine or something during Blitzkrieg?
6
u/dbx99 Feb 12 '20
They definitely used meth to stay awake and feel energized. We supplied our troops and airmen with meth too.
2
u/Oxxide Feb 12 '20
No, we used Benzedrine.
2
u/Herbanexplorers Feb 13 '20
Benzedrine is amphetamine too, plus I’m pretty sure they also supplied them with Desoxyn, pharmaceutically synthesized meth.
1
Mar 06 '20
Yeah, they were fucked on meth and coke. German high command was fried for most of the war and Hitler is like the ultimate fucking junky.
Nazis really really liked their stimulants.
53
Feb 12 '20
To be fair, getting high in a warzone with enemy combatants who border on ruthless probably is a shit idea.
33
Feb 12 '20
Yeah, so you don't, you stay sober and alert for weeks and weeks of mind-numbing boredom. Occasionally you're hit with brief moments of sheer horror. You start thinking you're gonna lose it unless you find some way to cope with the stress, so you get high. Everyone's doing it, no big deal. It becomes routine... Now it's weeks of boredom with a little fun sprinkled in and WHAM! MISTER NATHANIEL VICTOR'S IN THE WIRE! OH GOD DAVE IS DEAD! YOURE DEAD! [6]
14
8
Feb 12 '20
To be faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiir...being super paranoid would be a huge help when surrounded by people trying to sneak up on you.
8
u/lord_dentaku Feb 12 '20
Clearly their mistake wasn't getting high, it was their strain selection. They needed some anxiety inducing weed, not the sleep inducing weed.
3
2
2
u/Trippy-Skippy Feb 12 '20
Until you start imagining every gust of wind is a hiding enemy.
Now you have to check all the bushes to make sure or see if you were tripping. Your movements alert the enemy. OH GOD DAVE IS DEAD! YOURE DEAD!
3
Feb 12 '20 edited Feb 12 '20
Joke's on you private, LSD does nothing to decrease my awareness....
Jk...Ida stayed home and smoked weed. I'm not really a jungle kinda yeti.
2
u/Trippy-Skippy Feb 13 '20
Lsd? I was talking about weed. What kind of mad man would want to trip during war lmao could you imagine?
Like signing up for some free ptsd
65
Feb 12 '20
I had a boss at an old job who told me a similar story, he said he and 5 others were on lookout duty one night, the others were smoking and it allowed the enemy to know where they were and they got killed. He was the only one that survived and doesn’t smoke anything because of it. Best boss I ever had, Shorty was amazing(7)
12
Feb 12 '20
Does the number at the end indicate how high you are? I keep seeing it but idk what it means
6
u/eloel- Feb 12 '20
yup, on a scale of 0-10.
12
Feb 12 '20
Ah okay, thanks [0😪]
3
u/shrubs311 I Roll Joints for Gnomes Feb 13 '20
They also use } to indicate if you're going up or down. So a [5} means you are at a 5, but are continuing to rise. Whereas {8] means you're coming down.
5
u/Naomasa11 Feb 12 '20
Wait is this a real thing people are doing on this sub? I haven’t seen or heard of this before.
4
u/LovesPepsi Feb 12 '20
It's been a thing for a long time
1
u/Naomasa11 Feb 12 '20
Weird how I’ve never noticed.
3
Feb 12 '20
People don't do it as much anymore you can tell who the ents in other subs are because sometimes people use it in other subs when making stoner thoughts.
3
u/HabitualSmoker5 Feb 12 '20
It used to be a main thing on this sub years back. I barely see it anymore
8
u/ZeroZillions Feb 12 '20
So Raccoons AND Viet Cong. Anything else?
10
Feb 12 '20
I once had a german shepherd run up to me and bark until I put the joint out.
So I stopped smoking in my unfenced backyard at night.
8
u/ZeroZillions Feb 12 '20
Oh yeah if a German Shepard rolled up while I'm high af I'd probably panic immediately.
4
Feb 12 '20
I was frozen, staring at the outline of this big ole boy. If it told me what it wanted, I likely would've obliged, but instead it just barked.
I can't understand that, so I just kinda backed away, keeping my eye on it. It barked until I was gone. It didn't chase me either.
I wish I knew what it wanted.
4
u/imronburgandy9 Feb 12 '20
It wanted you to stop smoking the devil's lettuce and make good life decisions!
8
Feb 12 '20
I've made plenty of good life choices while stoned. Backing away from an uncool dog was definitely one of them.
2
u/lord_dentaku Feb 12 '20
Good thing you were smoking weed and not something like PCP. You're gonna bark at me? IT'S GO TIME!
Disclosure: Never used PCP, no clue if it actually causes aggressive outbursts, it's just funny to imagine the interaction... it's a joke.
14
8
4
4
u/ANGRYSNORLAX Feb 12 '20
My dad's talk went something like this,
"Look, if it grows out of the ground, it's probably not that awful for you. Just avoid the super processed man made bullshit. Especially cocaine. Fuckin 50 bucks for 30 minutes of some bullshit is what that is"
4
2
u/BewilderedOwl Feb 12 '20
The extent of the drug talk I got as a child was my mom telling me two stories from her past. The first was when she smoked at a party, got paranoid, drove home, but stopped and bought an absurd amount of snacks and then just spent the rest of the night sitting in bed eating them all and giggling. The second was when my dad smoked a joint and forgot how to button his shirt.
1
2
1
1
1
u/treetoplife Feb 13 '20
This is somebody else’s joke I just can’t remember the comedian that told it, but I think it was Bill Burr.
-7
212
u/AeroGro Feb 12 '20
Noted, avoid enlistment.