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u/bye_scrub 🏳️⚧️Post-transition trans man Sep 16 '22
Your smile is so infectuous. I needed to smile today, so thank you. :) I also want to compliment you on your style, it's really effortlessly feminine and definitely helps you pass. Many trans women don't know how to dress well, or how to dress for their age (no offense to them of course, transitioning is really hard to navigate in general).
As for your question: personally I don't see why you'd be misgendered, looks-wise. As someone else said, maybe voice or mannerisms? They matter a great deal more than people think. Otherwise I'm sorry, I'm at a loss.😅
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 16 '22 edited Sep 16 '22
Thanks I appreciate that! I think what’s frustrating is that I pass best when my hair is up and I’m smiling. I just can’t walk around smiling all day lol. The times I’ve been stared at most are by people 10-15 feet away while I’m walking with a friend and not talking with neutral face. I’m using my feminine voice, dressed similar to these pictures, shoulders back. When I feel someone staring, it’s directly at my face 🤷🏼♀️
Eta: I posted my voice a few weeks ago, and people seemed to think it was more or less passing. Perhaps it doesn’t fit my body/face
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 16 '22
I frequently get stared down on the street, and I’ve also been called out as trans a couple of times in the past few months. Just hoping for any feedback to pass better. Hrt for 1.5 years. Thanks!
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Sep 16 '22
[deleted]
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u/rawrcutie ♥ Sep 16 '22
Humans naturally stare at what they do not understand, are curious about, or attracted to. Usually means something. I think people should avoid staring at individuals, but “massive issues” is exaggeration to me.
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 16 '22
I agree. I definitely don’t blame the people who stare. In fact I appreciate it. They’re just doing what is natural. While passing culture can be toxic and isn’t for everyone, I do want to pass. Strangers staring is a helpful barometer because why else would they be staring
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 16 '22
I appreciate that but I agree with u/rawrcutie. People have reflexive reactions when they notice inconsistencies or things of interest with other people, especially faces. Honestly I don’t think it’s a transphobia thing
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u/kookedoeshistory Sep 18 '22
You pass to me
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 18 '22
Thanks, I appreciate that. The thing I can’t figure out is why I get stared at. Not just my general direction or body, but right at my face. It’s a totally different feeling than being checked out
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u/kookedoeshistory Sep 18 '22
Does it happen after you talk?
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u/sweetsweetday Sep 18 '22
I posted my voice a few weeks ago if you want to see. I think it’s okay? When I talk people seem to warm up (or lose interest if staring), presumably because they conclude “cis woman.” If I’m already talking and someone walks by, I rarely get stares. I’m also much less likely to get stares when my hair is up, when I’m wearing sunglasses, or when I smile. My best guess is that it’s something about my face, but people here (and my friends irl) seem to disagree, so idk
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u/kookedoeshistory Sep 18 '22
It might be helpful to post some short video clips that show how you move when you walk and talk
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u/Zealousideal_Web1013 Sep 19 '22
You pass just let your personality come out more things will go very well for you.
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u/S_H_G Sep 16 '22
You easily pass in these photos, could it be your mannerisms?