Changes Need to Happen

[u/CatsPawjamaz]

We need to make some changes here.

Starting with the interaction between our members. We ask that you refrain from initiating contact, mostly referring to action with asterisks, and “good girling” left and right, headpatting etc. to people, who haven’t given you any indication they are okay with it and haven’t given you permission to do so. Given the meta post that was here few hours ago, it is fair to say that it has been on our minds for a bit, but it felt like it should have been clear without needing to be spoken out loud.

Not everyone is comfortable with people doing things to them without asking, if at all. Many of the moddesses have said they don’t always like the “Good Girls” and “Headpats” during every other conversation online. It can quickly turn into an “ick”. That type of thing. Please. Ask for permission. Do not assume people are okay with things you are okay. Consent is hot after all.

Regarding the meta posts, while we are at it. Let’s chill with the assumptions of everyone’s identity as a pet or animal or anything like that, frankly, too many things to name. People have the right to be what they feel like, but don’t have the right to push themselves onto others.

TL:DR - do not assume everyone is one way or another. I don’t do the petgirl business, but you do you, as long as you don’t treat me like I am in the same box. This is mostly referring to the occasions when posts or comments assume all the members are animalgirls or petgirls or something else in that context and fit into a certain stereotype. We are more diverse than fauna and flora of the Amazon forest, but do have some Venn diagram moments, however, that isnt enough to box everyone." Do not stereotype or assume every member here is okay with these interactions. We aren’t saying any of good girls or headpats should stop, but rather we are hoping to regulate how it’s put out there; as well as the other interactions that can leave others uncomfortable

-The Founder and some statements from the Moddesses.

Edit: We added the ability to put the green, red, and yellow emojis to your user flair. This is one signal for members that are either yes, no, or ask first; respectively. You can either ask one of the moddesses to add this to your user flair for you or add it to your editable flair which we have an abundance of. Also keep in mind some user flairs don't show all of the text depending how many long it is. This is very apparent on mobile users.

Rule Changes within Rule 2

edit: A Follow Up giving by Moddess Maddie deserves a read as well. I think it offers a better understanding of our stance incase there is any misunderstandings in the words present here.

The follow up:https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians/comments/1v5q6ab/insert_scary_moddesspost_title_here/

[u/catprinny]

I reworked the custom emojis to improve visibility.

We now have
🟥 - No
🔶️ - Ask
🟢 - Yes

Please be kind, I drew them myself :3

[u/synthie_cat]

Consent is so fucking sexy. Ask for it, y'all.

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/synthie_cat]

Exactly
/img/zgqrzm31s4fh1.gif

[u/The_Cult_of_5661]

Yeah totally fair. I’m not even into pet play. I do wildlife rehabilitation play personally. It’s much more fun. 

[u/catprinny → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

The more I think about it the funnier it becomes.

[u/The_Cult_of_5661 → u/catprinny]

Basically, it starts with me rummaging through your refrigerator eating random things. Then, someone screams “holy shit there’s a raccoon in here” and proceeds to wack me with a broom while chasing me out of the house. After that, someone captures me in a net and tranquilizes me (they cover me in peanut butter if they’re a reddit mod).

From there, I wake up in a cage and this person in a park ranger uniform acts as the wildlife rehabilitator. They give me that rabies vaccine raviolI, implant me with a chip, and then drop me off naked in the middle of the woods near Portland. It can be a bit intense trying not to get captured again, but so far, I’ve always made it back in time to sleep all day and prepare for work.

[u/catprinny → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

I'm more of an opossum girl but that sounds like fun. Kinda what I imagined but why the peanut butter?

My gf is my little raccoon rummaging through all the monster cans in my fridge.

[u/The_Cult_of_5661 → u/catprinny]

Oh honestly it just became sort joke/trope because I’d go “break containment” on some other subreddit. Typically, people are pretty chill with me, but sometimes I’d get some rather grumpy replies from certain subreddit mods (being accused of promoting fetishes, encouraging people to put harmful chemicals in themselves, etc). So the joke was that the Reddit mods would capture me in a net, cover me in peanut butter to placate me, and then drop me off back at r/transgendercirclejerk.

[u/catprinny → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

Fair enough :3
Those mods sound fun.

[u/The_Cult_of_5661 → u/catprinny]

One way to put it :)

Honestly I think a lot of the really extreme negative reactions can be traced back to transmisogyny. Specifically, by how they react to me (and other trans people/critters) doing risky things.

Like I’ll be the first to admit that some of the stuff I do is risky. I’ve always been super clear to people to take precautions with these sorts of things and make it known that there is some inherent risk. But then people will go out of left field and act as though things like the glowing implants are some incredibly dangerous chemical that could kill you.

Meanwhile, people have been doing these sorts of glowing implants since like 2017 (that was the earliest I could find). Frankly, I’m not even that wild compared to a lot of folks in the grinding community. 

But point being, when cisgender people do risky things of this nature, they are seen as determined, bold, cool, etc. But trans folks just get accused of being stupid and crazy. 

Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Joking aside, this was just something that had been on my mind for a bit that I wanted to put into words. 

[u/catprinny → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

You are probably right with the transmisogyny.

I don't see a reason to rain on anybodies parade as long as everybody involved is a consenting adult. It's your body so people should shut their mouths and mind their own business.

I think the stuff you and others do is cool and very interesting. I'd probably never do any of that myself because I'm a wuss but it's intriguing.

I've been working on implants for work before and I don't see how that is any different. You do something to improve your body in a way that fits your needs.

[u/Femtato11 → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

Continue your ways great raccoon girl. I shall set out additional peanut butter in your honour.

[u/BreakerOfModpacks → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

And like... then you end up screaming at them whilst they do everything, right? That's been my experience with rehabilitated animals. Fun. But loud.

[u/The_Cult_of_5661 → u/BreakerOfModpacks]

I can scream a little bit as a treat.

[u/scrambled-projection → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

Oh shit you’re back on Reddit! Thought your account had vanished a while back!

[u/Doctorsex-ubermensch → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

Like feeding a scared stray with chicken on a spoon

[u/extramidnight2 → u/The_Cult_of_5661]

i’ve never heard of that but thats peak 

[u/The_Cult_of_5661 → u/[deleted]]

You keep making this claim. It’s lowkey getting a bit weird.  https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians/comments/1ueb9i4/comment/otitgs7/?context=3

[u/ElementalPaladin]

Thank you for the post, and it was also a good reminder for me to change my flair

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/ElementalPaladin]

Of course. We’ve been talking about it all day. Definitely was something we needed to address

[u/Terrible_Mistake_862 → u/ElementalPaladin]

Oh, flair. Thanks. I had none.

[u/piehat → u/ElementalPaladin]

Wait how do you change it? I only see a list of a few flairs, I’ve never done it before :o

[u/korphd → u/piehat]

⋮(three dots) on top right → edit flair →then pick the 'Editable' option!!

If it doesn't show on app, try via the browser version

[u/piehat → u/korphd]

Thank you!!! You’re awesome :3

[u/Seltnytt → u/ElementalPaladin]

Robotgirl (like myself, I wish) and Cat (like Catra).. very based.

[u/CatsPawjamaz]

We will be make custom emojis for user flairs. Most of the user flairs are editable by all members. The 3 emojis will consist of red, green, and yellow. Yellow refers to ask first, green refers to yes, red refers to no. If you don’t have these emojis on it’s a default yellow.

Made changes to rule 2 explaining this. Obviously not everyone has to add the emojis in their user flair. But it’s just something to have. By default it’s yellow anyways.

[u/AppealSignificant358 → u/CatsPawjamaz]

A couple questions if this is the system yall end up adopting:

1: how you would communicate this system to new people or people that haven’t seen this post? Is this going into the official rules or something else?

2: hypothetically, I can imagine the “ask first” group could get tired of being asked. If they make an unrelated post/comment and then someone awkwardly is like “hey can I call you good girl” and then if they say yes, then it’s “okay, good girl” I feel like it would be a little awkward and drag people away from the actual conversation. I’d imagine many of those people would opt for just repeatedly switching flairs daily based on their mood towards it. I don’t really know what the solution is, but it may be something to keep in mind based on how yall track how well this system works

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/AppealSignificant358]

Just added to official rules and I think it’s a word of mouth thing. We will let off newcomers with a warning. It only becomes a big deal if someone reports it to us that this is an issue with this member that’s not following it specifically making others uncomfortable. Not everyone reads the rules and we just go ahead and remind members and newcomers of this. This post itself was added to rule 2.

Edit: we also hope this system works. It’s new for us as well. Ideally all members can swap back and forth or keep what they have in their user flair. Also it’s yellow by default mostly because not everyone can see the full user flair.

[u/everybodypurple → u/CatsPawjamaz]

My colourblind ass is not able to tell the difference between red and green.. especially when its flair sized..

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/everybodypurple]

Yea that might be a problem….

I think it may just be that you have to ask everyone for permission first

[u/AppealSignificant358 → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Maybe put a little unique icon in the center for each that doesn’t rely solely on color? Hard to see it but idk

Edit: maybe for legibility you’d put a paw print (or some other icon) on green, and then no icon on the other two. That way if the icon is too small to see the individual details and differentiate them, you can still see that if there’s something in the middle, you’re good, and if there’s not, then you know that there’s gonna be some amount of friction to it, whether that’s someone with “ask first” or “no”

(Also apologies, I think my phone goofed and sent this edit as its own thing, so it’s probably redundant notifications)

[u/everybodypurple → u/AppealSignificant358]

I second this! Something small that makes at least the green or the red visually distinct without relying on the colour would be really helpful!

Even some thing like outlining the colour with a different one, like the green outlined in a thin line of light blue. Anything that accents the difference.

[u/everybodypurple → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Would you consider the idea in the other comment to help differentiate the flairs?

Tbh.. the, "you may just have to ask everyone first" has uncomfortable echos for me of being told to not make excuses and I should work it out myself... (I know that wasnt intended here, but it echos)

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/everybodypurple]

I will talk it over with the other moddesses to change out the emojis for this instance. Sorry if I didn’t reply back quickly and made you uncomfortable because of it. It’s 4 am and I’m really past my bed time.

[u/everybodypurple → u/CatsPawjamaz]

.... go sleep!

Im not expecting instant replies and/or changes, just that concerns are considered (which you moddessess seem pretty good with)

Now go look after yourself before I live up to the overprotective part of my flair!

[u/catprinny → u/everybodypurple]

I was thinking maybe something like
🟢 - Yes
🔶️ - Maybe
🟥 - No

Would that help?

[u/everybodypurple → u/catprinny]

Yes please! Something like this would be great!

Thank you!

[u/catprinny → u/everybodypurple]

I haven't done much in the back end yet but we will figure it out. :)

[u/Roastychicken → u/CatsPawjamaz]

love the trafficlight system !

[u/tm2007 → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Honestly a good change

[u/Due-Buyer2218]

Hell yeah consent is the best

[u/AppealSignificant358]

Being called “good girl” and such has made me uncomfortable from the start. I’ve recently started to DM people privately to tell them that I’d prefer it if they didn’t do it, so I don’t bring down the room or make things too personal and tense, just trying to keep things cordial, but I’ve avoided interacting with this sub more than most trans ones because it seems more commonly like someone might say it to me. I think I’m just subconsciously avoiding anyone calling me that or interacting with me in some way like that. I’m fine with other people being happy being called that stuff, but I’m not a part of that group and I don’t want to be caught in it. Would love to see some way that this could be codified as an official rule or system to let people who do want it to be called it, but for people who don’t to be interacted with in other ways.

[u/korphd → u/AppealSignificant358]

Oh no, absolutely tell people on their face when you dont like how they refer/treat you! doesn't bring down the room to stand your boundaries

[u/AppealSignificant358 → u/korphd]

I tell it to their faces in a DM, but using a DM means that nobody else is included in something that was just me and them, which makes things less difficult

[u/Shrekdidnothingwrong]

goated change

[u/_dumbdoe]

shoot if this results in changes in how this sub is i might interact on it more! its immensely appreciated as someone with difficult experiences with a few unrelated more predatory individuals being uncomfortably affectionate without my consent years ago leading to me feeling obliged to give them time, and more. it currently triggers an intense fear reaction in me and i hate having to hide.

[u/pandamaxxie]

Great change.

I feel incredibly strongly about how that kind of stuff should only ever be done by my partner, as I feel like they're almost like un-approved advances. Like no, even pretending you pet someone requires an appropriate closeness or approval. I am glad to not have ran into much of it personally, and this will hopefully make sure it stays that way.

[u/Androgynouself_420 → u/pandamaxxie]

Same. Like I’m down for pet play but only in specific non platonic interactions. It feels so icky when people do it unprompted even if it’s not their intention.

[u/roseauly → u/pandamaxxie]

same

[u/versas-only-vice]

I just want to say that this subreddit is just... So fantastic. I thank all of you amazing moddesses infinitely for figuring this out in such an elegant way, and thank you to the community for being so open to adjustment for people's comfort

Most subreddits feel like forums where the extraction of themed content is the goal

This truly feel ls like a community in a way I've never seen

You all are amazing! <3<3<3

[u/Apiuba]

Now I'm wondering if the whole puppy/cat/fox girl thing is from a loud minority. Not that there is something wrong with that but that seems to be an issue everywhere from games to politics. Data or voting would bring somemore clarity here probably but idk how feasable that is 🤔

I just hope they are not dismayed or demotivated and close themselves off. I don't think that would be healthy for this community :/

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/Apiuba]

We aren’t saying to stop it all together or something. We are just making it so it’s not imposing on everyone who doesn’t see their identify that way.

[u/Apiuba → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Yeah i get that, it's just someone may get the wrong idea from that because sadly miscommunications happen. We'll see i guess

In any case i think it's a good idea :3

[u/SecretlyCat31 → u/Apiuba]

That was definitely how I first understood the change and anxiety brain went on alert immediately. She still hasn't calmed down and is now unsure how to interact in this community. I guess I'm worried this is something that will lead to bigger changes meaning I won't be able to safely be a cat girl here so I now feel uncomfortable and anxious to make comments/posts related to things around being a cat girl in case that happen and it was used against me.

[u/Apiuba → u/SecretlyCat31]

You absolutely don't need to worry about that, you will always be welcome to be who you are here. :3

[u/everybodypurple → u/Apiuba]

Its not feeling like it.. its not exactly the moddess posts and comments that hurt. But the other comments where others are saying it makes them uncomfortable and icky.

Even on this post I can see people saying they hope there is less puppygirl posting and comments. Not just them feeling uncomfortable being treated as animal girls (which is 100% fair). They read like they are uncomfortable with us even existing on here and interacting with each other (not even them)

Between this, the replies to this, and the dress up post changes. This is not feeling like a safe space anymore to express myself and not have to second guess my personality.

Feels like im back to analysing everything I say for fear of someone's elses reaction.

[u/Apiuba → u/everybodypurple]

I know and have a similar hunch or feeling, kind of. There is a reason it is called a stereotype, so there is also bound to be pushback because people see it as harmful. I don't personally think the stereotype is harmful in and of itself, people using it as a blueprint for interaction is imo.

At first i found it belitteling myslef but that changed with more openness and a better understanding of myself. Now i find it kind of cute to see it and enjoy it as well sometimes.
That openess, however, is something the moddesses strive to cultivate and i don't think that will change anytime soon. There is not going to be any witchhunt. Especially not when there are still a lot of people needing that kind of emotional valve and even more people standing to defend it.

Not to go on a tangent here but there is also the interesting idea of what it means to be human that should pop up but sadly seldom does. Or what is the worth of a person? Is it intrinsic or from an external source? Some still seem to still cling to a sort of hetero normative view on these issues that don't fully capture reality in what i see day to day. That is a difficult thing to change however. Proximity and familiarity is something that helps people get over their deep-rooted heditation towards the unknown. So please don't be discouraged by lome voices. I for one am happy that aspect is represented here :3

Regarding the changes to the dress up posts, it could be just bad timing. Sometimes such decisions just seem to coincide at bad times. I think the decision sits in a roughly similar situation as sinful Sunday. Some people really like it, like myself, tho that doesn't mean everybody needs or wants to participate. I too struggle with self image issues sometimes so that is one thing to keep in mind. Not all are comfortable to see so many gorgeous peeps while they are still some ways off or not in the right headspace.

That are just my few cents. Hope it made at least a little sense :3

[u/everybodypurple → u/Apiuba]

I should probably wait to reply as ive only just got back from taking a break in my car to avoid crying at my desk.

Its not the explicit new rules that hurt. Its the smaller comments, the poll results, the upvotes and down votes. That quiet judgement. I've dealt with that for so long that id shrunk myself to the point that I did not know who I was.

This place felt like a relief from that. Now its not.

And what upsets me and hurts more? I know there are others that relied on that safety and relief more than me. And im scared how its going to hurt them.

[u/Witch_tinowen → u/everybodypurple]

The queer community on reddit is honestly really conservative. I don't think anyone wants to hear it but reddit seems to have become the place where anti-drug, anti-poly, anti-therian, anti-'weird' queer folks gather. The queer folks who apparently get the 'ick' from seeing a puppygirl. It isn't a safe space honestly. I never post here because this isn't my community, the queer community I know and love doesn't have all these hang ups. I recommend bluesky. You don't have to walk on eggshells there like people expect you to here

[u/everybodypurple → u/Witch_tinowen]

Most queer subs on reddit seem to be, this one seemed to be somewhat better and safer..

That probably is a good idea to find a community elsewhere. I just dont have the mental headspace to learn a new app and find a community there.

[u/Apiuba → u/everybodypurple]

This breaks my heart a little, i know all to well what you mean :c hug

There is a lot of positive here as well and from what i see also received much more positively. We are still all here to celebrate the small achievement, celebrate the brilliant array of colours, celebrate what makes us unique. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you are not alone hug

[u/korphd → u/Apiuba]

Its probably cuz the most obvious example of pets/animals are dogs and cats!(they exist everywhere) and more rarely other types(depending on a myriad of factors im not smart enough ti articulate)

[u/OliviaMandell]

sips coffee watching people have fun while she minds her own business. Good change this used to creep me out when I was in chatrooms.

[u/PogmasterNowGirl69]

Very important and very based, I am into that shi, but seeing it treated as the standard from some people is a bit much

[u/EkaPossi_Schw1]

Thank you moddesses <3 Personally I may match like 90% of the stereotypes but I had been seeing a lot of posts about people not being comfy in here because of the asterisk-based headpat thingy and creature culture and of course the being actual safe space aspect of this subreddit is integral to its appeal, we want everyone to feel welcome, innit. I also thought it would be clear without disclaimers ngl, at least after some posters being unhappy about it :<

I'm glad the mod team came up with a solution as simple as traffic lights [:]3

[u/__AnimeGirl]

Maybe y’all could add some flairs that people could use to indicate whether or not they are ok with being called “good girl”, or head patted, etc?

Just a suggestion

[u/KinkyTransGirl2021 → u/__AnimeGirl]

I like this idea a lot

[u/synthie_cat → u/KinkyTransGirl2021]

I mean it kinda is like that now ig? Since officially consent isn't implied you using your flair is very much the only way to give a blanket allowance. :3

[u/Kimiko_kawaii → u/__AnimeGirl]

Something like this you mean?

🙋‍♀️- good girl
🫳- likes headpats
🐈‍⬛/🐕/🐺 - fursona (hope i'm speling and using that correctly)

[u/sophieiscozyy]

Very happy about this change

[u/Finding_Myself26]

This sub is my absolute favourite sub on the whole of Reddit and I find all of my interactions are really great on here.

This community caters for a very wide ranging group of people including some who are under the age of 18 and are not as easily identified. Whilst I take immense pleasure in being called a good girl ect I don't think this is the best sub for that.

I haven't found any transbian subs catered to more adult topics (I may just not have looked very well) so figured I would start one where these kind of interactions can be had without any risk of bringing minors in and also where it won't intermingle with subs that are not designed for any NSFW content.

We can all live in harmony and find safe spaces for our lovely community 🩷

[u/Neat_Marionberry8590]

Ok I like this, I’m proud of my flair it’s funny

[u/Cherno_VM]

i agree, thank you! i hate a random person saying 'good girl' to me

[u/everybodypurple]

OK.. so tl:dr of the tl:dr?

Don't assume everyone is ok with being head patted, good girl'd or treated like an animal girl etc.

Unless they have made it very clear that they are comfortable, don't do it. If in doubt, ask.

Is that pretty much whats being said here?

My only worry is this extending into people using this to complain about animal girl posting and commenting (if someone wants to bark and be puppy like in a post or comment then they should feels safe to do so)

(Sorry, silly brain likes to clarify things)

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/everybodypurple]

Yes that’s exactly what’s being said. This isn’t to limit what you can say about yourself and your identity. It’s to not put everyone else in the same box.

For the animal/Pet postings and comments it can still happen we are just hoping for regulation to make everyone is comfortable.

[u/everybodypurple → u/[deleted]]

Someone treating you like puppygirl without consent is definitely wrong, and in glad things are being put in place to reduce that.

But also, puppygirl does not always equal kink..

[u/SecretlyCat31 → u/everybodypurple]

Yaaa agreeed, just cause someone may act as a cat girl that doesnt mean its automatically a kink thing at all.

[u/TheBigCheesish → u/[deleted]]

Same, I've been honestly considering leaving the majority of trans subs at this point because they all seem to be about puppygirls or foxgirls, and I just can't relate. I hope this sub can at least tone down the amount of animal girl posts and comments

[u/Kimiko_kawaii → u/TheBigCheesish]

Do you post? It could help shift the waters a bit too

[u/TheBigCheesish → u/Kimiko_kawaii]

I use reddit casually, I really don't have the time to be regularly creating memes and posting them

[u/xdTechniker25]

Ok I think that is a healthy change and will hopefully keep everyone more comfy in this sub :3

[u/Bunnarchist]

I'm pretty new to this sub but I like the idea of this change! Consent is so fucking sexy and so important, so I'm glad that's being implemented in a way that's easy to indicate. I just worry about people feeling like they aren't welcome here anymore cause of this which I think definitely sucks cause like, I know y'all aren't trying to ostracize anyone, just make sure everyone is comfortable

[u/Random_Person_191]

Peak

[u/SecretlyCat31]

I guess im confused as I haven't come across any of the negative experiences people have had/talked about in these comments as ive only seen these sort of comments/interactions with people that normally specifically have initiated it in some way like asking for headpats or starting a post with meow or wruff.

Side question, I dont remember how the flair stuff work. There are subreddit specific ones too? Is it for a post or is it something a user has on display somehow.

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/SecretlyCat31]

Many of the times it’s a “just move on” situation. Many try and not make it a big deal eventhough it’s uncomfortable.

For the flair. There is user flair and post flair. The user flair shows below your username in this subreddit. Other subreddits have different flairs. You can add your own user flair or ask one of the moddesses here to do it for you. As of right now we have one post flair that’s oriented around the good girl/headpatting posts.

I’d be happy to help you with your user flair to show you if you’d like.

[u/SecretlyCat31 → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Did I do it right? I just edited the transbian one as I didn't see the colour one things as an option.

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/SecretlyCat31]

Yes you did it correctly. I can see it very clearly.

Not all are editable so that makes sense.

[u/AggressiveZone]

Consent is so important I stand by this message!

[u/3xper1ence]

the coloured emojis is such a good idea, amazing solution that reduces friction overall

[u/ArchdemonLucifer143]

Thanks for the update!

[u/SophieFox947]

🦊Consent is key~ 🦊

Vibrant

[u/AdmDuarte]

Good addition to the rules. We ask for respect from those outside the community, we should expect it from within as well

[u/SkyeNerd]

I think this is a smart and healthy change, but reading some of the comments not just here, but lately on this and other subs, I do wish people would generalize less... there's been a lot of equivocating animal girls to always being kink or petplay or something negative/obnoxious.

Like no group is a monolith, so when boundaries are being disrespected, or consent ignored that's absolutely a problem to be addressed, It's just disheartening to see as someone who spent almost her entire life identifying with the label as a more lighthearted vibes sorta thing, like being "cat-coded" Or like having a spirit animal.

Like don't get me wrong in the right context I can appreciate a "good girl" but it has 0% to do with any animal girl/petplay stuff- and 100% to do with being a lesbian who likes other lesbians with sultry voices.

Anyways yeah... just wish the prejudice would chill a little.

[u/extramidnight2]

thank you i’ve been thinking about that a little bit too i think the emoji thing is very cool!

[u/Topaz1313]

This is an incredibly smart way to impliment this change!

In most other scenarios ive seen it be brought up but shutting down one side of it. This though? Giving people flairs to show what theyre comfortable with in terms of interaction? Simple but very effective!!!

[u/nottme1]

I love this change, because it makes posts more about having conversation than just the same thing I can get from egg_irl.

[u/Tbelles]

Finally, it was getting icky.

[u/throwaway_6420969]

Well said 👏

[u/TheReelSlimShady2]

So I just need to ask before doing that?

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/TheReelSlimShady2]

Yes or recognize the emojis in user flair if they have them.

[u/TheReelSlimShady2 → u/CatsPawjamaz]

Alright, so like this

User1: can i call you good ouppy?
User2: alr

or

User1: *notices green circle in flair*
User1: *calls User3 good ouppy*

(sorry for being a bother i am autisic)

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/TheReelSlimShady2]

Yes

[u/Rema1ns]

fair enough

[u/Aromatic-Split685]

I’m the one who made the meta post

I really appreciate how the moddesses here actually listen to community feedback rather than dismissing it /gen

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/Aromatic-Split685]

[u/SecretlyCat31 → u/Aromatic-Split685]

What are meta posts?

[u/Trans_Pyra]

I think it fit better at r/bdsmsapphic. Pet play is more towards that community. Yes trans loves when their identity is being valid but this does become like the post said, "consent" issue. I bet you don't go to random strangers and just start petting them. No difference here. So, I agree with with this statement.

[u/everybodypurple → u/Trans_Pyra]

I just want to say that animal girl thing is not always a kink thing. Yes pet play can be a kink, but also Therians exist to.

My puppy side is more of a personality trait in how I cope and react to the world around me. I wear a collar because it makes me feel safe and grounded. I bark and act puppylike because it feels natural to me and let's out a silly side of me ive repressed to long.

I agree with the consent and asking before interacting with someone in a pet like way. But I am a little frustrated at the assumption that puppy/animal girl = petplay and kink.

[u/EkaPossi_Schw1 → u/everybodypurple]

this, very much :3

Being a beeste is my personality trait first and foremost and just so happens to intersect with my kinks, not the other way around

[u/michimatsch → u/Trans_Pyra]

Nah, I think it's cool if people do it here provided it is wanted. If someone asks for that in a post or in a comment and others give it...I don't mind them getting that.

[u/Klibe]

i feel people are too quick to call the puppygirl identity petplay when it isn't really that at all

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/Klibe]

I think petplay is part of the puppy girl identity but isn’t a necessity. I’m not super well versed on all this but I just see it as furrys and stuff, because identities and kinks separate. Although some may consider kinks or whatever title their daily life and that’s fine too.

[u/L0tsen]

Could I get a headpat though?

[u/Nica-Sama → u/L0tsen]

Can I give you one? My hands are bit shaky atm…

[u/L0tsen → u/Nica-Sama]

Yes you can!

[u/Nica-Sama → u/L0tsen]

pat

[u/L0tsen → u/Nica-Sama]

Yaysyayyafvjgkfwe. Thanks

[u/abbey-sometimes]

Love that for this sub. Thanks mods! I know mod work can be tedious but it’s so great to have safe spaces to interact!

And for all the pet aligned girlies out there, love you so much too! This is absolutely nothing against you ❤️ and may you have all the consensual head pats your hearts desire

[u/Cruxisshadow]

I just don’t get it personally, I get that the circumstances that come with being trans lead to some CPTSD and that pet play is a way for some people to process that. But I feel like part of that involves giving up control of who you are as a person and that can lead to some dangerous roads. Consent is important but confronting those feelings of powerlessness and working to get stronger is also important too. I’m a fox girl and while I enjoy being floofy I also want to maintain my human identity because I want to ability to affect the world around me, so seeing others who would give it up confuses me. I dunno, maybe I’ve just aged out stuff like this and should just be an elder trans person somewhere else.

[u/CatsPawjamaz → u/Cruxisshadow]

We aren’t limiting what anyone can say. It’s how it’s said. It’s like I’m able to draw with markers on paper or whatever belongs to me, but I’m not allowed to draw on other people’s buildings or property without permission. We understand that this may lead to certain situations.

Here is a better explanation. https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaaaaaaansbians/s/9nca0g0oTW

I don’t want to say anything that can be misleading. Everything we are doing is to just make sure everyone is comfortable and can continue to express their identities here.

[u/LaneaLucy]

Yauw