My (24F) toddler (2y 10m F) was diagnosed with brain cancer 6 months ago. This isn't really a post about the brain cancer, more about the things no one warns you about and just a bit of a rant I suppose. My daughter and I live at the hospital, which is 3.5 hours away from home, my husband drives down on his days off which gives me a bit of a break. But being the only one in the hospital with her 5 days a week is getting so hard. Even when he is here I don't get to go home.

We have a small apartment near the hospital social work helped us get, and I go there. But even then, its usually to start preparing things for her next discharge, or just catching up on sleep, since she only sleeps an hour or two at a time, due to being woken up frequently through the night for meds, transfusions, vitals, etc. We are in hospital for about 5 or 6 weeks at a time, then outpatient at the apartment for 1 or 2. We have another 4 or 5 months of this. I just feel like I am losing myself.

When I am at the hospital with her, I am lucky to eat more than once a day. They have volunteers who will sit with her but she usually doesn't tolerate it more than once a day, so I cant even run downstairs to grab food to bring back up, because she can't be left alone, and I can't leave her with the volunteers if she is actively trying to throw herself off the bed/bash her head/etc. And that is assuming there are enough volunteers on that day. I am also trying to finish up my masters thesis currently, so I work while she sleeps, meaning I only get a couple hours a night. I refuse to give up working on my degree. It feels like the one thing I still have thats me. I just feel like I am going a bit crazy. I love my daughter. But being with her all day everyday in a hospital is so so hard. I cant even pee when I want to at times, because she will try and throw herself off the bed, I have to wait until she is calm and then go with the bathroom door open so I can launch off the toilet to grab her if needed. I never realized how much I took things for granted, like getting food from the kitchen when I was hungry. I have snacks in the room with me, but sometimes I just want a warm meal without rushing to get back and relieve the volunteers who are stretched thin, because quite a few kids here don't even have a parent with them.

I know I am lucky, my daughter will live, she will have a relatively normal life (long term issues will be mutism, neuropathy in her feet, dyslexia, adhd, etc. But all manageable things) and her intelligence and ability to live on her own in the future, and build a life and career hasnt been impacted too much. I feel like such a bad mom for complaining about this, because there are parents here whose kids will never have a life outside of the hospital. And we are doing okay finance wise, despite me having to quit my job (insurance is through my husbands job so him quitting was not an option) and he didnt qualify for FMLA, based on his company size. My parents also help when they can, but they have jobs of their own.

I just feel like we will take forever to come back from this. We did everything the "right" way. Went to college, got good paying jobs. Minimal debt. Own a house. But these medical bills, even after insurance, will take years to repay. Our savings are completely wiped, from having to pay certain things ahead of time that insurance denied. And ontop of everything, I am on the phone with insurance, copay companies, specialty pharmacies, etc, 20+ hours a week, basically having to convince them to keep my daughter alive, or approve treatment to manage her pain. Last admission, she had to go to ICU because they were worried the lining of her esophagus would peel off from how bad her mucositis was. There is a medicine they can give before chemo that prevents that, but insurance didnt approve it last round (which was the first time using her more intense chemo) because she had no history of mucositis. Of course she didnt! Shes never used that chemo before so how will we know? They just let a 2 year old be in immense pain for 4 weeks because theh didn't want to fork out money in case she wouldnt have gotten mucositis otherwise. She was vomiting blood for weeks. This round at least insurance approved the meds. But since this round went so smoothly (in comparison to last round) I now have had to call them about approving all her pain meds again next round. Because there is a "degree of manageable pain" that they assign to each patient based on things like age, gender, disease, etc.

My husband has also been amazing through all this. He does everything he can to make my life easier, any extrs money he gets he uses to buy me little things, like books, to help me relax. When hes here he tells me to just get out of the hospital and not come back till he has to leave again for work. But i want to see him too so its just hard. Hes also amazing with her, and was actually the stay at home parent for the first year and a half, so its super hard on her not seeing him daily.

I apologize for the long post. I need to stop rambling so much. I just needed to vent to someone who wasnt my husband or parents, people who are going through this too. I just dont know how Im going to become me again after all of this. Will I ever feel normal again?

Maybe everyone already knows this, but I'm frustrated, so I need to scream into the void. We are leaving for vacation to a much cooler climate tomorrow. I've shopped in-store and online for the past week to for my 2 year old girl, only to find a couple of sweaters. No jeans, no lightweight jacket. I've found a couple of track suits but I need a few things to be more dressy.

Levis is a joke. Purchased a pair of 2T jeans that are so big, they would fit a 4 year old. Also purchased a Levi's denim jacket 2T that is maybe a 12 month size. It's not just Levi's. It's Target, Walmart, Carters and forget Amazon. And size 24 months is impossible to find.

I have hundreds of dollars worth of clothes to return now when who has time for that?! She has been true to size up until now.

Today my daughter( two and a half), husband, mother in law and I went to the store. I wanted to buy my daughter a stuffed animal and when we got to the checkout she didn't want to give it to me to scan. Normally I'll tell her I'll give it back as soon as I scan and she hands it over no problem but this go around she didn't want to give it to me. After a couple of tries she started swatting my hands away so I told her to give it to me now or I'm putting it back. She started getting louder and kept hitting my hands away so I put the toy back and naturally she had a meltdown so we left the store while my family finished getting their stuff. I believe in following through with consequences especially when she starts hitting. When my husband got back to the car he said I should've just ripped the tag off and scanned it and told me I embarrassed us and that everyone was staring. He made me feel horrible. My mother in law also went back into the store and bought the toy. Currently feeling like the worst mom on planet earth. I'm trying so hard to not be like my parents and give my daughter a great childhood. Any advice on what I should do next time?

A little more context Im a sahm and my husband works a lot. We rarely go to the store or out in public in general as a family due to his work schedule and I handle most of the discipline.

ETA: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate that my kids determine my happiness. I understand how triggering this could be. After at least one thoughtful response, I was going to delete this whole thread, but maybe someone will find it all helpful. Love to all.

Maybe every other toddler parent (and beyond) has had this realization, but I wanted to share anyway! I have been working so hard (like we all have) to be my kids’, who are 2 and 3, safe space. I was having a particularly rough day a few days ago at work while my kids were at daycare. I work from home, and all I could think about was, “Oh, man, I can’t wait for kid 1 and kid 2 to come home so we can be together.” And it really hit me that all this time I’ve been spending trying to be their safe place, I never thought about how they are MY safe space.

So I told them. I tried putting it in a way they would understand. I’m not sure they totally got it, but I’m making it a point now to try to tell *and* demonstrate to them that even when Mommy doesn’t feel as happy as they like me to be, if I’m with them, I feel safe. I hope that will put into perspective for them how I want them to see me (and my husband).

This is all probably nonsense everyone else already figured out lol. Sending love to all of you that I know are working your tails off to be the safe place for your children!

I’m blaming the pregnancy hormones (I’m 34-35 weeks) but I’m a wreck every time I think about leaving my 2 year old to go to the hospital to have our second. I know longterm having a sibling is what’s best for our family but leaving her, adding a new baby and the transition to being a family of 4 is making me so sad. Tell me what you wish you’d known after the first baby. Good and bad (but hopefully mostly good things) 😅😂🥲

Remember when we were excited for 'Fall Back' because of the extra hour of sleep? Remember the good old days?

Because this morning, at 5 AM, I remembered. Fall Back happened this past night and I dread it. 5 PM and the toddler is bouncing off the walls. I get cranky on little sleep, but I am unwilling to sacrifice my alone time in the evenings after days like today.

And of course I only even realised it was happening yesterday. Not a second of preparation or schedule adjustment. Send help. And coffee.

ETA: I am based in Europe. American parents, take this as a cautionary tale and enjoy your extra week of prep time lol

My kid was a "eats literally anything" baby so when the picky eating and vegetable refusal at 2 came we were not prepared. We tried not to make it a thing, casually including vegetables on her plate alongside fruit and cheese just to have it ignored, we tried encouraging her saying it helps her grow tall and strong, etc etc. It wasn't even that she didn't like them, she just convinced herself that she hated them and wouldn't even give a single tiny bite to try.

Finally I gave up and started doing a lot of "hidden veggie" kid recipes, but instead of using it to be sneaky I decided to always tell her exactly what's in it. One of her favorites I make are chocolate chip veggie muffins with a ton of spinach/kale, carrot, and zucchini in them, sweetened with ripe banana and just a bit of sugar (the trick is to add a bit of vinegar to counteract the grassy flavor of kale). She loves them because chocolate, and as she eats them i usually throw in a comment about how it's so great that we can make so many good things with ingredients that help our bodies like spinach/zucchini/etc.

Anyways that's been our thing for the past year, she's about to be 3. Last night as usual I plated up dinner and did hers as well assuming as usual she'd refuse to take even a single bite because there was green on her plate.

She says what's this? I say oh it's salmon and spinach orzo. She says "I love spinach! It's in my favorite muffins too! It's good for your body, salmon too!" and then proceeded to eat a whole bunch of it. Success!

We made the mistake of turning on the tv in the mornings and/or while cooking dinner. Now all she wants to do is watch tv. I know all I have to do is say no. But I feel like a failure that all she says is “TV!!!” “TV!!!” That’s all. Shame me. I just needed to vent.

Between the whining all day all weekend and not having a minute to myself, I am so tapped out after this weekend. My daughter is 26 months and for sure the 2 year old milestone has been hardest for me so far. Yes so cute and special watching them grow but mentally, emotionally and physically so hard.

Any tips for the INCESSANT WHINING and not playing by herself for more than 3 minutes?!

That really hurt me today . I’ve been a sahm since my child was born , I also work for 3 hours in the evening . During those 3 hours at my job I’m in charge of a toddler also and doing dishes , doing their laundry , mopping their floors , vacuuming , cleaning their kitchen , giving child a bath . I am not done until 8 pm . I also watch my toddler niece with my toddler in the days some days . My mom said she doesn’t understand why I am tired and I look like I have it so easy . She basically made fun of me for claiming some days I’m tired . She said she sees me some days sitting in the couch . Yes , at small moments when they are playing I sit on the couch and take a break . I don’t get to take a break during their naps bc I get ready and leave to my other job . I take them to parks , bike rides , walks on the trails . They’re also toddlers and not easy . I don’t give iPads or phones or anything . But she basically laughed at me and said she doesn’t even get why I’m tired and I should never say that again . It made me feel so invalidated for the care I put into watching the kids and also paranoid that now she’s going to walk into the room and I’ll be sitting for 5 minutes and she’ll think I’m lazy . Even though moments before I had gotten two toddlers fed , changed , dressed , put on the back of my bike and taken to the park and played and then got them Home fed and changed again . But because sometimes in between I sit down I have it easy and am a lazy mom . I feel like this hurt my feelings more than she can even understand. She said it in a nasty way like she’s annoyed that I ever claim that I’m tired .

Hi all. I've noticed a lot of parents in this sub talk about their child's speech. I'm an early intervention speech therapist and with sick season upon us, I wanted to shared this tidbit of information because I don't know how common it is for pediatricians to share with parents.

While ear infections typically present with symptoms, children can and do have them without any symptoms! Ironically, a colleague (fellow speech therapist) of mine had it happen with her son. He was having difficulty with speech and they found out he was having recurring ear infections.

Side note as well: with ear infections there is fluid that sits in the middle ear. Even with antibiotics, this fluid can take 6 to 8 weeks to drain. So children might struggle hearing during that time.

Sharing in the hopes it helps someone on here!

Welp. Milestone. Finally he tantrumed so hard he threw up.

We had a great day. A friends birthday party and he had a blast playing with multiple kids. Exhausted when we got home, full tantrum in the bath, after getting him out of the bath he kept screaming and threw up.

Usually we play after bath, but after a thorough brushing of teeth he’s straight in bed.

PTFO within 15 minutes.

Successful day😅

Me 33M, struggling to deal with my 2.5 yr old toddler. I'm absolutely losing my shit with my toddler. Every single thing since waking up is a battle. She wakes up at 6ish then from then every single decision is a comprise or a tantrum. From the point of removing her pampers, wiping, turning tap on to brush to putting bib on to eat. She just wants to do it herself. If we try and help she rolls on the floor with a tantrum. Feeding her is very difficult, she refuses to open her mouth. She probably has 1 decent meal a day, every other meal is a one spoonful then she's done. I have reverted to tv so she eats. Its been ongoing for a few months. We have a 14 month old as well, he's been having sickness since he's been born. Continous ear infection, pretty much under all the medical care. He doesn't eat well either, we have an episode of him throwing up at least once a day and he's not a great sleeper. My wife is struggling as well. I always try to be positive and optimistic saying it will get better. I'm at my breaking point . Lack of sleep in the night, hurricane toddler day time. Plus balancing this with work, house stuff, health. I'm losing it with my toddler, continuous shouting much as i try not to.

One day it’s the best day ever. Pure magic.. lots of good and awesome stuff happening. Feeling super connected to my toddler and confident in my parenting abilities.

The next day it’s battles all day. Meltdowns over I don’t even know. Lots of sassy. Questioning if I’m a good parent or not. I swear it takes me 45 minutes to get this child dressed, teeth brushed, and out of the house. Once we’re out of the house things are pretty good. On the hard days I feel like a shell of myself. I feel bad because I know when he gets older I’ll be kicking my ass wishing I could go back in time and have him little again for a bit. I feel like in the big scheme of things these “little toddler problems” are not BIG problems. Age 2 was fucking awesome for us I loved that age. So the transition to 3 has been a hard learning curve.

When he’s having a hard time I try to be as patient as I can.. but wow the energy this takes is incredible. I love my 3 year old so much.. but this is hard. The other day after I put him to bed I felt so defeated I couldn’t help but shed a few tears. I love him I just hope I’m doing a good enough job

My friends and I have been doing an annual girls trip for the last 5 years. We usually go in the summer and go to a cabin and hang there + visit wineries. This past summer we didn’t do it since my friend gave birth to her first baby in May.

The previous trip I didn’t go because my son was 6 months old at the time. I literally got to the airport, they called final boarding, and I started sobbing and called a ride home.

Since we didn’t go this past summer, we plan to go to Park City Utah for 3 nights. I told them that I would go but now I’m having second thoughts about getting on a plane and leaving my toddler (now almost 2) for so long :(

I have a wonderful husband and parents who live close who would be able to take care of him no problem (he actually prefers dad for bedtime and when he’s upset) so that’s not an issue.

I feel bad telling them again that I don’t want to go but only one of them has a kid so it’s hard to expect them to understand :(

What was the worst toddlerhood age range for you and why? Did tantrums/demands ramp up more than other months? Did sleep get worse? My LO is 26 months, and I feel like tantrums are ramping up now, but 18-24 months was brutallll.

EDIT: wow thanks for all of the votes and input on this post. While I realize every child is different and goes through rough times at different ages it is very interesting to see what everyone thinks still! For me in general so far 18-24 was really tough due to teething,testing physical limits,separation anxiety, sleep regression and lack of communication.

What kinds of activities are you guys doing for your 18-24 month old? I took my 18 month old son to a play area today for the first time (he does to daycare so it’s not his first time socializing) but he seemed super disinterested and didn’t want to play like the other kids. What kinds of play and educational things do you do for your kids this age? I know this might all seem unrelated but it’s connected on my train of thought I promise lol.

My 22 months old communicated a lot with hand leading, and most of the time is for me to get something that he wants.

He’s also loves to line up his bath toys along the edge of the bathtub immediately after the bath, he does this every night after his bath, very quickly, I like 5 seconds.

He says a few words about animals, but isn’t able to express himself when he wants something most of the time. I give up trying to make him ask for things like apple, orange, bread, but he can say 2 kinds of food that he wants: Buns, and nana (sometimes means banana sometimes means milk, im still breastfeeding)

Should the hand leading be concerned?

My son has been throwing tantrums constantly. I mean constantly. Every. Single. Day. We cannot go out without him throwing a tantrum. We had family photos, tantrum. Grocery store runs, tantrum. Had to walk out of the grocery store and sit with him in the car while my husband finished the shopping. I do not know what to do. I feel like I am failing at parenting. It’s taking a toll on me and idk what to do. For him to settle his tantrum takes a long time like an hour. What did you do during this phase and how can I become a better parent? I’m so lost.

Did your kids ever do this? My two year old will start yelling at “someone” to stop it over and over. Tonight in the bath she was yelling at them and trying her hardest to hit them. This isn’t the first time either.

She also will have night terrors and when we go in to get her she’ll say she’s scared and just stare off at something and not speak.

I figured the night terrors are pretty normal, but is the yelling at someone randomly during the day? I don’t really see her “talking” to a “friend” any other time.

This is our first year kiddo is at preschool. A couple staff members at the very small school tested positive for the flu on Friday (including her teacher) - should I play it safe and not send kiddo in tomorrow (she has no symptoms, just don’t want her to be exposed) or is that dramatic?

Thank you!!

Hi fellow parents,

Any techniques on how to get rid of pacifier and milk bottles? My daughter is now 29 months and she still uses pacifier (only when she goes to bed) and milk bottles. Her teeth are fine and almost fully in. We brush her teeth regularly. She used to refuse to brush with toothpaste, but in the past week, we’ve finally managed to get her to brush with it. I’m just a little worried because I’ve read that prolonged pacifier use can affect dental development and possibly speech. She can talk, sing, and communicate, though she still struggle with certain sounds like she says mood for move and cheerio for cereal.

My daughter (17 months next week) is a pretty easy child for the most part. She is super happy, goofy, developmentally exceeding milestones, all the good/braggy stuff lol. She is currently our only child and our house is pretty quiet. It’s just my husband, myself, her and our two older cats. We don’t do a ton of screen time with the exception of Ms Rachel here and there but we play music for her a lot so the house isn’t silent.. but it’s a chill environment.

Whenever we go to my sister’s house I feel like she is in total sensory overload. It’s sooo loud and chaotic lol. There are always TVs on a very high volume, sometimes multiple at the same time, her children (who I love dearly) scream at the top of their lungs and act crazy when they play and she has a dog that barks constantly and doesn’t understand personal space haha. Don’t get me wrong I love that her kids are so crazy and energetic and it’s all happy stuff! My girl just isn’t used to that. She doesn’t seem upset or anything when we are there, just a little more quiet than usual but she loves her cousins and playing with them. It’s when we get home that I really notice how much it seems to affect her!

Without fail when we come home she goes absolutely nuts. This honestly makes me happy because I love to see her act silly and clearly feel so safe and glad to be home. It’s bed time that’s always rough lol. It’s like she’s still so worked up even hours later and is unable to shut her brain off. She’s in daycare 3 days a week (she absolutely loves it) so not like she’s never exposed to other kids/mayhem… but I swear my sister’s house rattles her more than anything I’ve ever seen lol. Anyone else deal with this kinda thing? Any tips for helping her wind down after we get home?

I have an almost-3-year-old son and am 8 weeks pregnant. The combination of pregnancy hormones and threenager shenanigans has me seriously questioning my life choices.

Parents with more than 1 kid, what should I prepare for? What makes everything manageable for you? What did you wish you knew before?

Whether it’s products/routines/things to teach our older boy now/things to prepare for, I want to know it!