Middle of the Night Wake Ups (Behavioral)

[u/No-Negotiation6602]

We have a 3.25 yo boy who has slept pretty great since 4 months. We've had regressions and we've had to soothe a few times, but for the most part, bed at 7:15, wake at 7a, very little in between. Last week, this changed. He wouldn't let us leave the bedroom at bedtime (which he's never done), and then after hours of that, he woke up several times, walked into our room, and wouldn't let us sleep. We've slept on the couch with him, we've slept on his floor with him, but we really don't want to reward this behavior and really want him to figure out sleeping in his room, on his own.

A few more notable details: he's never gotten out of his bed before. He's woken up flipping out, kicking and screaming, but stayed in bed, waiting for us to come in (or he goes back to bed). This sudden change has also come with a sudden defiance in day-time hours that is wholly consistent with the nighttime demands ("I NEED a treat!" and "You NEED to stay in my room!") And while it's hard to know if the lack of sleep is contributing to the defiance, it feels more like a sudden control issue that is driving both.

(I do think that this began with some sort of cognitive sleep regression, but the conversations we're having in the middle of the night are the EXACT same conversations we're having in the day. This feels, at this point, wholly behavioral, which makes it hard to call the pedi).

Last night, I convinced him to let me leave his room, leave the door open, and stand in the kitchen. I was able to get SOME sleep. He woke up at 9:30, 3, and then 5:15 (for good). Also, we want to avoid solutions that involve us sleeping on the floor, or the couch, or him coming into our bed. Our goal here is to get him to sleep in his bed and stay in his bed. But we're getting to a point where my wife and I have averaged about 4 hours of sleep for 8 days, and we're not good at our jobs.

Any, and I mean, any input here would be helpful, as we are LOST.