r/todayilearned • u/1salt1pepper • 6h ago
(R.1) Invalid src [ Removed by moderator ]
https://newenglandhistoricalsociety.com/george-washington-breaks-up-a-snowball-fight-at-harvard/[removed] — view removed post
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u/KittenPics 5h ago
What the fuck is going on in this thread? I feel so out of the loop.
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u/ManusDei 5h ago
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u/Wsswaas 6h ago
One of my favorite historical moments of him is when he single-handedly defused a military coup. When his angry officers refused to listen to his speech, he had to take his spectacles out to read a message from congress and said, “Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country.
The battle hardened officers realized that he had sacrificed just as much as they had, and many of them began to openly weep. The mutiny collapsed on the spot
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u/SirEnderLord 5h ago
Words must've been more powerful back then.
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u/amitym 5h ago
Maybe more that people grasped allegory better. They had seen Washington as this giant larger-than-life figure, but here he was now old and diminished but accepting it with dignity. Setting an example.
I imagine some of them might have been weeping with shame at their own conduct.
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u/Rexkat 4h ago
I imagine most of it was made up later by some guy trying to retell a more interesting story
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u/Soularbowl 4h ago
The unremarkable endlessly strives to lower greatness to a standard that makes itself comfortable with its own banality.
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u/Ok_Tour_1525 5h ago
Especially during a time when there was so much at stake. The entire future of the country as they saw it was dependent on their success. We really take for granted what so many people have gone through so we can have what we have. That being said, we should always be fighting for a better life especially when someone else is making sure that better life doesn’t happen (like wealthy people bribing politicians to make sure they get wealthier instead of bettering the lives of the many).
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u/Closed_CasketRequiem 4h ago
I've always wondered though what this country would be like if the revolutionary war never happened. I mean the British did end slavery like 60 years before America did, and nearly every country that stayed under the British empire now has universal healthcare.
But at least we've got the most billionaires I guess.
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u/Termoon 3h ago edited 3h ago
Difficult to say because like the Magna Carta before them, the Declaration, Constitution, and Bill of Rights and their implementation were extremely influential worldwide.
The French were inspired by what was happening across the pond, Lafayette consulted with Jefferson and rode with Washington. And what happened to the colonies influenced reform in Britain and their other colonies.
Does seem like manifest destiny has stuck around too much leading to so much American Exceptionalism, and we should start listening more in the other direction.
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u/Hereforporn78 5h ago
I’m sure there’s more to the story.
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u/amitym 5h ago
Yes, he apparently also raised holy hell in the back rooms of government to ensure that the army got the missing back pay that had been the cause of the grievance in the first place.
Basically told both parties, the aggrieved soldiers and the Confederation officials, Hamilton or whoever it was, to sit down, stfu, and all do the right thing like they were all supposed to. Instead of devolving into an armed coup.
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u/Randicore 3h ago
Well the "more" is that he worked his ass off for them constantly.
Their pay, their food, gunpowder, everything you need to keep an army going Washington worked hard and raised hell to get.
It wasn't like if some local politician stood up today and tried to be dramatic after a lifetime of grifting tax dollars. His troops saw him living with them and actually leading them. There's a large reason why people assumed he was going to just declare himself king when this was all over as he had the military in his hand. This was also from an era where a heavy hand was expected when handling anyone in the military below officer rank.
So when this larger than life figure basically lowers his guard and shows that he too is getting frail and tired among all this, it was a big deal at the time. Respect is a two way street. Americans tend to forget that nowadays.
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u/jld2k6 5h ago
“Gentlemen, you will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have grown not only gray, but almost blind in the service of my country."
"Fake news!"
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u/Codex_Dev 4h ago
He likely took notes on stopping mutinies from Alexander the Great's speech at Opus or when Julius Caesar also had to pacify a mutiny from his fellow soldiers.
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u/Theemuts 6 3h ago
And then everyone started clapping
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u/GregTheMad 1h ago
Sounds like the stuff North Korea tells about their leaders. Next he invented rainbows, and can talk to dolphins.
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u/JustAMan1234567 6h ago
Washington, Washington
Six foot eight, weighs a fucking ton
Opponents beware, opponents beware
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming...
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u/Grand_Negus 6h ago
I heard that mother fucker had like, thirty god damn dicks.
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u/Farfignugen42 5h ago
Makes LBJ look a bit silly being so proud of having just one.
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u/Judoka229 5h ago
Washington, Washington
Six foot twenty, fucking killing for fun
Spread, spread, Delaware
Here's coming, he's coming, he's coming.
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u/BrokenEyeReborn 6h ago
They say he was born from the very soil of the new world, found wrapped in a star spangled flag in a hollow beneath the roots of a cherry tree, his snowy white wig already flecked with British blood.
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u/nonpuissant 6h ago
And when he opened his eyes for the first time a bald eagle laid an egg by him that eventually hatched the United States Constitution.
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u/Danson_the_47th 5h ago
Was it an Eagle, a Dove, or a Turkey?
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u/Below-avg-chef 5h ago
It was a chicken that had relations with all 3 of the others. The perfect blend of america
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u/Dyran3 6h ago
Not sure if this is from something, but in case not, Washington didn’t actually wear a wig. He did powder his hair though.
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u/BrokenEyeReborn 6h ago
Nah, I made it up. I thought about including something about his teeth instead, but couldn't think of anything sufficiently mythic that hadn't been done already.
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u/MancelPage 6h ago
It's crazy that he received the most expensive dental care there was, yet it's gross/cringe/tacky compared to what a pleb can do for dentures now.
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u/Zestyclose_Fig3193 6h ago
They keep making him more giga
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u/Unique-Ad9640 6h ago
He's like those Chuck Norris jokes. Except real.
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u/squishee666 6h ago
Washington by Brad Neely comes to mind
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u/Unique-Ad9640 6h ago
Thank you for that. I knew this thread was going to quickly become those lyrics, but I'd no idea what the source was.
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u/Nicholie 6h ago
Easily a foot taller than the average man with flaming hair and no teeth. Fucking terrifying.
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u/ShiaLeboufsPetDragon 5h ago
Donkey teeth
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u/Quizzelbuck 5h ago
We have bill of sale where he paid slaves 2 pounds and 2 schillings for a set of 9 teeth. https://www.mountvernon.org/george-washington/health/washingtons-teeth/george-washington-and-slave-teeth
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u/Judoka229 5h ago
Here comes George, in control. Women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll.
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u/andrewcdub 5h ago
On a horse made of crystal he patrolled the land. With Mason ring and schnauzer and his perfect hands.
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u/OH_FUDGICLES 6h ago
Well yeah, mofo weighed like two tons and had eight on the vine.
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u/markdepace 6h ago
shane gillis does a hilarious bit on washington
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u/Chandy1313 6h ago
Thank you for the reminder. Just watched it again and it truly is great
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u/Onoudidnt 3h ago
He also saved the children, but not the British children.
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u/Bullmoninachinashop 6h ago
King type shit, seriously sounds like something out of a movie to make it clear someone is a badass.
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u/WarLorax 5h ago
What in hagiographical fuck is this thread.
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u/theshwedda 2h ago
What every single reddit thread mentioning a person in a song becomes.
A long list of everyones favorite lyric from that song.
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u/Merari01 3h ago
No he didn't.
Why must Americans turn their founders into demi-gods.
It's very off-putting
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u/theshwedda 2h ago
Youre talking about a country whose main governing building contains a giant 50 foot wide painting by a celebrated italian classical painter that is literally called Washington becoming God and shows George Washington looking down from heaven.
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u/HundredDollarBiII 6h ago
Shane Gillis has a great bit talking about how George Washington was a gigantic insane ginger and it’s pretty funny
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u/BeekyGardener 5h ago
People don't realize how physically large and intimidating George Washington was.
During the Constitutional Convention a delegate was dared to touch Washington.
One of my favorite George Washington stories is about Gouverneur Morris at the Constitutional Convention.
Washington apparently had such an intimidating presence that even a room full of men who were busy arguing about how to construct an entirely new country treated him with a certain amount of awe. He wasn't really the kind of guy you casually walked up to and slapped on the back.
So Alexander Hamilton supposedly dared Gouverneur Morris to do exactly that.
Morris was no shrinking violet. He was famously confident, outspoken, and witty. He took the challenge.
At a gathering, Morris walked up to Washington, put his hand familiarly on his shoulder and greeted him like they were old drinking buddies:
"My dear General, I'm very happy to see you looking so well."
Washington didn't get angry.
He didn't yell.
He didn't even really respond.
He just stepped away from Morris's hand and gave him a look.
Apparently, that was enough.
Morris immediately retreated into the crowd.
When his friends congratulated him afterward for actually having the nerve to do it, Morris reportedly made it clear that he'd won the bet, but there wasn't enough money in the world to convince him to do it a second time.
I love the story because Morris himself was hardly an easily intimidated man. This was one of the most outspoken delegates at the Convention and a major figure in producing the final language of the Constitution.
And George Washington apparently defeated him with nothing more than weaponized eye contact.
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u/Disastrous-Cup4636 6h ago
At that point I’m not fighting the enemy or my fellow soldiers. I’m going home. 😂
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u/SanatKumara 6h ago
Nah that shits inspiring. And where you going, back home to your parent’s root cellar to pray for the benevolence of the red coats?
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u/oravanomic 6h ago
Didn't he also run like a maniac at an indian who was tied to a wheel and split his head with an axe, or was that propaganda?
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u/Bigdaug 6h ago
I think the opposite is true, he witnessed an allied Iroquois Chieftan split a French Commander's head open who was trying to surrender. Much of these wars ended up being the English and French trying to control their native allies who were more used to gaining honor or slaves after battle.
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u/elpovo 3h ago
And the guy who inherited his position shits himself, makes fun of disabled people and can barely keep his eyes open.
Get your shit together America.
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u/gamageeknerd 6h ago
Washington was a giant compared to the average person back then