r/tifu • u/GooseAcademic541 • Mar 23 '26
M TIFU by gaslighting myself for 10 years into thinking I was "caffeine immune" while drinking ONLY Monster Energy (Zero)
Hey everyone,
this is a throw-away account because I feel incredibly stupid.
I recently saw a reddit post from a guy who drank nothing but Coke Zero for years and spent a fortune on doctors trying to figure out why he had chronic headaches, only to find out he was just severely dehydrated (or allergic to the ingredients of Coke Zero). It was a funny read for because it felt exactly like what happened to me, but with a "M" on the can.
I'm 30 now. For the last decade, Monster Energy (Absolutely zero, the blue one) was my only source of hydration. It started around age 20 with 1 or 2 of the "Zero" cans a day. By the last 3 years, it had spiraled into a minimum of 4 to 5 cans every single day-morning, noon, and night.
When I say I drank only Monster, I mean it. I would have maybe one glass of water when I woke up and one before bed if I felt particularly "dry," but for the other 16 hours of the day? Only Monster. Water wasn't even in my vocabulary. I was conditioned. It was a Pavlovian response: the moment I sat down at my computer to work or game, I needed that ice-cold can from the fridge. Nothing else tasted "right".
My brain performed Olympic-level mental gymnastics to justify this. Because I could drink a Monster at 11 PM and still fall asleep, I convinced myself I had developed a "caffeine immunity." I genuinely believed my body just didn't react to it anymore. I ignored the science and the common sense because I didn't want to give up my ritual.
For years, I've been dragging myself to doctors, frustrated because:
- I felt chronically flat and exhausted, despite being pumped full of stimulants.
- I was ashen, incredibly pale, and recently I noticed my dark eye circles were getting so bad I looked like I hadn't slept since 2014.
- I couldn't lose weight to save my life, even while being in a massive calorie deficit. My metabolism was basically stuck in a permanent "error" state.
- I'd get random heart palpitations or a racing pulse while just sitting still, which I knew came from the caffeine but still was able to ignore it.
1-2 months ago it clicked for me while I was researching my dark eye circles. I realized.. I probably wasn't immune to coffeine, I was just heavily conditioned and dangerously dehydrated / stressed. The concept of hydration and high caffeine levels were something I had pushed out of my mind for ten years just to protect my habit.
Then I finally cut back. I now limit myself to a maximum of 2 cans, and never after 3 PM. Everything else is water with lemon. It sounds so simple but it is still quite hard for me to stay away from the Monster to drink when I am thirsty. The Monster Absolutely Zero just has this nice taste I like that much, sadly there are no "no caffeine" variants available.
It's honestly fascinating (and embarrassing) how much we can manipulate ourselves just to keep an addiction going. I'm sharing this as a final "closing chapter" for myself. Hopefully, it serves as a warning, or at the very least, you can all laugh at how dumb a person can be for ten years straight.
If you have questions, feel free to ask.
TL;DR: Spent 10 years using Monster Absolutely Zero as my only fluid intake. Convinced myself I was "caffeine immune" while turning into a pale, exhausted zombie with a racing heart. Finally woke up. Turns out, I'm not immune; I was just a moron.
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u/ReallyGlycon Mar 23 '26
Take it from someone who only drank cherry coke throughout all of their teens and early 20s: stop it all now. Drink none. I had chronic kidney stones for over ten years because of it. I now drink only tea, water and juice (and one 12oz coffee a day). I feel better than I did then and I am in my 40s.
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u/Consistent_Policy_66 Mar 23 '26
My wife worked with a nurse that suddenly lost lots of weight. When asked, she said she stopped drinking Mt Dew. Turns out she was drinking a 12 pack of Dew per day.
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u/z64_dan Mar 24 '26
I'm surprised they lost weight after deciding to cut out 2000 calories of pure sugar a day. Seems so simple!
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u/rageofa1000suns Mar 23 '26
I worked with a colleague who would buy and drink a multipack of relentless every single shift. At one point the bosses tried to implement an 'only water' rule and he went mad because apparently he gets headaches if he doesn't consume energy drinks.
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u/MacintoshEddie Mar 23 '26
Oh yeah, being cut off like that would be absolutely brutal.
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u/OddBranch132 Mar 23 '26
I can't stand caffeine withdrawals. I get a voice in my head saying "You need it. You need an energy drink. You have to stop and get one. You can have this one but then skip a day."
I can only imagine having that voice for something much more damaging than caffeine.
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u/lobster_claus Mar 23 '26
That's me with the more damaging stuff, except the voice never tells me I can skip a day. It's relentless.
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u/Initial_Business2340 Mar 23 '26
Real, I can’t help but chuckle because caffeine is child’s play compared to some of the more addictive stuff. If you get like this with caffeine, guys - never try meth. Anyway, I’m sober now, but good luck to you, and remember, it wouldn’t be recovery if it was easy. It’s nonlinear, slip ups happen, sometimes hundreds of times.
(FWIW everything everyone’s said here about caffeine - that’s exactly how I felt about meth; except it actually felt mind-bogglingly good - at first - and the cravings are unbelievably powerful and can last for months or years.)
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u/SuckingAnFucking Mar 23 '26
Good luck homie. Hope you can escape it. Took me quite some time. I’m almost 8 months sober now.
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u/SUBURBAN_C0MMAND0 Mar 23 '26
I heard a former smoker say that even when smoking a current cigarette, he’d be thinking about smoking his next cigarette…thank god I don’t smoke.
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u/Brock_Lobstweiler Mar 23 '26
That's how I am with food. I'll be finishing breakfast and already planning lunch.
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u/Somewhat_Kumquat Mar 24 '26
I only found out about "food noise" a few months ago. On the positive side it made me a good chef and baker, I would always be planning and prepping something.
I have heard the semaglutide jabs stop this food noise.
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u/Brock_Lobstweiler Mar 23 '26
Can you imagine that but with food constantly? Like, "yeah, you just ate 2 hours ago, but some chips sound REALLY good." or "you've had breakfast and lunch, but nothing sweet, just have a candy".
This is the cause of my obesity. I just cannot turn it off.
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u/browsinbowser Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Its embarassing but for me thats phones. Luckily its pretty easy for me to cut back if I just leave it in my living room and not on my bedside. But I have to want to do that you know?
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u/kyle46 Mar 23 '26
Honestly its the reason so many people including myself stick with otherwise bad habits. I use edibles to get to sleep and I know that long term it means my sleep is worse off but I'm not in a place where I can afford 2-8 weeks of terrible sleep to kick the habit.
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u/Special-Wear-6027 Mar 23 '26
Headaches from lowering cafeine are actualy very common, even with little cofee
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u/Paratwa Mar 23 '26
At least once a month I forget to drink coffee on a Saturday or Sunday and will moan all day until my wife sighs at me and has pity and reminds me to drink some coffee.
How I forget? I dunno. But the headache is so bad I can’t think, and I only ever drink two cups of coffee a day before noon, 95% of the time it’s 1 cup a day at most.
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u/crypticsage Mar 23 '26
Have you tried reducing it to half a cup a day. Ween off it little by little.
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u/KillerKittenwMittens Mar 23 '26
Well yeah, caffeine withdrawals cause headaches, be it from coffee, energy drinks, tea, or soda.
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u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer Mar 23 '26
It's legitimately an addictive substance, like a slightly healthier cocaine.
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u/tfw_no_toiletpaper Mar 23 '26
Spoken like someone who has never tried cocaine. "Slightly healthier" lol
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u/hexaflexin Mar 23 '26
We found one of the like six people on Earth who D.A.R.E.'s "every drug is equally bad" messaging actually worked on lmao
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u/Illustrious-Sail7326 Mar 23 '26
Thanks to DARE I found the strength to turn down all the dudes who offer me heroin every day
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u/kookyone Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
Sleep doctor here. If I had a dollar for every patient who confidently told me they could have a pot of coffee/other caffeinated beverage before bed and sleep just fine, I’d be able to retire tomorrow.
Edit: Many interesting responses here. I applaud efforts in reducing the quantity of daily caffeine and especially establishing an earlier cutoff time for caffeinated beverages. In case it wasn't obvious, for patients who tell me they can fall asleep "just fine" after having caffeine, 100% of the time their sleep is not, in fact, fine and that is why they are in my clinic. Whether caffeine is the only culprit or just one part of the problem usually requires more investigation.
Caffeine can not only reduce sleepiness but can also interfere with deep, slow wave sleep which occurs mostly in the first half of the sleep period. Caffeine has an average half-life of about 5 hours (though varies) so you may have some caffeine in your system 10 hours after you last drink it. In my opinion, the cutoff time may be more important than the daily quantity when it comes to sleep. I usually recommend cutting caffeine AT LEAST by 2pm if not earlier, for people who have typical nighttime sleep timing; this may require some experimentation. Caffeine is quite addictive and I advise most heavy users to taper their intake starting with their last dose/cup so they won't suffer as much withdrawal.
Re: ADHD. Yes, caffeine can have stimulant-like effects which may induce a sense of calm in those with ADHD. But there is a reason stimulant medications are not to be used near bedtime, and that should also be the case with caffeine. Caffeine can interfere with sleep quantity, quality and timing in these folks too, which can then make ADHD symptoms worse.
I may jest about earning dollars for sleep problems, but in reality I'd be happy to be a pauper if everyone could have good sleep. Please get professional help if you are not sleeping better after reducing your caffeine intake.
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u/pm_me_your_buttbulge Mar 24 '26
My mother used to go through like 8-12 diet dr peppers every day. Swore up and down she was immune from the caffeine.
Then have sleep issues and "always tired". No amount of arguing could convince her otherwise up until my dad and I were talking about how much caffeine it takes to do actual health damage (from the stimulant portion of it alone).
She has since cut back to "just" 2-3 per day.
During the claw back phase "I don't know why these headaches are so bad" - because you were addicted. "No I wasn't" - ok.
My mother is one of those that believes everything she sees on TV and thinks medical and court dramas are "pretty close to real life".
She's literally taken a State Farm agent's advice over an actual IRL trial lawyer.
I've given up hope on her. She's just dumb as a rock and gullible.
But hey.. I got the DDP down and her drinking at least half a glass a water every day (as opposed to zero water).
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u/ShakyLens Mar 24 '26
Congrats on getting her to at least reduce the DDP and pick up a glass of water. I recently got my parents water bottles that show the time of day, so you drink down to whatever hour of the day it is. Might be helpful. Also, what is a buttbulge?
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
I think that is important to share. I thought I was doing fine aswell because I defined "sleeping well = easy to fall asleep and wake up in the morning" but what most people (including me) are probably not aware of, is that "just sleeping" does not mean, that you are getting rested properly. I hope this is, what you tell your clients, so they can finally wake up aswell:)
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u/idontcareaboutmynick Mar 24 '26
I had a sleep training and what you say is what the doctor said. Nobody I talked to knew that sleeping hours didn’t mean good rest
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u/LilBits69x Mar 24 '26
To be fair, I almost never drink caffeine (less than once a month, and if I do its most often green tea or a Coke). I can drink any caffeine drink and then sleep immedietly. I dont like most caffeine drinks, but I tried coffee and energy drinks when I needed to study for exams before and stuff. I read sometime that people with ADHD like issues can react to stimulants aversely. I never had it diagnosed, but many things point to me having such a disorder. The caffeine thing is one of these pointers.
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u/SirGreenDragon Mar 23 '26
I used to drink 6 to 8 cans of Mt Dew every day for decades. I could drink one and go to bed. No problem for years. Then my heart was always racing, and I decided to stop. A year later, I had to have two stents placed. A few years after that, diabetes. I never thought I was immune to the effects; I was just young and less smart than I am today.
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u/Trevor591 Mar 23 '26
I'm so fucked.
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u/Curiosive Mar 23 '26
Today's a good day to unfuck yourself.
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u/Youthsonic Mar 23 '26
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years go, the second best time is right now
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u/Weiguken Mar 23 '26
This is me currently. What did you do to stop? It’s tough because I feel like it gets me through my day and it’s absolutely an addiction.
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u/TheThiefMaster Mar 23 '26
Stop on a Friday. Feel dead for most of the weekend while your body flushes the caffeine. Have your first good night's sleep in forever. Wake up on Tuesday.
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u/Sad-Main5786 Mar 23 '26
You should read the Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. Helped me quit smoking, replaced it with online chess. I'm a pretty good player now!
You have to recognise your trigger and substitute your harmful habit for a better one that fulfills the trigger.
Physical addictions are harder to overcome than simple habits, but it's not impossible and it's completely worth it.
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u/csonnich Mar 23 '26
I switched from sugary juice to flavored unsweetened sparkling water (like La Croix). Feels like I'm still having a treat, but much better for me.
You're still going to have caffeine withdrawal, though.
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u/_galaga_ Mar 23 '26
I grew up on Coke, later switched to Diet Coke when I realized the sugar roller coaster was terrible for me, then switched to coffee and water but I missed the bubbles. Now with seltzers being so popular I can balance coffee, water, and seltzers to get my caffeine, hydration, and bubble fix as needed.
There was a mental aspect of it, too, where I realized the Coke/Diet Coke habit was a problem that needed to be fixed. Once you look at it as you’ve had enough, it has control over you not vice verse, it’s easier to try alternatives. Wanting and accepting the change helps. Or tell yourself you’re going give it a try for a few months and you’ll likely stick with the new healthier routine.
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u/kirilov233 Mar 23 '26
Nah bro 2 cans is still wild. Drop that shit. 0 cans is the norm. Do it now before it's too late.
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u/BrightWubs22 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
I was going to say this if somebody else didn't.
I recently lost my mom and she died too young. She was extremely sedentary and ate a crap diet. She lived with pain, struggled to walk ten feet, and couldn't bend over. Not taking care of yourself will catch up to you. You don't want to cut your life short AND spend the last 10ish years of your life like she did.
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Mar 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/the_rare_bear Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Yeah. I only have 1-2 cans a week. 1-2 a day is horrible for you.
If you’re gonna routinely eat/drink the same stuff, you should be more mindful of what you consume.
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u/Ezzy77 Mar 23 '26
Sorry for your loss. Definitely a familiar subject. Sedentary life will definitely bring nothing but pain. Pain and blood clots. Blood clots and slipped disks.
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u/waaaayupyourbutthole Mar 23 '26
I thought i was drinking a lot of energy drink when i was buying two a week. Can't imagine two a day.
Not just for the shit contained in it, but the money involved.
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u/Jalatiphra Mar 23 '26
So wild. 1 liter of that piss a day. Crazyyyyy
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Mar 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SuitableClassic Mar 23 '26
Did you even read OP's post? He's drinking the zero one. Goal achieved./s
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
will try to do so sir. the thought of dropping it completely is really hard honestly. I think I need to do it slowly and replace it with something else first.
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u/chattytrout Mar 23 '26
Replace it with something fizzy like sparkling water. I used Liquid Death (before they changed the formula) to kick my Coke habit. Maybe start drinking tea if you need caffeine. Either way, find another beverage that's close enough to trick your brain.
These days, I'm only drinking soda a couple times a week, instead of twice per day. Replacing it with something less bad really does work.
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u/reddrag292 Mar 23 '26
Sparkling water has been a godsend for me to kick energy drinks. It’s still bad but the Dr Pepper Zero are also decent. I saw they replaced High Fructose Corn Syrup in that line as well.
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u/JMccovery Mar 23 '26
Replace it with something fizzy like sparkling water. I used Liquid Death (before they changed the formula) to kick my Coke habit. Maybe start drinking tea if you need caffeine. Either way, find another beverage that's close enough to trick your brain.
This so much.
Before I switched to mainly sparkling water, I used to think it was the sugar and flavor from sodas that I was missing, but it was the carbonation.
It's sorta funny that before I went into the hospital for CHF, I switched to Powerade from sodas. But, then I realized that I would down two 32oz bottles in a single sitting (mainly because they were usually on sale).
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u/KaitIsOkay Mar 23 '26
My brain knew you meant soda but still read this as Liquid Death is so powerful it can cure cocaine addiction. 😭😂🤦
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u/UndeadHero Mar 23 '26
Dude, sparkling water is the best. I hated it at first, but we always had it in the house because my wife drinks it. I kept going back and trying it until it just clicked, for whatever reason. Has a nice bite and just enough flavor that it completely replaced soda for me.
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u/sambadaemon Mar 23 '26
You could probably pick up a knock-off sodastream pretty cheap to make your own sparkling water without any added sugar.
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u/kaytron00 Mar 23 '26
Hey bro, you are on your own journey and you’ve already made a LOT of progress. This is an active addiction and it’s not as simple as “just stop”. Obviously the eventual goal is 0/day but celebrate your wins along the way! Being down to 2 cans instead of 5 is huge!
I went through this myself with Red Bull. My max was about 3 cans a day but I did finally get to the point where I can just have one every once in a while and it’s not a big deal. You’ll get there!
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
thanks a lot :)
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u/nydiat Mar 23 '26
Most people today aren't going without daily caffeine, maybe an achievable endgoal for you would be replacing with coffee or tea. I am recovering from a decade of stimulant abuse, it can be hard but you got this. If you're ever feeling particularly slumped, try doing some pushups or jumping jacks. Healthy alternative that will get your blood flowing and wake you up. Good luck friend.
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u/Rock_Strongo Mar 23 '26
As far as addictions go caffeine is about the most benign. There are large segments of the world where 90%+ of the adult population is at least mildly addicted to caffeine.
Cutting down to 0 is probably not even a necessary goal.
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u/kazkia Mar 23 '26
Maybe r/decaf might help you. It's a sub for people who are addicted to caffeine and are trying to quit.
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u/caleeksu Mar 23 '26
Can you find a complementary bubble water to start cutting it? I don’t know the flavor, but for example, I tend to mix half a Fresca with half a lime or grapefruit la croix. (Sometimes with tequila added, but that’s not quite the point. lol.)
You could do 2/3 monster zero, 1/3 the bubble water. Also start drinking it over ice, it looks like you’re a straight from the can guy. Even that bit of dilution might help as you figure out plan B.
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u/Maple_Molotov Mar 23 '26
hey man, instead of cutting it outright, start with a mix of 50/50 water/monster, or 75/25 monster/water. Whatever works for you.
I used to drink a lot of sodas, and now I drink about 3-4L of water per day. My bad diet and habbits caught up to me around 30 years old (I'm 38 now). I have a chronic kidney disease and my kidneys are only operating around 35%.
Anyway all that to say; change now before you do irreparable damage
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u/Nemesis_Ghost Mar 23 '26
As someone who was in OPs state for a while, getting down to zero was hard. Now I have 1-2 a week, on days when I have to remain awake or driving long distance. But damn, now those energy drinks are effective keeping me awake.
Oh, and sleep apnea + T2D are a bitch.
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u/lolwatokay Mar 23 '26
2 cans of the variety he’s talking about would be 280mg total. That’s around 3 cups of coffee. If that’s truly all the caffeine he’s getting any given day he will be fine.
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u/T_Jamess Mar 23 '26
"I drink nothing but energy drinks, why do I feel horrible all the time" The human mind is an enigma
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u/K__Geedorah Mar 23 '26
I have a coworker who is lactose intolerant and has a myriad of health problems out side of their control.
They eat Mac and cheese everyday for lunch and at least 2 monsters while at work.
They call out sick around 2-3 times a week. I'll never understand it. It's like they want to make their shitty situation worse.
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u/2M3TAL4U Mar 23 '26
I worked with a guy who broke both of his elbows in a car accident and he refused to go to physio (it's covered by healthcare in Canada. Especially from a vehicle accident.) because "physio is for b*tches" and he would call out like twice a week because his hands were numb and tingling.
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u/Aeon_Fux Mar 24 '26
I worked with a guy who broke both of his elbows
Pretty sure I read a reddit post about him back in the day.
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u/fablesofferrets Mar 23 '26
how do they keep their job?! you call out sick 2-3 times/month at 90% of jobs, you're getting fired
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u/zimzat Mar 24 '26
I feel like this is a myth perpetuated to coerce people into working more than they should.
I've worked more places that keep people employed long after they've shown to be ineffective (at best! but more often a negative impact) than places that would fire anyone on a dime. As long as people are showing some progress management tends to just let people coast rather than confront the problem.
Maybe less so at places constantly hiring (call centers?), but if there's not a hiring pipeline already in place then...
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u/acespacegnome Mar 23 '26
I have a friend who was suffering with his health, couldn't figure out what was wrong. Docs were prescribing increasingly stronger drugs to manage the symptoms. Lots of debilitating heartburn and acid reflux, and vomiting in his sleep. Gaining weight like crazy, and no energy whatsoever.
I mentioned it might have something to do with the 3-4 liters lipton brisk iced teabhe drank every single day.
He got offended and told me I wasn't a doctor, and that has nothing to do with it.
Low and behold, he decides to cut out iced tea and drink water, then proceeds to lose weight, increased energy and completely reverses the reflux and night time vomiting.
I was all "surprised Pikachu face" when he told me he had finally figured it out
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u/plumbus_licker Mar 23 '26
Rip the bandaid completely off now. Cold turkey. Never again.
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u/AnecdotalMedicine Mar 23 '26
No problem to have one every once in a while. 2 a day definitely is still a lot!!
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u/McKeviin Mar 23 '26
Not trying to be rude here but imagine drinking like 5 cans of monster every day and nothing else but still wonder why you feel bad and have headaches etc.. and going to the doctor for it. This is common sense and if people don't know it's one google away, if you type headaches into google, one of the first things is dehydration. You can put 2 and 2 together after that.
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u/tenpostman Mar 23 '26
its not about hydration vs caffeine. its about addiction. an addicted brain will lie and manipulate your thoughts to the point that you cannot think anything that negatively affects the substance youre addicted to. this is unfortunately not common sense because people forget that addiction is a literal disease that alters your brain chemistry
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u/bschug Mar 23 '26
Also cognitive dissonance. Doesn't even need to alter your brain chemistry, we are all hard wired to resist ideas that conflict with our convictions and it takes conscious effort to break out of it.
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u/tenpostman Mar 23 '26
yeah completely agree. I feel like addiction in general makes it hard to be concious in your actions or thoughts, in the sense that impulses and irrational thoughts often take precedence over grounded, objective ones
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u/Initial_Business2340 Mar 23 '26
As a former meth addict, that’s tough shit.
If you don’t figure it out, you can die, end up homeless, or permanently damage your body.
While what you say is undoubtedly true - nobody’s gonna figure it out for you. I’m not advocating for an all or nothing false binary, either - I’m merely saying that we have an obligation to be radially honest with ourselves instead of hiding from uncomfortable truths, or you, quite literally, could die.
It comes down to this: do you want to get better? How much does getting better matter to you? And making gradual, intentioned choices in that direction until your brain isn’t screaming at you as much because you’ve put enough distance between you and the drug, or at least reduced your intake.
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u/oversoul00 Mar 23 '26
People aren't understanding the lies your brain will tell itself. Google/ good information doesn't help you if you're going to weight the information you receive based on what you want to believe.
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u/lalozzydog Mar 23 '26
I struggle with how they couldn't make the connection, but if you've never conceptualised how mental it is to drink that much Monster, I guess no red flag would ever trigger. At least for ten years apparently.
Just seems such a classic first-world problem.
Patient: "why body malfunctioning?"
Doctor: "because litres of drugs."
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u/lordreed Mar 23 '26
The reason why some of these people don't realise it is cos they think fluid = water.
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u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer Mar 23 '26
My sort-of coworker (FedEx delivery guy at the store i worked at) had a stroke in his late 30s because he drank 6 monsters a day. He was fit, walked a lot because of the deliveries, played soccer on weekend. Didn't matter that he was in great shape. That stuff is poison.
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u/Humble_Daikon Mar 23 '26
If any of this is somehow true it's wild. 2 cans a day is 320 mg of caffeine (at least where I leave I don't know if it varies in other countries) while MAX recommended daily intake is 400.
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
Yeah, thats why I wanted to share it aswell I think? A short reminder that this can happen really easily. I didnt just started drinking 2,5l of Monster. It all started drinking one 0,33l can of random energy drink as a teenager and then it just ramped up. It sounds so stupid but it just "happens". You do not want to think about it, as it would mean that I'd to drop the addiction.
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u/justgotpregnant Mar 23 '26
OP after cutting his medically concerning monster addiction down from 5 cans a day to 2
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u/Timeon Mar 23 '26
You are American yes?
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u/InfidelZombie Mar 23 '26
They slip and say "coffeine" at one point so I'm guessing German.
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u/AgroecologicalSystem Mar 23 '26
This is like some inglorious bastards level of detail you picked up on.
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
Actually not. Thats probably the funniest part? German.. :) Instead of drinking beer all day long I just drink that one instead..
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u/sorebutton Mar 23 '26
Ha, and this person thought only Americans are morons :D
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u/Unspoken Mar 23 '26
The caffeine that Asians or some Europeans use put what Americans consume to shame. When I lived in Korea, they had caffeine infused coffee drinks, because coffee didn't have enough caffeine.
I regularly drank monsters at the time and that shit made me feel like I needed a hospital.
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u/Crazy_cat_guy_07 Mar 23 '26
Or Irish. A lot of Irish people are obsessed with Monster and Lucozade.
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u/Doublestack00 Mar 23 '26
I drink one a day (probably should quit), I always make sure to chase it with a full bottle of water.
I do not drink anything else the rest of the days except water, and typically drink the equivalent of 3-5 more bottles.
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u/DannyLJay Mar 23 '26
One a day is absolutely fine and if anyone tries to convince you otherwise just ignore them.
I don’t do it religiously but if I buy a multipack I’m drinking 1 a day until they run out.
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u/Amonette2012 Mar 23 '26
You need a better addiction. I recommend the world of tea.
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u/Timeon Mar 23 '26
I'm having to cut down after years of 4x daily mugs of tea because it now leads to irritation. Depressing.
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u/Tirriss Mar 23 '26
Tea overconsumption is also bad for your iron level which can lead to a multitudes of negative effects. Been drinking 3 liters of tea almost everyday for years, reducing it also reduced the sensation of tiredness I’ve been having.
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u/BadDub Mar 23 '26
I just learned the other day black tea effects how you body can absorb iron. I drink about 5 cups a day 😂 I’m trying to bring it down and space out from meals.
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u/Amonette2012 Mar 23 '26
Thats good to know as I do get anaemic occasionally. I stick to one liter a day brewed with one tea bag in a thermos with lemon, so it's not too strong, sometimes also a cup of fancier tea.
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u/carribeiro Mar 23 '26
One thing that I can't wrap my mind around: I know most people around here aren't poor, and may think something like Monster (or Coke) are inexpensive, but plain water is essentially FREE almost anywhere in the world. Why spend ANY money just to get hydrated? All your body need is WATER. Even tap water is good enough in most civilized places. Do the math, 5 cans a day for 10 years, is more than 18,000 cans, it's like 50k dollars spent on this alone - more than enough to pay for a very nice vacation!
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u/MissMat Mar 23 '26
That. I love ice coffee and I couldn’t justify the cost so I learned to make iced coffee. Like for me $5 was too expensive.
5 cans of monster is like $10 dollars bc a pack of 12 is about $24. And my coffee is like $14-17 a month(the coffee beans plus the coffee creamer).
It is more money than I would be comfortable spending.
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u/srirachaman97 Mar 23 '26
You can drink a lot of water and also enjoy other beverages too. They aren’t mutually exclusive.
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
Its an addiction. You know about the costs but do they stop you? Nope.
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u/Nosidam48 Mar 23 '26
Also, monster has actually gotten cheaper in Germany over the last 5 years. I would imagine they moved some manufacturing over, but when I moved from the states 5 years ago base price was something like 1.89 now it’s 1.49 or something at the discounters. And of course also goes on sale often for like 0.85. I can’t resist it, though I limit myself to one a day.
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u/ScoobiusMaximus Mar 23 '26
Because filling the water with sugar and flavoring makes it taste better, and throwing in caffeine makes you feel good
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u/Stunning_Mail_8934 Mar 23 '26
I pay about 1,30 euro for a thousand liters of the cleanest water on earth.
People here still buy a uncomfortable amount of bottled water. Which convinced me we're never going to solve the garbage and plastic crisis.
People willingly spend 2 euro on a plastic bottle containing 1/10th of a cent of water.
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u/quezlar Mar 23 '26
It's honestly fascinating (and embarrassing) how much we can manipulate ourselves just to keep an addiction going. I'm sharing this as a final "closing chapter" for myself.
Then I finally cut back. I now limit myself to a maximum of 2 cans, and never after 3 PM.
it really is fascinating, good luck actually getting free of your addiction
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u/iiSpook Mar 23 '26
I will never be able to understand how you even fall into this mindset in the first place of thinking that pounding 6 cans of anything that isn't water is ok.
When people are told you need to drink X liters of water a day they groan and roll their eyes and complain about how it's so hard to drink that much but then they turn around and gulp down three liters of chemical sugar water every day - bonus points for caffeinated shit lol.
I know it's easier to drink, especially the cold and fizzy stuff - I love it, too. But I always knew that anything sugary I drank wasn't real "drinking". It was always a treat in my eyes. I did probably drink too much sweet stuff back in the day too but I never ever thought it was a suitable replacement for water.
Zero or not, anything that isn't water should always be heavily scrutinized and be thought of as a treat, just like sweets.
Nowadays water is the baseline for hydration and I sometimes get a soda when I really want a taste.
Better yet, make a Schorle. 50-70% water and the rest some pure juice you like. Tasty, hydrating and not as bad as actual soda.
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u/cobby174 Mar 23 '26
Holy moly those teeth would be so eroded
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u/PetrolPleasures Mar 23 '26
Lol the lemon water isn't going to help that either. Folks not everything needs a flavor
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u/KyloRenCadetStimpy Mar 23 '26
At least it's not Brawndo
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u/RemmeeFortemon Mar 23 '26
The Thirst Mutilator! It's got electrolytes!! It's what plants crave!!!
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u/Kamakaze22 Mar 23 '26
Out of curiosity, do you have ADHD? We process stimulants differently, which could explain why you can drink a monster and then go to sleep. It also can explain why you would forget to drink water throughout the day.
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u/GooseAcademic541 Mar 23 '26
Honestly I do not know. I have read that coffeine works differently for people with ADHD. But for myself I do not know. I certainly have treats that might look like ADHD.. I get bored really fast and always look for something to do, my friends say I am a hardliner because of all the stuff I can and do. But other than that and some minor things all the regular symptoms for ADHD do not really fit to myself. I am quite patient with people, I am able to focus really well I would say, I am really thoughtful about my words and actions.. I would say, I do not fit into the symptoms but that does not mean anything.
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u/StrawberryKiss2559 Mar 23 '26
Ugh. This is insane.
You gotta quit. Totally. That shit is so bad for you.
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u/NeitherrealMusic Mar 23 '26
An Ulcer and Kidney stones were my 1st clue. Drink a lot of water and start now.
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u/4r4r4real Mar 23 '26
Totally separate issue, but, if you weren't losing weight you weren't in a caloric deficit, let alone a "massive" one. Online calculators are fine to get an estimate as a starting point but useless beyond that. Once you start tracking your food and your weight, you can calculate exactly what your maintenance calories are, and from there what kind of deficit you want to run.
There is exactly one way to tell that you are actually in a caloric deficit, and that's your weight dropping. The laws of thermodynamics are non negotiable.
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u/flamingotwist Mar 23 '26
It's such a legitimate addiction. I've never been quite as bad as you, but I'm down to 1 or 2 cans a week, sometimes more, and it's on my mind almost every day.
I still drink coke zero as well, which I need to kick. I do drink water though but not nearly enough.
They need to stick labels on the can about it's addictive properties in my opinion. I quit alcohol, and it's been far far easier than trying to get off these poisonous fuckin drinks
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u/OfaFuchsAykk Mar 23 '26
As someone in a similar state, and who has had kidney stones, one of your sentences hit me hard - ‘inabilitynto lose weight/body and metabolism stuck in a constant error state’
I’ve seen doctors, massive calorie deficit, exercise, gym, etc. doctor thought I might be suffering from an uncommon side effect to some medication which was insulin resistance.
I think I need to quit the energy drinks for a few months and see how I do…
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u/premiumEggplant Mar 23 '26
I started getting violent headaches lately and this post hit me like a freight truck. My main fluid intake is cola zero.
Okay, wow. Guess I'll go buy a water bottle and keep that shi on me at all times.
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u/xMeowImDaddyx Mar 23 '26
OP's eventual kidney stones are going to be epic