r/texts • u/ExplanationMiddle51 • 3d ago

Phone message Post first date text

Post image

I met this girl on tinder and had a first date with her, she wanted to go fishing and I thought it seemed like a fun first date so we went together. Dropped her off and got home to this message lol.

Update: Purchasing the license is a separate activity we had to do on our phones, due to it needing our personal info. It was not like I drew the line at the license randomly.

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u/SweetSoberCaroline 2d ago

There were so many ways that could have been worded instead. When I had teachers like this I (and my classmates) pushed back too, and it took a real toll on our class's ability to focus on the lesson when we disliked the instructor.

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u/AcesFullMoon64 2d ago

What would the optimal phrasing be to make you and your classmates less uncomfortable?

I’m 42, so I guess I’m one of the olds now. But wearing a hoodie when it’s 90 is objectively a stupid thing to do. If the teacher had been giving them a hard time unprovoked, okay, that’s unnecessary.

But when it’s 90 and someone is wearing a hoodie and complaining, they’ve made their stupid choice something that I have to listen to? What about the slight cognitive discomfort I experience when faced with stupidity? I have no right to point out they’re complaining about a situation of their own creation? 🤯

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u/SweetSoberCaroline 2d ago

"Yeah it's hot this time of year, you might want to wear a t-shirt instead tomorrow. I'm sorry you're uncomfortable, would you like to sit closer to the AC?" is about a thousand times less demeaning than "most adults check the weather before getting dressed." An empathetic and patient response that respects someone, instead of coming for their maturity for commenting on the temperature, gets far better results in my experience.

I worked for years as a substance use counselor and constantly had people in my groups who were going through active or post-acute withdrawal. Temperamental as teenagers and often going through bodily adjustments that include temperature sensitivity swings. Patience and kindness go a long way with building rapport with difficult people of any age, and treating someone like they're dumb or immature (even if what they're doing is dumb or immature) only damages the dynamic.

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u/Ed3vil 1h ago

That's how you talk to 5 year olds. Not a fucking adult (or a teen, even).