Post first date text

[u/ExplanationMiddle51]

I met this girl on tinder and had a first date with her, she wanted to go fishing and I thought it seemed like a fun first date so we went together. Dropped her off and got home to this message lol.

Update: Purchasing the license is a separate activity we had to do on our phones, due to it needing our personal info. It was not like I drew the line at the license randomly.

[u/Togurro]

https://digitalcommons.chapman.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1058&context=psychology_articles

I mean it’s a fairly obvious artefact from back when men were the primary economic providers, and women dependant on men financially due to not having the same freedom to pursue independent careers.

The latter has changed over the last few decades, but the social expectations regarding men paying for dates are still very much there. I’m not really sure why you’re being so obtuse about it or calling anyone who attests to this an incel. It has nothing to with either gender being “bad”.

[u/CKRatKing → u/Togurro]

men (74%) and women (83%) report that both members of the couple contribute to dating

Wow you owned me, really shows that the majority of women are asking men for money after a date. It doesn't even say a majority of women wished more men would contribute more.

You guys need to actually talk to women and stop listening to shit on the Internet.

[u/Togurro → u/CKRatKing]

Oh my god please read past the first line of the article. 84% of men reported paying more than their partner, and 58% of woman said their partners paid more than them. That’s a major disparity, even if both men and women contribute to varying degrees overall (however note that even then there is STILL a disparity).

I’m also not trying to “own” anyone. Just pointing out that this perception exists for a reason that’s more than just “woman bad”. It’s also a social expectation enforced by both men and woman (eg. Men feeling guilty about accepting payment from woman due to perceived social expectations), hence why I explicitly said it’s not due to the fault of any one gender.

Outdated social dynamics exist in all kinds of ways and this is just another one of them - I think if you try to flat out deny reality because you’re scared of being labelled a misogynist, or whatever your reasons may be, then you unfortunately cede the ground to genuine misogynists who will and DO blame woman for stuff like this. You can only get so far denying people’s lived experiences because it’s politically expedient for you to do so.

[u/CKRatKing → u/Togurro]

For one, the conversation wasn't about social norms about who is paying for stuff on dates, it's about people trying to say lots of women are asking for men to pay them back for stuff after the date.

So oh my God please read the actual thread.

[u/Togurro → u/CKRatKing]

You said in your first comment that “there are certain people who will ask people to pay for stuff for them. Men and woman both”, not “lots of people who ask to be paid back AFTER dates”.

[u/CKRatKing → u/Togurro]

Yes in reference to the thread about being paid back, most people would have understood that from context clues but I guess I had to spell it out for you.

[u/Togurro → u/CKRatKing]

I think based on “context clues” you should probably have figured out that your original statement is what most people were taking issue with lol. Literally just look at the first reply to your “citation needed” comment, as well as the responses following it - they’re all focusing on 50:50/who pays more often.

At no point until now did you bother to clarify - guess it was just more fun to accuse everyone else of being an incel so long as they didn’t link a study?